A World Without Libraries

[Christmas Chief]

Handler performs an original song at the San Fransisco Public Library on his accordian.

thereadersreview.org/2012/06/without-libraries/

(Edit: I can't seem to embed the video here, so there's the link.)

Without Libraries, by Daniel Handler

SONG
We are born and we’re not smart
and our parents kinda try and do their part
But our brains, they need some facts
so our education starts in the public stacks

Chorus:
Without Libraries We’d be Dumb
We wouldn’t know our elbow, from our bum
Libraries are our Friends and we should take good care of them
Because without libraries we’d be D-U-M

Now when we’re teens, we start to sour
We have hormones but not a lot of power
And when there’s things, we want to know
We need a nice safe place where there isn’t any blow

YES!

Chorus:
Without Libraries We’d be Dumb
We wouldn’t know our elbow, from our bum
Libraries are our Friends and we should take good care of them
Because without libraries we’d be D-U-M

Then we’re adults and we’re in charge
And our egos can get a little large
We open our mouths, and words come out
But how can we make it seem, like we know what we’re talking about?

LIBRARIES!

Chorus:
Without Libraries We’d be Dumb
We wouldn’t know our elbow, from our bum
Libraries are our Friends and we should take good care of them
Because without libraries we’d be D-U-M

As we grow old, we might get dim
Even if we keep up at the gym
We lose our figures, we lose looks
But we’ll keep our smarts if we hang around with books

Chorus:
Without Libraries We’d be Dumb
We wouldn’t know our elbow, from our bum
Libraries are our Friends and we should take good care of them
Because without libraries we’d be D-U-M

And then we die, and that’s the end
At the funeral, there’ll be one loyal Friend
And he’ll get up, remove his cap
But where will he find a poem, that isn’t utter crap?

YES!

Chorus:
Without Libraries We’d be Dumb
We wouldn’t know our elbow, from our bum
Libraries are our Friends and we should take good care of them
Because without libraries we’d be D-U-M

[Hermes]

Jun 15, 2012 11:16:21 GMT -5 Christmas Chief said:

Handler performs an original song at the San Fransisco Public Library on his accordian.

thereadersreview.org/2012/06/without-libraries/

(Edit: I can't seem to embed the video here, so there's the link.)

Oh, lovely!

(Am I right in thinking the word 'bum' isn't much used in America, by the way?)

[Christmas Chief]

Jun 15, 2012 11:54:47 GMT -5 Hermes said:

(Am I right in thinking the word 'bum' isn't much used in America, by the way?)

It's used, but not quite in that context.

[Invisible]

I lol'd pretty hard XD Now I'll have that song stuck in my head for days.

[Kensicle]

That's a funny song. I especially liked the verse about adulthood.
"We open our mouths, and words come out
But how can we make it seem, like we know what we’re talking about?"

[A]

This reminds me of the old Roald Dahl (grrr, Firefox Australian Dictionary doesn't even know the name Roald) poems that I read when I was a lad. And about "bum", I think he uses "bum" instead of whatever the Americans say for "buttocks" for it to rhyme with dum or dumb.
I apologise if I make you say;
"We know that, Random Stranger!"

[Christmas Chief]

I was actually perplexed as to why he didn't use "thumb," since it better suits the rhyme.

[Kensicle]

I guess Handler just likes shocking people.

[ghostie]

I love this song, and it poses a very good point.

[Hermes]

Jun 17, 2012 5:44:03 GMT -5 Christmas Chief said:

I was actually perplexed as to why he didn't use "thumb," since it better suits the rhyme.

There is actually an old expression 'you cannot tell your a*** from your elbow', meaning you are thick.

[Christmas Chief]

Ah, I see. So understandably rhyme is secondary to idiomatic irony.

(By the way, am I missing the reason the lyrics on the webpage (reposted here) are seemingly inconsistent in their capitalization?)

[Skelly Craig]

I love Daniel Handler for being Daniel Handler and doing things like these. : D

[Christmas Chief]

Another variation here, with special effects by Maria Kalman.

[feryl]

Oh my, that was brilliant and quite funny. Very witty lyrics that ring in quite a message... well done, Mr. Handler.