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Post by champ103 on Nov 11, 2004 10:33:55 GMT -5
Best. Chapter. That was true genius. *squee* Thanks for the great comment!
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Post by The Amazing...Spider-Man! on Nov 11, 2004 12:25:13 GMT -5
Best chapter yet. You're captured Snicket's writing style really well.
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Post by snicketfan on Nov 11, 2004 19:41:29 GMT -5
can't wait for chapter 8 ;D
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Post by champ103 on Nov 12, 2004 16:46:08 GMT -5
Tee hee. Thanks so much for all the great comments. I really need to make a start on Chapter Eight...
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Post by Hooky on Nov 13, 2004 18:43:14 GMT -5
*Sings*: I just can't wait for chapter eight.... ;D
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Post by champ103 on Nov 18, 2004 11:15:04 GMT -5
The Perilous Plane Book The Twelfth
Dupin Says: Chapter Eight is here, and shorter then the last unfortunately. I felt maybe this isn't the best chapter of them all, but hopefully you'll still enjoy it.
Chapter Eight When I manage to get a chance of conversation and leisure time with my associates, we think about the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, and therefore came up with a piece of music to describe their stay on the V.F.D plane. We entitled this piece, the word piece here meaning ‘a group of staves, bar lines and different kinds of notes’ ‘The Baudelaires Stay On The Hindenburger’ which whilst not being the most imaginative title one could think of, it is what the piece about. When we perform this piece of woe and misfortune, we begin with a swift pattern of fast and relaxing notes, resembling the happiness the Baudelaires felt as they sat back in the taxi, but the piece soon goes on to staccato, a type of note which here means ‘very jumpy, as if the note were standing on hot wax, or a sumo wrestlers back’ as the children met with Sir and Nero. The piece soon returns to its relaxing self, as the children were taken around the Hindenburger, but as Jake tells his story, the piece becomes slow and mysterious. Then, the piece of music that we play with our dearest instruments becomes sad, scary, and enough to make even the strongest men cry, as the evil man with the beard but no hair, and the just as evil woman with the hair but no beard came aboard. But the sound that the Baudelaires had just encountered, as they stood outside the huge window of the Hindenburger, where the cold breeze flushed in, and where a helicopter had already done so, was not even music that I could resemble with my accordion. The whirring of the helicopter was out of tune, way too loud, and gave everyone around a bit of a scare, so it was almost as bad as the whistle that Count Olaf was whistling as he clambered into the entrance hall, with his posse-the word here meaning ‘group of horrible persons, each one almost as horrible as himself. Standing next to him was his evil girlfriend, Esme Squalor, who was wearing a large sheepskin dress, with bits of shiny blue paper stuck to it. On her head was a small top hat, with sharp bits of yellow cardboard sticking out, so it became apparent she was meant to look like the sky. Carmelita Spats was also behind Olaf, a terrible ex-classmate of the Baudelaires themselves, who was wearing a small sailor suit with a blue skirt, and a short white hat with the V.F.D insignia on it. Behind them were Fiona and her brother Fernald, who the Baudelaires knew better as the hook-handed man, one of Olaf’s most evil accomplices, who the Baudelaires had almost found a good side of when they had been kidnapped by Olaf on his very own subarine. Count Olaf stopped at the front of the group, still whistling, but the off-tune pipe noise soon stopped coming from Count Olaf’s mouth, as he turned to face the man with the beard but no hair and the woman with the hair but no beard, and their aura of a menace crept up behind him. ‘You’re here?’ he asked nervously, glaring at the two evil figures. Count Olaf took a step back, only to be given another shock from the people he bumped into. ‘You’re here?’ he asked, facing the Baudelaires, but his frown soon turned to an villainous smile as he gazed down on the three orphans, who were still in their nightwear, besides Sunny. ‘Just our luck!’ whined a certain Carmelita Spats, who was standing behind Olaf, clutching the hand of Esme Squalor, the evil girlfriend. ‘Wherever we go, these stupid orphans are here! Why can’t they stop following us, the cakesniffers!’ Klaus was about to point out that the Baudelaires had not followed them, and it was actually the other way round, but Count Olaf spoke first, and Klaus didn’t have time to speak. ‘Oh, Carmelita,’ he said whimsically,’ It’s a good thing that these Baude-brats are here! That way we can get rid of them for good, and get a lot of money!’ Carmelita’s face lit up, which means that she suddenly looked very happy, not that her face actually began glowing like a lamp. ‘Money!’ she cried. ‘In that case, it’s a good thing the cakesniffers are here!’ Esme Squalor looked down at Carmelita Spats and smiled. ‘She’s just like a mini version of me!’ she cried, wiping a happy tear from her eye. ‘Of course I am!’ Carmelita Spats,’ and I can also play this clarneti here!’ Carmelita raised one of her hands, and the Baudelaire’s noticed that she was holding what she called a ‘clarneti’ but what was actually an instrument that musicians call a ‘clarinet.’ The clarinet was not an instrument that played in the piece ‘The Baudelaire’s Stay On The Hindenburger’, but it was one that played in the Baudelaire’s lives, as Carmelita raised the clarinet to her lips, and started blowing at the reed, a word which here means ‘a small piece of wood, used to help make the sound of most woodwind instruments.’ There are many things people do not have a talent for, the way that Violet did not have much talent for researching, and the way Klaus did not have much talent for inventing. Count Olaf did not have much talent at being noble, and Esme Squalor did not have a talent at seeing that Carmelita Spats was really not a very nice girl. The hook-handed man and Fiona, who were standing mused behind the rest of the villains, did not have much talent for speaking up for themselves, the way that the newest recruits did not have the talent of choosing what was right. The Baudelaire trio had already seen that Carmelita did not have the talent for singing, when they were aboard Olaf’s octopus submarine, but now, as Carmelita started pressing buttons at random of the slender, black clarinet, they saw this was another talent she had not quite accomplished, as the notes squeaked and chortled as she played. The notes tumbled and spun around as if she had no idea what she was actually doing it, and she was holding the clarinet to the side, as if it were a flute. Carmelita Spats would have never had made it to help the piece ‘The Baudelaire’s Stay On The Hindenburger’, even if she had been noble and well-read, but the simple fact she could not simply play a simple piece, simply. When she finally took the clarinet away from her mouth, the children gave a sigh of relief, as did everyone else in the room. ‘It was ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’!’ cried Carmelita, waving a hand in the air, thrusting the instrument up. ‘And it was brilliant!’ ‘It was terrific!’ Esme Squalor agreed,’ Hee Hoo Jumper Cheese On Toa-‘ ‘Esme!’ Count Olaf interrupted sternly. ‘We gave up on that theatrical laughter, remember!’ Esme gasped, and raised a hand to her mouth in shock. ‘I completely forgot,’ she murmured,’ Theatrical laughter is out, and I’ve just laughed it. That means I’m….OUT!’ ‘It’s okay, Mrs. S,’ Fiona said, taking a step forward. ‘Besides, you didn’t finish the theatrical laughter. Therefore you’re-‘ ‘Still in!’ Esme shrieked in delight, pulling her head from her hands. ‘Thank you, Triangle Eyes.’ ‘No Problem,’ Fiona said, and the Baudelaire frowned at the fact Fiona was helping them even more, and letting them call her ‘Triangle Eyes’ but their sorrow of that only lasted for a short time, as Olaf took a step forward, with an evil glare in his eyes. ‘We don’t have time for all this fuss!’ he roared, pulling his head back to the troupe, who all cowered in fear, besides Carmelita, who now had both hands on her hips, the clarinet sticking out at an odd angle. ‘We’re here to get Kit and Jake Snicket, and we’re not going to stop until we do!’ ‘Actually Olaf,’ the woman with the hair but no beard said, her voice as low as ever,’ Those carnival freaks and the new recruits have gone to fetch them, but they’re taking a while.’ ‘Well we’ll go help them!’ cried Olaf,’ Let’s all go down with them. Someone grab the Baudelaires! Come on, hurry up!’ Olaf started waving his arms around angrily, and most of the people in the room started moving towards the archway, but the man with the beard but no hair and the woman with the hair but no beard didn’t budge, a phrase which here means ‘didn’t move of their spot beside the scared Baudelaires.’ ‘We’re not taking orders from you,’ the man with the beard but no hair said. ‘We got here first, and we’re deciding what everyone does.’ Olaf gave a nervous glance and then nodded. ‘Yes!’ he shrieked, his voice wavering,’ Everyone come back! We have a new plan!’
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Post by champ103 on Nov 18, 2004 11:27:04 GMT -5
Chapter Eight Continued ‘Why can’t we do what I want?’ Carmelita asked,’ and make everyone listen to me play clarinet!’ ‘NO!’ the woman with the hair but no beard hissed, and Carmelita stepped forward in anger. ‘No one shouts at me!’ she cried,’ I’m a special, wonderful little girl, who can sing and play clarinet’ ‘And we’re evil adults,’ said the man with the beard but no hair,’ So you’ll do what we say.’ ‘Step back, Carmelita,’ the hook-handed man hissed. ‘Let’s just do what they say.’ ‘Fine!’ Carmelita cried, stepping back with her eyes narrowed. ‘It’s because they’re jealous, anyway!’ ‘Quiet now, Carmelita,’ Esme whined nervously, patting the young girl’s head. ‘It’s not in to shout at people with beards and hair.’ ‘I guess you’re right,’ Carmelita sobbed, folding her arms in a strop. ‘Now that the little brat has shut up,’ the woman with the hair but no beard said. ‘We can finally get on with the plans!’ ‘Correct!’ cried the man with the beard but no hair. ‘Plans?’ Olaf asked. ‘I haven’t heard of any plans or such.’ ‘Yes,’ Esme agreed, rubbing her chin. ‘And besides, you have to check if your plan is in first, or you might not be able to take it forward.’ ‘The plans are very in,’ the woman with the hair but no beard reassured, obviously not caring whether their plan was in or not. ‘And the Baudelaires shall agree-in danger!’ And with that, the woman with the hair but no beard flung her head back and started cackling, and as the other villains started to join in, even Fiona, who looked as if she weren’t putting an effort into it, the middle Baudelaire found an opportunity to communicate with his siblings, although their time was scarcely enough. ‘Maybe we can find a way to escape,’ Klaus whispered to his sisters. ‘But how?’ Sunny asked, frantically looking around the room. ‘Sunny has a point,’ Violet admitted,’ and maybe we should find out what their plan is first, so we know what’s coming.’ ‘Good idea,’ Klaus agreed,’ But-‘ ‘What are you murmuring about, Baudebrats!’ the hook-handed man cried, and the children noticed that all the villains in the room had stopped their evil laughter. ‘Who cares!’ Esme cried,’ Nothing can save them now! Not a stupid invention from Violet, or a snobby invention from the four-eyes!’ Fiona frowned at Esme, her eyes narrowing, but she said nothing. ‘I’ve heard that baby-brat used her teeth to save them from when we bound them!’ the woman with the hair but no beard cried. ‘But not anymore! Once we get into the control room-which the freaks and recruits are taking care of-we’ll take Jake and Kit Snicket, and throw them off the plane!’ All three Baudelaires gasped. The gears in Violet’s mind started working, although she had no ribbon tied in her hair. Klaus started to think of how he could stall. And Sunny started to think if maybe her culinary skills, or even her teeth could save them. ‘But that’s not all!’ the man with the beard but no hair replied. ‘We’ll snatch one Baudelaire-and leave the other two defenceless on this plane, with no one to help them steer the plane to safety!’ Olaf’s eyes widened in greed. ‘That’s better then our plan!’ he cried. ‘Get rid of the remaining Snickets! I like it!’ ‘Get rid of two Baudelaires!’ Carmelita shrieked,’ I like it!’ ‘And then!’ the man with the beard but no hair shouted,’-then we’ll all fly to the volunteers in that balloon, and pop their only chance of survival!’ ‘If I didn’t know any better’ cried the hook-handed man,’ I’d say it’s time for another round of evil laughter!’ And with that, all Olaf’s comrades, and the sinister man and woman started laughing, shaking their heads, and bearing their dirty teeth, giving the Baudelaires more time to talk. ‘This is terrible!’ Klaus cried. ‘Violet, maybe you could steer the plane to safety!’ ‘Not if I’m stuck kidnapped with Olaf!’ Violet replied grimly. ‘We have to sneak away and warn Jake and Kit.’ ‘Parachute!’ Sunny cried. ‘Or maybe we can get of the plane using those parachutes by the door.’ Her siblings turned to a hook by the door, and saw that she was right. There were small backpacks hanging on a clothes hook, which the Baudelaire’s knew with just a pull of rope, would explode into a parachute, and land them safely. ‘But what about Kit and Jake?’ Violet asked. ‘ We can’t leave them; after all they’ve done to help us. And we can’t let them get thrown off the plane-we’ll be stuck on this plane by ourselves.’ ‘Not necessarily,’ Klaus muttered, but he had no time to explain more, as the shouting and laughing of the villains ended once more. ‘Goodness,’ Count Olaf cried. ‘Nothing makes me feel happier then a round of evil laughter-except for maybe crushing innocent children for their large fortunes.’ ‘Or leaving them in planes with no one to be the pilot!’ cried Esme. Klaus was about to shout ‘You’re wrong!’ but he realized that giving away the plan was not a wise thing to do. Instead he kept quiet, as did everyone else, until voices came from the archway, and it appeared things weren’t going their way. ‘Boss!’ Collete cried cheerfully,’ We caught them in the Control Room, those little-‘Collete stopped in mid sentence, as she stared at the amount of people in the room. ‘Olaf?’ she asked. ‘When did you get here?’ ‘A while back,’ Olaf replied,’ Poor you-being so far away, you must have missed my terrific grand entrance.’ ‘We heard something all right,’ Hugo confessed,’ but we were determined to get these two Snicket-losers out! The snotty children are just coming with them!’ And as the Baudelaire children turned to the archway, they saw that what the hunchback had said was the truth. Rushing from the archway were the five children, who had obviously been using their bounding skills again, as they dragged forward a tied up Kit Snicket, who was frowning, and struggling to get free. She was followed by two more children who were dragging Jake along. The Snicket father looked down at Violet, Klaus, and little Sunny, his eyes filled with guilt. ‘I’m so sorry, Baudelaires,’ he said, as he was pulled further into the room. ‘Well that’s about all we need!’ Olaf said, clapping evilly. ‘The Snickets are coming with us! As is one lucky Baudelaire! But which Baudelaire shall it be?’ ‘I want to watch Klaus bump into things without his glasses!’ cried Esme. ‘I want to throw the babybaud around my head like a shot put!’ Carmelita shrieked, pointing her nasty little fingers down at Sunny. ‘I say Violet!’ Olaf roared,’ The prettiest of them all!’ ‘But I agree with Esme,’ Fiona replied quietly,’ I want Klaus to come with us.’ ‘Who cares?’ Fernald yelled. ‘All that matters is that two of those stupid brats are going to die on this plane, with no one to pliot!’ ‘That’s not true!’ cried Klaus over the uproar of the troupe. ‘Is it not?’ Count Olaf questioned, stepping forward towards the middle Baudelaire. His eyes were full of curiosity, and his one eyebrow was raised. ‘Care to tell me, Klaus?’ ‘Harriet!’ cried the youngest Baudelaire. ‘Shut up, you clueless rabbit!’ Olaf hissed, turning to Sunny, who cowered in fear. ‘I never could understand your babbling ways! I couldn’t bear to put up with you as a hostage again!’ ‘She is making sense,’ Klaus snapped at the count, who turned back with a gleam in his eyes. ‘Harriet,’ Klaus continued,’ is the substitute pilot of the Hindenburger.’ ‘Aha!’ cried Olaf.’ Then we must find this Harriet, and kill her too!’ The Baudelaires gasped, until they were disturbed by yet another voice from the archway. ‘That won’t be necessary, Olaf!’ cried Harriet, as everyone stared. ‘As your ways are over! Baudelaires, come here! I’ll save you from these terrible people!’ The Baudelaires stared up at Harriet like a guardian angel. There are many times when such things happen, not only in the Baudelaires lives-which happened twice in their time in the skies-but it happens in other lives in history, mostly around the time where a woman named Mary found she was expecting a youngster of her own. The Baudelaire children rushed over to this woman, and since it was one of the few times they felt happy, I shall repeat it again. The Baudelaire children rushed over to this woman, and since they were so happy, I am inclined to say it for a third time. The Baudelaire children rushed over to this woman, and I wish to write it once more, so when you look at this book, you’ll see the happy parts of it, instead of being filled with woe. The Baudelaire children rushed over to this woman, full of happiness, and when she reached her, Harriet out stretched her arms. Sometimes, no one, not even an author, can get what he or she wants. The Baudelaires wanted Harriet to stop Olaf-and his male and female associates to leave the plane, leaving them and the Snickets in peace. Kit Snicket-and even my father would like the same thing to happen. But then as Harriet clutched the children tight, not them, or the Snickets got what they want, and the woe started again. ‘Got them, Olaf!’ Harriet shrieked, and spared a hand to rip off her hair, which as it lay on the floor, turned out to be a wig. ‘Perfect, Geraldine!’ cried Olaf, and as the children were stuck in the grasp of the evil reporter, they thought maybe the piece of music that was their lives could be over.
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Post by champ103 on Jan 22, 2005 6:00:56 GMT -5
Thanks Bella.
Okay, the reason I'm bumping this is because I'm HOPING to continue with it sometime in the near future.
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Post by Dante on Jan 22, 2005 7:19:13 GMT -5
Thanks Bella. Okay, the reason I'm bumping this is because I'm HOPING to continue with it sometime in the near future. 'Bout time! No offence. It's just that this is one of the few fanfics that I can even tolerate, let alone like, and to see it cut off in the middle for two months was a little disheartening.
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Leaf
Catastrophic Captain
Go Team Venture.
Posts: 73
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Post by Leaf on Jan 22, 2005 8:59:48 GMT -5
I agree with FFWF. This is by far one of the best ASoUE fanfics I've ever read. And I cannot wait 'til you update!
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Post by ablaze4god614 on Jan 22, 2005 20:31:21 GMT -5
TEXTWhere are you getting the chapters for the tweleth book from?
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Post by Dante on Jan 23, 2005 3:44:36 GMT -5
TEXTWhere are you getting the chapters for the tweleth book from? *puts head in hands* He's writing it himself. It's a fanfiction, not the actual thing!
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Post by champ103 on Jan 23, 2005 4:27:53 GMT -5
TEXTWhere are you getting the chapters for the tweleth book from? A friend gave them to me. He's Lemony Snicket's son, you see. Oh, and I've started work on Chapter Nine, hopefully should be ready by the end of the week, if not before. If I'm wrong, feel free to shoot me down and twist my rump.
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Inumaru
Catastrophic Captain
Light Jak Rocks (So does Dark Jak)
Posts: 53
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Post by Inumaru on Jan 24, 2005 18:47:34 GMT -5
OMG OMG you are so good (gets down and kisses foot) but really did you get that from Daniel's son? cause I'd love it if you could get me a copy?
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Post by Dante on Jan 25, 2005 4:06:56 GMT -5
OMFG OMFG you are so good (gets down and kisses foot) but really did you get that from Daniel's son? cause I'd love it if you could get me a copy? You are being sarcastic, right? Please tell me that you're being sarcastic.
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