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Post by deanna. on Sept 14, 2005 23:03:52 GMT -5
That's really good! I haven't really read any of your stories before, Orangey, but I really like it. ;D I'm stoked for the Part Twoeth!
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Post by PJ on Sept 14, 2005 23:42:31 GMT -5
It's cool. Try writing it in word, first.
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Post by Carma on Sept 15, 2005 6:33:54 GMT -5
Very good. It was funny too.
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Post by Dante on Sept 15, 2005 11:53:28 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that you lost the whole first part. If that'd happened to me I'd probably just have given up; I hate repeating things.
But this is really good and well-written. I like it, and look forward to reading more.
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Sept 15, 2005 12:30:29 GMT -5
Good job. Several parts of the story were pretty funny, and I look forward to seeing Dante and Antenora the munchkins.
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Post by Celinra on Sept 16, 2005 11:53:16 GMT -5
Darn right I'd take ToJ to the sherrif if she bit my katana!
I mean, good story so far, it's well written and quite humorous.
Also, I second PJ's advice about writing it in Word, first!
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Jan 17, 2006 0:02:49 GMT -5
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be bumping threads this old, but I just randomly decided to get on writers to finish their stories. So, Orangey, write more if you can. Please? Now that 667 Factor's practically over, you'll hopefully have time to do this. And if you don't finish it, at least write the part with Glinda in it
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Post by Akbar Le Grey on Jan 17, 2006 8:23:08 GMT -5
Yes, Orangey. I'll be starting my new story review columnj this week. *hint*
Oh, to hell with hints! Write more!
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Post by Libitina on Jan 17, 2006 19:18:45 GMT -5
I thought this was basically forgotten. I was frustrated after the first chapter because I lost the whole thing and had to rewrite it...Anyway, let me do my algebra homework, and then I'll update this post with more, I suppose. Thanks for wanting me to do so; 'tis inspiring.
Edit: Okay, I confess. American Idol distracted me. I'll write another part tomorrow during computer class.
Edit again: Finally, here is a bit. I'll post as much as I can. Part Twoeth:
Panothy fell back onto her bed, unconscious from the window's blow to her head. ToJ barked wildly, trying to wake her up, but it was useless. Dreams swirled through the girl's head even as her aunt and uncle shouted for her to join them in the storm cellar. In her state of senselessness, Panothy saw the faces of everyone she knew and felt the house lift from the ground. All of a sudden, Aunt Carma was rocking in her favorite chair--outside the window. "ToJ!" Panothy exclaimed, leaping off the bed. "We must be in the middle of a twister!" She rushed to the window as her aunt twirled out of sight. Uncle D.D. blew in after her, hammer in his hand. He waved cheerfully to Panothy. Despite her confusion, she waved back. The farmhands swirled in next, arguing with one another. Upon seeing Panothy, however, they stopped and grinned at her. However, these three were blown away quickly, followed by Miss Cel. She looked especially frightening in the twister. As she rode her bicycle outside the window, she transformed into a hideous witch with green skin, flying on a polished katana. Cackling, Miss Cel flew out of Panothy's view.
Suddenly, the house fell to the ground with a small thud. Panothy took a deep breath and tried to clear her head. This was difficult, however, due to the fact that ToJ persisted in continuing to bark. Panothy kicked her. At last, Panothy decided that there was nothing else to do but go outside and discover where she was. Smoothing her skirt and brushing her hair back, she opened the door. "Goodness!" she cried immediately. "Color! ToJ, we must be over the rainbow. Nothing has color in Kansas! I'm sure that no one will claim I'm making up stories here, like they did in Kansas." ToJ heaved the biggest sigh that was possible for a dog, rather disgusted in Panothy's cheerful manner. Panothy did not notice, and rushed over to a bed of bright red flowers. Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She wheeled around to face a woman dressed in a beautiful yellow dress that trailed beyond her ankles. A tall crown sat atop her head.
"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" the woman asked urgently. She did not bother with a "hello". Panothy glanced around nervously.
"Who, me?" she inquired. The woman nodded. "Why, I'm not a witch at all. I'm Panothy Gale, from Kansas." The woman bit her lip.
"Not a witch?" She gestured toward ToJ. "Is she the witch, then?"
"No, no," Panothy replied. "This is my dog, ToJ." ToJ barked happily.
"Well, one of you has to be a witch," the woman insisted. "Someone has just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of Azel. There's the house, and here you are, and that's all that's left of the Wicked Witch of Azel." Panothy gazed in the direction where the woman pointed, where her house had landed. She screamed as she saw two leg's crushed underneath it.
"I didn't mean to kill anybody!" she squeaked. She stopped and thought for a moment. "Who are you, anyway?"
"I am Linda, the Good Witch of the North," the woman replied with a laugh. "Don't worry about dropping your house on the Witch of Azel, dear."
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Jan 17, 2006 23:19:44 GMT -5
Yes, victory! I should have done this earlier.
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Post by Charles Vane on Jan 17, 2006 23:31:26 GMT -5
This was an interesting first part, I liked it. I guess I didn't see it earlier. It's weird that Cel is not on my side. Now I'll have to destroy her.
(American Idol is pretty cool.)
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Jan 23, 2006 12:07:12 GMT -5
Orangey, you should have made a new post. No one realized there'd been an update. I'm sure that no one will claim I'm making up stories here, like they did in Kansas was absolutely wonderful.
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Post by Libitina on Mar 18, 2006 14:45:41 GMT -5
At last, an update! You can thank Linda for making me write this. I'm a lazy sod who can't get anything done, and she kept reminding me to write it...Finally, I had time, and here is the rest of Part Twoeth.
"I am Linda, the Good Witch of the North," the woman replied with a laugh. "Don't worry about dropping your house on the Witch of Azel, dear." Panothy gaped at her. Not worry about killing someone? How was that possible? She hadn’t dropped the house; the twister had.
“You don’t understand, madame,” Panothy offered. “I didn’t drop my house. “You see, it was picked up by a twister, which is how I got here…Where am I, anyway?” Linda chuckled again. She had a natural pleasant and kind manner about her which Panothy had noticed right away.
“My dear, you are in Munchkinland in the great nation of Oz,” she replied. Panothy was confused. This wasn’t normal. Back in Kansas, she caught on to most things before everyone else. She had never heard of a place called Oz before, much less a land devoted to Munchkins--weren’t they those donut holes they sold at Dunkin’ Donuts? Was this whole city just something to promote a donut shop? Of all places, why would she be transported here? Panothy bit her lip as she wondered if Mother Nature thought she was fat. Linda noticed her puzzled look. “Munchkins are small people who live in this city,” she explained. “For years, they have been tortured by that cruel witch. Now that you have freed them from her, you are their national heroine.” With a smile, she called for the Munchkins to come out. They had been hiding in the bushes and flowerbeds, just in case Panothy wasn’t the heroine she appeared to be.
The Munchkins were quite short. With the news of the dead witch, they were all dancing with each other and buzzing with excitement. They seemed to be charged with electricity as they cheered the death of the Wicked Witch of Azel. A few of the Munchkins came up to Panothy to shake her hand before the mayor of Munchkinland cleared his throat to proclaim the witch’s death. ToJ growled at him. “I, Mayor Targpants of Munchkinland, would like to confirm the death of the Wicked Witch of Azel. Judge Dante, if you please?” he said, motioning towards the body. The official-looking Munchkin with fiery red hair nodded and checked the witch’s pulse to validate what everyone already knew. He nodded once more towards an older man dressed entirely in dark blue. Panothy admired his strange-looking hat.
The man blew on a long horn and read off from a large scroll that a younger Munchkin had given him. “I, Kobolos, the Coroner of Munchkinland, hereby confirm that the Wicked Witch of Azel is dead. She’s not only merely dead, she’s really most sincerely dead!” He handed the document to Mayor Targpants to be signed as another Munchkin (the place was crawling with them) began a cheer for Panothy. She blushed and acknowledged their cheers with a nervous smile. Suddenly, she was being hoisted onto the back of a small horse (as it was Munchkinland, after all). It carried her around the city, where she received the applause of every exuberant Munchkin. Some (like Coroner Kobolos Judge Dante, and a remarkable woman who had introduced herself as Elizabeth (and not Betsy)), she noticed, seemed very intelligent, while others were on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. They screamed out their names as she passed by. “I’m jtb! Don’t forget me! You‘re very pretty, let me take you to the ball!” one shouted. She had waved awkwardly at him. “I’m Triangle Eyes!” another had called out to her. She seemed to like attention. Panothy, who tried to be nice to everyone, smiled at her. Only one Munchkin was not celebrating. Instead, she was sitting sullenly in the grass, holding what looked like part of a hamster in her lap. There was fur on her lips. When she heard the fanfare of Panothy’s arrival, her head shot up and she nipped at the air, but then quickly looked back down. I guess every city has its…er…strange citizens, Panothy thought.
At last, after she had traveled throughout the entire city, the horse stopped back where it had started. Panothy had liked helping so many people, but she wasn’t fond of being the center of so much attention. She was relieved that the ride was over. Panothy made her way over to Linda. “Well done, Panothy,” she complimented the girl. “You have saved the Munchkins from much trouble.”
All of a sudden, there was a loud bang and a puff of smoke just a few feet from where Linda and Panothy stood. Out of the smoke came a tall woman, armed with a katana. She looked remarkably like Miss Cel to Panothy. This woman was mean and lean, but there was one difference--she was green.
“Who killed my sister?” the woman cried out, surveying the crowd. The Munchkins were all scrambling back to their hiding places.
“Who is that?” Panothy whispered, terrified, to Linda.
“That’s the Wicked Witch of Inra,” Linda murmured back. “The Wicked Witch of Azel was her sister. I--I didn’t realize she would be coming.” Panothy not at all comforted by the fact that Linda was apparently gripped with fear.
“Was it you?” the witch asked, suddenly in front of Panothy. She held the katana at her throat.
“I didn’t m-mean to k-kill anyone,” Panothy sputtered. “It was all an a-accident.” The witch snorted.
“Please,” she sneered. “You worthless, life-destroying waste of a girl…Off with your head!” Panothy stifled a scream.
“Wait!” Linda cried. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” The Wicked Witch of Inra thought for a moment. “The sapphire slippers,” she reminded her.
“Ah, yes, the slippers,” the witch said. She made her way towards her sister’s body. She had always worn her beautiful sapphire slippers, as they were what gave her power. When the witch had her back turned, Linda waved her wand and tapped Panothy’s feet. Suddenly, her old shoes were replaced with the Azel’s shoes. She gasped in unison with Inra as she realized that the slippers were gone.
“The slippers are gone!” Inra screeched.
“Well, duh, haven’t you been reading anything that isn’t dialogue?” called out a Munchkin. Panothy remembered her introducing herself as Hope. Having made herself an easy target when she came out of hiding to add her two cents, Inra zapped her with an unseen magical force. Hope fell back, dead.
Inra realized at last that the sapphire slippers were on Panothy’s feet. “Give me back my slippers,” she ordered grimly. “Give them back, or I’ll…”
Linda chuckled. “It’s too late. There they are, and there they’ll stay. Be gone, you have no power here.” Inra shot her a look that would have turned the population of Munchkinland into stone, had she been a gorgon. “Shoo!” Linda cried. “Before someone drops a house on you!” Inra looked up in alarm, holding the katana over her head as useless protection.
“This isn’t over,” she said to Panothy and Linda, her voice low and husky. “Those slippers will be mine. I’ll get you, my pretty…And your little boyfriend, too!”
“ToJ is a girl,” Panothy replied calmly, “and most certainly is not my boyfriend. She’s a dog. Can’t you remember your lines?” Inra blushed.
“Oh, right. I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!” The witch cackled as she flew off on her katana. “This isn’t over.” The words stuck in Panothy’s mind. She had a feeling that there was far too much truth to this statement. And Panothy was quite right.
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Post by Dante on Mar 18, 2006 14:57:01 GMT -5
I wasn't going to comment because of my all-consuming sloth, but I have to say, this is very entertaining.
Edit: Plus I'm a judge. It's like a dream come true. Possibly even one of my dreams.
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Post by jemima on Mar 18, 2006 15:12:13 GMT -5
Ah, wonderful update! Mayor Targpants... *chuckle*
I also liked the reference to Skeleton Key and those dang n00bs.
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