Post by Akbar Le Grey on Feb 19, 2006 2:52:35 GMT -5
Editor : Akbar Le Grey.
Columnists: PJ, Linda, Dupin, Jemima.
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PJ’s Rant.
Once again, I find it is Sunday afternoon, and I have yet to write an article. And Akbar’s shouting at me. Again.
I had intended to write this…but forgot. Plus I can’t think of much to say, so I doubt this will be an interesting Rant.
So yeah. THEY TOOK AWAY OH NOES DOT ORG. THEY TOOK IT AWAY. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, www.ohnoes.org used to be a neat-o site with lots of people clutching their face and staring horrified at something, all saying “Oh Noes”. It was the bestest site ever. BUT IT’S GONE NOW.
There. That’s all the material I have. I could rant about how MM has gone lame, and there are too many boring threads, but that’s more of a whine, as opposed to a rant. So meh.
Also, good news: Skeleton Key and Grey Snicket have entered the Big Bro house! And, in their place, Sora and Poe are being evicted! I have no grievances against Sora, but Poe is a scum-bag who I loathe with all my loathability. Heh. Loathability.
But yeah. I’m getting tired. Of the Rant. I figure I’ll do this one, and then maybe another one, and then retire. Perhaps only temporarily, perhaps not. Except that everyone’s stabbed Akbar in the back, so to speak. Last week’s articles consisted of mine, Linda’s, and Akbar’s editorial. THREE ARTICLES. Oh, and the Ball thing, I think. Or whatever.
So everyone should be ashamed, and they ought to write more. And I’ll need an heir. Someone who will write a new article EVERY week without fail. Someone loyal, but also not boring. In the 20-odd editions we’ve done, I’ve only ever missed out once. All the other times I got someone to cover for me. No-one else can boast that.
So yeah, come one, come all, to fill my columnist place. Alice, I’m looking at you. You’d make a sweet rant-ist. Or whatever. It doesn’t have to be Rant, even. Just some random article that’s entertaining, or something.
So bye.
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Jemima’s Unadvice Column.
Dear Jemmy,
Our school musical is currently coming up. I kind of messed up my first audition, but I got a call-back, which is tomorrow (Friday). (Unfortunately, I'll probably mess up this audition as well because my throat is dying.) However, I am fairly certain that I won't get a good part because the director's daughter always gets the lead. What can I do, other than steal Gretchen's poison-tipped umbrella and stab the girl with it?
Most sincerely,
Go Poison!
Dear Rat Poison!,
I don't think you would be able to steal Gretch's umbrella through the Internet, unless you have achieved a way of transporting materialistic items through the super-highway of the world wide web... *steals idea, patents for self, and gets richer than Bill Gates*
Anyway, since that isn't possible, I suggest you send the girl a threatening threat-threat note to her saying that she'll regret it if the girl does not back down by playing sick or dead. You'll probably automatically get the part.
Or you could give her salt-water taffy before she performs. That will make her throat all sticky and then she won't be able to sing. Then you'll sing better and get the part, even though both of your throats are in terrible condition!
Sincerely (and hoping you get dat part),
Jemmy
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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send your problems to Jemima! One problem isn't enough for her!
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And this week's Jemima's How To:[/b]
How to open a can of…whatever![/b] Note: Use these directions at your own risk. The 667er takes no responsibility for the results of these actions.
Step 1: Buy a can of whatever, or buy a can that has something you want in it, because whatever is sometimes a bad whatever.
Step 2: Choose a can opener of your liking:
A can opener
An electric can opener
An ax
A mallet
A samurai sword
Step 3: Open the can. If you chose the:
-can opener- put the sharp part on the can and twist the can until the lid pops up
-electric can opener- read the directions to it and follow them
-ax- cut the can open from the top; only one cut through the middle should get it
-mallet- hit it until the entire thing breaks and the contents burst out
-samurai sword- make a nice *swish* to the top of it and the top part should come off
Step 4: Get a bowl and put whatever in the bowl
Step 5: Do what must be done with the whatever
Step 6: Enjoy!
-Jemima.
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Linda’s Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Member Interview of the Week[/b]
Linda: Welcome to this week's Member Interview of the Week. This week, we have Freshie, who was able to come on short notice. Welcome, Freshie.
Freshie: Yo.
Linda: What is your real name?
Freshie: Melissa.
Linda: How did you come up with your username?
Freshie: Well first you go back in time to two years ago. You take my current obsession then, which was the band duo Junior Senior...and since I was a Freshman and not a Junior nor a Senior, I used Freshman. Then I shortened it to Freshie.
Linda: Where are you from?
Freshie: I'm from sexy Massachusetts.
Linda: Tell us a bit about yourself. What are some of your interests?
Freshie: Art, music, Franz Ferdinand, Project Runway, Franz Ferdinand, photography, boys, technology, oh and Franz Ferdinand.
Linda: How would you describe yourself, in terms of appearance?
Freshie: Ugly and cute, all at the same time. Plus I have blue eyes.
Linda: How would you describe your personality?
Freshie: I'm outgoing, fun, and funny, until I get annoying.
Linda: What do you like to do in your free time?
Freshie: Dance, photography, be my crazy self, talk, and create.
Linda: How did you find out about 667?
Freshie: Ah yes, sexy Google.
Linda: About how much time do you spend on 667, and how important is it in your life?
Freshie: I try to go on every day. I've been there forever, three years next week. So as you can see, it means a lot to me.
Linda: What sections do you like to visit the most?
Freshie: Fan Art, Creativity, and the Objectionable Others.
Linda: Do you think that you are a well-known member of 667? What do you feel your level of popularity is?
Freshie: I am, or at least I was. I was the belle of the ball. The annoying belle of the ball, but still. My popularity is probably average.
Linda: Do you find the members of 667 to be nice people? Is anyone rude to you?
Freshie: Mostly they are, or at least they better be. Some of the boys hate me though. ;_;
Linda: Is there anything you’d like to tell the members of 667?
Freshie: Yes. I love George, and James, and Brent, and Luis, and all the other sexy boys.
Linda: Thanks, Freshie, for filling in on such short notice. Now, next week A. is going to be interviewed, and after that, for I think the fourth week running, no one else has signed up. If you would like to be interviewed, please tell me. I don’t bite. Well, I’ll try not to.
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Well. Twenty 667ers, and we’re still going strong. Heh. There should be a ball or some such. No, perhaps we should save the ball for our 25th edition. We went through a bit of a rough patch in the late teens, but, with the return of Jemima, I hope we can start to go up again.
Now, speaking seriously, wtf is going on with the Detriment Deleters? Unless Tragedy’s drowning on a bird in a bowl of cucumber soup, I see no reason why he hasn’t decided on the new Detriment Deleters yet. *le sigh*
Also, Menacing Miscellaneous seems to be on its way down, and I do mean down. The feeling of listlessness that hold 667 in its grip seems to have taken hold even here, in the heart of our forum. As Char rightly pointed out: “There are no juicy threads.” Even supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Alice, usually full of joie de vivre, is sad. With nothing to distract them from the impending death of BB, 667ers drift towards self-pity. As SetnicK said, a tear glinting in her eye, “Timeline of events: October 2006, Book the Thirteenth is released. January 2007 - Discussion regarding Book the Thirteenth dies off. May 2007 - I graduate. August 2007 - I'm off to college...and I most probably leave 667.” At this point she wandered off, crying.
But it is now that we have to make our decisions, 667ers. Really, will we leave? And we must all ask ourselves one more question: why do we come here? Is it really because of the books? Don’t let me sway you, make your own decisions.
To stay, or to leave, that is the question.
[/cliché]
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"OH NO! MY ARTICLE IS MISSING!”
BY DUPIN
Many members of 667 Dark Avenue read my 667-fic 'Missing', which is a combination of 667 and ABC's hit drama show, 'Lost', where survivors of a plane crash are stuck on a mysterious island. I am currently working on the eigth volume of 'Missing'; here's some information on it.
VOLUME EIGHT
'SECRETS'
A ROBERT EPISODE
'After a series of confusing nightmares, Robert is convinced that it is up to him to get the survivors off the island. Meanwhile, Marc and Amber find a chance to question the new survivor when a storm leaves them trapped inside the front of the plane.'
Volume Eight is in quite early stages, but it should be out in a week or so. So that's something to look forward to?
And here's a quick Q + A.
Q. Who is it that Marc and Amber found in the front of the plane?
A. The pilot of the flight 667, Derik Quinn.
Q. Who are the hooded people Antenora found in Volume Seven?
A. Much like 'the others', these are people who were on the island before the plane crash of Flight 667. Although this was their first appearence, it's nowhere near their last. A nickname the survivors will soon adapt for them is 'Hoodies'.
Q. What is coming up on 'Missing'?
A. Well, although most if it is secretive, the "Hoodies" will be entering the story not long now, and Akbar will be back in time. And of course, a character will be dying soon enough, although the name of that character is definatley going to remain a secret. Things will die down in the next few chapters; eight, nine and ten aren't too eventful, but I think Volume Eleven has the potential to be the best volume of all.
Q. What are the future volumes about?
A. Well, there's been a major change about the order of episodes/characters. In Volume Nine, it's centered about J, when she finally talks to a survivor you perhaps wouldn't expect. In Volume Ten, the food has ran out, and Kimia follows James when he goes hunting. Then, in Volume Eleven, let's just say that the survivors really need to work as a team.
Q. Who has the best flashbacks, or the most exciting pasts?
A. I'd definatley watch out for J's flashbacks; I think they're quite interesting, and so are Michaels, although his are spread out more because he has two more volumes-(fifteen and twenty). James's could be good as well, although J's and Michael's are probably the best ones.
Q. Why are the episodes completley different in the thread?
A. I'll be updating it soon, but here's the title and survivor of each upcoming episode.
8-SECRETS-Robert
9-DIAGNOSIS-J
10-RISK-Kimia
11-INVASION-Sam
12-EVALUATION-Annelise
13-DIVIDED-Char
14-PIZZA-James
15-INVESTIGATIONS-Michael
16-BELIEF-Amber
17-VOLATILE-Erin
18-WIPEOUT (not confirmed)-Philip
19-PURPLE-Dante
20-SWAMPED-Michael
21-DANGER-Everyone
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this article. [wave]
-Dupin.
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