Post by Akbar Le Grey on Dec 18, 2005 3:15:50 GMT -5
Editor : Akbar/Le Grey.
Columnists: PJ, Linda, Sixteen, Sora, Jemima, Curio and Grace.
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PJ’s Rant.
So. Holidays. For me, anyways. Summer holidays. Heh. Suckers. This time next week we’ll all be happily sitting in piles of presents and wrapping paper. Or nothing, if you’re poor, or if you don’t celebrate Christmas.
Googlism has reared its ugly head once more…once ever few months, like a clockwork. It’s like the mythical Hydra…no matter how many times it is pwned, it always comes back with a new face, with new supporters.
Googlism became overused and boring about 5 seconds after it was first started. Several months later, however, it is fatal. And, I’m not sure if Akbar is un-lazy enough to put in the italics, so, for the record, I italicized the words “pwned”, “months”, and “fatal”. If he isn’t lazy, then just ignore what I just said.
So yeah. Googlism. Now…I’m not merely suggesting that it is satanic, but that it was actually designed by Satan himself (more italics). So yeah. My complete and utter contempt for anyone using Googlism.
So, we gots ourselves a chat thing. It’s allright, I guess. I don’t use it a lot, though. Not much to say.
Secret Santa’s are good, too, although I wish for more clues from my santa…*HINT HINT* Uh, I mean, yeah, I already know who it is, so I don’t need any more clues. I’m just skilled that way.
Eh. The themes. It got a bit tiresome changing them each day, especially since I was always asleep when the new themes came around. I’m glad we have a more fixed one, now. Impersonation theme was the best.
Well, that’s about all, now. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Oh, and Happy Birthday 16. Dupin’s B’day is coming up soon. 23rd, I believe. So ready yourselves, or something.
Auf wiedersehen.
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The 14 Themes Of Christmas.[/b][/size]
Since the first of December, the profiles of forum members have been at the mercy of Dupin and his daily themes. Whilst being fulfilling and generally entertaining, they've also caused a lot of confusion, especially among members living in odd time-zones, like moi.
1st December - On the first day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me,...
For some odd reason I can't find the thread for the firt theme, though I remember that it was the disguises theme. This was perhaps the most popular theme, though also the most chaotic. It was an excellent start to an excellent 3 weeks of themes.
2nd December - On the second day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, two friends on a ledge.
On this, the second 'theme-day', members were asked to support thier favourite aSoUE ship. Choices ranged from the classic Esmé and Olaf to the rather odd Sir and Charles ship.
3rd December - On the third day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, three trustworthy siblings.
On the third day, a daemon theme was introduced, as a tribute to the way the Baudelaires stay together. This was a very fun theme, enjoyed by all. From PJ with his cape-clad sloth to Orangey with her homocidal Marge, everyone enjoyed the theme d'jour.
4th December - On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, four dangerous lions.
The fourth day was a roaring success due to its animal theme. All sorts of animals were to be found, as 667 turned into a veritable menagerie. Dugongs found themselves rubbing shoulders with Arabian horses; wolves with 'little brown bats'.
5th December - On the fifth day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, five secret words.[/i]
This theme showed a return to aSoUE grassroots. In accordance with Dupin's theme, people were sprouting VFD codes everywhere you looked. It was quite interesting, and people eagerly took part.
6th December - On the sixth day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, six foolish guests.
This theme was a nice mix of aSoUE and 667. I think Dupin sums it up best: "thats right in tribtue of the stupiditety of some of the hotel dneenmoant s guests we are akting like really cool members today. W00T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ". It was hilarious, and great fun for all who participated, which was pratcially everyone, as this was a theme based on something evreyone loves: really cool member mocking.
7th December - On the seventh day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, seven deadly spores.
On Dupin's seventh day, monsters were the theme d'jour. The Leviathan made an appearance, with its colleagues the Loch Ness Monster and Medusa.
8th December - On the eight day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, eight verses of song.
This day was dedicated to the Volunteers Fighting Disease, and Dupin decreed that everyone should speak in rhyme. Quite a few members found it an interesting way to spend time.
9th December - On the ninth day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, nine troupe actors.
This theme was not one of Dupin's better ideas. I suppose the cruel muse left him as he struggled to come up with something, finally giving up and choosing actors. I must say, though, that the public recieved this well, and Jennifer Coolidge and Ellen DeGeneres were soon seen on the board.
10th December - On the tenth day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me,....
The pirate theme on the tenth was another highly successful one.
11th December - On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, eleven useful inventions.
On this, the eleventh theme day, Dupin decreed that today people would don the costumes and names of characters out of the aSoUE world, just like Violet's inventions are out of this world. This was a theme everyone, from Potter-freaks to classic-lovers, could enjoy. Members really got into the spirit, like lauren who was Severus Snape: "Hehe, I hate Harry too. GO SLYTHERIN! -hisses and cheers- "
12th December - On the twelfth day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, twelve dedications.
To honour Snicket's habit of putting a dedication to his beloved Beatrice at the beginning of each book, the theme on the 12th was dedications to the dead. A ombre, if not morbid theme which was not particularly well-recieved by the public.
13th December - On the thirteenth day of Christmas, Snicket gave to me, thirteen unfortunate books.
This was the last of the aSoUE themed days, and so was basically a chance to celbrate aSoUE one last time. Dupin decided that 667ers should do this by literally becoming their favourite aSoUE characters.
14th December - Cartoon character day
People celebrated this theme and quickly changed their profiles to become like thier favourite cartoon characters. It was a very popular theme, and was also the first non-aSoUE theme.
15th December - Random day
I love randomness just as much as any other Pakistani editor-in-chief of an e-magazine, but this, I believe, was pushing it. Come on, George, you must have thought of something else. I belive Pan sums up my feelings on this theme-day quite well: "This day makes me sick."
16th-25th December - Christmas theme
The title says it all. This theme is basically anything and everything to do with Christmas.
Well, it seems that the themes have come to and end. Except for a couple of bad days, Dupin did a pretty good job of it all. Yzay for Dupin. However, with the themes winding up, 667 will be pretty bland for the next couple of weeks, though we do have the promise of a sepcial theme on December 23rd(Dupin's birthday). So be interesting, people. Gosh, I'm bad at this. Well, happy 'Chrismukkah', as they say in the O.C, which is, like, the coolest show, like, ever!*snort*
-Akbar Le Grey.
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Jemima’s Unadvice Column.
Dear Jemmy,
Snicket Face will not log on to 667. What should I do? Can I kick her? Thanks a bundle, dear.
Most sincerely,
Orangey
Dear Orangey,
Kicking her would be fine, but the effect of an e-kick wouldn't be as good as a real kick. If you talk to her on MSN or something like that, give her tons of nudges and then she'll get really annoyed, and then she'll have to log back on 667!
Sincerely, and a Merry Christmas to you,
Jemmy
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Dear Jemima,
A friend of mine says he wants to kill himself. How might I help him?
Reasonably sincerely,
[here the writer's ballpoint pen had apparently exploded, obscuring their name in a huge blob of ink]
Dear Big Blob,
Dear me! No, no, no, he can't kill himself! You must do something right now!
There are many hotlines for suicidal people. Call one, or give him/her a really big kick on the shin, that always hurts, and is a good attention getter. Do this immediatly, or wake him/her up with really hot green mint tea to make his/her life meaningful.
Sincerely,
Jemmy
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Dear JemJemJemmy,
One of the members has started a thread in MMisc saying that she--I mean (s)he may leave 667 and what would we think if (s)he left. I don't want this person to leave.............what should I do?
Byeas,
Gracia
Dear Gracia,
Hmm... how long ago was this? Has (s)he left 667 Dark Avenue yet? If not, then forget about it, (s)he's never going to leave. If so, um... uh... PM her drastically so (s)he'll have 15 PMs telling him/her not to leave if (s)he ever does log on again? That sounds good. Or nudge her like I told Erin to nudge Snicket Face.
Sincerely,
Jemmy
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Dear Jemima,
My friend's mother's boyfriend has a highly racist sense of humor. My friend is Korean, and we don't like him. Her mother has a heavy Korean accent, and he demands that she, "Speak english", then laughs his head off. When he asks me where I'm from, and I say Finland, he says that I "Came on a ship to the land of oppurtunity." It hurts me, and it hurts my friend. How can I make him stop?
-Gretchen the Finnish zombie
Dear Gretchen,
I really don't like people who are like that. If you ever see him again, you could
1)Bash on his face,
2)Turn the other cheek,
3)Totally ignore him,
4)Or get your friend's boyfriend's mother (or is it friend's mother's boyfriend?) out of the house by selling him on Ebay. I suggest making the starting bid $1.
Sincerely,
Jemima
P.S. When do I get to throw cat hair?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send your problems to Jemima.
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And this week's Jemima's How To:[/b]
How to How To Open a Locker! (A Particularly Stubborn One)[/b] Note: Use these directions at your own risk. The 667er takes no responsibility for the results of these actions.
Step 1: Calmly set in the locker combination, remember, it's Left, Right, Left, not Right, Left, Left or Left, Right, Right, or Right, Left Right
Step 2: Get your things or whatever you put in it out, or deposit something in it
Step 3: If your locker did not open, call the custodian/janitor to get out their special key and open it
Step 4: If that didn't work, or if there wasn't a janitor around, grab a jackhammer or axe and cut out the lock in the locker.
Step 5: Of course, now it really isn't a locker, because you can't lock it.
Step 6: Either pay a fine up to $100 or go to federal prison for up to 6 months.
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Linda’s Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Linda: Welcome to this week’s member interview. This week, I interviewed Skeleton Key. Now, Skeleton Key, what is your real name, and how did you come up with your username?
Skeleton Key: I think everyone knows that my real name is Gretchen. I came up with my username because a skeleton key happens to be the insignia of an organization I belong to.
Linda: Where are you from?
Skeleton Key: Finland, Finland, Finland, the country where I want to be…*ahem* Sorry. Finland. Sounds like it’s inhabited entirely by fish, doesn’t it? And no, contrary to the beliefs of my friend’s mother’s boyfriend, I did NOT stow away on a ship to the alleged “Land of Opportunity”.
Linda: Tell us a bit about yourself. What are some of your interests?
Skeleton Key: Well, I’m a creepy freakish mutant undead scary kooky strange eccentric misfit outcast that no one at school will touch with a thousand google foot pole on a dare for one hundred grand if their life depended on it. I enjoy collecting skeleton keys and live (relatively) alone with my cat named Lucky who happens to be full of ticks.
Linda: Were you ever a lurker?
Skeleton Key: Well of course… Muaha, I was watching you and you were none the wiser!
Linda: How did you find out about 667?
Skeleton Key: Well, I found it the first time when I did a search for “cranioectomy”. I mostly found book review sites, and a site on “EXPERIMENTAL MEDICAL PROCEDURES Mental illness: Are cranioectomies the answer?” Which actually had nothing to do with A Series of Unfortunate Events, surprisingly. Then I found 667, looked at it, and forgot about it. Then about a month later I went to TQW and found a link, and I was there to stay.
Linda: About how much time do you spend on 667? How important is it in your life?
Skeleton Key: It’s very important to me because I’m home schooled and my two options are neopets chat and 667. And the people on the neopets chat are idiots.
Linda: What sections do you visit the most? What are a few of your favorite threads?
Skeleton Key: I mostly go to Relentless RPGs. My favorite threads are Poisoned Tea (Of course.) and The Baudelaires Triumph. Oh! And Things That ASoUE Characters Would Never Say.
Linda: How would you describe yourself, in terms of your appearance?
Skeleton Key: Appearance wise I’m pale, skinny, five foot three inches tall. My eyes are usually both very dark brown, almost black, but sometimes my left eye is hazel or dark green. I have blonde hair almost to my ankles, with spiky bangs and wisps all around so it looks like my head is a giant spider. My mom obsesses over my nose and how everyone wants a nose like mine, supposedly. I have no idea why. It’s just sort of pointy. I have long pointy fingers and that’s about it. No tattoos or piercings except a (ink) tattoo of a navy blue skeleton key on my left palm.
Linda: What kind of a personality do you have?
Skeleton Key: Personality wise, I’m sort of morbid and quiet. I like things sad.
Linda: Do you feel like the majority of the members know who you are?
Skeleton Key: I feel like lots of people would say, "Skeleton Key? Who's that?" But then again I'm popular enough for people to call me "Skeleton".
Linda: Do you find the members of 667 to be nice people? Is anyone rude to you?
Skeleton Key: Most people are nice to me, especially Shelly247 and Orphaned_Hope13. Oh, and I could never forget Greysnicket. He's the sweetest person on 667. Kissie! The only person who has ever been mean to me is Dr. Hobo, or Robert, which I know seems impossible because he's an "Intelligent young man". I've stopped posting in Chaotic Creativity because he always criticizes my work. I know it's supposed to be constructive criticism, and he means well, but it hurts. But I suppose that I should just be less sensitive and it's my fault for not being a good writer in the first place.
Linda: Is there anything you’d like to tell the members of 667?
Skeleton Key: Here's what I would like to say:
1. Go to the Poisoned Parakeet Cafe today for Christmas festivities!
2. Memento mori, gauisus excessum.
Linda: Thanks, Skeleton Key. Next week, Grace will be interviewed. No one else is currently in line after her, so if you want to be interviewed, please contact me.
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Grace did not submit 'Da Polls' this week.
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Curio did not submit his article this week.
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