Post by Akbar Le Grey on May 7, 2006 3:08:49 GMT -5
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda.
Columnists: PJ, une femme auteur anonyme, Jemima, George Dupin, Lauren, Snicket*, He.
Published by the 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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The Anonymous Confession Thread
An article written by Team Hexagons
The shockingly secret and secretly shocking ‘Anonymous Confession Thread’ has remained on the front page since its creation almost a month ago. But why is it so popular amongst members? Are we all secretly gossip mongers or do we just see it as an other opportunity for creativity? Even shortly after its creation it was hit with many members offering their undying love for its creator.
The ‘Anonymous Confession Thread’ was started on April 16th, by Luna. The thread is based partly on the internet confession site Grouphug and has been described as Grouphug 667 style. The thread was started as a place for the most horrible, deepest, darkest secrets of 667’s members. The original confession thread started by Linda was lacking ‘"I sabotaged my best friend's relationship" or "I pawned off a gift my mom gave me for Christmas"’. The decision to create an anonymous confession thread was suggested. It was first worried that the thread might not be Proboards safe or that not many people would go for it. Almost three weeks after its creation, however, it's still on the first page and while the confessions have been weird, none have been particularly unruly.
The Anonymous Confession Thread is a ripe collection of 667 members secrets, happenings or confession that they’d rather share without a name. Madam Luna receives the PMs from anyone with a confession. She then posts the confession, and never reveals who said it - she’s claimed that a few, however, are her own. The thread has been shown much attention from many members, and it has aroused much speculation as to who confessed what.
When she was asked about her famed Anonymous Confessions Thread, Luna had many things to say. She claims she fashioned her thread after Grouphug, PostSecret, and Something Awful. The funniest confession to her is 'I humped a bench'. “It's so direct and to the point! Very little room for confusion there,” she says. Of course, there are also ones with the filters. Headphones and dishwashers are very surreal to her. When asked about which ones she though most extreme, Luna said, “You wouldn't think that the person you're IMing stripped down and had phone sex with some other forum member, for example, and you probably wouldn't guess that so-and-so beat up their best friend for being bisexual or homosexual or something. It's fascinating.” Luna herself has admitted to submitting a few confessions, but there are no prizes for guessing which ones!
What does the average 667er have to say about the Confession Thread? Descartes, a member new to 667, told us this: “Astonishingly comic! A great way to learn about the kinds of people here at 667! 500 thumbs up to Sister Luna!” Skeleton Key said “I like it. I think it's useful, if a little dirty,” and then went on to explain how a confession is like a mutilated torso in a bookbag. Alice has expressed her amazement at the self-control Luna has. “Luna's confession thread is simply divine, though I don't know how she manages to keep quiet. All those secrets...I'm no gossip, but I would have to tell someone,” she says. As for BSam: “i quite like it,” he remarks. “i've used it a couple of times, although i'm slightly scared by who may be masturbating over my picture.” And finally, Jemima has also expressed her love for the thread, as well as voiced a concern that some of the members have: “I love Luna's confession thread. Though it's kind of sad that contributors really only confess things having to do with sexual matters (i.e. I once had an erotic dream about Dante).”
The different confessions lurking within the thread are all very different, weird, and certainly things that people wouldn’t like to admit publicly. From the many confessions, which involve unruly behaviour with Barbie dolls, to descriptions of embarrassing cyber sex, people have been guessing and guessing as to who confessed what. And apparently, no one’s hit the nail on the head quite yet. But as the confessions roll in, so do the speculations; who had cybersex with someone from the forum? Who spiked their friend's food? Who had a huge crush on PJ? Perhaps the answers will never be revealed.
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Dupin’s Rant.
Finding things to rant about these days is hard; the same old problems arise each week-the never ending descent of Klaus19, the never ending annoyance of DarkSpiral, and the never ending stupidity of Triangle Eyes continue to plague our forum, with discussion on the matter seeping into to almost every thread in MM.
Roberts back; yay, although I feel a strange feeling that he never left us. Draw your own conclusions. I was ill earlier this week, can I rant about that? And my favourite football team got relegated, and I couldn’t get the internet to work. And I pressed the wrong button on the phone when trying to ring my mum. Little things that go wrong like that really annoy me and I end up throwing plates and/or cats across the room. D:
This rant is going to be short. Maybe I could rant about Gretchen’s almost-paedophilia encounter, but it’s up to her to make up her mind about stuff like this. She’s clearly happy with her boyfriend, and it’s not up to anyone else, no matter how creepy they find it. The thread is in MM for anyone who has no idea what I’m on about.
Does anyone listen to LostCasts? It’s a great listen, but I’m scared about what happens during the gap between seasons of Lost. I realize at this point that no one reading cares in the slightest. But there’s NOTHING TO RANT ABOUT. So I turn to Robert:
DUPIN:
give me something to rant about
ROBERT:
[male sex organ: CENSORED]
If they're big, they get in the way.
If they're small, nobody wants you.
WTF?
Does he have a point? Send me your views via PM and maybe we can get back to that subject soon. Oh wait, damn, the dreaded word is censored. I’ll edit it. [does so]
Do you have something you’d like me to rant about? Maybe a member, an anecdote, or a joke someone told you that just ISN’T funny? Maybe someone fat who you don’t like, or someone fat who you DO like, or someone fat you have indifferent feelings about. Maybe your new pair of shoes blew up, or maybe your teacher spanked you. Whatever it is, let me know, because I’m all out of ranting material for this week.
You’re probably wasting your time reading this. You could be reading a better article now. Go do that.
-George Dupin.
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It seems like BSam would like to be mentioned in my column, and he appears to agree with me on several issues. Though I feel I've mentioned this before--mentioned BSam, or mentioned the fact that I was mentioning him, or the fact that he'd seemingly like to be mentioned. Anyway, BSam has an interesting point about insult graphics: that they're no good if they're merely being posted as examples of such, and not to make someone actually shut up. Though posting them for the latter cause can be quite a noble aim.
I'm mulling over the fact that many people have claimed to be mulling over the loss of Robert. I rather liked Robert, myself--he gave me something to write about, or at least to mull over, by having constant arguments with the likes of OH13 and Triangle Eyes. It's rather sad to see him banned. I do wonder, however, if the constant references to mulling and mullets by the less clueless (is "clueful" a word?) inhabitants of MMisc are a hint at secret knowledge. At any rate, the newcomer currently known as Friendly Neighborhood Negro seemed like a decent--though slightly more taciturn-- sort of Robert substitute. And the real Robert has returned, inspiring comparisons to Friendly Neighborhood Negro, whom some called a wannabe Robert and some called, indeed, Robert. If Robert was intended to be banned, it seems someone didn't do a good job of doing so. Why, I'm not sure, but I'll certainly mull it over.
Flaming against OrphanedHope and her kin continues, much of it carried out by that Negro fellow, as well as Setnick. I feel rather sorry for these people--OH13, Triangle Eyes, Klaus19-- who can neither improve their posting skills or bring themselves to leave the forum despite all the hatred and smiting; permanent IP banning might do them good. And CWM, it seems, remains a persistent nagging annoyance who cannot be bothered to do research, even something as simple as looking up the definition of sarcasm, it seems. However, I'm pleased to see that a few intelligent people have joined us, improving the overall IQ(and average typing skills) of the newbie population--Descartes and Free Eagle, and others I'm doubtless forgetting. I should also reassure Skeleton Key that she's surely not a really cool member, even if she appears to associate with n00bs.
MMiscellaneous has become overrun with a most hideous scandal--people's genders are being changed, at least in their profiles (unless some of them are undergoing procedures best not spoken of in family newspapers). The reaction of many is to make threads about this, and Klaus19, perhaps unsurprisingly, seems not to know how to reverse this act of profile-hacking. I'm led to understand this sort of thing is the preferred application of power among several of our moderators, despite the somewhat questionable content of MMisc at the moment.
For lack of that much really interesting 667 drama to write about, I've been looking at old threads in CCreativity. Here follows my attempt at reviving an old feature of this newspaper: "The Diary of...", in brief and recursive fashion.
I think I ought to write this diary as if I were a stereotypical really cool member. I'll use lots of exclamation points and chatspeak! Furthermore, I'll mention how I like to read Christian symbolism into everything I stumble across, as well as an obsession with rap music. Though, now that I think of it, mocking religion and musical taste may be a bit too controversial. Maybe I'll make fun of the "randoms", Charlotte and her kin, though they may already dislike me. So maybe I'll instead mimic the highfalutin fancy writing of the pseudo-intellectuals, much as I like them...
Speaking of old threads in CCreativity, it's occurred to me that I'd rather like to be in a story of Alice's, again. The story in question is unfinished, and is one of those Inferno-based reality-show absurdist incest comedies. Contrary to what Alice seems to have inferred from a MSN convo far too long to read through, her story's quite good. I understand I can take a part by filling out the applicable form:
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Ninth Level of Hell - Cocytus!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | Very Low
Level 3 | Moderate
Level 4 | Moderate
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | High
Level 7 | Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus | Very High
It's rather remarkable that I should end up in the same Circle of Hell as such interesting people as Benedict Arnold, Satan himself, and--apparently--the Disturbing Discussion moderator. And with that, I conclude this column --though hopefully not my life, anytime soon.
- Une femme auteur anonyme.
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Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Linda: Welcome to this week's interview, Snicket!
Snicket: Thank you. I am glad to finally do this.
Linda: First off, what is your real name? Is there any special reason for having Snicket as your username?
Snicket: My name is Paul. I have Snicket as my username because I couldn't think of any other username. I'm surprised it wasn't already taken.
Linda: Where are you from?
[Snicket] I am from North Florida. I currently live in Cupertino, California.
Linda: What types of interests do you have? I know you like Apple, but is there anything besides that you're passionate about?
Snicket: I am a magician. Also, I collect older computers and calculators. I also have a large knowledge of movie and TV trivia.
Linda: How would you describe yourself to someone who doesn't know you very well?
Snicket: I have no idea. If I had to fit myself into a group, I would say "Geek". So, I guess that's how I would describe myself.
Linda: Now I understand you’ve planned 667 events in the past, and are planning the apprentice now? What’s it been like planning the Apprentice? Is it turning out better than other events you’ve planned?
Snicket: The events I tried to plan were disastrous. I expected this with The 667 Apprentice, but it hasn't happened-yet. It is great so far. I'm really excited about this project.
Linda: Yeah, I’ve really liked the Apprentice so far too. Good job, Snicket. Now, what do you like most about 667?
Snicket: I like the members of 667. They are all great. They show a lot of variety. They are very colorful people.
Linda: What sections do you visit the most? Why do you visit them, and why do you like them?
Snicket: I visit MM and WW a lot. I like MM because it is so random. I like WW because you find out that somebody has the same interests as you and watches the same stuff you do and so on. WW is a lesson on Pop Culture. I like that.
Linda: You sort of have a stigma as a less-popular member. Do you feel you deserve that? Why do you think that is?
Snicket: I am a popular member. Everybody knows me. And everybody who knows me hates me. It's hard to explain. The reason other members hate me is because of The 667 Awards and because of my poor-hosting of The 667 Creativity Contest.
Linda: Well, we're just about out of time. Would you like to say anything else before it's time to go? Your favorite color perhaps? Or a bit of sage-like wisdom?
Snicket: Well, my favorite colors are blue, white, and black - All signature colors of Apple. And some sage-like wisdom? Okay: The iPod nano is being re-designed and a new version will come out between May-September.
Linda: Well, thanks for your time, Snicket.
Snicket: And thank you.
-Linda.
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