Post by sheepdogg plankton on Oct 24, 2003 20:04:27 GMT -5
This movie was used with the permission of DetectiveDupin.
THE MAYHEM OF A MARRIAGE
BY
SHEEPDOGG PLANKTON
Based on the Fanfic by
Detective Dupin
OPENING CREDITS
“Sheepdogg Studios Present”
“A Sheepdogg Plankton film”
“THE MAYHEM OF A MARRIAGE”
“Starring: UMA THURMAN as Beatrice
JIM CARREY as Count Olaf
JADA PINKETT SMITH as Tiffany
LAURENCE FISHBURNE as the Bald Man
HUGO WEAVING as the Hook Handed Man
?? as Lemony Snicket
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY
SHEEPDOGG PLANKTON
BASED ON THE FIC BY
DETECTIVEDUPIN
EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT
We Zoom in on the theatre slightly, before we CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATRE - NIGHT
In a wedding dress sits BEATRICE, who looks ready to go on for the play. She sits patiently, and next to her is TIFFANY, who is in a track suit that is blue except for white stripes on the sides, and has already done her part.
BEATRICE
I’ve never gotten this elaborate for a play. How about you, tif’
TIFFANY
Well, I’ve gotten more elaborate.
BEATRICE
Well, this beats the play about the Murderer.
TIFFANY
God, yes! So, what’s you line?
BEATRICE
Easy. I do!
Beatrice giggles, then turns to Tiffany again, and someone pops there head through the door.
STAGEHAND
Hey, time to go on in about a minute.
BEATRICE
That’s great.
TIFFANY
So, bea, have you heard from...
BEATRICE
Lemony? No.
TIFFANY
Send him a letter, he’d like it.
BEATRICE
Do you read a word of The Daily Punctilio, tif’?
TIFFANY
Hmm, let’s see. ‘The’. ‘Daily’. ‘Punctilio’.
BEATRICE
He’s done loads of horrible things, tif!
TIFFANY
Oh Come on, Bea, the paper is run by El-A-Nor-A Poe?
BEATRICE
Okay, whatever, I’ll give him a letter...
TIFFANY
Okay, that’s the spirit, Bea.
STAGEHAND
You’re on Now!
BEATRICE
Whatever...
Beatrice gets up, along with Tiffany, and follows her onto the stage, and the crowd cheers, the light goes, and Beatrice runs up, as part of the scene, late for the wedding, while Tiffany, Bea’s sister in the play, comes over and gets into the line where the Maid of Honor should be.
Standing as the Groom is COUNT OLAF, who is smiling, rather peculiarly.
COUNT OLAF
Well, Beatrice, you are late, but you shall still be my bride, as I am in love with you. Now, onto the wedding.
JUSTICE STRAUSS
Okay, do you, The Most Handsome Man, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
COUNT OLAF
I do.
BEATRICE
I do.
COUNT OLAF
Now, we are lawfully wedded! This wedding is very legal indeed, so cheer out loud for the newlyweds, me and Beatrice!
BEATRICE
That wasn’t in the script.
COUNT OLAF
I know. Now, your fortune is mine, all mine.
BEATRICE
Why you!
HOOK HANDED MAN
Boss, let’s get outta here, there’s gonna be a riot.
OLAF
Riot indeed, toodle-oo, sweetheart.
BEATRICE
Foul stinksap.
Beatrice helplessly watches Olaf as he walks off with his crew, and as they exit through the back doors.
BEATRICE
D---
EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT
Olaf and his people hop into the car, and try to start it, but something is wrong with the car, it won’t start.
INT. THEATRE - STAGE
Beatrice runs up to Tiffany, who is on the ground, barely alive, seemingly, but unconscious.
BEATRICE
Tiffany!
TIFFANY
Huh? You want Tiffany, go to Library.
BEATRICE
Who am I?
TIFFANY
How should I know, I have no idea who I am!
THE MAYHEM OF A MARRIAGE
BY
SHEEPDOGG PLANKTON
Based on the Fanfic by
Detective Dupin
OPENING CREDITS
“Sheepdogg Studios Present”
“A Sheepdogg Plankton film”
“THE MAYHEM OF A MARRIAGE”
“Starring: UMA THURMAN as Beatrice
JIM CARREY as Count Olaf
JADA PINKETT SMITH as Tiffany
LAURENCE FISHBURNE as the Bald Man
HUGO WEAVING as the Hook Handed Man
?? as Lemony Snicket
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY
SHEEPDOGG PLANKTON
BASED ON THE FIC BY
DETECTIVEDUPIN
EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT
We Zoom in on the theatre slightly, before we CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATRE - NIGHT
In a wedding dress sits BEATRICE, who looks ready to go on for the play. She sits patiently, and next to her is TIFFANY, who is in a track suit that is blue except for white stripes on the sides, and has already done her part.
BEATRICE
I’ve never gotten this elaborate for a play. How about you, tif’
TIFFANY
Well, I’ve gotten more elaborate.
BEATRICE
Well, this beats the play about the Murderer.
TIFFANY
God, yes! So, what’s you line?
BEATRICE
Easy. I do!
Beatrice giggles, then turns to Tiffany again, and someone pops there head through the door.
STAGEHAND
Hey, time to go on in about a minute.
BEATRICE
That’s great.
TIFFANY
So, bea, have you heard from...
BEATRICE
Lemony? No.
TIFFANY
Send him a letter, he’d like it.
BEATRICE
Do you read a word of The Daily Punctilio, tif’?
TIFFANY
Hmm, let’s see. ‘The’. ‘Daily’. ‘Punctilio’.
BEATRICE
He’s done loads of horrible things, tif!
TIFFANY
Oh Come on, Bea, the paper is run by El-A-Nor-A Poe?
BEATRICE
Okay, whatever, I’ll give him a letter...
TIFFANY
Okay, that’s the spirit, Bea.
STAGEHAND
You’re on Now!
BEATRICE
Whatever...
Beatrice gets up, along with Tiffany, and follows her onto the stage, and the crowd cheers, the light goes, and Beatrice runs up, as part of the scene, late for the wedding, while Tiffany, Bea’s sister in the play, comes over and gets into the line where the Maid of Honor should be.
Standing as the Groom is COUNT OLAF, who is smiling, rather peculiarly.
COUNT OLAF
Well, Beatrice, you are late, but you shall still be my bride, as I am in love with you. Now, onto the wedding.
JUSTICE STRAUSS
Okay, do you, The Most Handsome Man, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
COUNT OLAF
I do.
BEATRICE
I do.
COUNT OLAF
Now, we are lawfully wedded! This wedding is very legal indeed, so cheer out loud for the newlyweds, me and Beatrice!
BEATRICE
That wasn’t in the script.
COUNT OLAF
I know. Now, your fortune is mine, all mine.
BEATRICE
Why you!
HOOK HANDED MAN
Boss, let’s get outta here, there’s gonna be a riot.
OLAF
Riot indeed, toodle-oo, sweetheart.
BEATRICE
Foul stinksap.
Beatrice helplessly watches Olaf as he walks off with his crew, and as they exit through the back doors.
BEATRICE
D---
EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT
Olaf and his people hop into the car, and try to start it, but something is wrong with the car, it won’t start.
INT. THEATRE - STAGE
Beatrice runs up to Tiffany, who is on the ground, barely alive, seemingly, but unconscious.
BEATRICE
Tiffany!
TIFFANY
Huh? You want Tiffany, go to Library.
BEATRICE
Who am I?
TIFFANY
How should I know, I have no idea who I am!