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Post by Celinra on Sept 1, 2005 20:53:06 GMT -5
Celly, you are loff *glomps* *glomps back* *awaits the next chapter* *has nothing else relevent to add*
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Post by deanna. on Sept 2, 2005 13:17:41 GMT -5
That is so awesome!! I laughed when St. Walburga's Cathedral was mentioned. I really like James' part in the story as the caring older brother; I wish my older brother was like that!
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Post by champ103 on Sept 6, 2005 11:57:39 GMT -5
I'm back with the fifth, and pretty short, installment of 'Factory', in which an awful lot of people stand corrected. Now I was planning on making this chapter go right up until the six children enter the factory, but changed my mind for two (or should I say, a and b?) reasons.
a, it would have taken longer for this chapter to come up
b, the main reason, I really liked it where it ended
So just enjoy! (:
Factory, part five
5 ‘In which an awful lot of people stand corrected.’
‘But Miss,’ Kimia said quietly, her eyes fixed on the golden page in her hands, not reading the small print, but a variety of thoughts running through her head. She failed to break into a smile-something in the way in her mind was blocking it. Kimia sighed. ‘All the golden pages have been found-the five of them. This is a sixth, a fake.’ Miss Antenora looked shocked if not slightly hurt. ‘I disagree, Kimia,’ she said politely. ‘This one is completely authentic-do you really think a responsible figure like me would forge my own?’ Kimia shrugged, but shook her head afterwards. ‘No, I wouldn’t have thought so,’ she replied. ‘But how are there six then?’ ‘Well, just because this one here was found last doesn’t mean that it’s the fake one,’ Miss Antenora explained carefully. ‘But it is rather strange-I think that maybe one of those other children made their own.’ ‘But-‘ Kimia tried. ‘They were all horrible children, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least,’ Miss Antenora continued, getting worked up over the thoughts that were coming out of her mouth. ‘But-‘ Kimia tried again. ‘But who? One of those five is a cheat, a fraud, a committer of forgery! We’d better report the police, Kimia,’ Miss Antenora rolled on. ‘No!’ Kimia cried. ‘How could they forge a golden page? They hadn’t seen what was on it, and I’m sure officials would have had a look.’ Miss Antenora seemed to ponder the idea for a moment and then smiled and shrugged. ‘I guess you’re right,’ she said. ‘But don’t think that you’re not a winner too. As long as you have that golden page, you’re a winner with the rest of them.’ Kimia smiled, and even as she turned to leave the classroom, looked down at the golden page, holding it using two hands. ‘Bye Aunty Nora,’ Kimia said with a smile. ‘And, thank you.’ She smiled and took a sigh. ‘So much.’ ‘No problem, Kimia,’ Miss Antenora said with a quick wave as her student left the classroom.
- 'Mum!’ Kimia cried as she rushed in through the front door of her house, not shutting it behind her. ‘Kimia, what’s wrong?’ James asked, as he sat on a sofa reading the newspaper. ‘Nothing!’ Kimia cried, and waved the golden page around his eyes. ‘I got one! I got a golden page!’ ‘Kimia,’ James said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. ‘I think you mind be having delusions of grandeur…’ Kimia snatched herself away from his hand. ‘And I think you’re wrong!’ she cried. ‘My teacher found one, and she gave to me. Look at it-it’s real, no doubt!’ She waved it at him again, before pulling it back into her grip as she began to read out loud. ‘LUCKY FINDER OF ONE OF LEMONY SNICKET’S GOLDEN PAGES,’ she read out. ‘You have found one of five of these pages, only five in the world-‘ ‘Wait, wait, hold up,’ James interrupted. ‘That’s just it. There are FIVE golden pages. Five! And they’ve all been found: PJ Thomas, Pandora Morose, Shruti Scipio, Michael Tee, and Derik Q. Beaulieu. Your “page” is the sixth.’ Kimia shrugged. ‘But it’s real-how can it be a fake?’ she asked, and looked down at it to continue. James sighed. ‘On the 5th of March, you, along with the four other winners will enter the secrets of Lemony Snickets factory. Plane tickets are arranged to the nearest airport, where you will need to be found outside the gates on nine o’clock in the morning on the said date. Mister Snicket looks forward to meeting you.’ ‘I-‘ James muttered. ‘Kimia, how can this be? Either that one’s a fake, or someone else’s is.’ ‘Or there was a mix up with the tickets,’ Kimia suggested. James shook his head. ‘It’s too big a thing to mix up, Kimia,’ he insisted. ‘And besides, Mister Snicket is a professional.’ ‘Mister Snicket didn’t print them out himself!’ Kimia cried. ‘What do I need to say to convince you?’ She sighed, and handed it to him. James looked at it, observing the golden page in every way possible. ‘Do you really think I’d forge a golden page?’ ‘Not one this realistic’ James joked with a shrug as he gazed at the shining page. ‘Well…contact the press, Kimia. Let them know that one more page has been found.’ - And half an hour later, Kimia found herself bombarded with newspaper journalists, camera men, and other people who were thrusting notebooks forward eagerly. Kimia tried to remain polite and happy during it all, even when all the flashing cameras clogged up her eyes. ‘So, when does this air?’ she asked someone quietly. ‘We’re live,’ someone with a camera replied. Kimia thought she heard a slight groan of ‘oh, we don’t air until next Tuesday’ from someone else, but she ignored it and continued asking questions. She was standing outside her house, where James had found it comical to watch her on the television live, giving the occasional wave to the camera. Some of the people in front of Kimia were holding mugs of tea, which her mother had insisted they have. Kimia felt slightly embarrassed when they all took their mugs from her, but she had decided that it shouldn’t go in the way. ‘So, why did you forge a page?’ someone asked. ‘Were you that desperate?’ It was the first question, and Kimia frowned. ‘I didn’t forge it,’ Kimia explained. ‘My teacher found it in her copy of the book, and she gave it to me.’ There was a slight pause and a click of a camera. ‘So, why did your teacher forge the page?’ was the next question. ‘She didn’t forge it either,’ Kimia explained, and held it up. ‘It’s authentic.’ ‘Pfft, don’t fool yourself kid,’ someone cried out. ‘The five golden pages have been found.’ Kimia raised an eyebrow. ‘I know,’ she murmured. ‘So, why’d you forge it?’ someone asked. ‘I’ve said before, I didn’t!’ Kimia cried, getting a little angry. ‘This is the sixth ticket, and I suggest you leave until you are convinced of that.’ In Australia, PJ Thomas was watching-his mother, who was chuckling away at the television had awoken him to tell him that someone had made up a ticket. ‘Mother,’ he murmured. ‘Who does this girl think she is? I mean, come on, seriously, who would…’ In America, Pandora Morose was preparing for bed, and watching a last moment of television before doing so. Anything to do with Lemony Snicket’s pages was something she wanted to view. ‘…do such a stupid thing?’ she was crying. Her mother gave a shrug as she tried to usher her daughter away from the television. ‘I really don’t know,’ Mrs. Morose replied with a shrug. ‘I do!’ Pandora screamed. ‘Someone who was…’ In another part of America, Shruti Scipio was not preparing for bed at all, but sitting in her room with a magazine, curious as Kimia blazed over on her television. ‘Out of their mind, this England girl,’ she muttered as her father, Akbar, entered the room. ‘What?’ he asked as he sat down on the end of her bed. Shruti put the magazine down. ‘Forged a golden page,’ she murmured. ‘A sixth, mysterious one apparently. How…’ ‘Curious,’ said Michael Tee, from his cottage in Scotland. He shrugged as the television blazed on. ‘Wouldn’t you say, ma?’ ‘Yes,’ Amber Tee replied, reading a newspaper. ‘I really don’t know what the hell she was…’ ‘Thinking of getting away with this, how stupid!’ Sam Beaulieu cried out, holding a pint of beer in his hand. ‘Hey, Derik? Derik?’ ‘Hmm…’ Derik muttered with a nod, although his ears were being filled with outrageously loud music as he father spoke, and he had no idea what he was agreeing too.
‘Well, that was a complete waste of time,’ Kimia said as the press were leaving, and she had slammed the door shut on her return indoors. ‘No one believes me-everyone thinks I’ve forged a page.’ ‘We know the truth, though,’ James replied, with a smile, as his sister slapped herself down onto the sofa, beside where he was sat. Kimia shook her head. ‘But what good does that do?’ she replied. ‘At this rate I won’t go the factory, and all this excitement over the ticket will be wasted.’ ‘Well, things will turn out okay in the end, I’m sure,’ her mother said, entering the room with mugs of tea for everyone. Kimia thanked her kindly as she was handed one, and took a gulp straight away. Evening was slowly coming upon them, and Kimia was feeling incredibly tired after her day, but the tea gave her the caffeine she was sure she deserved. ‘I doubt it,’ Kimia sighed. ‘Well maybe you ought to start having a little more confidence in the whole situation,’ her mother suggested. ‘All we need to do is go to San Francisco, and show Snicket the golden page, and then he’ll let us in, surely.’ ‘But how are we going to get to San Fransicso?’ Kimia asked. ‘If no one believes us, we can’t get the plane tickets.’ Her mother sat down at the edge of the sofa as usual. ‘We can buy the tickets,’ her mother explained. Kimia shook her head. ‘At that rate we won’t even have the money for food,’ she cried. ‘Plane tickets cost small fortunes from here to America. It’s money that we just don’t have to waste!’ James sighed. ‘She’s right, you know,’ he added, turning his head to their mother, who said nothing. That evening was long and slow, where nobody said much, and nobody did much. They all went to bed early, with nothing much to do in their time awake, yet nothing much to look forward the next day. But when they woke up, with nothing much happening for them, as Kimia was ready to leave for school, she almost tripped over that day’s newspaper on the way out, and picked it up to see the most curious of headlines. ‘GOLDEN PAGE NUMBER SIX AUTHENTIC, SAYS LEMONY SNICKET,’ Kimia cried out happily again when indoors. James and her mother seemed delighted at the news, and James snatched the newspaper from his sister to get a better look. ‘It says that Snicket sent out the message by telegram,’ he explained. ‘He claimed that there were always going to be six winners. He wanted to see who would get one, when they were still buying the books, even after the hype was over.’ ‘I know, I know, I read it!’ Kimia cried, her face blushed with happiness. She began rushing to the door hurriedly, turning her head to grin once more at her family. ‘But if I stay any longer, I’ll miss my bus!’ And with that, she left the cottage and raced to her bus stop. And when she arrived at school, it was the first time anyone wanted to talk to her.
(coming soon: chapter six, in which the gates are opened, and airplanes serve terrible cups of tea)
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Post by Akbar Le Grey on Sept 6, 2005 12:24:30 GMT -5
This is brillaint Dupin! I especially liked the way you displayed the reactions of the other children, just hopping from spot to spot.
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Post by Celinra on Sept 6, 2005 12:36:47 GMT -5
Lovely! I like the reasoning for the 6th ticket. I also like the jumping from sentence to sentence in the reactions, forming complete thoughts when they're combined and such.
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Post by Dante on Sept 6, 2005 13:29:42 GMT -5
I liked what everyone else liked, and the rest as well.
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Antenora
Detriment Deleter
Fiendish Philologist
Put down that harpoon gun, in the name of these wonderful birds!
Posts: 15,891
Likes: 113
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Post by Antenora on Sept 6, 2005 14:27:25 GMT -5
I second the positive comments above me. This is a great story.
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Post by xangelkimzx on Sept 6, 2005 15:28:07 GMT -5
I also second the positive comments above me. This is absolutely brilliant, George! Well done to the maxx.
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Post by s on Sept 6, 2005 15:59:51 GMT -5
I'm sure this is getting quite repetitive by now, but I second the positive comments above as well. Excellent, Dupin.
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Post by BSam on Sept 6, 2005 20:09:02 GMT -5
Just a question.
Are there two Sams in this story? Because in the part on page 3 it claims that Michael Tee's dad is Sam, and on this page his mother is Amber and Deriks dad is Sam.
Apart from this slight inconsistency, I'm rather enjoying this. Good work Dupin.
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Sept 7, 2005 1:30:00 GMT -5
I loved it, for the reasons mentioned above, and I second the praise along with everyone else seconding it.
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Post by champ103 on Sept 7, 2005 10:17:30 GMT -5
Just a question. Are there two Sams in this story? Because in the part on page 3 it claims that Michael Tee's dad is Sam, and on this page his mother is Amber and Deriks dad is Sam. Apart from this slight inconsistency, I'm rather enjoying this. Good work Dupin. There's one Sam, and the error occured in part four: Sam's name is in fact Sam Beaulieu, and Amber is Michael's mother. If you check the prethread, you can see the plans. (:
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