|
Post by Dante on Dec 31, 2018 12:31:56 GMT -5
Much of this chapter is, necessarily, Sunny doing the same things as she did in canon, but she approaches it by a different route; and I like your interpretation of "Tired," too. The riffs on the Denouement triplets' names at the end are a great addition; Sirius, perhaps?
|
|
|
Post by Foxy on Jan 1, 2019 18:54:12 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
We learned the manager is Dewey Denouement. He said V.F.D. has smoke and mirrors. “Smoke?” I asked, which meant, “Isn’t smoking bad for your health?”
Dewey said he and his brothers were taken on their fifth birthday. “Taken by whom?” I asked, using a fancy and grammatically correct word I had just learned that afternoon from the scared lady in room 415.
Dewey said the world is wicked, but very soon things are going to change. “Thursday,” I said, referring to my new friend I made this afternoon. The world is not so bad. You can always find kind people in it.
Dewey said he was hiding all the information he has discovered in a place as big as the hotel. “Aha!” I said, which meant, “This pond is as big as the hotel!”
Then Dewey told us we could stay at the hotel with him, and how he had heard wonderful things about my cooking. “Efcharisto,” I said, which meant, “I can open up a restaurant in room 480.” I recently found a recipe for tzatziki I have been wanting to try.
Klaus pointed out all the bad things we have done lately, but Dewey said we are noble enough. We had a group hug, and then some more people from our past showed up, Justice Strauss and Jerome Squalor. “J.S.!” I cried, which meant, “Not one, but two J.S.s!”
Everyone talked, and Dewey mentioned the Medusoid Mycelium. “Mycelium?” I eventually got to asked, which meant, “You know about those party mushrooms?” I had a flashback to when I almost died. Never again will I talk to mushrooms!
Dewey and Justice Strauss started talking in legal terms. “Verdict?” I asked, which meant, “Will Count Olaf finally face judgment?” This sounds too good to be true.
The adults took us back to the hotel, and Count Olaf was there.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 8 of The Penultimate Peril.]
|
|
|
Post by Foxy on Jan 2, 2019 11:05:22 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
Violet, Klaus, and I got into a debate with Count Olaf about who had more friends. “Hal,” I said, which meant, “I think Hal knows you set his library on fire, and not us.” I actually started to feel bad for Count Olaf. He doesn’t really have friends. Hooky ditched him, so he doesn’t even have any of his original henchmen left. All he has is a girlfriend who wears ridiculous clothing and an annoying adopted daughter.
Count Olaf tried to tell us there are no noble people in the world. “Our parents,” I said fiercely, which meant, “Mommy and Daddy were noble.” I wonder if they would want me to be friends with Count Olaf. Maybe he needs a good influence.
Then Esmé and Carmelita showed up along with Hugo, who was wearing a large baggy robe, Colette, who was dressed as a mad scientist, and the ugly washerwoman from the laundry room. It turned out the ugly washerwoman was Kevin! It is too bad he is the henchman I came across, because he is the only one I could not recognize. It seems everyone had been doing treacherous things. Violet gave Carmelita a harpoon gun. Klaus hung bird paper out of a window. Hugo, Colette, and Kevin all spied on us. “Galimatias!” I cried, which meant, “Am I the only noble person in this lobby?”
Esmé threatened the third manager, calling him Frank and Ernest. “Dewey,” I said.
Then I found out some juicy gossip. Uncle Monty’s sugar bowl used to belong to Esmé, and Mommy stole it from Esmé! I wonder why she did that.
Then Carmelita and Count Olaf got into a fight about spitting, and then Count Olaf got into a fight with Esmé. I wish I would have had some carrots to snack on, because this was better than watching a soap opera. Count Olaf and Esmé broke up, Count Olaf threatened Dewey with a harpoon gun, and Justice Strauss admitted she used to steal horses. The adults did absolutely nothing to stop Count Olaf from harpooning Dewey, so Violet, Klaus, and I stood between Count Olaf and Dewey. I told Count Olaf to put his gun down. I even asked him nicely, saying, “Please.”
I looked into Count Olaf’s shiny eyes. He looked lion-like with anger, so I spoke to him in lion-ese. “La Forza del Destino,” I said, but this seemed to make him even angrier.
You know how Mr. Poe never does anything even remotely useful? He came into the lobby coughing, and Count Olaf pushed the harpoon gun at us, but we dropped it.
I am feeling very sad, Dairy. Our new friend, Dewey, was struck by the penultimate harpoon in the gun. “Denouement!” I cried, which meant, “But we just met you!” This is the shortest amount of time we have spent with a guardian yet.
We went out to find Dewey in the pond. “We failed you,” I said, but Dewey shook his head. He said Kit’s name, and then I realized the baby had lost one of his or her parents already. At least I got to know my Daddy.
Maybe, Dairy, I have things to be thankful for.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 9 of The Penultimate Peril.]
|
|
|
Post by Dante on Jan 2, 2019 13:57:07 GMT -5
I've been out a couple of days to watch Season 3, so I'm only just catching up to these. I really enjoyed Sunny's remark about wishing she had some snack food while watching Olaf fight with his companions. "The adults did absolutely nothing" - story of Sunny's life, huh. But it's nice that she's able to find some goodness in dark moments, thoughout this pair of chapters.
|
|
|
Post by Foxy on Jan 3, 2019 11:32:08 GMT -5
I am waiting to watch season 3 with my husband. When he finishes reading TE, we are going to watch the whole series together. Dear Dairy, All sorts of voices called out from the hotel saying all sorts of things. We started to talk to them, but then decided to keep quiet to protect Dewey’s secret library. Eventually, the mob started talking about us. “Mob psychology,” I said, which meant, “The King of Arizona warned me about this.” Violet was concerned we really were murderers. “Poppycock!” I said firmly, which meant, “If anything, this is Mr. Poe’s fault.” Then I added, “Accident!” which meant, “Is his cough an accident?” I am finding it hard to believe someone would chronically have a cough and be able to survive this long. Klaus said Dewey dying was our fault. “Partially,” I had to concede. Klaus thought maybe we should run. “Run?” I asked. I am getting pretty good at walking, but I have not had the same running experience as Violet and Klaus when Count Olaf made us do track practice. That seems like ages ago. I wonder how Roger and his family are doing. Violet wanted to stay at the hotel, and Klaus wanted to run. “Torn,” I said, which meant, “I wish I would have torn Mr. Poe’s handkerchief away from him to inspect it.” I think Mr. Poe is hiding something. No one has that terrible of timing or is that much of an imbecile. Then a man smoking a cigarette asked us if we needed a taxi. A fresh start was just what I felt we needed at this point, but Klaus and Violet did not seem so sure. The man smelled like a citrus fruit, and he leaned toward us to ask if we were who he thought we were. “We don’t no,” I said finally, which meant, “A Baudelaire never turns down an adventure!” I was all set to get in the man’s taxi when Mr. Poe showed up. He started accusing us of shooting Dewey. “Henribergson,” I tried to tell Violet and Klaus, which meant, “I think our immediate experience should be getting in the taxi with the fruit man,” but Mr. Poe pushed us inside. When I looked back, the man was driving our getaway vehicle away from the hotel without us in it. I bet he is going to have all sorts of adventures, and we are just stuck at the hotel with Mr. Poe. Once we were in the lobby, the crowd had assembled and was shouting all sorts of things about us. Justice Strauss stopped the crowd and had either Frank or Ernest lock us in one room, and Ernest or Frank locked Count Olaf in another room. “We’re sorry,” I said to the manager, although I don’t see how he would forgive us if he thought we killed his brother. Violet and Klaus started talking about the trial and if the villains would be brought to justice. I was feeling philosophical. “Olaf,” I asked, “or us?” [This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 10 of The Penultimate Peril.]
|
|
|
Post by Dante on Jan 3, 2019 13:43:10 GMT -5
Interesting that Sunny is so gung-ho to get in the taxi; whether or not it would really have been a better idea is up for debate, but the Baudelaires do eventually choose the unknown over the devil they know. "We don't no" is a stretch, but a funny one; what I like about it is that strictly speaking it diverges from the original text, but as the original statement in question was probably made to Mr. Snicket in person, we can speculate that he misheard and subsequently mistranscribed it.
|
|
|
Post by Foxy on Jan 4, 2019 10:06:29 GMT -5
Dear Dairy,
Frank or Ernest gave us blindfolds to wear during the trial. I thought of Justice Strauss, sitting on the High Court and presiding over our case, and I remembered the time spent with her in her garden. “Scalia,” I said, which meant, “Justice Strauss worked hard at tending her garden and keeping the weeds out.” I thought about a part of the garden I had not spent much time in because its contents were soft, but I wondered how her olives and grapes were doing. “Unfathomable,” I said, which meant, “I cannot believe I am thinking about soft foods at a time like this.” My world is changing, Dairy.
Violet said the High Court may be helpful. “Or fail us,” I said, which meant, “Justice Strauss told me in her garden that the two other members of the high court were always siding against her.”
Finally, I decided to mention the elephant in the room. “Mama and Poppa,” I said hesitantly, “and poison darts?”
But one of the managers came back before we could discuss anything, and he took us to the trial.
We all had to stand up and say our names and jobs. “Sunny Baudelaire,” I said, and then later I said, “Child.” This exempts me from having an occupation, although I do like all the moonlighting I have been doing for the past several months in several occupations.
Then Justice Strauss said something curious. She said no one was innocent. I thought about this for a while. It seemed everyone had evidence to submit, and then Count Olaf gave his testimony, which at the very least proved he cannot spell. “Bildungroman,” I said, which meant, “I know I am rather young to have strong opinions, but I believe everyone is innocent until proven guilty.” But then I heard Justice Strauss saying, “Hmm,” which I recognized as something I had said myself, which meant, “Someone is putting a piece of tape over my mouth!”
Violet asked what we should do. “Peek,” I whispered back, which meant, “I have a confession; I cheated all those times we used to play hide-and-seek before our home burned down.”
We took our blindfolds off, and we saw the scary people sitting at our concierge desk. I am only a young girl, but I am pretty sure it is a conflict of interests to have your siblings preside over your trial.
Meanwhile, Justice Strauss is being kidnapped by Count Olaf.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 11 of The Penultimate Peril.]
|
|
|
Post by Dante on Jan 4, 2019 13:12:19 GMT -5
I don't recall if the original text ever used the phrase, "the elephant in the room" - but if not, it should have, and with your animal-heavy version of the narrative you were quite correct to include it. A clever piece of background on how the High Court interact as a group, too.
|
|
|
Post by Foxy on Jan 5, 2019 10:15:12 GMT -5
I had sneaked that into TBB and could not resist bringing it up again.
Dear Dairy,
Violet, Klaus, and I tried to get everyone to take off their blindfolds. “Peek!” I cried, which meant, “Hide-and-seek is a lot more fun if you cheat!” Then you know where everyone is hiding, and you can sneak up on them and scare them.
Count Olaf’s brother said we were trying to trick everyone. “Real McCoy!” I yelled, which meant, “Don’t listen to Count Olaf’s siblings; they probably like pop music as much as Count Olaf does!”
Everyone kept shouting, and I took note that Mr. Remora continued to stand up for us. I made a mental note to send him a crate of bananas once we got out of this mess. Where am I going to find that many bananas? Maybe I can start a banana farm on an island somewhere.
Everyone kept shouting mostly nonsense, so Violet, Klaus, and I decided to save Justice Strauss ourselves. Count Olaf almost escaped with her, but I stuck my foot between the doors of the elevator to stop them from closing all the way, which is something I have always wanted to do, but I have never worn shoes before working at this hotel. Then Count Olaf blabbed his evil scheme about poisoning everyone at the hotel with the mushroom party helmet. I started thinking of a way to stop him. “You’ll fail,” I said, which meant, “I will come up with a plan to save the day.”
Count Olaf took us to the laundry room and said he could open the lock. He said you can find anything in a library as long as you have one thing. “Catalog?” I asked, which meant, “A cat balancing on a log?” I still don’t understand how that would be helpful.
Count Olaf used a wrong French saying. “Denouement,” I corrected, but I started to wonder if maybe our parents had been kind to Count Olaf while they were still alive, maybe our home would not have been burned down.
Klaus decided to help Count Olaf open the laundry room. “Klaus!” Violet and I said in astonishment. We don’t generally help Count Olaf perform evil deeds.
Klaus typed in the first answer into the lock, and then Count Olaf almost started misspelling the next answer. Where did this guy go to school?
Anyway, Count Olaf told us his parents were killed by poison darts.
Kit gave our parents poison darts one night at the opera. I think we know what they did with them. But that can’t be right. Justice isn’t murdering someone yourself, although I can’t imagine Count Olaf’s parents were particularly good people if Count Olaf is their offspring. I am having a hard time figuring out what happened. “Why do this?” I asked, which meant, “Why would our parents use poison darts on someone?”
Klaus opened the laundry room door, but the sugar bowl was not in there.
Then Violet said she would help Count Olaf get the boat he had off the roof. “Violet!” Klaus and I said in astonishment. I started thinking to myself. If Klaus and Violet were both helping Count Olaf, maybe I should think of a way to help him, too. Maybe if Count Olaf had friends, he would be a less villainous person. Violet went into the laundry room. “Why do this?” I asked, which meant, “Why are you stealing dirty bed sheets?” This is what being on the run has led us to do. Steal dirty laundry.
Count Olaf said to come along with him, and I thought hard to myself. What does Count Olaf like doing? How can I be his friend? And, perhaps most importantly, how can I stop him from releasing the party mushrooms on everyone at the hotel? “Not yet,” I said, thinking of something. “One more thing.”
Count Olaf asked what the one more thing could be.
“Burn down hotel,” I said.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 12 of The Penultimate Peril.]
|
|
|
Post by Dante on Jan 5, 2019 12:51:33 GMT -5
I like the way the chapter leads into Sunny attempting to morally rationalise events. She's still innocent enough to expect an explanation she can understand for every grim deed, and tries to be a positive influence in herself. I also wonder if her very clear emphasis on the sinister duo as Olaf's siblings is perhaps because she can relate to being the youngest sibling.
|
|
|
Post by Foxy on Jan 6, 2019 13:47:14 GMT -5
I had never given the birth order a thought before, but I like that conjecture.
Dear Dairy,
Count Olaf seemed pleased about getting to start a fire. Violet and Klaus thought I was sick, but I insisted I was healthy. Then Count Olaf complimented me and said I was better than Carmelita. I feel kind of happy with myself.
Count Olaf told us to start the fire in the laundry room. Violet and Klaus were very concerned about burning down the building, but I remembered the sign about taking the stairs instead of the elevator. We could go up the stairs and tell everyone to escape from the hotel, plus it would take Count Olaf too long to walk up all the stairs to get the mushroom party helmet from the roof and come back down to infect the hotel guests. See? I was already a good influence on Count Olaf, and he did not even know it yet.
Count Olaf showed us how to start a fire, and then he burned Jerome’s book. “Oh,” I said, which meant, “Perhaps becoming Count Olaf’s friend in an attempt to teach him common decency is a little more outside the realm of possibility than I thought.” You know, my prefrontal cortex really isn’t developed yet, so sometimes my decision-making is a little sketchy.
We got to the elevator, and I tried to explain to Count Olaf that we needed to take the stairs. The unfortunate thing about villains is they aren’t really interested in following rules, even when the rules are for their own personal safety. “Drat,” I said quietly, which meant, “Looks like I am going to need to come up with another plan.” Surely Mommy or Daddy must have taught me something to get us out of this situation. And then it came to me. “Preludio,” I said to Violet and Klaus, which meant, “I think it is time to pull an undignified prank on Count Olaf.” Violet and Klaus knew immediately what I had in mind.
When we got into the elevator, we pressed all the buttons! Count Olaf got upset because he couldn’t get the mushroom party helmet in time, and Justice Strauss was happy we could be fire alarms. “Dual purpose,” I said, which meant, “Maybe Daddy taught us that trick to annoy the woman in the elevator and because he thought it would help us stop a villain one day.”
We stopped at every floor, warning people about the fire. On the third floor, I cried out instructions. “Fire! Use stairs. Do not use elevator!” It turned out Mr. Poe was on that floor, and even after Justice Strauss told him to leave, he still didn’t listen. Mr. Poe, utterly impractical to the end.
We made it to the roof, and the building started to shake. Violet, Klaus, and I decided we needed to make our getaway. I scraped my teeth together, thinking about how many times I had used them to get us out of one mishap after another. I bit Hooky’s fake hand. I bit Count Olaf’s fake peg leg. I sword-fought Dr. Orwell. I ate Vice Principal Nero’s candy when he wasn’t looking. I climbed an elevator shaft. I bit a crow fountain’s eye. I gave Violet a nice neck massage. I prepared a false spring dinner. I chewed lots of gum. But sometimes it felt as though my tooth sharpness was giving way to another skill.
“Spatulas as oars,” I said, which meant, “I wouldn’t use those spatulas for food anymore since they were used to flip people, but they may come in handy as rowing utensils.” At least until I can get them properly cleaned. Then I can use them to flip giant burgers!
Klaus started talking about Fiona. “No,” I said, which meant, “She almost let me die in the mushroom party helmet, so I would rather not see her again.”
Violet had pointed out that the mushroom party helmet was attached to the boat. “The fire,” I said, which meant, “I think we should throw the mushroom party helmet into the fire.” But would the mushrooms die, or would their toxins just get released into the air? I don’t know.
Violet and Klaus drew the conclusion that I had set the fire to signal our friends. I nodded. “The last safe place is safe no more,” I said, which meant, “Yes, that was my plan all along.” Sometimes it is best to go along with whatever Violet and Klaus say.
Violet said we killed a man. “Accident,” I said, which meant, “I still find that event to be more Mr. Poe’s fault than ours.” If he would just go to the doctor for his cough, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.
Violet and Klaus continued to lament the things we had done, and although I tried to encourage them, I really wasn’t so sure. Count Olaf got on board with us, but Justice Strauss did not. “What else can we do?” I asked, but even I knew that was a pretty lame excuse for running away from the scene of a crime.
Justice Strauss tried to stop us. “Good-bye,” I said, and I bit her, tasting the sweet maple syrup flavor I had tasted so long ago. Justice Strauss really laid some groundwork for the chef I have become, and I am very sad we have left her.
We toppled off the roof, and Count Olaf handed me a spatula and said to start rowing.
Now we are on this boat with Count Olaf. Normally I would feel the thrill of exhilaration as we embark on a new adventure, but I am feeling pretty down about everything which happened at the Hotel Denouement.
To My Kind Editor,
Kikbucit?
Love,
Sunny Baudelaire
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 13 of The Penultimate Peril.]
|
|
|
Post by Dante on Jan 6, 2019 17:38:39 GMT -5
A fitting epitaph for Mr. Poe, I think. Though, "Sometimes it is best to go along with whatever Violet and Klaus say" feels like the hidden philosophy of this series... Sunny's narrative style is usually somewhat blithe about the events that are occurring to her, perhaps because they come with the distance of being written down in a diary later, but I liked that this chapter is still tinged with melancholy in places.
And now there's just one final book left. I can only applaud your dedication to this project; few authors of fanfiction are anything like as committed.
|
|
|
Post by Foxy on Jan 7, 2019 8:43:28 GMT -5
Thank you. When I started writing back in August, I didn't really know what was going to happen. I thought maybe I would stop around book 8, or when it got challenging to come up with alternative translations, but once I started TCC I really hit my second wind. It was fun to do this.
Dear Reader,
Beans.
Love,
Sunny Baudelaire
To Mommy –
I drank milk, you wore silk,
I will be of your ilk.
Dear Dairy,
We have been out at sea with Count Olaf for a little less than a day, and already of I am sick of his utter nonsense. “Beans,” I said, which meant, “I don’t think I want to share the rest of the beans with you.” A jar of beans is all we have to eat, and we are going to run out of them.
Count Olaf continued to say ridiculous things. “Beans,” I said. Then he insulted my cooking, if you can call serving plain white beans cooking.
I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself I wanted to have a good influence on Count Olaf since he has no friends. “Equivalent flotilla,” I said, which meant, “What we need is an armada.” Then we can float all over the world, collecting coconuts from all sorts of islands. This can be a sort of learning experience for Count Olaf. I can teach him how to ask nicely for coconuts.
Count Olaf decided to change the name of our boat, and Violet asked if I could catch some fish. “No bait,” I said, “and no net. Deep-sea dive?” I could definitely get on board with that plan! Or should I say overboard? Maybe I would find that enormous sea creature with whom I have been wanting to become friends. But I don’t know how to get the sea creature to swim to our location. “Unless,” I said, looking at Count Olaf and remembering the sea creature always seems to find Count Olaf wherever he went. “Push Olaf overboard,” I whispered, meaning, “We could use Count Olaf as bait.”
I know it’s not nice to use your friends as bait, but how often am I going to get a chance to make friends with an enormous sea creature? Violet and Klaus tried to decide whether or not to throw Count Olaf overboard. “Parents?” I asked, which meant, “Do you think Count Olaf’s parents ever taught him how to swim?” I wonder what Count Olaf’s parents were like, and if he loved them, and if they loved him. His siblings are pretty terrible people, so I can’t imagine his parents were a good influence.
Count Olaf got done renaming the boat, and Klaus reminded Count Olaf we needed nourishment. “Unless,” I started to say, which meant, “Unless you let us use you as bait,” but Count Olaf interrupted me. It is really challenging to be friends with someone so impolite.
Count Olaf said a storm was coming. “All overboard,” I said, which meant, “It looks like I may get to go on my deep-sea dive after all.”
Now the storm is heading straight for us. Bring it on.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 1 of The End.]
|
|
|
Post by Dante on Jan 7, 2019 9:08:27 GMT -5
I like the idea that the Great Unknown is in some way the crocodile to Olaf's Captain Hook; fitting, given that in a sense Olaf spends the whole series waiting to die. The discussion of bait and using people as it is also reminiscent of the Gothic Archies' song for the audiobook of The End: "What shall we do for bait? / Lend me a hand; / I'll sew it back on / when we get to land..."
|
|
|
Post by Foxy on Jan 8, 2019 9:51:56 GMT -5
I heard the song for the first time a couple years ago, somehow missing that audiobook when it first came out.
Dear Dairy,
The storm we experienced at sea was even more adrenaline-charged than riding a stolen sail boat during Hurricane Herman. Also, where did Count Olaf get a sailboat rental shop from?
Anyway, we are shipwrecked. “Land?” I asked, which meant, “Do you think there is any real estate for sale around here?” Maybe I can start a coffee bean farm here. “Don’t see,” I added, which meant, “I don’t see any for sale signs.” This got the gears in my brain turning. If the land doesn’t have a price tag, that means it’s free!
Klaus wanted to go on an expedition. “Already lost,” I pointed out, which meant, “We’ve already lost one member of our crew, so we should probably proceed with caution.” I am all about adventure, but there is no need to be reckless.
But then we found our missing crewmate. “Kikbucit?” I asked hopefully, but Count Olaf opened his eyes and asked where he was. “Coastal shelf,” I answered, thinking of the time Hooky decorated the lobby of 667 Dark Avenue to look like a beach.
We searched for land, and I got to ride of Violet’s shoulders and pretend to be a pirate. “Land ho!” I cried. Then we saw someone coming for us. “What?” I asked, which meant, “Is that a realtor?” Maybe I could barter with them for an ocean side plot of land. But then the person got a little closer. “Who?” I asked, which meant, “If that is not a realtor, who is it?”
Klaus and Violet tried to guess who it was. “Or the triplets?” I said, which meant, “Are we ever going to have a triple wedding?" Hmm. Maybe I am too young to get married.
Count Olaf said Violet was becoming an excellent henchperson after she told him not to use his last harpoon. “Poppycock,” I said, which meant, “I wish you would have dropped the harpoon gun when we were on the third floor of the hotel.” Then he would be out of harpoons, and a certain banker would have gotten what was coming to him.
The person came to us, and she was a girl named Friday. She looked like someone I knew, but I couldn’t remember who. Anyway, she said she was storm scavenging. “Storm scavawha?” I asked, which meant, “That sounds like loads of fun, may I please join you?”
Friday said she would take us to the island, and she told Count Olaf to go away.
Dairy, I miss Viper, but I think Friday is going to be a good friends.
[This section of The Sunny Baudelaire Diaries correlates with Chapter 2 of The End.]
|
|