2004 Movie - Deleted Count Olaf's Tour Scenes (With Script)

[gothicarchiesfan]

Once again my health issues have reared their ugly head so I have massive backlog of things to get two. By way of making this up to you, here is another excerpt from that script draft. The deleted elements have been bolded. 

Thanks again one and all for your patience. 

COUNT OLAF

I realize that my humble home isn't as fancy as the Baudelaire mansion but I'm coming into a great deal of money soon...

(rubs hands together, giggles, orgasmic)

...and I think it will be quite charming when it's finished. Shall we take a look?

They take two steps. He STOPS them immediately, makes a dramatic sweeping gesture.

COUNT OLAF

This is the living room, in bygone days it was witness to some of the greatest gatherings of the somewhat talented near celebrities of the time. When stripping the floors, be sure to open the windows. We wouldn't want you to suffocate before you reupholster the couch, which by the way will be off limits to the monkey.

SUNNY

Darwinia! ("I'M NOT A MONKEY!")

(B-Roll from an official promo video/Promotional Still)

INT. KITCHEN

Dirty dishes and rusty utensils everywhere.

COUNT OLAF

The kitchen I know what you're thinking. It could use a little TLC. I trust you've had your tetanus shots...

The kids see a rat waddle across the room to a food bowl marked - .

(Promotional Stills)

COUNT OLAF

Polio. Smallpox. Typhoid. Malaria...

INT. "ENTERTAINMENT" ROOM

An absolute hell hole of disrepair, with vast portions of the ceiling missing -- and somewhere lost in the mess of molting couches and broken theatrical props, a nine-inch television.

COUNT OLAF

The entertainment room. I'm told that ceiling can be brought up to code in no time. You re not afraid of heights are you? Ha ha! A monkey afraid of heights imagine it! 

They move around a wall..

COUNT OLAF

Come with me. Don't wander...

(Behind the wall)

COUNT OLAF

(O.S.)

Stay close to me children, this place is a labyrynth.

And immediately appear right back where they started.

INT. BACK PORCH ENTRANCE

Olaf opens the door which reveals the wilds of his backyard, an overgrown jungle of twisting tree shapes and dead plants. In the distance -- an atrium in serious disrepair which vaguely approximates a proscenium.

COUNT OLAF

My theater. Home to such cutting edge production as Grease 2 and Hamlet The College Years. We are presently in rehearsal for the great Al Funcoot's riveting nine act dramady "The Marvelous Carriage." It's the epic tail of an extremely handsome Count who traipses around the countryside in a carriage, stealing from the rich and ignoring the poor. It's a morality play, with a shocking twist, a fancy flip and a couple of dispsy doodles.

(Promotional Stills)

INT. TOP OF STAIRCASE

As he leads then up nodding toward --

KLAUS

What's that up there?

COUNT OLAF

The tower.

He stops, and turns back over his shoulder slowly. As he looks back he fights off a smile.

COUNT OLAF

Which you are never to enter under any circumstances.

[tsmefford]

Awesome! Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to more, but as always, take your time