Post by Akbar Le Grey on May 14, 2006 1:46:50 GMT -5
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda.
Columnists: George Dupin, une femme auteur anonyme, Jemima, BSam, Lauren, Alice.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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ORPHANED_HOPE:HAS ALL HOPE BEEN LOST?
An article written by Team Flaming Fedoras.
Since she joined on 7th July, 2005, Orphaned_Hope13's behavior has undergone a number of changes. In her earlier days as a member, many of her posts were deemed "really cool member-ish" by many more experienced forum members (see quoted posts below). However, the same can be said for the majority of newcomers. Even some of today's most respected members of 667 were once considered n00bs. However, as Hope herself has stated, some members are simply chosen as targets, no matter what they do to try to improve their status somewhere. While the below posts may seem really cool member-ish, they really aren't nearly as bad as some new members.
Early Days:
I think that Carmelita's insult is actually a good one. I have used it a few times. Peoples think I'm crazy, but I'm usually so crazy anyhoo that I don't care. The word "Cakesniffer" does two things to me: 1) makes me think about cake 2) makes me think about some really naughty words that it could mean. hehe..... Sorry 'bout that. My BF also is a huge fan of ASOUE and she also uses it and also reffers to cranioectomies waaaay too much.
This post was found in a thread in Burdensome Books soon after she joined.
Currently, many members still see Hope as a really cool member, despite her recent efforts to change this judgment. However, many members feel that she is going about this the wrong way. While she might not be 667's best member, most people would agree that the treatment she received was quite harsh and wasn't truly deserved. Here is one of her posts from about two months ago:
Fine. Create a category for worst member, and nominate me. Because I'm stupid, I'm a really cool member, and I'm not deserving of one speck of attention. Ignore me. Hate me. Call me a whiner. Go on. Do it. I'm not going to stand in your way, beacuse you've broken the only self respect I've had. Thanks, 667.
Even if Hope is a member to take things a bit personally sometimes, she wouldn't have made such a post if she weren't honestly hurt. Unfortunately, this pain became anger and hatred, which she unnecessarily brought into a number of threads. This angered forum members even more. Since then, Hope has calmed down quite a bit, and has changed her display name along with the theme of her profile in hopes to forget the past and start anew. Most of her posts are becoming less really cool member-ish, and it is obvious that she hopes many members will realize this.
Many people on 667 Dark Avenue dislike OrphanedHope; however, several acknowledge the fact that she has not always been as she is now. Member Alice writes:
She's so much more unpleasant than I recalled. I remember her being mildly intelligent at one point, but that's gone now. She's taken the side of the n00bs...Complete traitor.
Other members are more succinct. Robert, with whom OrphanedHope has an open rivalry, states: “She sucks."
However, not everyone has such a negative opinion of the alleged really cool member: Jemima says this:
Orphaned Hope used to be really cool, but now she's a little annoying. […] But you know what, people? She's honestly not the worst really cool member we have around here, and not the most annoying one either.
Betsy, who is known for her kindness, states:
I don't dislike her. I don't understand why so many people dislike her so much. I've never really had a problem with her. [...] I try to be nice to her and stand up for her when people are harrassing her beyond simple insults and such.
The consensus, however, seems to be that were OrphanedHope to revert to her old ways, she would be better liked as a whole.
Many valid points are brought up by newer member Samreen. She writes:
Well a long time ago, I had some respect for her. She didn’t whine or do the whole self-pity thing... Then something happened, she started becoming whiney, and as you know nobody on 667 likes someone who wants sympathy, as in ‘my life is so horrible, everyone's picking on me, I hate Robert, etc.’ She kept on saying that she would leave, but she didn’t, as if she wanted us to go ‘no! Please stay,’ which is what really bothered me. She is now a member that I dislike very much.
This response displays the main point against OrphanedHope: the self-pity which does her so much harm. She is incessantly bashing herself and complaining about how she is hated by everyone. She then proceeds to threaten to leave 667, although she never actually does. Perhaps a little hiatus from active membership would be best for everyone; either that, or a simple acquisition of some self-confidence.
Overall, does one member really deserve all of this? How would you yourself feel if not just one person, but multiple people were attacking you for your personality? Let’s go straight to the source, Orphaned_Hope13, herself, where we asked her a very valid question:
Reporter: Do you think you're a really cool member? Or are you being falsely accused?
Oraphned_Hope: I'm just being myself. I'm a random person and can be really hyper, while at the same time I'm a very sensitive person with a hot temper. I just don't like people yelling at me for being me. So yeah, I think I've been wrongly accused.
Every member has their own opinion about Orphaned_Hope13. Perhaps with her previous acts of self-pity and hatred, our opinions of her lowered. However, now that she is making a great effort to improve her behavior at 667, we should recognize that and encourage her. For once, try to forgive and forget, and start fresh. Included in a response to a question about what she would say to the members of 667 if she could say anything at all, Hope did not bash the members who have been teasing her and giving her a hard time. Instead, she said this: "It might be something small, like calling the person a really cool member, but there is someone else on the other end - someone that could be getting emotionally wounded by your words. You may not care about that person - but they care about what you are saying." This is quite true. Hope is very concerned about the well-being of other members, and if we give her the chance and the respect she deserves, she will likely be able to make 667 a better place for us where our fighting and anger is kept under control.
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SUPPORT SF!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIKKU!
THE SNICKET GALLERY
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Dupin’s Rant.
George could not submit his column this week.
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Once again, forum events hint at conspiracies beyond my knowledge, and which I dare not guess at lest I get quite nastily flamed. We're apparently replacing the moderator of Menacing Miscellaneous, who apparently wasn't told about this. Tragedy, it seemed, got Antenora to set up an application thread for new mods. Trish created a thread of her own on this matter, and she and a convenient G-Mod started hastily making amends and dealing with neglected matters. I'm led to understand that Trish has abused her powers repeatedly, but not been taken to task for it before now. Though, again, I cannot guess at what people might be doing in secret correspondence, or within the unfathomable moderator forum.
After several days of arguing, Tragedy made a somewhat startling choice of new MMisc mod--Snicket. I understand that this same person was once chosen in the past, as a joke, but he really did tolerably well at this moderator job, and that of DDeleter later on. I vaguely wonder if Tragedy chose him as a joke yet again. If that's the case, his joke is at least less cruel than many things Trish has been known to do with her mod powers. Snicket seems unaware that nobody really cares about the bumping of old threads in MMisc, but at least this shows he cares about the rules. Only time will tell whether this mod selection is a good idea, a very bad one, or indeed a joke.
Much arguing has taken place over the exchange of frank opinions, particularly between Ennui and Dupin. The former remains angry at the latter for hastily exposing his participation in the Best of the Best gag-account flamefest, and the latter thinks the former a pretentious snob. My frank opinion of them is that they both have their merits, but on this particular matter they're both acting like children. The Best controversy is over and done with, and I believe everyone should just forget it, as it's rather tedious to read through all the bickering on this forgotten matter--as opposed to bickering on other, more novel matters. That aside, I find it interesting to know what everyone really thinks of each other, unless they're lying about the frankness of their opinions.
Klaus19 continues to be astoundingly dim--she embarks on a covert campaign to exalt people with low karma, making a thread asking who's doing it as a red herring. People, of course, think this is fairly stupid. Then she loudly confesses to being the phantom exalter of newbies. Meanwhile, her own karma fluctuates around the negative forties. I find it both hilarious and depressing that she claims to be something of a bookworm, considering her spelling and grammar. At least her typing is occasionally improving, which means I may find less opportunity to malign her in the future. Oh well, there will always be others.
I don't know if I've complained about Edwin before, but I will now. He not only squabbles with Dupin incessantly, but now gets into incoherent squabbles with my kind editor, the media mogul. Edwin's dislike for Dupin--possibly stemming from the latter's power to come up with good ideas before he does--drove him to create his own banner-making "group", which was promptly shouted down. I do wonder if there's much of a future for independent artists and writers, with the 667er Group controlling things, but I digress. Edwin is an immature brat, incapable of coming up with decent ideas and not even that good at stealing them.
The forum was attacked recently by several spammers who may have all been the same person. One was the infamous Pig, or possibly a copy thereof. Another posted pictures that nearly gave me the vapors--I will just say that they emulated what I understand Robert once did that got him banned. Another merely spewed gibberish, and apparently made another account or two in order to do the same thing. Then came one acting in a generic "really cool member with name of ASoUE character followed by numbers" role, only even more nonsensical than most people of that type. They were cleaned up after relatively quickly, but just kept on coming. People like those spammers make me lose my already decaying faith in humanity--it's truly sad that some exist only to spam random forums with posts ranging from one word to disgusting things I won't describe. I'd like to think that they're all the same person, and therefore less likely to contaminate the gene pool.
For an extra special additional word-count-padding extra feature, I shall attempt to compare 667ers with the forum archetypes mentioned on the popular "Flame Warriors" site. I fear I'll be rather unfair to some of the better people on this site, and I apologize, unless I actually quite dislike you.
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Big Dog/Me Too: Seems many of our members want to be Big Dogs. Within the Books section, Dante takes on this role admirably. Elsewhere, I'd say Setnick is one. JTB and Wasabi fall firmly into the "Me Too" category, as do a few other newcomers.
Furious Typer: CCV, Char, possibly Setnick and Madamluna sometimes, though I rather admire the latter two.
Toxic Granny: No one old enough, unless the forum is even more overrun with fakery than I usually think it is.
Grammarian: Celinra and Setnick display slight tendencies to Grammarianhood, though they are both skilled in debate otherwise. Mental, or possibly Scotty(they're basically interchangeable), acted a lot like this in the past.
Weenie: Snicket, perhaps; no one else seems to fit well.
Profundus Maximus: Akbar and Setnick-- kind of, though they are really very intelligent. Ennui is the closest to this archetype, really, though he too is intelligent and seems to parody himself at times. And I suppose I sound like a Profundus Maximus as well.
God: I suppose TheDisciple came closest to this one.
Propeller Head: Snicket comes to mind, and I'm sure I've seen people who aren't him ramble on similarly about technology.
Diplomat: Dupin and Alice often behave in this manner, and Antenora also plays this role, understandable for a debate moderator.
Evil Clown: BSam, when he's sufficiently coherent. Charlotte and Pandora, too, I suppose.
Deacon: Far too many to list, but not any particularly active at the moment: Sonicflood, Dr Seuss, Nina, TheDisciple, possibly someone else with numbers on the end of their name...
Coffee Klatch: Char, and perhaps her friends.
(Continued next week, if I can be bothered and need extra column inches.)
- Une femme auteur anonyme.
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Interview Of The Week.[/u]
Linda: Welcome to this week’s interview, Samreen!
Samreen: Thank you for the welcome, Linda.
Linda: Now, is Samreen your real name? I’ve always wondered that. If not, why’d you choose it as your username?
Samreen: No, Samreen is not my real name. Well, it sort of isn't. It's actually my middle name. I chose it as my username because I couldn't think of anything at the moment, and besides I don’t know many people who've heard of Samreen.
Linda: Well, you're right; at least, I'd never heard of Samreen before. Anyway, I was wondering, do you know Betsy personally? If not, how'd you get to be owned by her so quickly?
Samreen: No, I do not know Betsy personally. Although I wish I did. I honestly don't know how I became owned by her. It was a spur of the moment thing. She just posted it once, and I went along with it.
Linda: If you had to describe yourself to someone who didn't know you, how would you do it?
Samreen: I'm fun to be around, but I admit that I can be bossy at times. I like to have control over everything around me. I'm pretty artistic when I feel like putting in the effort. I'm easy to talk to. A lot of people come to talk to me about problems, so I give a lot of advice. I'm a bit of everything9. It all depends on my mood.
Linda: What are some of your interests? What type of things do you enjoy doing outside of 667?
Samreen: I play tennis, basketball (although I suck at it), and I run track. I read a lot, and like to be outdoors when I can. I also draw in my free time. I'm into politics, chem., art, math, and science.
Linda: Ooh, fun, you like math. I like math a lot myself. Now, as a fairly new member, still fairly unknown to some members, do you sometimes wish that people knew you better? Do you think that you're fairly well known?
Samreen: Yes, I do wish some members knew me better, they often don't really get to know me. And I'm sure that I would befriend a lot more people. And I don't consider myself fairly known. I'd like to think that people have heard of me. But I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people that don't know me at all.
Linda: The first few months on the forum are difficult for everyone, if it's any consolation; it just seems to take time for everyone to get to know you.
Samreen: Thank you Linda, I'll keep that in mind.
Linda: Which boards do you visit the most? What do you feel are the most interesting things at 667?
Samreen: I visit BB a lot. But I don't post much there. A lot of people have already posted what I've thought. I think that the most interesting things at 667 are its members. Everyone is different, and it really makes every post made by a person special.
Linda: That's a very interesting outlook.
Linda: Do you have anything in particular you'd like to tell the 667ers? Consider it a shout-out, maybe, a special chance to tell them anything you want.
Samreen: Yes I would, I would like to thank them. 667 has been a place that I know I can go to when I need to. And I know that there are a lot of people (if not a few) that I can talk to if I need to. And I can always find a laugh if I need one, or read an amazing story. So thank you 667.
Linda: Now, for no visible reason other than to end the interview on a random note, what is your favorite color?
Samreen: I have a couple: green, black, and orange.
Linda: Thanks, Samreen! I'd like to especially thank you for agreeing on the spur of the moment.
Samreen: You are welcome, and it was an honor to be interviewed by none other than Linda!
-Linda.
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Jemima's Unadvice Column.
Dear (The future) Jemima Gurney (Because I figure that when Perciful grows up, he'll marry a crazy cat lady.),
Oh, where should I start? There are so, so many problems in my life that I couldn't possibly know where to begin! Oh, I am so disoriented as it is!
I'll start with my parents. They each came from seperate third world countries, then were enslaved and met at a slave auction. They escaped and stowed away in a barrel of rotten herring on a ship to another third world country, under the assumption that life would be better. It turned out to be worse.
I was birthed by convicted felons in a burning barn, full of bloodthirsty leeches from the nearby lake, in a hailstorm, during a landslide. My parents found that the rotten herring they'd been exposed to had given their child the power to shapeshift, but only into other forms of orphans.
I grew up in poverty, and slept on scrap metal in the backalleys, since if I slept in the gutter, drunken vomit and and the bodies of people who died from the plauge would be thrust upon my sleeping form.
One day, there was a hailstorm. It hailed every day in the winter, so I thought nothing of it. But suddenly, a swarm of killer bees enprisoned in hailstones came hurtling toward my parents and I. The hailstones hit hard, breaking on impact and knocking my mother and father unconscious. The freed bees then started stinging them. I was about to administer some random medical procedure, when I saw a group of anti-orphans vigilantes coming around the corner. I knew I'd be killed, so I jumped into the gutter and was carried along the water current, with dead bodies and vomit in tow, to a storm sewer. I was washed out of the sewer, and into the river, which flowed into the ocean, where I saw a gigantic barge.
Using my scarf and some bobby pins as a makeshift grappling hook, I hooked onto the edge of a porthole and was soon being dragged alongside the ship.
I traveled like this for two months before reaching shore. But the sand felt like ground glass, and there were sharp rocks all over the shore. I passed out from pain and exhaustion.
When I awoke it was foggy, and I could barely see my hand in front of my face. I saw the blurred outline of a sign ahead of me, and akwardly climbed the poles supporting it. When I got to the top, I saw, lettered in wrought iron, "Welcome to Ville Mori"
I still live there. My only companions are as follows:
Delilah Samson, a hair stylist/gypsy that makes voodoo dolls out of hair trimmings.
Lunatic "Luna" Lye, a surgeon who's sick in the head herself.
Perciful "Percy" Gurney, Lunatic's hypochonriacal, disobedient, frankenstein's monster of a patient.
Gretchen, a crazed, zombified street artist that goes by the nickname "Skeleton Key", who drew this picture of me.
So here are my most prominent, recent problems:
1. How do I get my friends to realize how truly tragic I am?
2. Gretchen is dating an evil concierge (Named Corey) from a shady hotel down the street, and I'm worried for her sake and the concierge's sake. Who will murder/severely injure who first?
3. The concierge hasn't eaten in a week, and Gretchen hasn't eaten in a few days (Being a street artist.). How do I get some cheap food for them if I can't even feed myself?
4. Do you know some orphans of with similar interests that I can get together with?
Thank you and good day,
Pitia
P.S. If you see a ragamuffin dressed in shakespearean clothes on your doorstep, please sign her petition.
Dear Pitia,
Whoa. You sure have had a life. Before I say anything else, let me tell you that I will not be a "future Jemima Gurney." I'm not a crazy cat lady, I just happen to love cats. Is that too bad? Plus, if I did marry Percy, I would keep my surname, and hope he would take my own surname.
Okay. Here it goes, for answering:
1. Tell them straight up; write an amazing biography and give it to them. If they're really your friends they'll pay attention to it and get your point.
2. Um... probably the concierge. I read this book where an evil triplet concierge hid out in a big hotel set out like a library. But anyway. The bad guys kinda won in it. So this is supposedly an omen. Gretchen better watch out for herself.
3. You can always try to get a job at a diner. Then you can feed the scraps to Gretch and the concierge, and use your salary to feed yourself.
4. Sorry, I don't know any orphans you can get together with. Well, personally I don't, but the same book series that had the evil triplet concierge in it had six orphans in it that you could get to know. I don't know where one currently is, but two are in the skies in a hot air balloon, and the other three are on the seas with a villain. I feel bad for them. But your story makes me feel sympathy for you.
Hope I helped.
Sincerely,
Jemima
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Dear Jemima,
I can never get enough sleep. How can I get enough sleep so that I'm not tired all the time?
Dreamily,
SF
Dear Snicket Face,
Second. ed.
Don't eat icky foods that are full of sugar and fat. They keep you up.
And no caffeine for you before bedtime. And also no exercising. It tells your body that you want to stay up, but you know you don't want to. So, don't chug pop or do jumping jacks and laps before you fall in bed.
Okay. Now you gotta get a sleeping schedule for your brain. You can go to bed anytime you want, but I don't recommend staying up until 5 in the morning, only to wake up an hour later to get ready for school. But yes, you can go to bed anytime. Just try to wake up around 8-9 hours later. That's really how much a person needs to be fully awake.
Sweet dreams!
Jemmy
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Dear Jemima,
I forgot about a project until three days before it was due, and then I left my notebook in the school gym. What do I do if this happens again?
-Overly Stressed
Dear stressed:
Remember last week's issue where I gave you the guide to procrastinating? Good job for following it, but remember when procrastinating you have to REMEMBER the assignment you were given so you know you have it but you aren't doing it.
To prevent an incident like this from happening again, carry your notebook around all the time like it's a notebook of Isadora's or Duncan's or Klaus's. You won't forget it then.
If this does happen again, beg your teacher for more time, or wake up early in the morning to finish it.
Gah! I forgot to do a project that's due for Monday!!
(not really,)
Jemster
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SEND PROBLEMS TO JEMMY OR YOU WILL SUFFER SEVERE SMITING BY THE NOTORIOUS J.
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This week on Jemmy's How To!:
How To Hug a Person!
Step 1: Find a person, be it your mother or a complete stranger.
Step 2: Wrap your arms around them tightly in a loving way.
Step 3: Say, "You're a great person and I love you!"
Step 4: Back away while smiling.
Step 5: Wonder why the stranger ran away from you quickly, or why they're calling the police. Or, just smirk if they didn't run.
Step 6: Leave if you must, but stay if they want you to stay.
-Jemima.
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