Post by Countess Mecilia on May 20, 2004 21:51:03 GMT -5
Alright, this is the prologue of a story that me and my comrades, Ryan and Claire are writing. The title is [obviously] Revenge. It's coming along pretty smoothly so far, so I thought I'd post the prologue, to see what you guys think of it. Please, PLEASE comment. We are working very hard on this story/novel[maybe], and the prologue [which I wrote myself] is one of the best parts... so far. So, please, please review it. This is probably rated PG-13 for violence, and such. So... enjoy the prologue of Revenge!
“Hello! I’m home from school!” Jane pushed the door to her house open. Jane had just gotten home from school, The Oakmont Elementary school. She was only a 3rd grader, so young and virgin that she had hardly ever thought of the concept of murder. But she would know of this concept soon. Unfortunately, she would know about it very, very soon.
Jane dropped her backpack on the ground. She flinched at the sound of the potato chips crunching loudly, as the back pack hit the ground. Her backpack wasn’t very heavy. There was not much in it, because it was the first day of 3rd grade. She looked around to find her parents, so she could share with them all the things that had happened on her first day.
“Is anyone here?” she called out, searching the house, but not finding anyone.
“Mom? Dad?” Jane’s parents had always been home waiting for her when she got home from school. But for some odd reason, she couldn’t find them today. Her gut instinct told her to leave, but she kept searching. When she finally found them, they were in her parents room. They were very close together, talking in hushed voices. As Jane stood outside the door, she strained her voice to hear what they were saying, but could only make out a few muffled words, from their worried tones of voices.
She walked into the room, one of her shoes squeaking as she stepped on the hardwood floor. At the sound, her parents cringed and quickly whipped around. Their eyes were wild with a mixture of fear and surprise.
“Oh, Jane. It’s you…” her mother whispered quietly, with a look of huge relief on her face. Her mother shot a furtive glance at her father, who heaved a huge sigh, and returned the look of relief.
Jane looked confused. Why had they looked do uptight? And why had they been relieved when they saw it was her? Had they not been expecting anyone to come in? Or… had they been expecting someone? Questions flooded through Jane’s mind. It seemed only fitting to ask what was happening.
“Mommy?” she asked “Daddy? Why are you guys looking so-” but she was cut off mid-sentence by her mother.
“Honey,” her mother said hurriedly, “Pack up your things. Put them in one suitcase, and meet us in the car. Hurry. It’s urgent that we get out.” And with that, her mother open a drawer of her own, pulling out a few pairs of pants, and a shirt or two, and stuffing them into a small plastic trash bag she found near the bed stand.
Jane knew that it was best not to question what ever her mother told her to do, but she still was left blank and unanswered. When her mother turned around, and saw that she had not yet left, her eyes filled with anger, and some fear.
“Go. Now!” She yelled, her voice wavering a bit. Jane needed no more instructions. She ran down the stairs to her room. Grabbing a small suitcase she owned, she jogged to her dresser. She fit all the necessary clothes she could into the case. When she figured that she had everything, she ran to the pink, flower-decorated door of her room. But just as she got to the door, she heard another door burst open from the outside. And she knew for a fact that both her parents were inside.
“Oh my god!” she heard her mother scream, “They’re here!”.
Jane pressed herself against the frame of the door, trying to see if she could catch a glimpse of the person bursting into her home. But she did not see a person. She saw people. Many of them. All pouring into her home, one after the other. Jane gasped, but quickly covered her mouth, hoping that they wouldn’t hear her.
She watched as her mother ran down the stairs, coming face to face with another woman on the stairs. This woman had on a long trench coat. The woman had wild-looking brown hair that fell down to her shoulders.
“She’s a friend, she’s a friend…” Jane thought to herself over and over. “She doesn’t want to harm my mother, she’s here to visit.” But deep inside, Jane knew it was a lie. A woman that looked this ominous could not be a friend of her mother’s. But who was she?
Before Jane could think anymore, she got her answer. The woman in the large trench coat pulled out not one, but two swords. With that, she pulled the swords back, bracing for the blow. And with one smooth motion, she plunged one of the large swords into her mother’s stomach. The other sword, which was watched by Jane’s terrified eyes, plunged into her head. Jane shivered, and stood in shock and fear as she watched her mother drop to the floor of the stairs. The girl in the coat gave her mother a swift kick, and she rolled down the stairs.
The woman gave a little laugh, and headed up the stairs. Jane’s father waited atop the staircase, also in morbid awe of what he had just seen. He was taken advantage of, in this moment of surprise, however. A large man with a shotgun trudged up the stairs. He was quite slow, but since Jane’s father was paralyzed with fear and rage, he didn’t move a muscle. The man, who was now almost right next to her father pulled the shotgun up, and aimed it straight at his head. Jane flinched, for she instantly knew what would happen next. She closed her eyes, right as the deafening bang shattered the air.
Of this moment, Jane was an orphan. A poor, defenseless, parentless 9 year old, with no clue of what was going on. Jane finally stepped back into her room, silently closing the door behind her. She could still hear the voices outside her room. They were talking, and whispering, and… yes, laughing. Each laugh that one of the men or women uttered was like a knife being driven into her heart. Of all the ways to die… and then to be laughed at?! It sickened her, greatly.
Jane dropped to her knees on the carpet of her room. She couldn’t believe that all this had just happened. And she had watched it. And possibly… she could have stopped it. But she was only a child. She couldn’t stop the brutal murder of her parents. She couldn’t stop it anymore than she could stop the hot, salty tears which were now flowing down her face. How could her life have gone from so good, to so utterly horrific in so short a time?
But she knew the answer. It was them… these people who had turned her life upside down. But she could do nothing. She did not have the power of turning back time. She wished, oh how she wished that she did. But she didn’t, and that thought was the scariest of all thoughts. How cruel the passing of time was.
Jane stayed, curled up in a fetal position. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. She simply sat there, wish she was in another time, and at another place. Though she knew that she could simply jump out the window with her suitcase, go somewhere, anywhere but here, she knew she couldn’t. She was still in shock. And try as she might, she couldn’t will her stubborn, weeping body to move.
Prologue
“Hello! I’m home from school!” Jane pushed the door to her house open. Jane had just gotten home from school, The Oakmont Elementary school. She was only a 3rd grader, so young and virgin that she had hardly ever thought of the concept of murder. But she would know of this concept soon. Unfortunately, she would know about it very, very soon.
Jane dropped her backpack on the ground. She flinched at the sound of the potato chips crunching loudly, as the back pack hit the ground. Her backpack wasn’t very heavy. There was not much in it, because it was the first day of 3rd grade. She looked around to find her parents, so she could share with them all the things that had happened on her first day.
“Is anyone here?” she called out, searching the house, but not finding anyone.
“Mom? Dad?” Jane’s parents had always been home waiting for her when she got home from school. But for some odd reason, she couldn’t find them today. Her gut instinct told her to leave, but she kept searching. When she finally found them, they were in her parents room. They were very close together, talking in hushed voices. As Jane stood outside the door, she strained her voice to hear what they were saying, but could only make out a few muffled words, from their worried tones of voices.
She walked into the room, one of her shoes squeaking as she stepped on the hardwood floor. At the sound, her parents cringed and quickly whipped around. Their eyes were wild with a mixture of fear and surprise.
“Oh, Jane. It’s you…” her mother whispered quietly, with a look of huge relief on her face. Her mother shot a furtive glance at her father, who heaved a huge sigh, and returned the look of relief.
Jane looked confused. Why had they looked do uptight? And why had they been relieved when they saw it was her? Had they not been expecting anyone to come in? Or… had they been expecting someone? Questions flooded through Jane’s mind. It seemed only fitting to ask what was happening.
“Mommy?” she asked “Daddy? Why are you guys looking so-” but she was cut off mid-sentence by her mother.
“Honey,” her mother said hurriedly, “Pack up your things. Put them in one suitcase, and meet us in the car. Hurry. It’s urgent that we get out.” And with that, her mother open a drawer of her own, pulling out a few pairs of pants, and a shirt or two, and stuffing them into a small plastic trash bag she found near the bed stand.
Jane knew that it was best not to question what ever her mother told her to do, but she still was left blank and unanswered. When her mother turned around, and saw that she had not yet left, her eyes filled with anger, and some fear.
“Go. Now!” She yelled, her voice wavering a bit. Jane needed no more instructions. She ran down the stairs to her room. Grabbing a small suitcase she owned, she jogged to her dresser. She fit all the necessary clothes she could into the case. When she figured that she had everything, she ran to the pink, flower-decorated door of her room. But just as she got to the door, she heard another door burst open from the outside. And she knew for a fact that both her parents were inside.
“Oh my god!” she heard her mother scream, “They’re here!”.
Jane pressed herself against the frame of the door, trying to see if she could catch a glimpse of the person bursting into her home. But she did not see a person. She saw people. Many of them. All pouring into her home, one after the other. Jane gasped, but quickly covered her mouth, hoping that they wouldn’t hear her.
She watched as her mother ran down the stairs, coming face to face with another woman on the stairs. This woman had on a long trench coat. The woman had wild-looking brown hair that fell down to her shoulders.
“She’s a friend, she’s a friend…” Jane thought to herself over and over. “She doesn’t want to harm my mother, she’s here to visit.” But deep inside, Jane knew it was a lie. A woman that looked this ominous could not be a friend of her mother’s. But who was she?
Before Jane could think anymore, she got her answer. The woman in the large trench coat pulled out not one, but two swords. With that, she pulled the swords back, bracing for the blow. And with one smooth motion, she plunged one of the large swords into her mother’s stomach. The other sword, which was watched by Jane’s terrified eyes, plunged into her head. Jane shivered, and stood in shock and fear as she watched her mother drop to the floor of the stairs. The girl in the coat gave her mother a swift kick, and she rolled down the stairs.
The woman gave a little laugh, and headed up the stairs. Jane’s father waited atop the staircase, also in morbid awe of what he had just seen. He was taken advantage of, in this moment of surprise, however. A large man with a shotgun trudged up the stairs. He was quite slow, but since Jane’s father was paralyzed with fear and rage, he didn’t move a muscle. The man, who was now almost right next to her father pulled the shotgun up, and aimed it straight at his head. Jane flinched, for she instantly knew what would happen next. She closed her eyes, right as the deafening bang shattered the air.
Of this moment, Jane was an orphan. A poor, defenseless, parentless 9 year old, with no clue of what was going on. Jane finally stepped back into her room, silently closing the door behind her. She could still hear the voices outside her room. They were talking, and whispering, and… yes, laughing. Each laugh that one of the men or women uttered was like a knife being driven into her heart. Of all the ways to die… and then to be laughed at?! It sickened her, greatly.
Jane dropped to her knees on the carpet of her room. She couldn’t believe that all this had just happened. And she had watched it. And possibly… she could have stopped it. But she was only a child. She couldn’t stop the brutal murder of her parents. She couldn’t stop it anymore than she could stop the hot, salty tears which were now flowing down her face. How could her life have gone from so good, to so utterly horrific in so short a time?
But she knew the answer. It was them… these people who had turned her life upside down. But she could do nothing. She did not have the power of turning back time. She wished, oh how she wished that she did. But she didn’t, and that thought was the scariest of all thoughts. How cruel the passing of time was.
Jane stayed, curled up in a fetal position. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. She simply sat there, wish she was in another time, and at another place. Though she knew that she could simply jump out the window with her suitcase, go somewhere, anywhere but here, she knew she couldn’t. She was still in shock. And try as she might, she couldn’t will her stubborn, weeping body to move.