Post by Celinra on May 15, 2004 19:09:56 GMT -5
Here is a story I wrote. It is actually a serious story, as opposed to my "The Most Random Story in the World" story. Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated.
"A Remote Controlled Heart"
By Celinra
Jun didn’t like walking home through the poor neighborhood. While seeing people worse off than him made him appreciate what little he had, he didn’t like seeing everyday what he knew he couldn’t change. The signs people wore showed how desperate they were: “Will work for food,” “I need change,” and one that was becoming all too common, “Will RCH for money.”
“I can’t believe people’s standards have gotten so low!” remarked Toshihiro, Jun’s best friend.
“Neither can I!” Jun replied. “I mean, throughout history, people have always tried to control others, but I never imagined there’d come a time when they’d be doing it literally!”
“Not just that,” Toshihiro stated. “That people are willing to be Remote Controlled Humans, to completely give up their free will, shows just how bad society has gotten.”
“Maybe he has a reason for it!” Jun exclaimed. “Maybe he needs money to help his family,” he looked up at Toshi, “or a friend.”
“Jun, you’re not thinking of doing it, are you?”
“Toshi, you need that surgery, or you’ll die!” Jun said as tears formed in his eyes. “None of my job interviews so far have worked out, so…”
Toshihiro grabbed Jun by the shoulders, and looked down at him. “I know you want to help, but don’t do something like that on my account. I… I don’t want you being hurt just to save me, alright?”
Jun nodded, but wouldn’t meet the other boy’s eyes. He broke from Toshihiro’s grip and continued walking in order to avoid the awkward silence he knew would come. Toshihiro sighed and followed after him.
Finally, they arrived at their destination, the neighborhood drug store. “Good luck with your interview, Jun,” Toshihiro said cheerfully. “Who knows, maybe you’ll get this one, and neither of us will have to worry about RCHs ever again!”
Jun smiled and nodded. “I’ll try my best!” he exclaimed as he walked into the store. Going towards the office in the back, he couldn’t help overhearing bits of conversations.
“Like, can you believe it? She, like, said…”
“…that I gots t’ stop bein’ like that, so I says…”
“…I’d make it worth their while.” Jun stopped to listen. The speaker was obviously rich; his stylish new clothes were in sharp contrast with the faded clothes Jun wore. “It can’t be easy to give up one’s free will.” Jun’s heart sank. He was looking for an RCH. He couldn’t…
“But that much for only a week? Why?”
“Why not? I certainly wouldn’t give up my free will for less than that.”
Jun thought about it. If it would only be for a week, he could do it and get the money before Toshi found out. He knew Toshi wouldn’t approve, but he wanted to do whatever he could to save Toshi’s life. “E-excuse me… I couldn’t help overhearing…”
* * *
Jun followed the rich man, Masato, into his house. As he looked around, he noticed the halls filled with artifacts and artwork. He never realized that it was possible for one person to hold so much wealth. It made him sad when he thought of the beggars he’d seen on the street. He wondered why it had to be this way, why some people had excess wealth when others had none.
The walked into a study, and Masato sat behind a desk. He motioned for Jun to sit opposite him. He pulled out a sheet of paper. “What do you think is a fair price?”
“Um… actually… a friend of mine needs surgery, but doesn’t have the money for it. I know it’s a bit much, but…”
Masato smiled. “No, it’s fine. It must be hard to have a loved one in trouble.” He wrote the details down on the paper, and slid it to Jun. “If you could sign this, please.”
Jun picked up a pen, and reached towards the contract. As he signed, he closed his eyes. I’m sorry, Toshi.[/] As soon as he finished, Masato stood up and walked behind Jun. Without warning, he put the device on. He leaned towards Jun’s ear. “Now,” he whispered, “you’re mine.”
Tears formed in Jun’s eyes, the only thing he could control anymore. For the first time, he realized the full extent of what he had done, and his eyes reflected nothing but pain and helplessness.
* * *
The week was different from anything Jun had expected. Masato was very kind to him, and at times let him do things on his own, rather than with the remote control. He often made sure that Jun was still alright with being an RCH before putting the device back on him.
At the same time, Jun found that being an RCH had a freeing effect. Nothing he did was his fault. While he was a Remote Controlled Human, he had no cares to worry about. He could do whatever he wanted, and wouldn’t get blamed.
However, he could do nothing he wanted. With the device, nothing he chose to do had any effect. He couldn’t move, eat, or breath without the remote control’s assistance. Likewise, he didn’t feel anything that happened to him. Pain and pleasure were the same, and both were empty. He learned it was useless to make facial expressions, his face was a constant blank no matter what he felt.
* * *
“Hey, Jun! Guess what!” Toshi was more energetic than usual when Jun finally saw him again at the end of the week.
“What?” Jun’s eyes were curious, but in all other ways he seemed not to care.
“I got an anonymous check earlier this week, to pay for my surgery. Isn’t that great?”
“Yeah,” Jun replied, but still shows no signs of the happiness he felt.
* * *
Jun sat in his room, alone. A faded paper was in his hands, covered with water spots. He had read it more times than he could count. Though he had it memorized, he couldn’t help reading it once more:
“Jun,
I’m sorry to tell you this in a letter, but it’s the best way I know how. I feel I cannot be friends with you anymore. Since I told you about the check for my surgery, you’ve been different. You were once so expressive and cheerful, but now that’s almost completely gone. You’ve become a shell of what you once were. I’m sorry, but I cannot be around you, it reminds me too much of the person I’ve lost. If the old you ever comes back, let me know, I’d love to see him again.
~Toshi”
Jun knew the old him wasn’t coming back. After being an RCH, he’d never really returned to normal. Since then, it seemed pointless for him to do anything, he always felt like it would have no effect on anything.
He looked out his window, up to the stars. He saw no point in living anymore. He tried to reach the stars, to fly up to them, but he only fell into solid, shattering darkness.
"A Remote Controlled Heart"
By Celinra
Jun didn’t like walking home through the poor neighborhood. While seeing people worse off than him made him appreciate what little he had, he didn’t like seeing everyday what he knew he couldn’t change. The signs people wore showed how desperate they were: “Will work for food,” “I need change,” and one that was becoming all too common, “Will RCH for money.”
“I can’t believe people’s standards have gotten so low!” remarked Toshihiro, Jun’s best friend.
“Neither can I!” Jun replied. “I mean, throughout history, people have always tried to control others, but I never imagined there’d come a time when they’d be doing it literally!”
“Not just that,” Toshihiro stated. “That people are willing to be Remote Controlled Humans, to completely give up their free will, shows just how bad society has gotten.”
“Maybe he has a reason for it!” Jun exclaimed. “Maybe he needs money to help his family,” he looked up at Toshi, “or a friend.”
“Jun, you’re not thinking of doing it, are you?”
“Toshi, you need that surgery, or you’ll die!” Jun said as tears formed in his eyes. “None of my job interviews so far have worked out, so…”
Toshihiro grabbed Jun by the shoulders, and looked down at him. “I know you want to help, but don’t do something like that on my account. I… I don’t want you being hurt just to save me, alright?”
Jun nodded, but wouldn’t meet the other boy’s eyes. He broke from Toshihiro’s grip and continued walking in order to avoid the awkward silence he knew would come. Toshihiro sighed and followed after him.
Finally, they arrived at their destination, the neighborhood drug store. “Good luck with your interview, Jun,” Toshihiro said cheerfully. “Who knows, maybe you’ll get this one, and neither of us will have to worry about RCHs ever again!”
Jun smiled and nodded. “I’ll try my best!” he exclaimed as he walked into the store. Going towards the office in the back, he couldn’t help overhearing bits of conversations.
“Like, can you believe it? She, like, said…”
“…that I gots t’ stop bein’ like that, so I says…”
“…I’d make it worth their while.” Jun stopped to listen. The speaker was obviously rich; his stylish new clothes were in sharp contrast with the faded clothes Jun wore. “It can’t be easy to give up one’s free will.” Jun’s heart sank. He was looking for an RCH. He couldn’t…
“But that much for only a week? Why?”
“Why not? I certainly wouldn’t give up my free will for less than that.”
Jun thought about it. If it would only be for a week, he could do it and get the money before Toshi found out. He knew Toshi wouldn’t approve, but he wanted to do whatever he could to save Toshi’s life. “E-excuse me… I couldn’t help overhearing…”
* * *
Jun followed the rich man, Masato, into his house. As he looked around, he noticed the halls filled with artifacts and artwork. He never realized that it was possible for one person to hold so much wealth. It made him sad when he thought of the beggars he’d seen on the street. He wondered why it had to be this way, why some people had excess wealth when others had none.
The walked into a study, and Masato sat behind a desk. He motioned for Jun to sit opposite him. He pulled out a sheet of paper. “What do you think is a fair price?”
“Um… actually… a friend of mine needs surgery, but doesn’t have the money for it. I know it’s a bit much, but…”
Masato smiled. “No, it’s fine. It must be hard to have a loved one in trouble.” He wrote the details down on the paper, and slid it to Jun. “If you could sign this, please.”
Jun picked up a pen, and reached towards the contract. As he signed, he closed his eyes. I’m sorry, Toshi.[/] As soon as he finished, Masato stood up and walked behind Jun. Without warning, he put the device on. He leaned towards Jun’s ear. “Now,” he whispered, “you’re mine.”
Tears formed in Jun’s eyes, the only thing he could control anymore. For the first time, he realized the full extent of what he had done, and his eyes reflected nothing but pain and helplessness.
* * *
The week was different from anything Jun had expected. Masato was very kind to him, and at times let him do things on his own, rather than with the remote control. He often made sure that Jun was still alright with being an RCH before putting the device back on him.
At the same time, Jun found that being an RCH had a freeing effect. Nothing he did was his fault. While he was a Remote Controlled Human, he had no cares to worry about. He could do whatever he wanted, and wouldn’t get blamed.
However, he could do nothing he wanted. With the device, nothing he chose to do had any effect. He couldn’t move, eat, or breath without the remote control’s assistance. Likewise, he didn’t feel anything that happened to him. Pain and pleasure were the same, and both were empty. He learned it was useless to make facial expressions, his face was a constant blank no matter what he felt.
* * *
“Hey, Jun! Guess what!” Toshi was more energetic than usual when Jun finally saw him again at the end of the week.
“What?” Jun’s eyes were curious, but in all other ways he seemed not to care.
“I got an anonymous check earlier this week, to pay for my surgery. Isn’t that great?”
“Yeah,” Jun replied, but still shows no signs of the happiness he felt.
* * *
Jun sat in his room, alone. A faded paper was in his hands, covered with water spots. He had read it more times than he could count. Though he had it memorized, he couldn’t help reading it once more:
“Jun,
I’m sorry to tell you this in a letter, but it’s the best way I know how. I feel I cannot be friends with you anymore. Since I told you about the check for my surgery, you’ve been different. You were once so expressive and cheerful, but now that’s almost completely gone. You’ve become a shell of what you once were. I’m sorry, but I cannot be around you, it reminds me too much of the person I’ve lost. If the old you ever comes back, let me know, I’d love to see him again.
~Toshi”
Jun knew the old him wasn’t coming back. After being an RCH, he’d never really returned to normal. Since then, it seemed pointless for him to do anything, he always felt like it would have no effect on anything.
He looked out his window, up to the stars. He saw no point in living anymore. He tried to reach the stars, to fly up to them, but he only fell into solid, shattering darkness.