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Post by AssortedCookies on May 18, 2004 0:06:22 GMT -5
Here are a few of my poems, none rhyme, so I suppose they are free-form or summat:
You Save My Life-I Hate You
Sometimes I want to kill myself But then I think of you and How happy you would be and I put the thought away for now
Seam Ripper
Take apart my morals by the seams You find my weakness I cant resist I attempt to keep some dignity collect the pieces of my pride from the floor where you tossed them aside You dont care you know I'll be torn ripped apart my the seams
The Funeral
I lay the flowers on the grave and weep because no one came but me to say goodbye to my hopes and dreams
Get up
I can no longer live here In this fantasy world I know you thought we'd be together I thought so too
I need to wake up This is all so surreal But reality is so much better When I can leave at any time with you
It wasn't real It never was But I still miss it every night Longing for something that was never there
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Post by AssortedCookies on May 20, 2004 16:54:55 GMT -5
Thanks! I'm really glad you like them! The Funeral and Get Up are related in the sense that I wrote them both in the same day and I was feeling that same emotion. The Funeral has some more verses, but I lost the notebook and cannot find it, and so I only typed what I could remember. Thanks for replying, I didn't think anybody was going to.
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Post by negativenine on May 20, 2004 17:01:54 GMT -5
I like You Save My Life- I Hate You the best. It's short, but I think it says all it needs to. I also like the way you varied the length of the sentences and the way you sort of cut them in untraditional places.
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Post by AssortedCookies on May 21, 2004 22:37:34 GMT -5
So what made you write Funeral/Get Up? I was feeling generally empty, and dead. Having a rough time coping with some things, my boyfriend (I suppose you would call him that, but he was so much more) and I had just ended, after three years. Blah, blah, blah. I don't want to bore you with my life story, so... Here are a couple more The SunI stare at the sun and try not to think about you try not to think I'm blank withering entity of nothing and while I hold this inside I lie on the grass And stare at the sun IronyThese lower beings lesser beasts who cannot love so far below the human race Eagles, majestic high above my head they soar to heights I'll never reach You'll never know complex emotion only innate fears bereft the pain that I know now You are Above that And thanks for the compliments, Neggie. I just cut them off where I thought fit.
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Post by AssortedCookies on May 24, 2004 12:51:56 GMT -5
Yes. Well, I PMed you with it a few days ago.
Anyway, no I have not read "Going To The Sun" Is it any good? Have you read it?
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Post by AssortedCookies on May 24, 2004 13:08:36 GMT -5
Does she succeed?
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Post by AssortedCookies on May 24, 2004 23:05:49 GMT -5
I can't really remember she hits a pothole (literally and figuratively) and her life kind-of begins to take a different direction. I think the ending involved a picnic but I can't remember.. the book was less about an ending, and more about the journey anyways. I don't think I could read it then. I would be dying to know what happens next. The ending is the most crucial point, the deciding factor for me if the book was good. Normally, if a book does not end the way I like, I create an ending in my head for the book that I like better. It's awful, I know, I know. I need to get over that.
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Post by Danny's Girl on May 25, 2004 19:55:36 GMT -5
I love writing poetry. Here's one of mine, tell me what you think.
Reality I never sought, my life a dream I wished it not, When morning came, the sun did set, my questions all unanswered yet, Now darkness covers all I see, Forever night and never free to dream again and find a way to see once more the light of day wherein all of the answeres lie in fantasy so cannot I go back in time, re-live the dawn and show my heart it wasn't wrong.
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Post by AssortedCookies on May 25, 2004 23:45:55 GMT -5
Oh, what a fun poem. But I'm a bit confused by the second line-- explain? The second line also confused me. Was in supposed to contradict with the entirety of the poem, or did you word it wrongly? But I did like it.
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Post by SnicketFires on May 28, 2004 20:12:53 GMT -5
E-I liked your poem.
Cookies: I like You Save My Life-I Hate You too. It's so...[the only word I can think of is "real" and that's not the word I'm looking for]...beleiveable.
The Worship of Monigan
Life brews in the distance The future’s candle is lit The vagueness of power is troubled Lest good falls into a pit
Desired is grace and approval And all else that goes with sin As is the worship of Monigan, Adaptation is natural to kin
The craft of civilization is rising While uncertainty of all is vast To be a temptress is alluring Yet things can haunt from the past
From within intuition is rising Suspicion controls your worth The exotic poisons refresh the dead Fortune controls thee without mirth
Through all confusion a blade is lifted To slit the throats of the unwary As the red, red, spill of blood is flowing It crosses the burdens we must carry
As All else pales whilst the moon lives
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Post by AssortedCookies on May 29, 2004 0:08:26 GMT -5
Thank you! Did you write that poem? I only ask because it's so great and perfect, hard to believe some famous poet didn't write it. It's odd that everybody likes You Save My Life-I Hate You, since it took the least time to write, and I think it is the shortest. Anyway, I wrote a couple more today because I was feeling unhappy. Stupidity Nothing could be worse than this pain besets my heart oblivion would be better than this Nothing could be worse than this Why don't I want to heal? Inside Out Inside- Bitter churning Hopeless lashing of emotions I cannot identify Bubbling up and filling every atom Outside- Vapid smile Perfectly sincere Sincerely perfect Radiating joy Turn me inside out
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Post by SnicketFires on May 30, 2004 19:07:59 GMT -5
Did you write that poem? I only ask because it's so great and perfect, hard to believe some famous poet didn't write it. Stupidity Nothing could be worse than this pain besets my heart oblivion would be better than this Nothing could be worse than this Why don't I want to heal? Ya, I wrote it for 667 Idol. You think it's perfect? Thankees! I like Stupidity. P:
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Post by AssortedCookies on Jun 4, 2004 20:48:35 GMT -5
Yes, it is perfect. And thanks!
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Post by SnicketFires on Jun 5, 2004 22:18:09 GMT -5
No, no thank you. I look forward for more poetry from Cookies, or [insert real name here].
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