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Post by Hermedy on Jul 24, 2009 16:37:10 GMT -5
Emma, I finally got around to reading your draft properly. It's very good, but could you make it shorter? I wanted something very punchy that will grab attention, rather than a long letter that people with short attention spans may ignore.
Thanks.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Jul 24, 2009 16:46:21 GMT -5
Sure thing, Tragedy, and thanks. I was actually worried about it not being long enough. Anyway, I'll get right on fixing it up. *EDIT* Okay, here is the shortened version. If there's anything anyone feels should be put back and to remove something else, then let me know. *** Greetings, all you in (and out) people! It is I, Esmé Gigi Genevieve Squalor: the city’s sixth most important financial advisor and most fashionable person in the world. I have taken time out of my busy and very demanding schedule at Mulctuary Money Management to inform you of the most smashing news since pinstripe suits and parsley soda: and that is for my fellow villains volunteers and me to cordially invite you to gather with us in our community of 667 Dark Avenue. Even the outest person is welcome to join, and so there’s no need to be shy or even hesitate. Though even if you are lucky enough to be in, you can never hope to achieve the inness that I possess, so don’t get your hopes up. If you ever decide to drop by the penthouse for a visit with me and my fashionably inept husband, you’ll be well advised to take the stairs. Because elevators are now out, I’ve undergone the task of having them permanently removed from the lobby— or however long it takes before they’re back in. Yours Truly, Esmé Gigi Genevieve Squalor
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Post by Hermedy on Jul 30, 2009 9:16:52 GMT -5
Okay, I've made a few minor changes. I think it's ready to go. Greetings, all you in (and out) people! It is I, Esmé Gigi Genevieve Squalor: the city’s sixth most important financial advisor and the most fashionable person in the world. I have taken time out of my very demanding schedule at Mulctuary Money Management to announce the most smashing news since pinstripe suits and parsley soda. My fellow volunteers and I cordially invite you to 667 Dark Avenue. Even the outest person is welcome to join, and so there’s no need to hesitate. Besides, even if you are lucky enough to be in, you can never hope to achieve the inness that I possess. If you decide to drop by the penthouse for a visit with me and my fashionably inept husband, I advise you to take the stairs. Since elevators are now out, I’ve had them permanently removed from the building. To visit 667 Dark Avenue, go to www.asoue.proboards.com. Yours Truly, Esmé Gigi Genevieve Squalor Okay?
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Jul 30, 2009 9:42:43 GMT -5
Looks good to me.
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Post by Hermedy on Jul 30, 2009 9:44:53 GMT -5
Okay... Can you try it out on a group now? You can pick one.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Jul 30, 2009 10:36:36 GMT -5
Okay, I posted it on the wall of A Series of Unfortunate Events. Out of all the groups I browsed through, they have the most members and have recently been active.
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Post by Hermedy on Jul 30, 2009 10:45:31 GMT -5
Great. You can continue to post invitations in other groups and fan pages at will, but please keep track of what you've done in this thread. Thanks for your help.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Jul 30, 2009 19:46:25 GMT -5
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 1, 2009 16:12:25 GMT -5
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 3, 2009 13:08:47 GMT -5
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 5, 2009 18:21:35 GMT -5
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 8, 2009 10:32:39 GMT -5
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 10, 2009 21:44:45 GMT -5
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Post by FIREBURST on Aug 12, 2009 9:37:20 GMT -5
maybe post it on Handlers wall for all asoue lovers to see
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Aug 13, 2009 11:32:30 GMT -5
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