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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 10, 2014 20:20:40 GMT -5
just like in terminator when the terminators little red eye went out in the end and he didnt get to kill those people. it always makes me cry.
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 10, 2014 22:33:20 GMT -5
i loved library and turkish stuff
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 10, 2014 22:35:25 GMT -5
i miss sherry ann
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Post by B. on Feb 11, 2014 13:07:35 GMT -5
im bee and i approve of this story
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 11, 2014 14:21:09 GMT -5
i approve of you
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Post by bryan on Feb 13, 2014 16:53:50 GMT -5
Wheeeee me and Soph
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 13, 2014 17:37:35 GMT -5
who are you
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Post by penne on Feb 13, 2014 17:45:41 GMT -5
he doesn't even go here!
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Post by bryan on Feb 13, 2014 20:32:11 GMT -5
Okay bye
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 13, 2014 21:07:33 GMT -5
noooooooooooooooooo
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2014 13:39:45 GMT -5
Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman, and they were both spies. The woman spy had a mission. She was meant to take out the man spy. Not on a date. To kill him. Times were dark, you see but she was a professional. She had never failed a mission. But when she met him, and it was time to finish this particular mission, she couldn’t do it. He wasn’t what she expected in the least. He was charming, and honorable. The two kept in contact, going on secret dates. They were still on opposite sides, after all. But things continued to escalate, so they decided to go to embark on their most dangerous mission yet. Marriage. Together, they became an unstoppable team of spies. But they grew tired of always living in fear of danger. And so they eventually settled down and had kids. Of course, you could say that parenting is itself a dangerous mission, so it was a trade off. But now, they are better off. “Great story mom, but it needs a better ending. Add some monsters,” said Kyle. Kyle had finally gotten into bed after turning on his night light. He was afraid of the dark. Meanwhile, his sister Charlotte had already fallen asleep during the story, as she often did when people stopped talking about her. The mother smiled. “Goodnight children,” she said and went into the living room. “What story did you tell them tonight,” said the father. “Our story,” she replied. Their respective desks turned into elaborate spy computers. “Is there any word on those missing agents,” said the mother. “Not yet, but we’ve got a potential lead,” said the father.
The next morning, the parents were driving Kyle and Charlotte to school. Charlotte was probably playing that farm game on her phone, and Kyle was watching Ru Paul’s drag race. “Kyle, why do you always watch that show,” asked the father. “Because it’s cool,” said Kyle. “Hello everybody,” said Ru Paul on the screen. “Today, we have a brand new drag friend! Please welcome Donnamight.” Kyle got excited about this new queen, but the father looked at the screen in surprise. He thought Donnamight looked something like one of the agents that had gone missing. Except in drag. Donnamight spoke, but it was only gibberish and drag slang. Not paying attention while driving, the father almost ran over the crossing guard at the school. Once they had arrived at school, Kyle got out, and some older kids started making fun of him. “Hey noodle boy. Why don’t you go put some tuna in those noodles,” they taunted. This was a reference to the fact that Kyle ate noodles with tuna for lunch every day, and also not very good teasing. Charlotte looked over, wanting to defend her brother, but she was still angry about the previous day when she was having an existential crisis and he decided to just mimic everything she said. She would have just stopped talking so as to derail the mimicking, but she had a hard time with not talking. The father also looked sadly at his son being teased, but he had more important matters. He showed his wife the footage of Donnamight, and the striking resemblance to their missing associate Donnagon. They had a quick discussion, decided to become spies again and rescue Donnagon. “We’ll have uncle Danny Trejo pick up the kids after school. Nothing bad will happen to us.”
RuPaul sat in her chamber. At her side was Terry, her loyal assistant/minion. Across the table from them was an important business man. “Now Ru Paul, we all know you’re a scientific genius. What are your latest developments that we can buy from you.” RuPaul stood up to show some of her creations. “First, we have these thumb monsters. As you can tell, all of their limbs are thumbs, including their head. I created them by taking the discarded thumbs of people who attempted to cut off their thumbs, sew up the wounds and hope that the bone would fuse together.” The business man looked at them in disgust. “These things would be of no use to me! As you know, I am looking for dangerous weapons to possibly sell to the government. I don’t need these.” Ru Paul was stunned. She though the thumb-thumbs were exceptional. She started to talk them up, when she was interrupted by some lackeys. “Excuse us, RuPaul, but we captured the other spies you were looking for.” Now, I haven’t given the parents of Kyle and Charlotte names yet, mostly because I thought it would be easier without them, and yet now I’m finding that it’s very clunky, but I have to keep going with it. What I’m trying to say is that the spies that they captured were Kyle and Charlotte’s parents! Something bad happened to them! “Perfect,” said RuPaul. “Now that I have these spies captured, I can show you my next invention. Robot Children.” She whistled, and out walked two children, who looked exactly like Kyle and Charlotte. “I can create perfect robotic replicas of children. They have the strength of 10 men. I just need one final piece, known as the third brain. And these spies will tell me where it is.” The spies shook their head. "I bet your children have it, because their uncle will give it to them and try to hide the in a safehouse." The parents gasped, because that was actually the plan!
Uncle Danny Trejo picked up the children from school. “Hi children,” he said in that way that only Danny Trejo can. “Hey there, uncle Danny. What’s going on” asked Kyle. “There’s no time for small talk, Kyle. Your parents are spies. And they’ve been captured. We have to protect the third brain.” This was a lot to process for both the children and the readers who hadn’t seen Spy Kids. “I’m going to take you to my house where we’ll be safe.” They got to his house. “Now, just in case something happens, I’m going to have to give you some spy training. Here, look over all these gadgets.” Kyle accidentally handcuffed himself to a heavy metal lunchbox. He tried to knock it off against the wall, but it hit him in the head and it was the height of comedy! Next he put on a pair of glasses, then looked at Charlotte. “Ew, gross,” he said. “What do you see,” she asked. “You,” he quipped. Height of comedy! “Now one last gadget. These are electric gumballs. Chew them for a couple seconds, and you’ll activate the electricity. But be sure to spit them out right away, or else you might get electrocuted,” he foreshadowed. Just then, some thumb-thumbs broke through the front door. “Get out of here, children,” said uncle Danny, and he sent them into some sort of jet ski/submarine hybrid.
In every writer’s career, he or she will write something that alienates part of his or her audience. Sometimes it might even be a single person in what is otherwise a popular piece of work. It is up to that writer to learn from his or her mistakes. On a related note, here is a section that will focus mostly on Charlotte. “I’m scared,” said Kyle. “Oy,” said Charlotte, frustrated. But there wasn’t time to be frustrated. She looked at the ship’s controls. “Oh no, the only way to control this thing is to share Farm Heroes Saga with all my friends on facebook.” Heroically, she did just that. “Okay, now it’s switched from manual to autopilot, and we’re safe.” The ship’s automated computer voice piped up. “You did a great job saving that mission, Charlotte. Has anybody ever told you how witty and magnanimous you are,” it asked genuinely. “As a matter of fact they haven’t, but please do go on with all my other positive attributes.” The computer did this. Several hours later, they arrived at Ru Paul’s island paradise. “Okay Kyle, it’s time to rescue our parents,” said Charlotte. They got out of the ship, and we greeted by themselves. Only it wasn’t themselves, it was the robot versions. The robot Kyle grabbed the third brain, and inserted it into his main wiring. Now he was not only super strong, but he was also well versed in topics such as philosophy. “I am now more powerful than you can imagine,” he said boisterously. “The name Kyle no longer suits me the way it does you, puny human. I deserve the name of a God. From now on, I will be called Hermes.” Hermes, with near infinite power, captured Kyle and Charlotte, and threw them into the prison where their parents and the drag queens were kept.
“I’m sick of this,” said RuPaul to Terry. “I don’t want to make evil robots or other destructive things anymore. I just want to make a fun show about drag queens. Cancel all further meetings with seedy business men.” Terry stopped. “I’m sorry, RuPaul. But we’ve finally got the third brain. My robots are ready to help me take over the world. I just need some more funding.” RuPaul looked on in horror. “This isn’t what drag is about,” she said. “I don’t care about drag! I care about power! And you’re just standing in my way. Thumb-thumbs, take her to the prison as well.” The thumb-thumbs, always secretly loyal to Terry, took RuPaul and put her in the same prison we were just talking about.
Ru Paul started to cry. “This isn’t what I meant to do. The robot children are going to take over the world, and it’s all my fault. I should have never let my focus get off of drag.” Kyle walked over and comforted Ru Paul. “You’re not evil, RuPaul. Your show is great. It gives me hope for a better world. And besides, it doesn’t matter that you did mean things in the past, as long as you’ve realized it and learned from your mistakes.” RuPaul smiled. “Thanks, kid.” She gave him a puppy kiss. “But it’s still hopeless. We’re trapped in this jail, and Terry and Hermes will soon take over the world if we can’t get out of here.” All of a sudden, Kyle remembered another one of Uncle Danny Trejo’s gadgets that wasn’t previously mentioned here. He took out the acid crayon, which somehow didn’t burn his skin or clothes or anything, but was powerful enough to cut through prison bars. Pretty convenient, eh? Anyways, they all escaped but there was like an avalanche or something, which caused only a really small hole to the room where Hermes and Terry were. “This hole is so small, only children could possibly crawl through it,” explained RuPaul. Kyle and Charlotte nodded at each other, then crawled through. Waiting at the other side was Hermes and robot Charlotte, who I guess we’ll call Tory. Kyle and Charlotte went in to attack, but were easily knocked to the ground by the robots. “Your parents were so easy to capture,” taunted Hermes. “And you’re not any better. Poor little Kyle. Defenseless, and weak.” He paced around, showing how unintimidated he was. Then he punched through a wall to show off his strength. Kyle cowered in fear. “You’re a worthless little squirt.” Charlotte was not ready to let anybody talk about her brother like that. “Kyle. Don’t listen to him. You’re not worthless. You helped get us here. You helped RuPaul realize she was good. You helped us escape from the cage. You’re strong Kyle.” Kyle, with full confidence, punched the wall. And guess what? He really was strong, and he punched right through it! Then he punched through Hermes, causing him to short circuit and die.
From the sidelines, Terry started clapping. “Very good, Kyle. But you can’t stop 1000 robots!” Suddenly, 1000 robot children flew in on jetpacks. Kyle and Charlotte were strong, but not that strong. “Any last words, twerp.” Kyle looked down, defeated. “Here, have a gumball,” said Kyle, handing Terry a gumball. Terry, not one to turn down a gumball, took it with glee. “A victory gumball!” He put it in his mouth and chewed. But after a few seconds, his body filled with electricity. “What is going on,” he screamed. The robot army tried to stop the shock, but every time one touched him, they would short circuit. Soon, all 1000 robots were taken out. “You can’t do this to me. I’m Terry!” And while it was true that he was Terry, that didn't have any consequence as to whether or not electric gumballs would electrocute him. And so, he died. The spy kids went and saved their parents, and any of the captured spies that didn't’ want to be drag queens anymore were freed, although some still wanted to be. Then they were eating breakfast the next day and Uncle Danny Trejo was there. They had previously been estranged from him, and now they weren't, but there wasn't time for that plot line here. They got a call from their secret agent boss, but he wanted the kids to be spies instead of just the parents! Then he said, “Kyle and Charlotte are the winners of this match. What a nail biter. See you all next time.”
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Post by bryan on Mar 2, 2014 14:51:43 GMT -5
Haha woah. I like how Ru Paul is important to the story.
Also what's a puppy kiss, haha
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Post by Rellim on Mar 2, 2014 16:33:19 GMT -5
lolol I loved every second of this story. "I created them by taking the discarded thumbs of people who attempted to cut off their thumbs, sew up the wounds and hope that the bone would fuse together.” Your memory is astounding. A puppy kiss is a lick. Assure the recepient is actually who you think they are before attempting.
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Post by Sixteen on Mar 3, 2014 14:33:16 GMT -5
This is hilarious. It makes me want to be a spy kid.
Or a drag queen.
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