Sound Clip from the Grim Grotto

[SnicketFires]

A summary of The Grim Grotto can be heard here:
www.barnesandnoble.com/writers/writer.asp?userid=ZYw1F8vP6a&cid=968086
Near the bottom of the page, by the Grim Grotto picture.

"I'm sad to say that the Grim Grotto is probably the grimmest, as its title would indicate, of all of my books and contains such atrocites as a mechanical octopus, a deadly disease *, a cramped submarine, a mysterious telegram, an unnerving fungus, and gallons and gallons of salt water....They [Baudelaires] end up joining the crew of a submarine that is on a very dangerous mission..."

*

sugarhigh said:

Strange Z Words in Index

1. zonation n. distribution in zones, esp. (Ecol.) of plants into zones characterized by a dominant species
2. zoography- n. descriptive zoology
3. zygology- n. science of joining and fastening
4. zymurgy- the study of the processes of fermentation
5. zopissa- n.combination of wax and pitch used for medicinal purposes
6. zygosity- n. The nature of the zygotes from which individuals are derived; e.g., whether by separation of the division of one zygote (monozygotic), in which case they will be genetically identical, or from two separate fertilised ova (dizygotic).

The most notable being zopissa and zonation. For the source of this quote, its in Autobiography, in the Z words thread.

[Caterina]

Wow, cool. Whats on Klauses shirt. Ike?

[kjlsnicket29]

No one really knows who it is....it looks like Ike, or an older dedicated member of V.F.D's scuba diving suit, that they might have stolen, because they needed one....

[kjlsnicket29]

Oh, and he also said that right now, he's working on the Adult book, "Adverbs" and he's also working on book the 12 of A Series of Unfortunate Events.......

[Sora]

Ummm. not to be rude or anything, but don't we already have at least three threads going on about the sound clip?

[Mr. Flocuna]

Maybe the person on the suit is Count Olaf in yet another disguise?

[kjlsnicket29]

Sora said:

Ummm. not to be rude or anything, but don't we already have at least three threads going on about the sound clip?

Yeah....I think................................................................

[BradyIsGreat]

somones already posted this

[Michael]

"I'm sad to say that the Grim Grotto is probably the grimmest, as its title would indicate, of all of my books and contains such atrocites as a mechanical octopus, a deadly disease *, a cramped submarine, a mysterious telegram, an unnerving fungus, and gallons and gallons of salt water....They [Baudelaires] end up joining the crew of a submarine that is on a very dangerous mission..."

Could someone get a transcript of the warning and the essay? It wont work for me!!!!!

[Sora]

I have know clue how to transcribe sound clips. Ask swans she might know.

[Michael]

Finally!!!! After checking my internet, going to anoher computer, and then ANOTHER computer it has finally worked!!!! Also, after slaving manually for 30 min i got transcripts...I did it manually...meaning listening then copying down....There MUST be an easier way....I wonder if he had those typed up while he was reading...he kept saying "um" and "ah"

[Michael]

Here they are...quite long really.....This took me forever to do manually! Im sure there is a program somewhere.....Also Im not sure about how to spell some of the authors names he mentions, or the books by the authors books. Please send any mistakes you find to me!:

The Audio Warning:
“Hello, this is Lemony Snicket for "Meet the Writers", Even though we aren't actually meeting, of course, you are listening to a recording of my voice, due to some sort of ghastly mistake. I'm here to talk about "The Grim Grotto", Book the Eleventh in "A Series of Unfortunate Events", which is the term for my sequence of books telling the history of the Baudelaire Orphans. I'm sad to say that "The Grim Grotto" is probably the grimmest, as its title would indicate, out of all of my books and contains such atrocities as a mechanical octopus, a deadly disease, a cramped submarine, a mysterious telegram, an unnerving fungus, and gallons and gallons of salt water. The salt water forms an ocean, in which the Baudelaire orphans find themselves after being tossed down the "Stricken Stream", and they end up joining the crew of a submarine which is on a very dangerous mission. I wish I could tell you the dangerous mission was the most unnerving part of the book, but unfortunantly this mission is put aside by a mysterious disappearance, and also, I’m afraid to say, the reappearance of a treacherous villain, named Count Olaf. I do hope that this description has put you off reading "The Grim Grotto" or any other of my books, and I hope that this recording of my voice can serve as a warning to read anything, anything else...but the "The Grim Grotto". Thank you very much.”

The Essay:
"Hello, this is Daniel Handler, The novelist, and also allegedly the same person as Lemony Snicket. I've been asked by the good people at Barnes and Noble to talk to you, vio audio recording, about what exactly makes me "tick". I was not aware that anyone else could hear the ticking that often accompynies me, but its a relief to me that it's not only going on in my head.

I've been puzzled for a number of years now, that the Lemony Snicket books, known collectively as "A Series of Unfortunate Events" has been so popular. When I started writing "The Bad Beginning", I had no idea people would be interested in such a ghastly story, and when, to my astonishment, I found an editor at a publishing house who was interested in actually purchasing such grim stories. My one consolation was that she was just as insane as I was, and that the two of us were going be failures together. We would have to live together in a cardboard box underneath a bridge. Instead the books have really failed to fail and I'm sad to say like the evoli virus and a number of other infectiouns, the Lemony Snicket books seem to be all over the world.

When I was young, my favorite stories were not the sort of children's books that are constantly being thrust at you when you're little. I didn't like really like books about people who played on a sports team, and won a bunch of games or went to summer camp and had a wonderful time.I really like a book where a witch might cut of a child's head, or a pack of angry dogs might burst through the door and terrorize a family. So I guess it should not be suprising that when I turned to children's literature i tried to think of all sorts of interesting things to happen to small children, and all of these things were pretty dreadful. People have compared me to Edward Gorey, who was a lifelong enthusiasm of mine. The first book I bought with my own money was Edward Gorey's "The Blue Icepick". I was told he recieved in the mail copies of "The Bad Beginning" and "The Reptile Room" in the mail before his death. Its my fantasy that it's my books that really killed him. That he was old, and he picked them up, and he realized he'd done enough damage, and he just sort of departed from the world, but I have no proof for that and in all likely hood, probably, the books are still in the envelopes that were mailed to him.

I am one of those writers who really likes to write constantly . I get up every morning and write, and I tend to write until about 3 or 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Then wander around my neighborhood, with a somewhat vacant look on my face, or at least, thats what I'm told. And in my spare time I do little else but read. Im afraid I'm on of those bookish people who do little else other than read. Im known as the person who always, always, always has a book in his hands, and is never, never, never is not found reading, whenever the occasion is appropriate. I also have taken up the accordian. I took it up in colledge, and my parents reacted as if I had taken up heroin. I began to play the accordian, and in my spare time I occasionaly sit in with other musical ensombles, including "The Magnetic Fields", which is a pop group headed by my friend Steven Merit. Mr. Merit has written a song for each of the Lemony Snicket books, found on the audio editions. And when the thirteenth book is published, we'll release an album together, of all thirteen different songs.

Let's see, there are so many good people writing now that one never knows who to plug, and who not to plug. I'm an enourmous fan of the novels of Lowri Moore, although im always reluctant to admit that, because I think when people read them they'll see how much I've stolen from Lowri Moore's work, and I would appreciate Lowri Moore not coming after me. Ive seen photographs of her, and she seems like a slight woman, but even though I might be taller, I am something of a sissy,and so I think in any sort of conflict, Lowri Moore would win. I really enjoy the work of Haruki Murakami, whoose a japanese novelist. Jose Saramago, Who is else is good? (Mary?) Alice Monroe...I just read a novel called "The Sea, The Sea" by Iris Murdoch. Its not a recent novel...but I, well I read it recently and its about a selflessly delusional man who goes off to live in a cottage by the sea. It sort of scared me, because that's actually my plan this summer. To go off to a cottage by the sea, and I was wandering if I'm as self dellusional as the hero of that book.

I wouldn't call myself a consultant on the Lemony Snicket movie, but I did get to visit the set a few times, and walked around in utter amazement at the sets that were built. They built this lake...indoors. I tried to make the point, that I believed there were actual lakes that existed in the United States, so they didn't really have to build one indoors in order to film, but they said that they seemed to prefer to build their own lake. And it was really quiet amazing to walk into what was once a Boeing Aircraft factory, I was told, and see this enourmous body of water that was built just so they could throw Merly Streep of a boat, and let her get eaten by leeches. I have been assured that Meryl Streep is still alive and well, and that the leeches didn't actually kill her at the time, but still it was interesting to see that body of water, and it is just, overall, amazing to walk around the room and see so many people working very, very hard just to put something together that you wrote down on a piece of paper. It made me realize just how easy my job is compared to, say, the man who has to paint the tree branches so they look, match in shade to the branches at the other end of the set. It seems like a much harder job. And I guess what is most amazing to me is that actors, such as Jim Carrey and Meryl Streep and Jude Law and Jane Adams...Jennifer Coolidge....All these really wonderful actors, have agreed to just destroy their carreers by appearing in a movie that's guareenteed to be one of the most depressing films of all time. I guess the've lost interest in continueing their acting career, and would like to live under that cardboard box, that I thought I would end up in. In fact, Luiz Guzman, who plays one of Olaf's henchmen, he was planning on going on vacation, but that when the oppurtunity arouse, his children insisted that, instead of, he cancel the vacation, and instead appear in this film. I think this just must be some excuse his children were using to get him out of the house. They probably found where he keeps his weapons, or his jewels, and needed him to get out of the house so they could get at them. But he seems to think its because they like the books so much.

I get an alarming amount of mail from people who have read the Lemony Snicket books. I used to answer all of them, and then I realized it was very important that I at least sleep once a week, so it became impossible for me to answer all of the letters that I recieve. Most of the letters express a great deal of concern, for the Baudelaire orphans, and hopeing that they will be safe someplace. At last, it's sad to see all those people with their hopes so high, and to just know in my heart that their hopes will be dashed. And the other major concern in the letters is concern over me, and whether I have lost my mind in writing such dreadful stories, especially stories marketed for very young people. And I share that concern from the reader's who write to me.

Right now I'm working on the twelvth volume in the "A Series of Unfortunate Events", and also have just finished a novel called "Adverbs", which will be the third book I published under my own name. And "Adverbs" is a book about love, it is for adults, I suppose, although, I suppose, if you were a child, and you were very interested in love then I would have no objections to you reading it. It's a fairly miserable story, as any story about love will be. People try to find love, some of them find it, some of them don't, and some have an unhappy time even if they do find it. But it is considerely more cheerful then any of my so called "Children's" books..."

[Jacques the Environmentalist]

Whoa, thanks for posting the recordings guys! Now I know much more about tgg.... And I always want more info...