10: The Stranger“If anyone has a reason why these two should not be wed,” BSam said hoarsely, “let them speak now or forever hold their peace...”
Everybody turned to look toward the back of the church, expecting somebody to speak up. A few seconds passed in silence before there came an ear-splitting crash from the altar. By the time everybody had gathered their senses and turned back to face the bride and groom the massive stained glass window had shattered into a million pieces, leaving a gaping hole in the wall. At its base a man in black stood with his face covered by a hood, a rope around his waist.
“Wait,” the stranger said. “Did anyone even see my grand entrance?”
There was some awkward shuffling from the pews. A couple of people coughed.
“If you want to try it again, we can act surprised,” Songbird called out from the crowd.
“But I only brought one rope,” the stranger sighed, “and the best part was the window shattering.”
“Try again! Try again! Try again!” Shelly clapped, trying and failing to start a chant.
The man in black lowered his hooded head, looking dejected.
The doors at the back of the church burst open, causing everybody to swivel around once again. Three men entered wearing identical clothes, a logo of an eye surrounded by the letters DANTE on their sleeves.
“She was last seen wearing a trenchcoat, sunglasses and a hat,” one man said.
“There!” another said, pointing. “I can see her!”
“We’ve got you now, Agent L,” said the third man, lifting Bandit out of his seat. “Did you really think you’d lose us?”
“Is this about the gum?” Bandit whimpered. “I’m so sorry!”
“You will be sorry if you don’t tell us where to find the Tin Diagrams,” the first man replied as the others escorted Bandit outside. “Carry on, folks. We apologise for the interruption.”
Linda shrunk down in her seat, lucky to be alive.
As soon as the doors had shut they burst open again.
“Nobody move!” the intruders commanded. “We are the FBI!”
BSam fidgeted at his collar, thinking he had been busted for fraud. Pen dropped his iPod and kicked it across the floor, half out of guilt and half out of shame. The bridesmaids went pale, realising they had forgotten to pay their staggering hotel bill. Willis had pictures of him and Duck playing together in case he was charged with animal cruelty. Betsy ate some popcorn, thoroughly entertained and thankful that she was finally just sitting still.
The FBI pulled a kicking and screaming Lucas from his seat and left without any explanation. Everybody let out a sigh of relief.
“Enough of this madness!” Sixteen bellowed, grabbing BSam. “Marry us! Come on!”
“Do you, Anka Madita, take this man to be –“
“Not so fast,” Anka said, reaching beneath the folds of her wedding dress.
She pulled out two rapiers, one in each hand, and walked across the altar to join the man in black. She handed him a sword and they rounded on Sixteen.
“Anka, my love,” Sixteen said. “What are you doing?”
“Cut the crap,” Anka shot back, “I know you never loved me. You were just jealous of the fortune my family made for itself. You’re not the only one with friends in high places, you know.”
“That’s right,” the stranger roared, pulling back his hood, “for, you see, it is I! Mister M!”
The crowd shuffled awkwardly, clearly unsurprised.
“Seriously? Nothing?” Mister M asked.
“Try again! Try again! Try again!” Shelly chanted again, though she stopped quickly.
Sixteen pulled a dagger from his shoe and lunged across the altar, stabbing at Mister M, who blocked his attack easily. Anka danced away and sliced her sword through the air. It caught a streamer that was supporting a flower arrangement. The flowerpot swung and smacked Sixteen across the face. He flew into the aisle, slumped on his back. Mister M jumped down and brought his sword smashing to the floor but Sixteen rolled aside just in time. He grabbed a candle and threw it at Mister M who caught fire. With a few deft slashes, however, he removed the sections of his cloak which were alight and revealed his bulging muscles underneath. Anka swooned, giving Sixteen the chance to take a run at her. He jabbed his dagger in her direction but she performed a flawless backward somersault that landed her back at Mister M’s side and landed her enemy flat on his face. Sixteen lay defeated on the altar, surrendering. The crowd whooped and cheered with joy.
Once the police had taken Sixteen away, everybody sat down and watched BSam perform the ceremony for Anka and Mister M. There were a few tears shed, though they were the happy sort of tears. Mister M took his wife by the hand and walked her down the aisle. Together they had planned the whole thing, but this was only the beginning. With the artifact, they would be able to spend the rest of their lives safe from the outside world, for they had hidden the Tin Diagrams in Madita’s ring.
Willis opened the door of the limo for Anka and her husband.
“Where next?” he asked.
“Home,” she answered, with her whole heart. “Let’s go home.”
THE END