Post by Akbar Le Grey on Apr 23, 2006 2:27:43 GMT -5
Editor: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda.
Columnists: PJ, une femme auteur anonyme, Jemima, George Dupin, Lauren, Snicket.
Published by the 667er Publications, ltd.
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The 667er Staff[/u]
Left to right: Jemima(advice columnist), Linda(rant-writing interviewer), Akbar(Editor), PJ(interview-writing ranter), and our anonymous contributor(subjective flaneur). *The Flaneur's appearance in no way reflects who I think she is. I'm terrible at guessing these things, so I have no real opinion on the matter of her identity. Hence she looks generically mysterious.
-Antenora.
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Dupin’s Rant.
George Dupin could not submit a column this week.
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What follows is my first illustrated column, and may be my last one. Circumstances do not allow me to create my own images for this column, but I believe I can find some fitting ones. And I'm afraid my mysterious creator still won't allow me, her fictional character enslaved to her journalistic cause, to marry anyone. She won't even give a good reason for it, lousy writer that she is.
Once again, something of some interest happened within half a day of the 667er's publishing. Someone named dictatortom flooded Feedback with pointless posts about code and complaining, and most notably some kind of VFD recruitment propaganda(he seems to be living in a parallel universe, or perhaps he's working for a genuine volunteer fire department, in which case he's just plain stupid).
The moderator, whom I shall note seems far more dictatorial than Tom-- I'll compare her to Mao Zedong, because I think I've already compared staff members to every other dictator who readily comes to mind-- cracked down on him promptly. He fled to MMisc, which probably wasn't a wise move, and started begging for karma and continuing his silly campaign. He was promptly mocked.
Twistedbrain called him a stalker, and Snicket said Tom didn't know anything about his books(I'm guessing any books he's written are anti-Microsoft tracts, but Tom seems to know rather little about the real Lemony Snicket at any rate). Even OrphanedHope began to flame him, using herself as a bad example, though really Tom seems less utterly stupid than her. (She later defended Tom's right to "believe what he wanted to", or something. I don't believe that Tom actually believed any of the fascist conspiratorial drivel he was spewing, so either telling him off for his preachiness or commending him for his sincerity seems undue.) Many others joined in the mockery-fest, including the eloquent Alice and Luna, and the rather clever newcomer Ernest D. And yet he continued his charade, with a few random insults thrown in. He seemed to rapidly descend into madness one day, double-posting, swearing, and distending the page with unnatural numbers of exclamation points.
Then Antenora rapidly dealt him his third strike, amidst a chorus of mockery heaped on Tom from all sides. She seems not only more dictatorial than Tom could dream of being, but far more like a noble volunteer. I daresay our more competent staff members rather fit that description.
Another thing of interest is the somewhat-frightening "Anonymous Confession Thread". The premise is certainly intriguing--send in confessions to Luna, who posts them with no names attached, and allegedly immediately deletes the messages and forgets who sent them.
What's interesting is why Luna started this thread--because the non-anonymous confession thread was understandably lacking in confessions of things like lacing people's food with alcohol or ridiculous crushes on 667 staff members. Or the fact that they like sticking objects into openings that aren't necessarily supposed to admit said objects(only phrased more specifically than that).
Admittedly, I could truthfully confess to fairly similar things myself; perhaps I have already. And as much as I'd like to try and figure out who's sending these confessions, I'd probably be wrong. I (anonymously, more or less) confess that I make heaps of false assumptions that I never bother to correct. However, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the confessions were utterly false and offered up for shock value. The forum right now is like a giant confusing masquerade party, with rather too many people costumed as fools or trolls.
As evidenced by some posts of the past few weeks, this forum has a curious obsession with Hitler. I mention it now because his birthday was sometime this past week. Aside from the usual comparisons of Tragedy and Robert and others to this famous dictator, there has been some degree of revelry surrounding his birthday.
Hitler is all over Menacing Miscellaneous, and a Nazi theme permeates many people's profiles. Looking at both old and new pages of CCreativity, too, reveals a fair amount of Hitler-ness in fiction--whether the funny-mustached Fuhrer is being played by Robert or turned into a tree in the Seventh Circle of Hell.
(Though a few of the Hitler mentions came from my old columns, admittedly, but I may have been talking about the forum's Hilter interest before.) And then there are the 50 Hitler Threads(a phenomenon I would illustrate more fully, were my space not limited, but I will compensate by illustrating 2% of such a post).
I'm not entirely sure what all of this says about the forum--perhaps that members of it go in for shock value, as I've previously suspected, or perhaps they're all German history geeks. Or perhaps they just like Hitler's funny mustache.
A few thoughts on an apparent trend of 667 society... We seem to be flooded with people who have gained thousands of posts and a moderate amount of popularity--at least among people of similar registration dates and behavior-- within a few months. Many of our relatively new people have racked up over five thousand posts(most of them in GGames and RPG's) quite rapidly.
These people seem not to know who they are, but twistedbrain is the first one who comes to mind immediately. Older and less prolifically-posting members are rather annoyed about this--justifiably, as a number of the newcomers are not very bright-- but it's occured to me that the influx of post-hogging newbies doesn't have as much of an impact as it might in the past. The reason for this being that, thanks to the incompetence of Proboards, we can no longer see the Top Posters list. I imagine a lack of a reliable way to see who's been grabbing posts like mad diminishes from both post-count elitism and the conspicuousness of n00bish post-grabbers. Or at least it seems like it should, but we'll always have elitists, whether they're bragging of their greater post count or greater longevity.
Still, I think many members who gained posts sensibly would rather like to see post-counts disabled on the Games and RPG's forums, as I understand can be done nowadays. Though Proboards Version 4 caused us to lose the Top Posters list, it(allegedly) gave us a method by which annoying post-hungry forum-game aficionados could be kept off it.
I hope that this column has been enjoyable, and neither killed your computer or assaulted your eyes with its images.
- Une femme auteur anonyme.
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Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Linda: Welcome to this week's interview, everyone. This week, we have Sora. Welcome, Sora.
Sora: Hello everyone.
Linda: Now, for your first question: what is your real name? What inspired your username?
Sora: My real name is Nathan, as most people know. Somehow. My username 'Sora' was inspired by, three guesses, the Kingdom Hearts character of the same name. And for those of you aren't familiar with the game, it's A MALE name.
Linda: Thanks for the explanation, I'm not familiar with that game. Now, what types of things do you like to do when you're not at 667? What interests you?
Sora: Well, I'm on my school's rowing team, which takes up a lot of my time. I also do a lot of drama outside of school, as one of my hobbies. And I read of course, or else I wouldn't be on 667 in the first place.
Linda: Now, your profile says you joined in June of 2002. That makes you one of the oldest members of 667. Are there any advantages to being such an old member? Do you think 667 is better or worse than it used to be?
Sora: Well first of all, when we updated the site, some bozo glitched my profile, and suddenly I joined the same day as Tragedy. I am one of the oldest members on the site though, having joined in September 2003, in what I believe is called the 'third wave'. There are advantages to being an old member, because you have a special connection to people who joined at the same time as you, and you've sort of seen 667 grow up. I think 667 has 'changed' as such recently, no longer do we have the lesbian marriages of Swans to look forward too, and n00bs have all but demolished the art of the 'Beatrice debate'. However we all are more united, and there are more people on these days, more people who ACTUALLY post.
Linda: Interesting. Now, moving on, about how much time do you spend on 667? Which boards do you find yourself visiting the most?
Sora: I usually spend an hour or so on 667 a day, depending on what's happening at the time. I spend most of my time in MM, CC, DD and LL, but I do occasionally go into the rather dull at the moment Burdensome Books section.
Linda: Are you happy with your current status at 667? Do you think you're a well-known member?
Sora:Yeah, pretty much. I know a lot of members here from aeons past, and I think that most people know who I am, though whether they care or not who I am is unknown.
Linda: Well, thanks for that. Now, I'd like to ask some questions about the 667 Apprentice. What’s it like being on the staff?
Sora: It's pretty cool. I've never been a host or anything like that in any of the competitions we've had, so it's nice to give back to the 667 community. And I've always wanted to do this competition since 2004 soooooo yeah it's cool.
Linda: Have you ever helped plan anything like this before? Do you think The 667 Apprentice is getting the attention it deserves?
Sora: Um... did I not just say I've never helped in anything like this? I've always been a player not a worker, as such. As for the Apprentice, it's being sponsored by this very publication, and a lot of people have seemed interested in it, so yeah I think it has.
Linda: What do you think will happen for the 667 Apprentice in the future? Did only having 9 people sign up set things back, or will it be able to run smoothly?
Sora: Actually, having only 9 people was a relief. It was helpful for organization, and it let us focus more on fewer tasks in a shorter amount of time. I think it should run on schedule, unless Tragedy suddenly decides he wants this to end, or if Swans suddenly returns and demands that this whole thing end so she can be the only supreme assistant of the Admin.
Linda: And now, we’re just about out of time, so is there anything you’re dying to tell the 667ers? Your favorite color, perhaps?
Sora: My favorite color? Good old Ivory Coast Crimson. Or is it Ukrainian Crimson? Or Formerly Known as Yugoslavian Crimson. What is Crimson anyway? Is it lighter mauve or lighter blood red? It's things like this that we should be debating over, not stupid insignificant things like politics and global warming....
Linda: Haha...well, thanks Sora, for agreeing to be interviewed. Until next time, then.
Sora: No problem, Linda, my dear.
-Linda.
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Jemima's Unadvice Column.
Dearest Jemima,
Nearly every week, I think to myself "I should send Jemima a problem", and think of some problem important enough to send in. And every week, without fail, I promptly forget again. How do I get out of this vicious cycle?
Sincerely
Linda
Dear Linda,
Send it in right away. Or have your computer annoy you with stupid pop-ups that well, pop up, every half-minute. Or have it shock you. Even though that will make it seem like it's evil.
Computers can be very evil, though, as seen in A Space Odyssey: 2001.
*Also sprach Zarathustra plays*
I like Linda. She is cool.
Love,
Jemmy
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Dear Jemima,
One of my friends runs an unadvice column for our local newspaper, but she keeps on complaining that nobody has any problems to write to her about! I want to help her, but there's a problem: I don't have any problems worth writing to her about. Please tell me: Was this letter a good idea? Be honest.
Yours truly,
Huns Uttle
Dear... Hunzuttle:
Honestly, this is the best letter I've gotten. This was a very good idea. You should come up with more ideas like this in your life.
Sincerely,
Jemima
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Hey Jemmy,
I've got myself stuck into a right pickle. See, it started at a party a while ago, where a drunk started spouting off gossip about my parents. I wasn't having any of this, so I went to see the friendly neighbourhood Oracle to put things right. But she started raving some rubbish about murder and incest, so I left her to her gas-induced madness.
So, I'm walking down the mountain, and this guy pops up on a chariot, tells me to get out of the way! I told him to mind his manners, but he was raring for a fight. I put up my dukes, but before I knew it, the fellow was dead! Fortunately, I managed to hide the body in a nearby ravine, but just when I thought I was getting somewhere, this weird girl turns up - maybe it was the wine, but she looked to have the body of a lion. Then she starts talking about some weird multi-legged animal, and I figured she was on the wine too. I gabbled a bit, joking about how man (or woman, hint hint!) walks on different numbers of legs depending on how drunk he is... She must have taken it a bit hard, as she went and smashed her brains out on the rocks. Poor kiddo.
Everything was a bit hazy for a while after that, what with the drink and grief, but when I woke up, it turned out I'd become the king, and the queen was now my wife! I thought I was still dreaming, but my raging headache said different. I thought things were starting to really go my way, after I'd sobered up - I was just thinking about having that old drunkard executed, but when I mentioned this to my pal Teiresias, instead of sympathising, he pipes up and tells me that the man I killed ages ago was my father, and the queen my wife was also my mother! Not a thing to burden a man with so early in the morning.
So, my dilemma is:
Should I sue the wine manufacturers for starting this mess, or destroy everyone attached to my past in a Kill Bill-style massacre?
Your pal,
Oedipus
Hey Oedipus,
This was a really long letter. But I didn't mind it, it was very interesting. Yesh, yesh, an interesting problem.
Sue them. Sue them all. Sue the wine manufacturers. Sue your family. Sue everyone attached to your past in a Kill Bill-style massacre! You can always do with more money. But being king is cool too, so what's complaining about? Ah, I guess your life would have been less confusing without the mess.
Don't sue the Oracle, though. She was DEFINATELY your money's worth.
Sincerely,
Jemima
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I'm sure that you've heard of my teensy little problem with J and them. I've dropped it, but no one else seems to think so, and one member, Twistedbrain, is being far too harsh and constantly chides me. I'm trying to ignore them, I really am, but sometimes the teasing gets so bad that I stay offline for days and days, too sad to go on 667. Is there anything I can do?
Dear Nameless:
Just ignore them. Report 'em to the mods when it gets TOO out of hand. People on here can be mean, and I don't like it. But anyways. Just look out for yourself trying to prevent hassles (like, don't start stupid arguments with people, or don't post really cool member-like).
And don't get sad. Talk to people who could be new friends! PM them and randomly talk. It's fun sometimes.
Hope things work out for you,
Jemmy
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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PERRTY PLEASE send your problems to Jemima. Thank you.
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This week on Jemima's How To!:
How To Dance to Headbanging Music!
Step 1: Borrow music from your metal friends or go to a heavy metal concert
Step 2: Move your head up and down and sideways very rapidly
Step 3: Let your hair fly wildly
Step 4: Scream!
Congrats, you can dance to headbanging music now!
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CARTOON OF THE WEEK
-Lauren.