|
|
Post by SnicketFires on Dec 23, 2003 23:53:03 GMT -5
fine then
TEE
To my kind editor.
Currently I am hiding in the working elevator shaft in 667 dark avenue. I am writing this letter quickly, for i do not know when the elevator will come down the part of the shaft that i am sitiuated in.
Last Wednesday, go to Veblen hall, and ask the person with brown hair about the last time they saw their spouse. If all goes according to my plan, they will say a date, or time, and you must reply with the sentance"I didn't realize this was a sad occasion". The person will give you a strange look and throw you out of the hall. Travel across the street, but do not use a crosswalk. Go into the hat shop and look under the shell-shaped hat rack. There you should find the complete manuscript of "THE ERSATZ ELEVATOR" along with Very Fancy Doorknobs, an icecube made of salmon and a necktie used in the ersatz rope.
Remember, you are my last hope that the tale of the Baudelaire orphans can be told to the general public.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
|
|
Kamikaze
Bewildered Beginner
The Ministry of Silly Walks
Posts: 9
|
Post by Kamikaze on Feb 7, 2004 21:03:57 GMT -5
Oooo...this will be fun.
The Ersatz Elevator.
To my kind editor,
I apologize if this letter is hard to read, but I am writting from the secret passageway where the Quagmire triplets were hidden, and it is very dark.
Go to the Crazy Computer Store and tear open the hard drive of a the newest model of the SpeedyTech 92. Inside you should find my research on the Baudelaire orphans stay in the hotel on 667 Dark Avenue, titled THE ERSATZ ELEVATOR, as well as the In Auction catalog, a pinstripe suit, a piece of salmon, a welding torch, and a doilie. I hope these will be of some use to Mr. Helquist.
Remember, you are my last hope that the tails of the Baudelaire orphans can be told to the general public.
Sincerely,
Lemony Snicket.
|
|
|
|
Post by shiningkira on Mar 16, 2004 16:14:55 GMT -5
TVV
To my dear Editor,
I am inside of the cell right by the Deluxe Cell in the V.F.D. jail. Please ignore the pieces of feathers that are stuck on here, but ever since the Baudelaires escaped, the town hasn’t used any mechanical devices to fix the wall, therefore causing the crows of V.F.D. to fly throughout the jail.
When it is the Wednesday after Ides of March, go to your local Wal-Mart. Pick up some mustard, dill, and boysenberry jam. Go to the second ten items or less line and get your items scanned. When you pay for your items, pay with a twenty-dollar bill with V.F.D. hidden very close to the lower-left 20 . Instead of receiving change, you will receive a very thick package, the size of a magazine.
When you receive this package, you must not open it. Instead you must go to the hotel you were at last. Your room will be unlocked. When you open the package, you should see the manuscript of The Vile Village, a piece of Isadora’s notebook, a feather of a V.F.D. crow, a picture of the Nevermore tree, a sample of the V.F.D. rulebook, Hector’s recipe for enchiladas, the blueprints of the crow-shaped statue, and a picture of the town hall. These items may be of use to assist Mr. Helquist in his drawings.
Remember, you are my last hope that the tale of the Baudelaire orphans can be told to the general public.
Sincerely,
Lemony Snicket
|
|
|
|
Post by GaryBaudelaire on Mar 17, 2004 20:32:50 GMT -5
TAA
To my kind editor,
I am extremely sorry that there are dikdk different letters on this kdked letter. Vice Principal KDFTJELNero is playing one of his horribleeeeeee songs on his violin.
Next wkekd week go down to the l9ocal doll m7aker's shop and go purchase a red Tdjeheaded doll. Rip open her backside and you will find some of the Baudelaire's noisy shoes, a piece of the tan colored fungus, and a school picture of Carmelita Spats, Vice Principal TKDENero, and the two Quagmire Trip4lets. These things will help provide images for Mr. Helquist to draw in his illustrations.
Remember, you are my last hope that the tales of the Baudledi Baudelaire children can be told to the general puebd public.
With all due redledprespect,
Lemoneyks Sniket
|
|
|
|
Post by DrSelbald on Mar 30, 2004 14:41:13 GMT -5
TUA
To my kind editor,
I am currently writing this letter to you from a chest of drawers in a burnt down house. There are many rats about, so don't be surprised if bits of the letter have been (bite mark) off. Anyway, I best hurry- he'll be here soon and if I was unfortunate enough to be here when he was, then the Bauderlire's sad story would never be fully finished.
On the day of tomorrows tomorrow, go to Daedalus Dock and board the ship Prospero at just before five o clock- latercomers will swim. Walk up to the Redburn Ballroom and use the stepladder provided by a Cleaning Lady to reach the Channerlear. Inside the top, you will find the manuspricpt for my very own Autobiography. Inside the brown paper envople will also be a newspaper article I recently wrote, the ZITS file and a rough, pencil drawing of the VFD sign to help Mr Brett Helquist with his drawings. However, you must then jump off the nearest window- for I know that my enemies are also on the ship.
Remember, you are my last chance that the tale of the Bauderlire's is told to the general public.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
|
|
|
|
Post by Alchemist on Jun 10, 2004 2:23:37 GMT -5
No one did TGG yet:
To My Kind Editor,
I am sorry that I did not tell you where I hid the manuscript for my next book. It was simply impossible. I was lucky enough that you even recieved it.
Go to the smallest private school in Tedia and look for a girl with short, straight, black hair who will be outside the school gates at 12 o' clock in the afternoon on my siblings' birthday.
She will then give you a small purse full of tatttered papers and escort you inside. She will tell the gaurd the reason that you are there is because you are her uncle and you have come to collect her report card. After you are out of sight of the gaurd she will run off as she is late for class.
Go to the cabinet in the front lobby and get the water bottle with a bell attatched to the strap. In it, you will find some poisonous mushrooms in a clear plastic bag, a picture of the submarine, a picture of a mushroom dish that was served in the hotel, and a list of the symptoms of mushroom poisoning.
Remember, you are the last chance that the tales of the Baudelaire orphans will be told to the general public.
With All Due Respect,
Lemony Snicket
|
|
|
|
Post by Akbar Le Grey on Jun 20, 2004 6:59:17 GMT -5
I'll do TMM~
~*Dr George Orwell*~
To my Kind Editor,
I am writing to you from the office of the late Dr. G. Orwell.Please excuse the eyes decorating this page and the words Dr. Orwell in horribly large and fancy writing above.
Next Sunday order a pizza from the 'East West We are the Best' pizza parlour.It will be delivered to your house within 2 weeks.Inside the pizza bow you will find the manuscript of the Baudelaires' eerie experiences here together with a copy of Dr. Orwell's book, a piece of peach and a sketch of Sir in pieces of gum, which I hope Mr. Helquist finds useful for his illustrations.
Remember you are my last hope that the tales of the baudelaire orphans will finally be revealed to the general public.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
|
|
