Post by captainspam on Sept 21, 2006 4:19:11 GMT -5
This is a songfic to "Valentines Day" from the great Bruce Springsteen. I hope you like it. Be nice. First fic.
Lemony stared in horror as the Baudelaires, now sharing alliances with Olaf, had killed Kit, Fiona and Fernald, and the Quagmires, according to The Daily Punctilio "I can't believe it," he wondered out loud. "There must be a mistake." This newspaper was a legendary poser---a word which here means, "famous for being innacurate" or at least it was until Geraldine Julliene was killed in the burning hotel. Lemony had let Elanora Poe lose from the basement Geraldine had locked her in. "That magee!" Elanora had sworn, "That ####### lowlife magee! She disgusied herself as me from orders given by that performer onstage, Esme. I'm sorry I fired you, Snicket. My opinions on Esme have changed. She was a magee too, in league with that dickweed, Olaf. I'm sorry for firing you, the newspaper was much more reliable when you were working there. I've been told things about you. You're a member of a volunteer organaztion according to Geraldine. I can help you. I know that I have never been helpful, except to my brother, but I'm ready for you."
Lemony had said. "To help, first, don't swear so much. It's not proper. Second, call me Lemony."
He had taken Elanora out, although she had been killed immideatley by Olaf who had sniped her from the top of 667 Dark Avenue, before burning it down. Lemony was shocked that Baudelaires had helped him.
Lemony moaned, throwing the newspaper away...
"I'm drivin' a big lazy car, rushing through the highway in the dark,
I've got one hand over the wheel and one hand...tremblin' over my heart
It's poundin' baby, like it's...gonna bust on through,
And it ain't gonna stop till I'm alone again with you"
...Lemony was drving along Lousy Lane now, he past the wreckage of Uncle Monty's house, then the Valorus Farms Dairy, and the it ended in a cul-de-sac---a word which here means, "curve of road ending shapped like the bottom of a bag"--. He climbed out and looked out at the place where he was born. It, too, was in ashen ruins. This saddened him, reminding him of how little noble people where left in the world. He turned around, got into his car, and drove off...
"A friend of mine, became a father last night,
When he spoke in his voice, I could hear the light,
Of the skies of and the rivers, the timberwolves in the pines,
And that great jukebox out on Route 39
They say he who travels fast who travels along
But tonight I miss my girl, mister...tonight I miss my home"
...After drving through the city, he found himself at the wreckage of the Baudelaire mansion. This was were many painful memeories unfolded. The first was Beatrice writing to him a 200 page book explaining why she couldn't marry him. The second was her marrying Bertarand Baudelaire. The third was them killing Olaf's parents with posion darts. The fourth was recieving news from Brett Helquist that he was sketching the fire of the mansion and that no one had survived except Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, who were at the beach. The fifth was hearing that his home, the dairy, and Dr. Montogomery's house had burned down. The sixth was his brother's death. The seventh was the Hotel Denoument burning down. The last, of course, was knowing that his love's children had joined Olaf and killed many people, including their best friends, and had burned down 667 Dark Avenue thus destroying the safe place inside. Also, the told Olaf were Dewey's catalog was and he got it and destroyed it completely. The safe places were all gone. Almost everyone VFD agent had died in that fire, and Olaf and the Baudelaires killed anyway not present at the meeting or burning. He knew now that the VFD's hope of making thr world quiet was gone now, becuase he was the only one left on the good side of the schism. The only thing he had left with him was the sugar bowl, delivered to him by a taxi driver who was killed by Olaf's sniper the very next morning. The safe places were all gone and they would be hunting him down next.
Lemony broke down, wondering how it could have come to this. His love wouldn't want to see how wicked her children had become. Sunny had even bitten a whole police platoon to death when they were almost captured at the Foutain of Victorious Finance, which was soon destroyed along with the documents inside it as well. He wondered how someone like the Baudelaires could do something so horrible. Kit's baby would never be born. Jacques daughter was only 1 and was an orphan and was killed in the 667 fire. And of course, the catalog that Lemony and Dewey had spent their lives working to organize together had been destroyed. Everything was falling down behind him, the world erupting into a deeper treatchery, worse than Olaf, worse that arson, worse than the schism, worse than the man with a beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard, worse than Hell, worse than Satan himself.
He cried on the steps and did not stop weeping for nine days...
"Was it the sound of the leaves, left blown by the wayside
That's got me here on this spooky old...highway tonight,
Is it the cry of the river with the moon shinin' on through?
No, that ain't what scares me, baby. What scares me is losing you"
After the nine day weep, Lemony drove off and read in the edition of the newspaper that the pond at the Hotel Denoument had dried up in the blaze and in the lack of rain in the days that followed. Also, Olaf and the Baudelaires were spotting near the city, burning down the VIllage of Fowl Devotees. Lemony drove along the Finite River in the Finite Forest. Paltryville was shown in the distance. The eye-shaped building that Dr. Orwell had desecured from VFD's list of safe places long ago was gone as was the lumbermill. Lemony's head was spinnning. Everything had changed in the instant when the hotel had burned. The world was never going to be quiet now. Lemony's life, from beggining to end, was plagued with misfortune. He had no happy beggining, would have no happy ending, and very few happy things in the middle. Lemony knew this. The sugar bowl wouldn't be protected for longer than three days, wether he was killed or not. Lemony opened all the windows and looked at the lake, pondering how to make the pain end when it dawned on him that the answer was right in front of his nose. He drove his car into the river, which rapidly filled the car with the watery mantle causing it to sink into the depths. Lemony strapped himself in, already feeling faint...
"They say if you...die in your dreams, you really...die in your bed,
But honey last night I dreamed my eyes rolled...striaght back in my head,
And God's light came a-shinin' on through...
I woke up in the darkness, sacared and breathin' and...born anew..
It was the cold river bottom I felt rushin' over me,
It wasn't the bitterness of a dream...that didn't come true
It wasn't the wind in the grey feilds I felt...rushin' through my arms
No no baby...baby it was you..."
...Lemony's breath had given out and his consicousness blured. His lungs burst. The current carried him out of the car and down stream. His conciousness gave out completely. As he died, he heard a framilaiar voice.
"Lemony....is it you?" the voice said...
"So hold me close, say you are forever mine,
ANd honey tonight you'll be my...lonely valetine...
Lonely valentine....
Lonely valentine....
Lonely valentine....
"Beatrice," Lemony asked as everything came into clear focus. He was standing in an area in the Vineyard of Fragrant Drapes, before it was bruned. Beatrice was standing before him, wearing the wedding gown the Lemony had bought her. In her hands were the ripped contents of a book containg 200 pages. The book she had written to Lemony. Lemony was astounded.
"It's alright," Beatrice said. "You're here now, with me. Everything is fine. I will marry you as I wanted to all those years ago before that newspaper and this destroyed book tore us apart.
Lemony couldn't contain his happiness. "THANK YOU!" He cried. "I've wanted you for so long."
They walked down the altar, where Lemony's siblings, Fiona, Fernald, Captain Widdershins, Bertrand, Jacob and Maureen Snicket, and all the volunteers who had died where gathered in the audience, clapping. The two married and everything was perfect.
THE END
I know the ending reminds you of the movie "Titanic" and that it wasn't concluded well, but I think I did the others handily. I hope you liked it. Tell me what you think. Also, does the title need to be fixed?
Lemony stared in horror as the Baudelaires, now sharing alliances with Olaf, had killed Kit, Fiona and Fernald, and the Quagmires, according to The Daily Punctilio "I can't believe it," he wondered out loud. "There must be a mistake." This newspaper was a legendary poser---a word which here means, "famous for being innacurate" or at least it was until Geraldine Julliene was killed in the burning hotel. Lemony had let Elanora Poe lose from the basement Geraldine had locked her in. "That magee!" Elanora had sworn, "That ####### lowlife magee! She disgusied herself as me from orders given by that performer onstage, Esme. I'm sorry I fired you, Snicket. My opinions on Esme have changed. She was a magee too, in league with that dickweed, Olaf. I'm sorry for firing you, the newspaper was much more reliable when you were working there. I've been told things about you. You're a member of a volunteer organaztion according to Geraldine. I can help you. I know that I have never been helpful, except to my brother, but I'm ready for you."
Lemony had said. "To help, first, don't swear so much. It's not proper. Second, call me Lemony."
He had taken Elanora out, although she had been killed immideatley by Olaf who had sniped her from the top of 667 Dark Avenue, before burning it down. Lemony was shocked that Baudelaires had helped him.
Lemony moaned, throwing the newspaper away...
"I'm drivin' a big lazy car, rushing through the highway in the dark,
I've got one hand over the wheel and one hand...tremblin' over my heart
It's poundin' baby, like it's...gonna bust on through,
And it ain't gonna stop till I'm alone again with you"
...Lemony was drving along Lousy Lane now, he past the wreckage of Uncle Monty's house, then the Valorus Farms Dairy, and the it ended in a cul-de-sac---a word which here means, "curve of road ending shapped like the bottom of a bag"--. He climbed out and looked out at the place where he was born. It, too, was in ashen ruins. This saddened him, reminding him of how little noble people where left in the world. He turned around, got into his car, and drove off...
"A friend of mine, became a father last night,
When he spoke in his voice, I could hear the light,
Of the skies of and the rivers, the timberwolves in the pines,
And that great jukebox out on Route 39
They say he who travels fast who travels along
But tonight I miss my girl, mister...tonight I miss my home"
...After drving through the city, he found himself at the wreckage of the Baudelaire mansion. This was were many painful memeories unfolded. The first was Beatrice writing to him a 200 page book explaining why she couldn't marry him. The second was her marrying Bertarand Baudelaire. The third was them killing Olaf's parents with posion darts. The fourth was recieving news from Brett Helquist that he was sketching the fire of the mansion and that no one had survived except Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, who were at the beach. The fifth was hearing that his home, the dairy, and Dr. Montogomery's house had burned down. The sixth was his brother's death. The seventh was the Hotel Denoument burning down. The last, of course, was knowing that his love's children had joined Olaf and killed many people, including their best friends, and had burned down 667 Dark Avenue thus destroying the safe place inside. Also, the told Olaf were Dewey's catalog was and he got it and destroyed it completely. The safe places were all gone. Almost everyone VFD agent had died in that fire, and Olaf and the Baudelaires killed anyway not present at the meeting or burning. He knew now that the VFD's hope of making thr world quiet was gone now, becuase he was the only one left on the good side of the schism. The only thing he had left with him was the sugar bowl, delivered to him by a taxi driver who was killed by Olaf's sniper the very next morning. The safe places were all gone and they would be hunting him down next.
Lemony broke down, wondering how it could have come to this. His love wouldn't want to see how wicked her children had become. Sunny had even bitten a whole police platoon to death when they were almost captured at the Foutain of Victorious Finance, which was soon destroyed along with the documents inside it as well. He wondered how someone like the Baudelaires could do something so horrible. Kit's baby would never be born. Jacques daughter was only 1 and was an orphan and was killed in the 667 fire. And of course, the catalog that Lemony and Dewey had spent their lives working to organize together had been destroyed. Everything was falling down behind him, the world erupting into a deeper treatchery, worse than Olaf, worse that arson, worse than the schism, worse than the man with a beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard, worse than Hell, worse than Satan himself.
He cried on the steps and did not stop weeping for nine days...
"Was it the sound of the leaves, left blown by the wayside
That's got me here on this spooky old...highway tonight,
Is it the cry of the river with the moon shinin' on through?
No, that ain't what scares me, baby. What scares me is losing you"
After the nine day weep, Lemony drove off and read in the edition of the newspaper that the pond at the Hotel Denoument had dried up in the blaze and in the lack of rain in the days that followed. Also, Olaf and the Baudelaires were spotting near the city, burning down the VIllage of Fowl Devotees. Lemony drove along the Finite River in the Finite Forest. Paltryville was shown in the distance. The eye-shaped building that Dr. Orwell had desecured from VFD's list of safe places long ago was gone as was the lumbermill. Lemony's head was spinnning. Everything had changed in the instant when the hotel had burned. The world was never going to be quiet now. Lemony's life, from beggining to end, was plagued with misfortune. He had no happy beggining, would have no happy ending, and very few happy things in the middle. Lemony knew this. The sugar bowl wouldn't be protected for longer than three days, wether he was killed or not. Lemony opened all the windows and looked at the lake, pondering how to make the pain end when it dawned on him that the answer was right in front of his nose. He drove his car into the river, which rapidly filled the car with the watery mantle causing it to sink into the depths. Lemony strapped himself in, already feeling faint...
"They say if you...die in your dreams, you really...die in your bed,
But honey last night I dreamed my eyes rolled...striaght back in my head,
And God's light came a-shinin' on through...
I woke up in the darkness, sacared and breathin' and...born anew..
It was the cold river bottom I felt rushin' over me,
It wasn't the bitterness of a dream...that didn't come true
It wasn't the wind in the grey feilds I felt...rushin' through my arms
No no baby...baby it was you..."
...Lemony's breath had given out and his consicousness blured. His lungs burst. The current carried him out of the car and down stream. His conciousness gave out completely. As he died, he heard a framilaiar voice.
"Lemony....is it you?" the voice said...
"So hold me close, say you are forever mine,
ANd honey tonight you'll be my...lonely valetine...
Lonely valentine....
Lonely valentine....
Lonely valentine....
"Beatrice," Lemony asked as everything came into clear focus. He was standing in an area in the Vineyard of Fragrant Drapes, before it was bruned. Beatrice was standing before him, wearing the wedding gown the Lemony had bought her. In her hands were the ripped contents of a book containg 200 pages. The book she had written to Lemony. Lemony was astounded.
"It's alright," Beatrice said. "You're here now, with me. Everything is fine. I will marry you as I wanted to all those years ago before that newspaper and this destroyed book tore us apart.
Lemony couldn't contain his happiness. "THANK YOU!" He cried. "I've wanted you for so long."
They walked down the altar, where Lemony's siblings, Fiona, Fernald, Captain Widdershins, Bertrand, Jacob and Maureen Snicket, and all the volunteers who had died where gathered in the audience, clapping. The two married and everything was perfect.
THE END
I know the ending reminds you of the movie "Titanic" and that it wasn't concluded well, but I think I did the others handily. I hope you liked it. Tell me what you think. Also, does the title need to be fixed?