Have You All Forgotten? (Updated, please read)

[violet]

Daniel Handlers birthday is on the 28th!We should make a big banner and background for 667 for him and email him to see it or something like that.It's too late to start last year's plan.

[Hermedy]

I think we should ask ourselves 21 Questions and send him the 21 Answers for his birthday.

The SixSixSeven Survey.

[Emma “Emmz” Squalor]

Awesome.

You can count me in.

[Sixteen]

What kind of questions would you have in mind for the survey?

[melon head.]

I'd love to be part of the survey. Mr Handler's birthday needs to be treated with respect and royalty.

[s]

What sort of questions?

[Hermedy]

i.e.

Shruti, what is your least favorite thing about Daniel Handler?

Gigi, how many times do you plan to read through ASOUE in your life and how have you come to this conclusion?

Antenora, what, in your opinion, is the strongest political statement ever made by Lemony Snicket?

Dante, what is Daniel Handler's greatest shortcoming as Lemony Snicket's legal representative?

Libitina, what scene in a Series of Unfortunate Events made you weep the least?

Alice, if you were to give Adverbs/The Basic Eight/Watch Your Mouth a different name, which title would you choose?

Snicketface, if you were a wayward latke, would you ever manage to stop screaming?

randommember667123, if you were Daniel Handler, what would you wish for as you blow out the candles on your birthday cake?

See what I'm getting at? And of course, the answers can be of varying degrees of seriousness. We should aim to have some humorous and some sombre, just like the answers he gave us in The Insidious Inquiries.

I humbly believe that this is a fantastic idea, and a very nice gesture as well. I hope you agree with me. If not, kindly suggest an alternative collaborative present for our favorite author. Time is running out.

You can pick your own question, and answer it. Post it here. Then a panel of judges and I will select the 21 best, and pass them on to Daniel Handler for his birthday.

[Hermedy]

Excellent. Short, clever, classic BSam.

Thanks for the entry, I'm sure we will be able to use that.

[Libitina]

Libitina, if you were schizophrenic and Daniel Handler, what question would you ask yourself?
Answer: Why?

Challenge
Jemima, what musical number would you write to describe A Series of Unfortunate Events?

[idiotj]

J, Shruti and Alice, if A Series of Unfortunate Events were a musical extravaganza, how would it go?
First of all, Stephen Sondheim should write the songs with some apprentices like Alice and under the instruction of Daniel Handler. Michael Cerveris should play Count Olaf. Kristin Chenoweth could be in the musical version of The Austere Academy as a supporting student. Neil Patrick Harris could be Jacques Snicket and Raul Esparza can be Hector.

ACT ONE
The overture is cheerful and should imply joyous activity--ie, romping through flowers--even though the Baudelaire children are relatively sedentary on the beach (skipping stones, biting and examining objects).

The cheery music comes to a halt when Mr. Poe (bass-baritone) comes to announce their parents' death. They are ushered to Count Olaf's house, but are greeted by Justice Strauss through song. All seems well--until Count Olaf shows up, who breaks up Strauss's lovely song with a quick, harsh list of chores.

Mr. Poe takes the children to the home of their new guardian: Count Olaf. Middle-school bassoonists have been hired to play his theme song, which is only yet hinted to by their raucous crowing; lyrics, don’t worry, will appear later. As they tour the filthy mansion, Olaf can be heard singing in the background:

“I’ll marry Violet on Sunday, that’s what I’ll do; I’ll make her sign.
I know that hopefully one day, all of her fortune will be mine!”

Sadly, the orphans don’t hear this; it is only at the end of the scene that they discover his dastardly plot, and this only happens after the distressingly hopeful number they perform praising libraries.

The orphans sing about their misery. Count Olaf announces that he's going to put on a play. It's going to be about a marriage. Klaus suspects something, so he goes to Justice Strauss and they have a duet about laws. Strauss hits on the "two people can get married if they sign a document" thing, and Klaus rushes home to tell his siblings.

The next morning, Klaus brings this up to Count Olaf. Count Olaf tells Klaus to wake up his sisters, and Klaus finds Sunny gone. Olaf reveals his plan. The marriage commences and there's a song called "Right Hand." When Olaf's plot his foiled, the orphans sing triumphantly--song called "Your Plot Is Foiled." Olaf swears revenge, and the Baudelaires are taken away to another home.

ACT TWO

Act Two begins with Mr. Poe and the orphans driving to Prufrock Prep. Mr. Poe sings, the orphans sing, and soon the students at the academy join in so that it's a trio. The music comes to a stop when bad violin playing begins. Mr. Poe knocks at the door several times; Nero keeps playing. At last, Poe yells "FIRE!" to get Nero's attention, and then awkwardly lies that he yelled no such thing,

Nero shows the orphans around in a song called Welcome to Prufrock Prep, including a mention of the computer system, but then, spoken, tells the Baudelaires what THEIR living conditions will be. The Baudelaires meet some new triplet friends (the Quagmires) in the process (“Who Knew Such Misery Could Exist Outside Our Own Sorry Existences”). Duncan sings in young, ambitious reporter fashion while Isadora sings in couplets. Their song is interupted by the chorus of students singing "new teacher." The Baudelaires look around to see Olaf in disguise. Oh noez! D: Carmelita Spats tells the orphans to attend an intensive extra gym session with Coach Ghenghis.

The work piles up. The Violet sings about their living conditions, Klaus sings about their schooling, Olaf sings about his nefarious plot and Nero accompanies it in the background with awful violin playing.

The Baudelaires here there's a test the next day. The orphans scheme, and all goes well until they're found out. Klaus begins to sing, "It's Count Olaf" but is cut off by Olaf dragging the Quagmires to the car and driving off. (“Which Set of Siblings Scores More Misery Points / From This Dastardly Olafian Deed”).The Quagmires shout about VFD, and the Baudelaires are left alone, singing "No Happy End in Sight."

The Baudelaires track the Quagmires through assorted locations – a village, a hospital, a carnival. Pervading all of this, there are crows in the trees, saying crow things, doing as they please. The orchestra tries admirably to imitate this.

The Baudelaires arrive at the Village of Fowl Devotees. They are in the town hall and the elders are arguing about the rules. ("That's The Law.") Then they discuss the newly arrived children ("It Takes a Village") and call upon Hector to take care of them. ("You'll be caring for them, feeding them, housing them, clothing them, teaching them good morals and good manners--we'll be raising them.")

Hector walks them back to his house and sings about his dreams and his illegal activities. ("Superlative." "I'll escape these stupid, superfluous laws and get away from these crow's claws.")

Hector presents to them the Nevermore Tree. The orphans spot the letter among the black feathers. ("Light Amidst the Dark.")

The next song is the poem "For sapphires, etc." But it's the full-length poem, not just bit by bit. It's interrupted by the shouts of "Count Olaf has been captured." They try to fight mob mentality, but later discover Jacques has died in jail and that they are being accused of murder.

In jail, Klaus discovers the poem's secret and they form an escape plan. ("Epiphanies/Happy Birthday.") They reunite with the Quagmires and Hector ("Time to Fly") but the later/ladder (they're the same word, if you think about it drunk) is shot down.

[Hermedy]

Okay... There are about five that I'm happy with right now, and I think we need a minimum of thirteen. Five days left.

I would like to see more entries. You should be jumping at this opportunity, if you're a true 667er.

And just so you know, there's a new moderator selection coming up...

[C.]

Q: If you had to choose between reading A Series of Unfortunate Events all the way through or enjoying a hearty breakfast of nails, what would you choose?

A: This is a very hard question to answer. While eating nails is just rediculous, there is also a matter of reading this series. Why would anyone want to put themselves through a series of misfortune and woe, so terrible they would cry for days. Well, even then, it all depends if there is something to wash down those nails, which in that case, please hand me a spoon.

[violet]

Good ones so far-especially Sixteen's and Cybermystery's.


I'm re-doing mine.

Violet, what would be your first thought (s) if you were locked in an italian restraunt slowly filling with water?
Regret that I didn't STOP reading the Hostile Hospitable-or any of the other books, for that matter.


Unless the other one was better.....

[Linda Rhaldeen]

Sorry, I meant to have this posted by Friday but was having real trouble thinking of a good question.

Linda, what is the most useful survival skill A Series of Unfortunate Events has taught you?

While reading the woeful tales of the Baudelaire orphans has not been the most healthful of choices (and has cost a fortune in tissues), I have nevertheless learned one skill that comes in handy when escaping from angry mobs. The books have taught me to identify and use the works of Edgar Allen Poe, Charles Baudelaire, John Godfrey Saxe, George Orwell and Giuseppe Verdi in my very own Vaporetto of Favorite Detritus.


One more thing. I noticed a couple people had made spelling errors in their questions. Before we send off the questions, we should make sure all errors have been corrected, or else it'll be really embarrassing.

[Akbar Le Grey]

You're all doing great, guys [except you, Willis]. Makes one kinda self-conscious.

I'll try to have one in by this time tomorrow.