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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 10, 2021 7:50:44 GMT -5
March 1st 2021
10:59
Daniel could feel his heart hammering in his chest, and he could almost hear the blood rushing in his ears even through the noise of the waves.
Beatrice had helped him climb up the side of the cliff face, where they had come to a metal grating. She had used the crowbar to pull the framework off, and they had then had to crawl of hand and knee through a narrow tunnel.
After about ten minutes the tunnel had widened enough that they could stand, and they now were stood, seemingly waiting.
‘This what was Mr. Snicket was investigating when he died.’ She told him. ‘It was a terrible thing, but sadly that seems to be the way of the world.’ Beatrice was holding the golden pocket watch, and the time was now 10:59.
It seemed odd to Daniel how at home she looked. Something about her clothes, her face, the way she held herself. She was comfortable here. This only made Daniel feel even more disturbed by everything.
He took the map back out of his pocket and began to look at it again. . He traced their route with his finger, and his suspicions were confirmed. ‘Why did we come this way? There are many other routes we could have taken to get here that didn’t involve us having to climb up the side of a cliff.’
Beatrice smiled ‘Well observed, Mr. Handler. We came this way because we may need an escape route.’
‘Escape route? Why would we need –‘
‘Sssh!’ Beatrice put a finger to her lips. ‘I can hear something.’
Daniel listened closely, and sure enough he could something in the distance. It sounded like a faint buzzing was coming from the far end of the sewer, and the more he listened the louder and louder the sound seemed to become.
Suddenly, the buzzing sound increased, which was joined by a new sound of rushing water, coming from the bowels of the city. The small layer of water on the ground was suddenly beginning to rise, and Daniel began to wonder if they were going to drown.
‘Don’t worry’ Beatrice shouted, over the increasing cacophony ‘The water shouldn't rise too high, and it will flow out the way we came if it does.’
The next second, the buzzing increased in volume and the ground began to shake. Daniel was thrown to the floor, and for moment it felt like the whole world was vibrating around him. The vibrating and the buzzing noise echoed through Daniel's skull so violently he thought he was going to explode.
Beatrice stood, facing the direction of the noise, a look of nervous excitement in her eyes. She was holding the watch in her hand, her arm outstretched. The hands were now showing 11:00, and a strange ink-like substance seemed to be emitting from the centre of the the hands, like blood from a wound. ‘I’m here’ she shouted.
The next moment, with a tremendous roar and a crash of water the Great Beast cascaded through the tunnel, coming to a halt mere millimetres in front of Beatrice's outstretched hand.
The creature was hard to make out, as it was as black as the tunnel that surrounded it. It seemed to secreting a strange black inky substance, and the water surrounding the creature was almost as dark as the thing itself. Daniel could make out pair of dark dull eyes, and something that like it may have been a hand topped with talons, but that as about it. The creature filled Daniel with fear, but Beatrice didn’t seem afraid at all. Perhaps that was even scarier.
‘I know you’re hungry.’ Beatrice said to the beast, as the ink began to run down her arms. ‘But don’t worry, I’ve brought you some food.’
For a moment Daniel thought she was talking about him, but to his relief she reached into her pocket and pulled out a jar. She sprinkled the contents into the water just in front of her, and Daniel saw a flash of jaws.
As the beast began to ank it sank low to the ground, and its body began to curl up into the shape of a question mark. Vast quantities of ink began to spew forth from the creature, but the ink seemed to float upwards into the air. The buzzing grew louder, but it seemed to deepen in tone, becoming almost a hum.
Daniel stood back up and, keeping his distance from the creature, spoke to Beatrice ‘What’s happening? What is that stuff?’
‘Time’ said Beatrice, and she looked at the watch. The minute and second hands were spinning round and round at impossible speed, the hour hand stuck fast at 11. The ink was continuing to pour out from the sides. And a black question mark had formed in its centre.
The ink That was filling the air was hanging there like a dense fog, but after a few seconds it seemed as though the air in the middle of the ink had begun to fade. But Daniel couldn’t see straight through it. It was as though he was looking through a window. He could see a face looking in through the other side, but Daniel was sure that nobody could be standing there. Slowly the image become clearer, and Daniel recognised the face he was seeing as that of Lemony Snicket, as he had looked when Daniel had seen him last. The image grew stronger, and he could see that Lemony was with a woman he had never met before. There were standing on a small outcrop surrounded by water in some kind of lagoon. The Water was Inky black, just like the water here, and they took were staring at the beast.
‘What are we looking at?’ Asked Daniel, shouting over the bombinating noise.
‘The past’ said Beatrice, with tears in her eyes
‘What do you mean?’ Asked Lemony. ‘Daniel, what are you doing here?’
‘Wait, you can hear us??’ said Daniel
‘Time is simply a matter of perspective.’ Said Beatrice. ‘To death, time is endless. It is as irrelevant as the smallest speck of dust.’
Ellington was holding the pocket watch, and it too was streaming ink, with its minute and second hands flying round in circles. She raised it toward the image, and then a third window began to appear out of the ink.
Beatrice and Daniel in the tunnel, and Ellington and Lemony in the lagoon both peered through the inky mist, as they began to make out the central image that was appearing before them. They could see a large circle of people, all dressed in black uniforms. In the centre was Esme Squalor, holding a walking with the image of the Beast carved at its top. Standing next to her was Beatrice, who was holding a long sharp knife, her arms covered in blood.
‘The union of the triskelion is complete’ Said Esme, as she raised her hand forward, the pocket watch bleeding ink everywhere ‘The Sacrifice has been made and time is joined once more. Audentes Fortuna Juvat’
The circle of people behind her echoed the cry ‘Audentes Fortuna Juvat’
‘Time must join again at the Twelfth hour' said Esme 'And you know what you must do, Beatrice’ Esme was looking through the Ink at the Beatrice stood next to Daniel. She looked through the window to herself, and nodded her head solemnly.
The Beast gave a tremendous screech, and the next second both the images disappeared. The Beast suddenly rose up from the ground, and for a second Daniel thought it was going to attack, but the beast turned, and with one last roar it disappeared back up the tunnel.
Daniel and Beatrice stood in silence. She looked at the pocket watch, and wiped the ink from its surface.
The time was 11:01.
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Post by R. on Mar 10, 2021 8:30:44 GMT -5
Time itself, Daniel Handler as a character, the overall inky black feeling of the unknown that seems everywhere in the series explained, cult leader!Esmé, this is perfect!
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Post by Optimism is my Phil-osophy on Mar 10, 2021 8:40:00 GMT -5
I'm confused ... Does the beast, The Clock and the location form a portal through time?
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 10, 2021 15:41:20 GMT -5
I'm confused ... Does the beast, The Clock and the location form a portal through time? Time has indeed converged. As for how, well, they are all in different locations, and I would not describe it as a portal as such....But i should refrain from saying too much. Time will tell, it always does.
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Post by Optimism is my Phil-osophy on Mar 10, 2021 15:44:59 GMT -5
I realized that time has a lot to say in this story.
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 11, 2021 7:24:10 GMT -5
March 2nd 2026
The Hinterlands had become a wild and barren place. Over the years the many fires and storms had left its plains a barren ruin, with various wild humans and untrustworthy animals roaming its plains. But it was in the farthest reaches of the hinterlands that a small, isolated house could be found. For many years it had been abandoned, but recently its presence had been uncovered, and its unique architectural features put to use.
In a small study of the ground floor of the house, there was a large wooden desk. The desk had many hidden drawers and compartments, some of which its current owner was yet to discover. In one of the uncovered drawers, however, there was a large and intricately detailed map. This map detailed all of the rivers and streams that flowed their way through this area of the country, and the map had been annotated with various findings and readings about the travelling's of a certain sea creature.
She studied the map closely, and marked down her latest recordings, making sure to note the exact time. After a few moments more of studying the map, she folded it back up and returned it to the desk. She opened another drawer and took out three items. The first was a pocket watch set in gold, with the words 'Fortuna Juvat' engraved in its casing. The second was an aged leather notebook, with the image of a caduceus on its cover. The Third was a small statue made out of wood, and carved in the likeness of the Bombinating Beast. She gathered up the three items, placing the watch and the notebook in her pockets, and headed to a spiral staircase that ran through the centre of the house.
If you follow the staircase upwards, you would come to a series of increasingly abandoned and increasingly dusty room, as these had remained untouched for even longer than the rest of the building. If you headed downwards however, you would come to something very interesting indeed, and that was where she headed.
Once she reached the door to the basement, she paused to light a small lantern, which was again shaped in the likeness of the bombinating beast. She unlocked the door carefully, and when she entered the room she could feel the cold air penetrating through to her skin.
The room was very dark, but it was empty enough that this hardly seemed to matter. The only items in the room were a small but comfortable looking chair, and a little wooden table. At the exact halfway point the floor of the room came to an abrupt end, and was replaced by a deep pool. The water was still, and looked inky black in the darkness of the basement.
The woman emptied her pockets and placed the lamp on the table. She picked up the statue of the bombinating beast and blew into the slit, and a loud bombinating sound echoed through the room. She picked up a jar of caviar, and walked over to the far side of the room.
A few moments later, the water in the pool began to ripple, and the beast appeared once more. It barely disturbed the water as its form began to settle on the surface, and curled up into the shape of a question mark.
'I hope you're hungry' Beatrice said. She opened up the jar of caviar and emptied its contents into the water. As the Beast ate, she reached out and placed a hand its skin. It felt strange to touch. It's skin felt metallic on the surface, with a softness buried underneath, and her had came away covered in ink.
'It'll be time soon.' She said to the Beast as she rose, almost affectionately. The beast remained in the water for a few moments, as it always did. Beatrice walked back over to the table, and opened the pocket watch. The time was 11:05. She had waited for so many years, but soon her waiting would be over. It would happen once more, and then when the Thirteenth Hour came she would finally reach the End.
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Post by Optimism is my Phil-osophy on Mar 11, 2021 8:44:23 GMT -5
Beatrice involved Daniel Handler in this story because she needed him to steal the map to find the beast?
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 12, 2021 3:39:27 GMT -5
I can't comment on her motivations, but perhaps you should be paying more attention to the content of the map in this chapter.
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 12, 2021 8:35:34 GMT -5
March 2nd 1981
The stretch of road that leads out of the city, past Hazy Harbour and into the town of Tedia is perhaps the most unpleasant in the world. Kit Snicket sat in the back of a taxi, staring out the window, and contemplating how all this had come to pass. As she looked out of the window at the Grim River and the Horseradish factory, she was filled with apprehension about what she would find at Monty's house.
Jacques had told her that Quigley was alive. The incident at Paltryville had taken up far more of his time than he was expecting, and so he would not be able to join them, but he believed that Quigley would be able to offer invaluable help. Kit was unsure. Their work had been going so well, for all of them. The Snicket File had been completed, they had successfully infiltrated Fortuna Juvat, and they finally had the watch. But then everything had changed.
The deaths of Beatrice and Bertrand had thrown everything up in the air, and Kit still wasn't sure if they would ever come down. She had been to the ruins of the mansion herself, as soon as she had heard. She had searched through the charred remains, and thankfully the watch was not lost. The Official Fire Department had done their best, but they had failed in their ultimate mission. It didn't make her feel any better, however.
Olaf was after the Baudelaires, desperate to seek some kind of petty revenge on them, and the last Kit had heard the children had been placed in the care of Esme Squalor. Did Esme think the children could have the watch? Possibly, but Kit was unsure. And the Quagmire's were lost as well, and Duncan and Isadora taken captive by Olaf and his obscene troupe. She would have to tell Quigley what happened, and she would have to tell him what she was up to as well.
She reached into her pocket and took out a pocket watch set in gold, with the words 'Fortuna Juvat' engraved in its casing. The time on it showed 11:18. She would not have much time, and she hoped that he would understand. The Baudelaire parents had died for this watch, and everything it meant. She could not let this all be for nothing. As the taxi rounded a bend she could see smoke on the horizon, and her heart sank.
The house was destroyed, burnt in its entirety. She had seen so many fires lately, pored through so many charred remains, but that didn't make it any easier. She paid the taxi driver, and for a while she simply stood next to one of the snake-shaped hedges and looked at the devastation around her. Perhaps Olaf had decided to finish the job he had started, but how could he have known that Quigley was here? She wondered if Jacques knew, and where he was now. And Lemony. She always worried about Lemony most of all, and whether or not he was still alive.
She should have stayed, tried to sort through the remains of the house and find and crucial evidence. But she didn't have time, and she had more important things to do.
It took her a while to find the passageway, and even longer to move the various pieces of debris out of the way. Once she had opened the trapdoor and descended into its depths, she took out a flashlight and began to walk. The watch was still showing the same time, but she needed to be careful, especially in her condition.
After a few minutes she stopped and knelt down to the ground. She felt careful until she found a small indent where the floor met the wall, and gave it a pull. The wall swung open, and she found herself in yet another tunnel. She shut the door behind her and swung around only to find herself facing the light from another flashlight 'Who's there?' she said, startled. 'Quigley? Is that you?'
'Quigley?' said Ellington Feint. 'Why Kit, I'm surprised. I know its been a long time, but I thought at least you would recognise me.'
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Post by Optimism is my Phil-osophy on Mar 12, 2021 9:20:31 GMT -5
Oh ... This is painfully good. This story is everything I ever wanted and didn't even know I wanted it. There are secret tunnels inside the secret tunnels. This makes everything more complex and interesting. Just as there is a secret organization pursued by members of another secret organization. This Fanfic seems to have managed to organize all the cool things done by fans in the last 20 years and put it in a coherent and yet innovative way. There is the answer to counto's question about when everything happened. There are events parallel to the main story of asoue in which Tragedy is the master at developing (using comedy but the idea is still that). We have an investigation done by Beatrice Jr (as I did recently). We have mysteries that are actually being solved but at the same time shedding light on new mysteries. I am happy that I am wrong about my initial expectations. We have here something that is really much bigger and better than I had thought ... Something better than Lost (not that doing something better than Lost is such a big challenge). If the main events of ASOUE took place in 1981 in this universe, then the VFD Great Schism did happen at the time of the second world war in our universe. And Beatrice Jr is about 40 in 2021. Violet is 55, Klaus is 53 and Sunny ... somewhere between 42 and 44 years old. In 2016 Lemony was almost 75 years old.
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Post by counto on Mar 13, 2021 4:03:39 GMT -5
So ASOUE may take place in 1981. That would make sense, since the original trial of the Von Bulow trials took place around that time. Which was what inspired the main Baudelaire children names. Claus Von Bulow (Klaus Baudelaire), Martha Sharp "Sunny" Von Bulow (Sunny Baudelaire) and Arlene Violet (Violet Baudelaire).
Also if the Baudelaire trial in Hotel Denouement is reference/parody of the Von Bulow trials, then it may have taken place in 1982. Same year that Beatrice II was born.
Plus I like the idea of the VFD Schism happening around WWII (possible 1941 or 42)
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 13, 2021 10:23:03 GMT -5
March 2nd 2001
Ellington looked at the Golden pocket watch. The hands were stuck fast at 10:00, and they hadn't moved since the beast had gone. Lemony and Ellington had gone back out of the lagoon, through the underwater pathway, and they were now sat in one of the many tunnels that ran underneath the city. It must be mid-morning by now, though they had no way of telling down here.
'When your sister gave me this watch, the hands were stuck at 10:00 as well.' Ellington told Lemony. 'They didn't move for 20 years, but now they've gone back to how they were before.'
'You said that the timings on the watch are counting down to the convergence of time?' Lemony asked
'Yes. At least that's what it says in here.' Ellington pulled an aged leather notebook out of her pocket, with the image of a caduceus on its cover. 'This book, it was taken from Fortuna Juvat by one of your noblest volunteers many years ago. It contains almost all of their knowledge about the the Beast, and to find and contain it.'
Ellington opened the journal to a specific page and showed it to Lemony 'The watch is counting to something they refer to as a 'union of the triskelion'. I think that was what we saw before, those...images of things. Of the future.'
'So if the watch is 10:00, what does that tell us?' said Lemony, confused.
'That union was at 11:00. If the watch is counting down to that again, then one of those visions that we saw will be what happens next. That woman, Beatrice, she was there in both of those visions. Perhaps if we find her then we can find out whats happening.'
'She looked older' said Lemony. 'A Lot older. It could be years until it happens again.
'I don't have years. And we don't know what we saw. It could all just be a trap, maybe it doesn't mean anything.'
'But I spoke to them.' said Lemony. 'They seemed real to me. In the future Esme and Beatrice had the watch - the older Beatrice I mean. Or both Beatrices. This is very confusing. But if they have watch in the future, that means that neither you or I have it.'
'So? That doesn't mean anything.'
'I think it does. Perhaps this is the only part we're meant to play in this sad theatre.'
Ellington turned to Lemony, and her eyes narrowed. 'What are you saying.'
'I think we should just leave it be.' He closed the journal and handed it back to her. 'I don't see why we should get involved.'
'No!' Ellington shouted at him, her eyes growing wild. 'I've spent too long, Lemony, trying to get to this point. To end it all finally. And I won't let you. I said I was going to destroy the beast and there's nothing you can do to stop me.'
'You also said we were going to get them back, those that had been taken the beast. How are we supposed to do that if we also destroy it. Or is that all in the book as well?'
Ellington turned away from Lemony. 'That was a lie. I thought.....well, it seemed like it would be enough to convince you to come with me. And I needed....youre help.' She couldn't tell him the truth, not now. 'And I'm not giving up. There are details in here about how to get to the headquarters of Fortuna Juvat.'
'Why would we go there?'
'Because I'm tired of hiding from the truth. And I think I might receive a warmer welcome this time.'
It took them several hours to walk through the myriad of tunnels and secret passageways to reach the headquarters. Soon they rounded a corner and were confronted with what at first appeared to be a dead end. Upon closer inspection, however, it was large doorway wrought out of iron. The door seemingly had no handle, no discernible way of opening it, yet it nevertheless was a door. In it's centre was cast the image of a caduceus; above that was the insignia of VFD; below both of those were the words 'Fortuna Juvat.'
'Now' said Lemony 'We need to work out how to get in.'
'I don't think we need to make it that complicated.' said Ellington. She reached in to her pocket and pulled out the statue of the Bombinating Beast, and pressed it to her lips.
The bombinating sound echoed all around the tunnel, but after a few moments Ellington took the statue away from her mouth, and the noise ceased. She could see Lemony becoming increasingly uncomfortable, but nothing happened.
'What were you expecting?' he said to her
'Be patient' she said
The next moment, a small hole opened in the centre of the door. She then heard a hissing sound, but Lemony was quicker than she was.
'Gas' he said, and he ran towards the hole to cover it over with his handkerchief.
'No.' she said, and she sat down on the floor. 'Let them.'
'But....' Ellington never found out what Lemony was going to say, as the next second he collapsed on the floor next to her. As Ellington began to lose consciousness the last thing she remembered was the sound as the statue fell to the ground, echoing around the chamber.
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 13, 2021 10:57:15 GMT -5
That chapter was a an absolute nightmare to write. This is a beast (hehe) of a story and this is the first time i really felt the weight of so many characters and timelines intercutting. It would probably make it easier if I stopped adding new timezones. Ah well. Oh ... This is painfully good. This story is everything I ever wanted and didn't even know I wanted it. There are secret tunnels inside the secret tunnels. This makes everything more complex and interesting. Just as there is a secret organization pursued by members of another secret organization. This Fanfic seems to have managed to organize all the cool things done by fans in the last 20 years and put it in a coherent and yet innovative way. There is the answer to counto's question about when everything happened. There are events parallel to the main story of asoue in which Tragedy is the master at developing (using comedy but the idea is still that). We have an investigation done by Beatrice Jr (as I did recently). We have mysteries that are actually being solved but at the same time shedding light on new mysteries. I am happy that I am wrong about my initial expectations. We have here something that is really much bigger and better than I had thought ... Something better than Lost (not that doing something better than Lost is such a big challenge). If the main events of ASOUE took place in 1981 in this universe, then the VFD Great Schism did happen at the time of the second world war in our universe. And Beatrice Jr is about 40 in 2021. Violet is 55, Klaus is 53 and Sunny ... somewhere between 42 and 44 years old. In 2016 Lemony was almost 75 years old. Thank you for the great comments And yes, all those timeline dates are correct.
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Mar 14, 2021 7:48:18 GMT -5
March 2nd 2016
Beatrice was not sure how long she had slept for it. It could have been days, it could have been hours, it could have been weeks. She was hesitant to open her eys in case of what she might find before her, in case she had confront the reality of what had happened the previous night. She could still hear Lemonys words echoing in her ears, and the sound he had made when she had pushed the knife into his chest.
'I know you're awake'
Beatrice jerked up and opened her eyes. She was in a small room, empty but for a bed and the man who had spoken to her. He had a round face, and worse round glasses and a stern expression.
'So are you.' she told him.
'She wishes to speak to you.' He said, unsmiling. 'Will you accompany me?' He held out his hand to her.
'I suppose.' said Beatrice. As she climbed out of the bed she became aware she was wearing a black nightdress. The clothes she had been wearing the day before had vanished, and she did not know where any of her belongings would be gone.
The man led the way, and they walked out of the room into the main auditorium of Forutna Juvat. It was much brighter than it had been yesterday, with a large number of lamps and candles lit. There were various members of the society hovering around the room, and they all eyed her intensely as she passed. They walked past the enormous pendulum, and the man rapped his knuckles on the wall. While they waited, Beatrice looked at the steps leading to the pool of water. She could still Lemonys blood staining the brickwork.
The wall slid open, and the man stood aside for Beatrice to walk through. 'Are you not coming with me?' she asked him.
'It's not my place.' he said, as the door shut behind her.
Beatrice found herself in an elegant study. The walls were adorned with images depicting the Great Beast from across the years. Esme Squalor was sat on a large wooden chair, carved in the from the same dark wood in the likeness of the Beast. The chair was fashioned that it seemed like Esme was sat in the gaping jaws of the Beast. There was a large desk in front of her, with a map of various rivers and streams on it. Esme was studying it intently, and took a few moments to notice Beatrice's presence
'Oh, there you are!' She stood up and walked over to Beatrice, and embraced her. 'It's wonderful to see you again. Please, sit down.' Esme indicated to a seat on the opposite side of the desk.
Beatrice sat, and began to look at the map as well.
'Would you like something to drink?' Esme asked her
'I'm fine' Said Beatrice.
'Whatever' Esme took a sip from a glass full of inky black liquid.
'Why are you looking at this?' Beatrice asked her.
'Lemony had a map that was very similar to this, but different in other ways. I find it alarming that he manage to obtain so much knowledge in such a short space of time. The map was startlingly accurate.'
'Where is it?'
'Its gone, and so is his body. Everything has to be put in it's proper place so it can be found again later. It is out destiny, after all.'
Beatrice looked sadly at Esme. 'You said that if I did this thing I would see them again. My family.'
'And you will, my dear, I promise you.'
'Why did Lemony have to die? I know the beast needs a sacrifice, but why did I have to do it? And why did it have to be him?'
'Everything we do is not out of choice, but out of necessity. We have all lost things, and we must do what we must in order to find them again. Just as you had to kill Lemony I too have had to make sacrifices.'
'But why? How can you trust that we are doing what is right?'
Esme pulled an aged leather notebook out of her pocket, with the image of a caduceus on its cover. 'It is good for you to ask these questions. Questions are what help us to understand, and understanding is what makes able to sleep at night. But every now and then I find it good to question those who question things. I have pledged myself in endless devotion to our god, to do the things that we must. Do you not have faith?'
Beatrice could still hear the sound Lemony made as a he died. 'I have faith in my family, I thought that was enough.'
'Perhaps it is.' Esme sighed. 'But you must be sure, Beatrice. There are moments when we must understand that the decisions we make influence more than just our own fates. You saw yourself in the ink yesterday. Me and you, we are the centre of everything, and we cannot change that. You must accept your destiny.'
'I thought I had more time.'
'Why does everyone say that? "To have time." How can we say that, when it's time that has us?' Esme rose from the chair, and walked over to an image of the bombinating Beast. In the painting, the beast was standing tall over a forgotten town by a forgotten sea. 'When I was a little girl it first came to me. I spent years trying to escape it, to run away from it, to deny my true fate. I was afraid of what it might mean, but fear was my true enemy. Time catches us all in the end, we cannot escape its grasp. Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, they are all connected. One influences the other. We cannot escape our future because the future has us in it's web. You can accept it, like me, or you can try to fight it, like Lemony. It is all just a question of perspective.'
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Post by R. on Mar 14, 2021 8:35:32 GMT -5
Please! Why are you doing this to me? It’s like you have reached right into my mind and written down all of my deepest thoughts and fantasies about ASOUE, even the ones I didn’t know I had!
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