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Post by Amber on Jun 19, 2005 11:32:14 GMT -5
The footnotes are great.
I wonder what will happen to me...
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Post by Celinra on Jun 19, 2005 19:20:02 GMT -5
Very interesting.
Pretend this is a better comment.
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Post by PJ on Jun 21, 2005 6:24:13 GMT -5
Second-Last Entry up.
Entry Seven
After telling Derik the good news, PJ received a rare compliment, and then the two Haxx0r lords discussed the future. “Now that the Intelecteers are gone, should I take on an apprentice, master? So that we can broaden our empire and defend our sites from that pesky Resistance.” Before Derik could answer, Jacques, annoyingly, faded into view for the last time. “If you have more than 2 Haxx0r lords then the dark side gets spread too thinly, resulting in a massive drop in the power of each individual Haxx0r lord so you're less effective. And no you don't know what you're doing. Besides, WHAT empire? Your empire consists of random kids pretending to be Haxx0r lords and running around like chickens with their heads cut off. You've done absolutely nothing in gaining any sort of power, nor have you anything to 'defend'.” PJ sighed and drew his sword, but Colin, eager for a feast, got there first. He leapt onto Jacques’s face, and clamped on tightly, his experience with Dante having taught him. Jacques screams where muffled as Colin began to devour him. Then all of a sudden Jacques went quiet, and he fell to the floor limp. And Colin began to feast, swallowing the poor guy in one big gulp.
Meanwhile, back with the Intelecteers, who, of course, survived*.
*I mean come on. All the good guys can’t ALL die at the same time. It’s stupid. Who would save Amber? Who would wake BSam? Who would rebuild 667? So shut-up and keep reading about HOW they escaped, instead of whining about clichés.
The barracks part of the spaceship was made of a far sturdier metal than the rest of the ship, for a number of reasons. If the ship where to crash-land, the barracks would be the safest place to be in. If an enemy boarded the ship, the barracks-walls would be impenetrable. And if seven Intelecteers tried to escape a bomb, the barracks would withstand the blast. And so they found themselves in the barracks, with lots of food, water, air and places to sleep. It was deserted. The only problem was, the barracks didn’t have any motor, so they where hurtling through the Internet without any way to steer. If, for instance, one was driving on a road and one was unable to steer, one would eventually hit something, and, depending on the speed, be severely hurt. In the Internet, however, things where very, very different. Since it was so incredibly vast, the chance of them bumping into anything was very, very small. Let alone something like a civilised site.
“Where are we?” Pandora asked groggily. The blast had thrown them in all directions, and she had hit her head. Again. “We’re in the barracks.” Ennui answered, a look of despair on his face. “Ok, so get us to some planet where we can buy a proper ship and we can go beat PJ with heavy and blunt objects.” J. said holding her head. Dante was preoccupied with the thought of doing just that, so it was Antenora who delivered the bad news. “Uh, I don’t think this part of the ship has a motor. Which means, we’re drifting through the Internet. Which means we’re probably gonna die.” Dante snapped out of his daydream. “I have an idea.” He said. Everyone listened patiently.
After explaining several times, the group finally agreed to use Dante’s plan. It was the only one they had, so they could hardly ignore it. The plan had a few gaping flaws, but it would have to do. They all held hands* and concentrated the Code around the ship. Then, as one, the Intelecteers pushed their barracks as hard as they could. The result was that their speed increased slightly. They all tried again, and the speed increased once more. They kept this up* for the whole day until they collapsed, drained of energy onto the sofa.
*Hippies. The whole lot of ‘em.
*Antenora kept them all together.
You see, every time the ship went faster, it was harder to muster enough speed to knock the ship forwards, but by the end of the day they had managed to achieve a good enough speed. And, since they where in the empty Internet, they wouldn’t lose any speed. Now the plans flaws presented themselves. No matter how fast they went, there was still the question of them finding a suitable site to land on. Although the speeding up had significantly increased their chances of survival, if they didn’t find a site, and soon, they where doomed.
So one person would always stay on lookout, searching for a suitable site whilst the rest amused themselves. Occasionally, Dante, Antenora or Pandora would use the Code to nudge the ship a bit faster, as their ability to manipulate the code was greater than the others. So, naturally, to pass the time, everyone told everyone else what they had been doing since 667 was destroyed, starting off with Ennui, who recounted his time on the Imperial Battle Ship.
“When I awoke, I was bound by those lightning suspender things that look cool. Derik himself appeared to interrogate me, after a while. He wished to know the location of the Resistance bases…” Ennui had a pained expression on his face. “But…surely, you didn’t tell them? Intelecteers can ignore any amount of pain!” Dante said, confused. Ennui’s face was very pale. “Yes…but…” He stuttered, and gave a small moan. “They have Amber.” He whispered. “What? What did he say?” J. asked, leaning closer. “I said they have Amber.” Ennui found it hard to talk. “She looked awful…they…they where experimenting on her, or something.” Everyone looked horrified; Amber was their friend too. “I sensed…both the light and the dark side in her. It was….odd.” Antenora seemed caught between puzzlement and horror. What he was saying made no sense. “She had both? A hybrid?” Ennui nodded, and gulped. “She didn’t seem herself anymore. I…I looked into her eyes and didn’t recognize her. She’s worse than dead.” He paused. “Then Derik started threatening her…” He trailed away. “And I told him! I had to. You may not understand, but I didn’t have a choice. The entire Resistance is in danger! We have to stop Derik!” Antenora patted him on the arm. “It’s ok. We would have done the same.” Ennui took a few ragged breaths. What he had seen had disturbed him greatly. “We have to stop them, for Amber.”
“With the Intelecteers gone, save two, the Dark side has gained much power.” Derik said. “I don’t feel any more powerful…” PJ said, looking at his hands. “I don’t think you can feel it. But I think it’s time we eliminate the last threat to my Empire.” PJ’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean…” “Yes. We will kill BSam.” “Oh. I thought you meant the queen of n00bs.” Derik looked miffed. “She died in Divided*, remember? Now be quiet, lest we be sued, or something. I think we will be able to remove the wards and kill the great Sam in his sleep. Or, if he wakes up, I think we can take him together.” PJ seemed to be thinking. “Should we use…you know. She could help us, if we set things up.” Derik shook his head. “No, Amber is too unpredictable. I think we will manage this alone.” PJ nodded. “Ok. Let’s go then.” Derik shook his head. “We need the ritual to open the words, stupid. I’ll go browse the archives and learn them. You can go…do whatever the hell it is you do.” And with that parting riposte, Derik turned and left, Colin slithering behind him. The towel turned, and hissed fiercely, before leaving. PJ glared at it, the hatred on his face showing long after his master and his pet had left.
*See Divided, by Dante Rubens. Or just keep reading. My story is much more interesting anyways.
Meanwhile, Celinra, who was on the lookout, shouted that they where approaching a site. “Is it deserted?” Akbar asked, excitedly. “I dunno.” Celinra said, squinting. After a moment of staring, Pandora shouted “It’s Amazon! We’re saved!” Everyone cheered wildly, except for Antenora, who was slowly changing the direction of the flying barracks so that they where now flying straight towards the enormous site. “Judging by our speed, we should arrive in a few hours.” Ennui said, comparing the distances.
Ennui got it wrong, and it was only the next day that J. announced that they where entering the atmosphere. “Uh, so how are we going to land?” She asked. Everyone froze. “Oh oh.” Antenora said. Ennui leapt up. “We’ll be smashed to bits!” He declared, waving his arms dramatically. “If we can speed this place up, we can also slow it down. Everyone help me.” Antenora said, and closed her eyes. A roaring noise filled the barracks, as they pierced the atmosphere. The temperature rose as all the Intelecteers concentrated on slowing down the flying barracks they where in. Ennui, still weakened by his captivity, strained himself and shouted, and collapsed on the couch, dramatically. Antenora was sweating profusely, but she continued to slow their make-shift ship down. And slow down it did. They had already lost half of their speed, aided by their entry into the atmosphere. A moment later the noise stopped, and was replaced by a whistling. They where officially on Amazon. “Concentrate harder!” Antenora shouted. A moment later, J. collapsed too. Celinra and Akbar failed a few seconds later, managing to weakly land on chairs, where they sat, too drained to do anything. But Antenora, Dante and Pandora, the strongest of the seven, stood fast. Dante gritted his teeth, and used all of his might to halt their vehicle. Just as he was about to give up, they hit the earth.
Cataclysm. There was a huge, gut-wrenching…uh…wrench, and everyone was hurled about like puppets. Beds, food containers, the sofa, chairs, the table and Akbar hit the ceiling almost simultaneously, whilst Celinra and Pandora almost killed each other when their heads violently collided with a sick thud. Dante and Antenora held each tightly as they hit the walls. J. flew into the air and landed, luckily, on a sofa cushion and Ennui, amazingly, managed, somehow, to stay seated on the sofa which also managed to, amazingly, somehow, stay on the floor. There was a moment of perfect silence, and then the beds, food containers, sofa, chairs, table and Akbar rained down onto the floor, whilst everyone lay stunned, or, in Ennui’s case, sat stunned. Then, simultaneously, everyone blacked out.
The first to awaken was Ennui, who only had a slight bruise on the back of his head from hitting the sofa on impact. Akbar had only hit the ceiling lightly, and managed to soften his fall by using the last dregs of the Code he still had within him. Dante had copped most of the damage from protecting Antenora, who was mostly unharmed, and J. was pretty unhurt too. Celinra and Pandora had got it worst, and were bleeding profusely from their heads, where they had hit each other. They awoke last. Ennui felt incredibly tired, but managed to get up. “Wake up!” He managed to croak, before he fell back onto the couch. His feeble attempt at waking the others managed to rouse J. who sat up suddenly. She stood, felt dizzy, and staggered over to Akbar. “Wake up, sleepy!” She slurred and shook him. He awoke a moment later. Antenora, across the room, woke up too. She disentangled herself from Dante, then fetched a pillow from him. His back was rather bruised, but he hadn’t broken any bones. Ennui attempted to stand again, and stumbled over to Pandora and Celinra. For a moment he thought they where dead, for there was quite a bit of blood pooled around them, but he saw them breathe, so he sat down beside them, and tried to rouse them. They refused to wake, so he headed towards the kitchen, where, amazingly, a jar of coffee beans had managed to survive. He also managed to make himself a coffee, but spilled most of it on his return to the main room. He then sat on the sofa, sipping the coffee (which was too hot) and inspecting the damage around him.
It took the Intelecteers two full days to recover*.
*They where aided by a doctor who healed Pandora and Celinra, and de-bruised Dante. They paid him with the rest of the money from the barracks. Keep reading to find out more about that.
But, luckily for them, Derik was still hard at work browsing the archives of the Haxx0rs, so they still had time. PJ was also browsing the archives, but he was looking for some cool new Dark Side techniques to learn. Ennui, who was rather persuasive, managed to sell the barracks to an art collector. He had claimed the twisted metal and the miniature crater it was in was very artistic. Besides, how many Imperial Battle Ship Barracks does one come across in a lifetime? Ennui got quite a bit of money for it, and used it to purchase a small net-ship, some supplies, and to pay the doctor. On the third day, they where all set, and they hopped into Ennui’s ship, dubbed “The SS Anwen” which was scrawled on the side in felt tip pen. Then they blasted off. By this time, halfway across the Internet, Derik and PJ where just landing on BSam’s resting place.
And so Derik’s ship landed on a small site known as “BSam’s Brewery” and began the ritual to open the door to the brewery. The Intelecteers, a lot closer now, sensed the great Code power at work and hastily sped towards the site. BSam was a valuable ally, and they couldn’t afford to lose him. And so the stage was conveniently set for the final confrontation of good and evil in this Episode.
PJ's thoughts: I liked this one. A lot. It's the only one that has no fighting, and I dunno, it's quite refreshing. This could be the best, in my opinion.
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Post by Dante on Jun 21, 2005 6:30:44 GMT -5
I agree. It might be your best. It was good, through and through. And it had plot. *See Divided, by Dante Rubens. Or just keep reading. My story is much more interesting anyways. Well, somebody just got crossed off the invite list to my birthday party.
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Post by PJ on Jun 21, 2005 6:32:55 GMT -5
*See Divided, by Dante Rubens. Or just keep reading. My story is much more interesting anyways. Well, somebody just got crossed off the invite list to my birthday party. Good. I never really liked BSam anyways. And after your PChar scene, I had to do SOMETHING.
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Post by Ennui on Jun 21, 2005 6:33:40 GMT -5
Excellent work, PJ. Have we seen the last of Jacques?
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Antenora
Detriment Deleter
Fiendish Philologist
Put down that harpoon gun, in the name of these wonderful birds!
Posts: 15,891
Likes: 113
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Post by Antenora on Jun 21, 2005 6:37:02 GMT -5
I liked the bit about us all being hippies, and the Divided allusion.
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Post by PJ on Jun 21, 2005 6:38:14 GMT -5
Excellent work, PJ. Have we seen the last of Jacques? Indeed, we have. For this episode at least. I might put him in the other ones, but I doubt it.
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Post by Celinra on Jun 21, 2005 11:55:14 GMT -5
I like this chapter. Even though I'm starting to feel like I'm being abused. But oh well.
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Post by BSam on Jun 21, 2005 20:17:20 GMT -5
Well, someboddy just got crossed off the invite list to my birthday party. Good. I never really liked BSam anyways. And after your PChar scene, I had to do SOMETHING. me neither i can see why you're off to kill him
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Post by Charles Vane on Jun 21, 2005 22:40:58 GMT -5
Yay.
You have an ego, fill in some good complements about yourself here: _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Also, yay.
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Post by PJ on Jun 23, 2005 6:23:06 GMT -5
And god said to PJ: "Thou shalte poste the laste entry of Net-Wars." And PJ replied "It shall be done!"
Entry Eight
The large stone door which led to the interior of the brewery had four letters on it: BSAM. Strangely enough, they glowed with a white light, and weren’t carved nor painted onto the door. They where just there. PJ admired the nice Code-work BSam had done on the door, before he began to help Derik break down the wards. The site they where on was very barren. It was very small, and had a dusty brown-ish floor, like a desert. The only building was the brewery. There was nothing else, no animals, plants. Nothing. After about ten minutes of silly-looking chanting and waving of hands and other such nonsense, the glowing B faded away. PJ took this as a good sign, and kept breaking down the wards. They where very complex; it would take quite a while to unravel them all. Unfortunately, for the Haxx0rz, that is, just after the “A” disappeared, and three quarters of the wards had been deleted, the SS Anwen landed on the small site, and Derik cursed profusely. He sensed the Intelecteers within. He turned to PJ, furious. “I thought you said they where dead!” PJ looked puzzled. “They where! Unless they somehow got into the barracks and they randomly happened to land on a planet, they should be dead!” Derik glared at him. “So why did you give them that one chance?” PJ shrugged. “Wouldn’t have been much of a story if I hadn’t. Besides, I was too lazy. I figured the reward outweighed the risk. Well, we can handle them.” “No we can’t.” Derik pointed out. “Well, I’ll call for back-up then. We just need to stall them for a few minutes.” He grabbed his radio-device and ordered all available units to come to BSam’s resting place immediately.
The door to the Intelecteer’s net-ship opened with a hiss, and the seven Intelecteers stormed out, lightsabers ready. Dante took the lead and warily led them towards their enemies, who tried to look casual, by leaning against the walls of the brewery. “So.” PJ said. “So.” Dante replied. The Intelecteers fanned out, forming a half-circle around the Haxx0r lords. They had nowhere to run. “So you survived, then?” Derik asked, casually. His lightsaber was still in his robes. “Yeah. We did.” Dante answered. “Using the barracks and then landing on some random planet?” Dante nodded. Everyone seemed rather awkward. “So, any last words, then?” Akbar asked, holding his lightsaber tightly. PJ shrugged. “We were hoping to stall you for a while.” He said. “Or something.” Dante seemed surprised. “Uh, PJ, you’re not supposed to tell us you’re stalling us. It’s just not done in these situations.” PJ shrugged. “I’m a rebel.” J. suddenly had a strange-sounding coughing fit. Tears ran from her eyes. She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She said, still giggling. Dante seemed unsure what he should do. Derik and PJ where hardly suicidal, which meant they had set some trap of a kind. Some trap that would be set off once they where attacked….but how? PJ couldn’t have known about their miraculous escape. Or could he?
Dante glanced over to Ennui, who had a troubled expression on his face. He was thinking the exact same thing as Dante. “So what do we do?” Ennui finally asked. “Let us cut them down where they stand. Honestly, I thought we were passed the morality of killing them.” Akbar said, confused. “No, it’s not that.” Antenora said. “They don’t seem to be resisting, which means their planning something. Maybe we’re stepping into a trap or something. In fact, those two in front of us could be holograms, like PJ did on that Battle Ship.” “Nope. We’re real.” PJ said, and pinched himself, just to be sure. Over the next ten minutes, the Intelecteers debated over what they should do. “Has it ever occurred to you,” PJ finally said, “That we really are defenseless and that you could have cut us down if you wanted and there would have been no negative repercussions? We were just waiting for reinforcements.” Dante processed this for about two and a half seconds before he took a chance and leapt at the Haxx0r lords. Derik and PJ, however, where ready, and they sent a Code blast at the Intelecteers around them, hurling them away. Just then a large Imperial ship landed on the site and a bunch of Vists came charging towards them.
Ennui evaluated the situation, and made a decision. “Akbar, J, Pandora and Celinra, go and hold back the Vists. Dante, Antenora and I will take care of these two.” The Haxx0r lords lightsabers lighted up, as the three leading members of 667 approached them. Just as Ennui had planned the battle, so had Derik. “PJ,” he whispered to his apprentice “Hold of Dante while I deal with the other two.” PJ nodded and headed for Dante, whilst Derik headed for the other two. At that moment, the other four Intelecteers attacked the Vists, and so the battle for the supremacy of the Internet began.
Derik began the battle as he done in his last one, by splitting himself into two. Antenora received the Code side, and a traditional old-school lightning battle took place. The Right Derik had the lightsaber ability, and this battle was far more interesting. Ennui was a master with the blade, but the right Derik kept a little of the Code in himself, so he was able to match Ennui’s superior skill quite easily.
A few meters from the Intelecteers/Haxx0rz, the other four Intelecteers held the seemingly endless flood of Vists at bay. Akbar ducked a laser shot, and then reflected another right back onto a Vist. His arms where tired from the constant swinging and slashing, and he hoped the stream of Viruses would soon end. The Vists where hardly a match against the superior skills of the Intelecteers, but since the Intelecteers where hopelessly outnumbered, there was a balance of sorts. Celinra, however, deprived of anything to kill in the years spent on The Quiet World, was having enormous fun with her dual sabers, leaping to and fro, dancing about, dodging laser bursts all the while carving up the viruses. J., Walter and Captiosus where a team, helping each other out when they needed it, and watching each others backs. Walter, for instance, would dive down at a Vist, which gave J. the opportunity to impale it with her uber-cool black lightsaber, whilst Captiosus mauled a Vist who had tried to sneak up on her. Finally the flood of Vists came to a halt, and Akbar gave a sigh of relief. Then four E-Vists stomped their way down the landing ramp and cracked their whips in a menacing way.
Back at the Ranch (or the brewery) PJ and Dave held their own against Dante. The red-headed knight was furiously slashing at PJ, eager to help his beloved Antenora. Plus, he didn’t like PJ. Dante beat Dave away and ducked PJ’s slash, then slashed up at his opponent, grazing the Haxx0r lord’s shoulder. PJ gritted his teeth and backed away. Dante smiled. Hurting people was fun. PJ’s frown turned into a grin as he realized this was the perfect time to do something incredibly cool and ominous. “You know, I never before realized the potential of the Haxx0r library. Neither, apparently, does my master. But recently I have made quite a few amazingly useful discoveries.” PJ’s grin broadened. “Observe.” He closed his eyes and his face screwed up in concentration. Dante’s eyes widened as PJ’s shoulder scratch began to close. PJ opened his eyes and his grin broadened even more when he saw Dante’s surprise. Dante took a step forwards, saber held ready. “A nice trick, PJ, but it just means I get to cut you a lot more before you die.” PJ ignored this remark and held his smile. “Well Dante, I think you’re going to learn a very valuable lesson today.” Dante took another step forwards, saber twitching slightly in anticipation. PJ, annoyed that Dante hadn’t asked what this lesson would be, continued nonetheless. “Never, ever forget about Dave.” Dante turned as the spoon dived at him, and ducked. The spoon altered its course slightly and cut into the side of Dante’s head, wounding him slightly. Blood mingled with his red hair. His expression darkened. He was angry. He leapt at PJ with a roar and swung at the Haxx0r with renewed strength, speed and vigor. Dante was happy to see a glint of fear in his opponents eyes.
Antenora cursed herself for her stupidity. She only now realized what she should do. Her lightning-battle with the Left Derik had continued on without any new developments, when she realized that she was doing it all wrong. The Left Derik had great Code-manipulating skills, like Antenora. But, she soon realized he would have little or not lightsaber skills at all. So she sent a particularly powerful lightning bolt hurtling at Derik’s head and then she leapt aside. The Left Derik was momentarily caught off-guard by the move, and his lightning bolt hit the door of BSam’s Brewery with tremendous power, shacking the entire brewery. Inside, BSam stirred slightly. Antenora then fired up her lightsaber, which was a cool silver colour. The Left Derik realized that she had discovered its weakness, and it leapt aside as Antenora swung at it with her saber. She chased after it, swinging wildly with her weapon, but missing every time. The Left Derik then launched itself into the air and flew up high, out of reach. Antenora’s eyes narrowed. She wasn’t going to be beaten by half of Derik! She leapt up into the sky and chased after the Haxx0r. The two sped across the sky, and Derik tried his best to shake the Intelecteer, but Antenora now had the upper hand and didn’t want to loose her prey. Had anyone bothered to watch the two, they would have been amazed. It was dark, so Derik was a dark shadow and Antenora’s lightsaber illuminated her, and she looked like an avenging angel chasing a demon. It was quite a poetic collection of moments; it would have made a very nice painting.
Ennui’s and Derik’s fight was kinda boring, Derik was more powerful, but Ennui still managed to hold his own for a few minutes. So I’ll tell you about the battle with the Vists instead. Each Intelecteer attacked one of the Elite Vists. Akbar dodged the whip with quite a bit of skill before he was able to drive his saber into the Viruses body. J. was being practical and simply held the creature still with her power and then killed it. Celinra held its whip down with one hand, and struck the creature down with her other, whilst Pandora simply dodged the whip and impaled it in one swift movement. They had a moments respite before another ship landed and the flood of Vists continued.
And now we come to the interesting part of this entire battle. Ennui, who had been having trouble holding back Derik was the first to fall; Derik knocked him down and hit him in the side with the saber, wounding the valiant Intelecteer and thereby throwing him out of the fight. But, for all you Ennui-fans out there, don’t be alarmed, this warrior lives to fight another day. The Right Derik, now free of an opponent, leapt up and joined with his other half to create the full Derik, and Antenora’s chase was cut short. The tables turned and it was Antenora who was now the victim. She too fought bravely and strongly, but she simply could not hold of the Dark Lord himself, without any help. After a short, but intense battle, the Intelecteer was thrown to the floor from a great height, and she too had to throw in the towel*. Derik turned to Dante to find, to his disappointment, that his apprentice was about to be impaled by a very angry Dante. He hurled the Intelecteer aside and engaged him in combat, leaving PJ to dust himself off and heal his wounds.
*Pardon the pun. Colin and Corax had started their fight again, and conveniently kept on fighting for the entire duration of the battle on BSam’s Brewery. Translation: I forgot about him until this moment, and am too lazy to add him.
So roughly at this time the remaining four Intelecteers (not counting Dante) had just finished off the next wave of Vists and another batch of E-Vists. Exhausted, they stumbled back to the brewery where PJ took advantage of their weakened state and knocked them all out. By this time Dante and Derik where still fighting, but Derik was clearly winning. Dante was putting up a surprising resistance; but it was simply not enough. But all of a sudden, Dante perked up. PJ saw, a moment later, why. Antenora and Ennui, unable to physically fight, where giving Dante all their remaining Code-power. “Master! Their lending him their strength!” Dante attacked with new vigor and Derik was driven back. “I know!” He shouted, frustrated, as Akbar, J., Pandora and Celinra, who, by this time had awoken (conveniently) , but like Ennui and Antenora, where in no condition to fight, lent their energy to Dante, who was by now clearly winning his battle. Derik leapt back and turned off his lightsaber. He lifted his hands and sent the generic lightning bolts at Dante who, generically, absorbed them in his hand. PJ, seeing an opportunity, went around the struggling pair and sent his own lightning at Dante’s other side. The Intelecteer groaned and raised his other hand, and absorbed those too. Caught between the two Haxx0r lords, it took the combined might of all the Intelecteers still alive (save two) to hold the deadly bolts of lightning at bay.
In a surprising twist, Dante DIDN’T somehow send the lightning bolts back at his enemies, rather, he fell to his knees, and ceased fighting. The lightning stopped and Derik hurled Dante away, where he landed beside his friends. All of the Intelecteers where now in no condition to fight at all. A smile crossed Derik’s face. But, as always in such situations, something incredibly spiffy happened. You see, there had been no such concentration of Code since the days of 667. Always the Intelecteers had been split up. But now they had all banded together, and all of the Haxx0r lords had shown up as well. And the dormant being who was a mere twenty meters from this concentration of Code couldn’t help feeling something. And so, after many, many, many, many years, BSam finally awoke with an absolutely massive hangover. So massive was it, that he passed out for another five minutes. When he awoke for the second time, he stood and stumbled towards the door, just as outside, Dante was defeated. He hit the door and moaned softly, and then he felt the wards he himself had placed upon it. He was rather surprised that three quarter of them where gone, but he shrugged it off and brushed the remaining quarter aside. Outside, the “M” faded away, but no one saw it happen. Then BSam reached back and smashed his fist as hard as he could against the stone door, shattering it to bits and scaring the hell out of PJ, who shouted and ducked as bits of stone showered him.
BSam stumbled into the brightness* and howled.
*Moonlight is pretty bright if you’ve slept for many years.
“Who is that?” Derik said, peering into the dust-cloud. “It’s Jacques!” Ennui shouted, suddenly regaining consiousness. “Boo!” He shouted. “PJ said you died!” Suddenly BSam stumbled out from the dust cloud and moaned. “Oh.” Ennui said, cut. Derik simply stared. “How unexpected!” He said. Those amongst the Intelecteers who where still conscious gave a small cheer. “I so did not see this coming!” PJ said, and took a step back. “Deeeeerrrriiiiiik.” BSam moaned, and lurched towards the Dark Lord. “You’re baaaaad!” He exclaimed, and he fumbled in his robe. Eventually, he pulled out a dusty lightsaber. “No! BSam! I’m good! It’s PJ that’s gone bad! Really! Kill PJ!” BSam had some trouble finding the switch, but finally his saber lit up…pointing downwards. BSam turned his lightsaber around and looked at PJ. “He’s.” He said, but more intelligibly. He then approached Derik, holding his lightsaber as one would a club. Derik then attacked the Intelecteer, hoping to catch him off guard. BSam simply stepped aside with more speed than PJ thought was possible for anything living to reach. Derik swung again and BSam dodged the saber easily. Derik then slashed back and forth several times, but each time BSam stepped aside or ducked. BSam then swung his saber like a club and Derik held the lightsaber with his own. He held it with two hands, but BSam, using his single hand, pressed down, and ripped Derik’s weapon out of his hands. PJ took another step back. Derik sent a bolt of lightning at the Intelecteer, but BSam returned it and sent Derik flying backwards. He walked up to Derik who lay dazed in the dust. BSam raised his lightsaber. “No!” Derik shouted, as BSam plunged the lightsaber in his stomach. Derik however, didn’t plan on dying. He struggled wildly. BSam stood, leaving his lightsaber in Derik, and turned to the others. “We need to ban him. He’s too strong to be deleted. Come help me.” He said, or the equivalent in BSam-ish. Suddenly, BSam was roughly shoved aside. PJ leapt at Derik, and grabbed his master’s head in his hands. “My last…legacy.” Derik coughed, and closed his eyes. Small sparks of green electricity leapt between PJ’s fingers and Derik’s head. Dante, who had just stumbled there with Antenora, shouted “He’s absorbing Derik’s Code-Energy! Stop him or he’ll be too powerful to defeat!” BSam swung his hand and slapped PJ hard, sending him flying. But the damage had been done; PJ’s powers had been increased, just as Derik’s had been depleted. Derik, now to weak to escape, simply lay there.
PJ tried to crawl away, but BSam grabbed him by the leg and yanked him back. PJ may be more powerful, but he was still no match for BSam. His face went very, very pale. Dante and Antenora surrounded the Haxx0r lord, limping. “Thought you could get away, eh?” Dante said, a mean grin on his face. PJ gulped. “I still do!” He said, and then he vanished. Dante was rather shocked, but then something invisible violently shoved him aside and he fell over. “He’s invisible!” He shouted and pointed in the direction that PJ had gone. BSam turned and scanned the area, but saw nothing. “He said he learned some new abilities from the Haxx0r library.” Dante explained, looking around wildly for the enemy. Suddenly the Haxx0r ship fired up and lifted up. A mean-looking cannon swung down and fired three concentrated laser blasts as the three ships on the site, temporarily disabling them. Then the ship sped off. “Blasted Haxx0r!” Dante shouted, waving his fist.
“Well, there’s still one Haxx0r lord we can take care of.” The trio stumbled back to the Derik, and formed a triangle around him. “By the power of the internet, I ban you!” The three Intelecteers chanted and Derik shouted, before he started to turn grey. A moment later, a statue was all that remained. “Let’s put him in the brewery.” Dante suggested, and BSam nodded. He picked up the statue and lugged it into his brewery. A moment later he came out again, with many cans of beer in his arms.
Well, I guess there isn’t much left to say. The Intelecteers eventually fixed their ship, but by that time PJ had gotten away. They all healed fine. They also vowed that PJ would be brought to justice. And so, rather lamely, ends this episode of Net-Wars, with the eight Intelecteers staring mysteriously at the beautiful sunset of BSam’s Brewery. “Well,” BSam says, sipping a beer, “This ending sure does suck.” Dante nods wisely. “Yes. Yes it does.”
THE END
“That’s it?” A little girl asked. “What kind of an ending is that?” She asked, annoyed. The other children where equally annoyed. “What about PJ? And Amber? And that random biro? How can it end like that?” “Well, that’s only Episode One. There’s still more of the story left.” “Well, can you read us some more?” The old man shook his head. “Not tonight. I’m sure you have something else to do.” The children shook their heads. “Well, I guess I can’t leave you hanging, can I?” He licked his wrinkled old fingers, and turned the page.
PJ's thoughts: This is the longest one so far. Meh. I liked the last entry better. But this is my anniverary to 667, so pretend this last part is meaningful and cool.
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Post by Dante on Jun 23, 2005 6:33:07 GMT -5
“Well,” BSam says, sipping a beer, “This ending sure does suck.” Dante nods wisely. “Well, in many ways that's true. But it did wrap up the story nicely while setting up the next Episode and leaving just the right amount of loose ends hanging. And it's PJ's anniversary or something, so we're not allowed to insult him, no matter how big-headed he gets. So you see, it's actually really good.”
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Antenora
Detriment Deleter
Fiendish Philologist
Put down that harpoon gun, in the name of these wonderful birds!
Posts: 15,891
Likes: 113
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Post by Antenora on Jun 23, 2005 6:34:03 GMT -5
I like my collection of poetic moments.
And, happy anniversary.
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Post by Celinra on Jun 23, 2005 8:14:20 GMT -5
Celinra, however, deprived of anything to kill in the years spent on The Quiet World, was having enormous fun with her dual sabers, leaping to and fro, dancing about, dodging laser bursts all the while carving up the viruses. I liked this part. *other compliments go here*
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