Post by Luigi on Aug 13, 2004 18:32:42 GMT -5
I dunno. I'm bored. I'm making fun of the cliches in the HP movies.
[pointless, boring beggining scene]
DIRECTOR
How do I add a burst of light that can pan into the title? I suppose I'll have to force it.
HARRY is asleep. Then, the sun rises. Harry turns on his desk lamp and...
HARRY POTTER
and the
STUPID PARODY
HARRY
Damn, do the Dursleys suck.
DEUX EX MACHINA DU JOUR
Don't worry, Harry! We'll save you in an exciting and perhaps comical manner that involves Vernon Dursley getting hurt and then screaming at you.
Vernon chases after Harry, despiste hating him and not wanting him in his house,but falls.
VERNON
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! J00 SUX0RS, POTTER!!!
INT: Wherever the deux ex machina takes Harry.
Harry has a good time at wherever, but Voldemort's latest wacky antic is foreshadowed.
INT: Train
Harry, Ron, Hermione:
Idle chatter.
INT: Hogwarts
HARRY is late for the sorting for some reason. But if he had arrived, it would have looked like this:
McGonagal:
Characters that advance the plot, please [dramatic pause] get sorted.
HAT
Gry[dramatic pause]ffindor!
or
Sly[dramatic pause]therin!
McGonagal:
Now since the important people are sorted, all you can [dramatic pause] go to hell.
But no one can ever miss Dumbledore's words of wisdom, said melodramatically with much pauses.
DUMBLEDORE
WELCOME [pause] to a new [pause] year at [extra dramatic pause] HOGWARTS SCHOOL [really dramatic pause, followed by a whisper] of Witchcraft [really, really, really long pause which is long enough to fit one of John Williams brilliant works] [then, louder] and WIZARDRY.
Magical things happen, like ghosts and flying...tea cups. Yeah, tea cups.
AUDIENCE
Oooh, magic.
QUIDDITCH
CGI people fly around on CGI brooms in a CGI field.
HARRY
AAAARGH! A PROBLEM!
[blacks out]
HERMIONE
Something [dramatic pause] evil is happening [dramatic pause] at [dramatic pause] hogwarts.
Harry and the crew suspect someone, but it's the wrong person, which they don't know until the climax.
will be continued later....
[pointless, boring beggining scene]
DIRECTOR
How do I add a burst of light that can pan into the title? I suppose I'll have to force it.
HARRY is asleep. Then, the sun rises. Harry turns on his desk lamp and...
HARRY POTTER
and the
STUPID PARODY
HARRY
Damn, do the Dursleys suck.
DEUX EX MACHINA DU JOUR
Don't worry, Harry! We'll save you in an exciting and perhaps comical manner that involves Vernon Dursley getting hurt and then screaming at you.
Vernon chases after Harry, despiste hating him and not wanting him in his house,but falls.
VERNON
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! J00 SUX0RS, POTTER!!!
INT: Wherever the deux ex machina takes Harry.
Harry has a good time at wherever, but Voldemort's latest wacky antic is foreshadowed.
INT: Train
Harry, Ron, Hermione:
Idle chatter.
INT: Hogwarts
HARRY is late for the sorting for some reason. But if he had arrived, it would have looked like this:
McGonagal:
Characters that advance the plot, please [dramatic pause] get sorted.
HAT
Gry[dramatic pause]ffindor!
or
Sly[dramatic pause]therin!
McGonagal:
Now since the important people are sorted, all you can [dramatic pause] go to hell.
But no one can ever miss Dumbledore's words of wisdom, said melodramatically with much pauses.
DUMBLEDORE
WELCOME [pause] to a new [pause] year at [extra dramatic pause] HOGWARTS SCHOOL [really dramatic pause, followed by a whisper] of Witchcraft [really, really, really long pause which is long enough to fit one of John Williams brilliant works] [then, louder] and WIZARDRY.
Magical things happen, like ghosts and flying...tea cups. Yeah, tea cups.
AUDIENCE
Oooh, magic.
QUIDDITCH
CGI people fly around on CGI brooms in a CGI field.
HARRY
AAAARGH! A PROBLEM!
[blacks out]
HERMIONE
Something [dramatic pause] evil is happening [dramatic pause] at [dramatic pause] hogwarts.
Harry and the crew suspect someone, but it's the wrong person, which they don't know until the climax.
will be continued later....
