Post by Akbar Le Grey on Jul 2, 2006 3:35:11 GMT -5
July 2nd – July 9th.
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Sub-editor: Linda*, Robert.
Columnists: PJ, une femme auteur anonyme, Jemima, Tess*, George.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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Ah, memories. That's what this past week has been about, right? And what a wonderful week it's been... aside from the kidnapping of J, anyway. Things of that sort have been quite an ordeal, but everything else seems to have run smoothly. I'm sure you got the item of your choice at the auction... and if you didn't, I'm sure you're still swearing like a sailor under your breath about the person who did. If you bid on the cello case, or the cookie jar, I'm sure you're rather proud of yourself, helping save two members. I'm sure you would make a very fine detective.
There were a lot of clues thrown around during the week. A few of them were very difficult, whereas some were a little easier, but that's what happens when people have mixed intelligence, right? Not everybody can figure everything out. Kudos to the members smart enough to figure everything out, though, because not even I could. Also, I would like to say at this point that you're a liar if you say you DID figure everything out, seeing as I distinctly remember having to PM special messages to certain auction winners. Unless, of course, you were an auctioneer, but as such you wouldn't have had to do much deduction at all, seeing as it was spoon-fed to us...
The questions we had for trivia ranged from insanely difficult to just plain difficult, with almost nothing below this range. Most of the questions were nearly impossible unless you have been here for a great majority of the time. I myself, a longtime and respected member, had a great deal of difficulty with the quiz questions, and didn't bother to submit my answers. Sorry, swans. I was very pleased, though, to find that I was included in either two or three questions. I would also like to thank Tess on a job well done.
So, in conclusion, I would like to thank the staff, myself included (no shame in giving yourself a great big pat on the back every once in a while), for a job well done. Without you guys, none of this could have ran as smoothly as it did. It went over brilliantly, and I only hope our future anniversaries can be this great. Hell, I only hope that we can have future anniversaries period.
To another year, even without the series,
-Robert, sub-editor
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PJ’s Rant
So yeah, Akbar pounced on me the minute I returned to MSN after playing Kingdom Hearts (beat Clayton and that weird invisible chameleon thing!) and demanded I write an article, cos he needed “filler”.
I don’t know why I should, since last time I did, he did something that resulted in my Karma being cut in HALF. There’s also the whole “I dunno what the hell I’m supposed to write” factor, but that’s less important. As well as the fact that Akbar thinks of my article as “filler”.
Uh….Eoghann left…anniversary is over…Klaus19 returned (and is acting like a jackass)…J.’s been kidnapped…and a bunch of old members (specifically, Kate) have returned, hopefully permanently.
Yup, that’s about everything import that happened this week, and none of it is too interesting.
So I guess I’ll just go back to the “say whatever comes into your mind-type rant”.
Alice is awesome. She got me out of a writing rut that has lasted for ages. So yeah, hopefully, I’ll be posting 3 new stories soon. 2 of them 667 ones, the third just a normal one.
Uh….Doctor Who is downloading…Dead Man’s Chest comes out Thursday…Australian National Fencing Competition Tommorow (D: )…Australia AND Switzerland dropped out of the world cup…
Fine, I’ll rant properly. I love Robert’s “im in ur base” thread. It’s brilliant.
I guess I’ll just rant about Libitina’s “I need help” thread. I thought it was pretty non-sensical, until it was pointed out to me that Libitina was trying to be helpful, and everyone just acted like a bunch of idiots and spat in her face.
Which kinda got me thinking about the callousness of this forum on a whole. We really aren’t nice people, are we?
But it’s much easier and funnier to make witty and hurtful comments than to bond and become great friends. Besides, we’re all going to die one day, anyway.
Well, that’s about all. I know, it was lame/uninteresting (minus points to anyone who lies about this to try and make me feel better), but then again, it’s only “filler”, after all.
Then again, when you think about it, aren’t our lives filled mostly with…well…filler?
PJ out.
-PJ.
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I'M DOING A NEW SORT OF FORMAT WITH A HEADLINE FOR EACH PARAGRAPH OR SO
Self-explanatory. Experimenting with format never hurts, unless you're making one of those ever-popular Proboards with hot pink text on a lime-green background and such, but I digress. On with the journalism!
OBLIGATORY THING THAT HAPPENED ALMOST A WEEK AGO THAT I COULDN'T MENTION LAST ISSUE
Dupin has won the 667 Apprentice, as the newspaper(and Dupin) made quite clear even before Dupin was given his official GMod powers. This rather improves the average intelligence and activity quotient of our global moderation force. Libitina put his winning down to his greater popularity-- which I think derives from Dupin's greater politeness, myself. I do rather sympathize with her, though, she's been saying her plans for the forum have failed or been taken over. Sometimes, I do find that events are over with before I can write about them, making me look like I'm dredging up old conflicts. Like now. Sorry. Anyway, I must congratulate Dupin, though belatedly, and I understand all of the contestants did admirably. Moving along now.
MEMBERS I HARDLY REMEMBER
Our anniversary celebrations continued for a few days, with the bumping of a few old threads and the returns of a few old members whom I understand were popular in their time. Most of them I'm sure I've seen, if only in the Archives. And Triangle Eyes continues to annoy, counting her extremely poor "GangstaGoat" account from a few months ago among those memories. Anyway, it appears I might have to write a special column devoted to the winner of an auction, namely J. I'm not sure which of her myriad accounts I should focus on, but I've said enough about her that I might just reprint things from my past columns. I could always suggest shippings to her, as well, seeing as that's worked in the past. However, whether or not I really have to do anything remains to be seen.
SINCE NOT THAT MUCH APPEARS TO BE HAPPENING, I MUST NITPICK
Why exactly do people (if by people I mean twistedbrain, at the moment) find it necessary to bring up the UE.com conflict so long after the fact? I realize that some members here have a long-standing tradition of mocking UE, considering it 667's little snot-nosed illegitimate half-brother, as it were, but it may be best not to forcibly point this out to newcomers who happen to be from UE, and who aren't half as bad as some 667ers who have never been to UE (unless they got banned from it, and that's why they came here). Speaking of banned people, I'm afraid Klaus19 is back. I understand she was temporarily banned, and I suppose it's merely been a temporary amount of time since then, but it hasn't seemed like very long. Maybe she'll have improved herself, but I fear I'll have to devote a lot of column inches to her mischief next week.
NOT SURE IF THIS REALLY DESERVES A SUBSECTION HEADLINE, BUT...
As I may have mentioned earlier, Nina is back, and slightly improved from the last time she was here, at least in terms of post readability. She claims she's running away from home (as Robert pointed out, apparently doing so with a laptop and wireless connection), or at least planning to do so. And she's desperately seeking a boyfriend, and has either met at this site, or introduced to it, another generic fellow named Joe. Something like that, it's not made entirely clear. I'm not sure if Nina will stir up enough chaos to fill a column, like some past members have, but that's a matter of time.
SAYING SOMETHING KIND FOR ONCE
While I'm not sure if I'm one of the members Alice reveres a lot (though I may catch a little secondhand glory by being part of this very-important-to-her site), I must say that I like her. She seems like quite a good person, and is always interesting to watch, and I liked getting a part in that fanfiction of hers once. Makes me seem more like an actual member, and less like a borderline fictional character, although one might argue that everyone on the Internet is really borderline-fictional, their online personas reflecting only fragments of their true nature. Anyway, Alice is rather cool. And since it was recently her birthday, I offer her a picture of a celebrity I understand she likes, although I may not have the right one:
AND LAST, SOMETHING I MAY FOLLOW UP BELATEDLY NEXT WEEK
My kind editor is writing fanfiction involving, in some way, our newspaper and those involved with it. I am not in it, as of now, but it seems to involve the death, or at least disappearance, of JTB, which does make it rather intriguing. I can look forward to seeing more of this, I suppose, and seeing myself in it and consequently seeming rather more like a real person as a result.
- Une femme auteur anonyme.
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Dear Jemima,
My friend won't talk to me. We fought, but I apologized. He still won't talk to me. I'm so confused. What do I do?
From,
667's Resident Idiot
Dear Idiot,
Give him a little present to show your sorrow to him. Guys like little things like that. If you think it would be right, give him a little peck on the check if you're trying to resolve more issues with him. He'll understand you're really sorry and he'll forgive you.
Or leave him forever with the guilt of the fight. They always come back.
Forgive and/or forget,
Jemima.
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Dear Jemima,
My neighborhood is swarming with little kitties, all of which my dog is afraid of. They tend to follow me, and when I turn around, they run away. Are they just being friendly or are they plotting some devious Zavi downfall?
Signed,
The little--oh, forget it! Zavi.
Okay, dear Zavi,
Kitties are NOT evil. No matter what the media portrays them as, they are not evil. Some may be evil, because in every species you have to have some type of evil persona to attack whatever they think is good and is truly really bad. But as a whole, cats are not going to attack babies in their sleep or come and create a worldwide catastrophe. Go it?
That said, either this group of beauties following you is in love with your dog, or they're some type of mafia planning to overthrow the dog mafia in your local area. Look them over for a minute, and their auras will ignite your intuition if they are good or bad. Also, if they happen to be following your dog, they might think he's their father. Small animals tend to actually do this; the first thing they see when they open their eyes, they will think is their guardian. Possibly not, but that's a possibility. They probably like the dog and not you. Sorry, but maybe something's wrong with your aura and the moods don't connect. Heh heh.
But no. It's probably most likely they're shy but friendly, little wolf. Don't worry about it. Try comforting your doggie to sleep if they get on his nerves a lot.
Contact the astrologists, Gretchen or Antenora, if you have further problems.
Signed off,
Jemsterry
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Please send your problems to Jemima kitty as soon as possible, please. We don't want her to resort to eating her cats if she can't get food because she can't get pay.
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This week on... Jemima's How To!:
How to Invent your Own Word!
Step 1: This one is easy. If you do a typo on the computer or when you're writing, take to it and put a weird or special meaning behind it.
Step 2: This one is a bit harder. If you're amazingly bored, look at something. Think of how it's spelled. Look at something else. Think of how that word of the object is spelled. Morph them together to make a hybrid of the two. Or, if you're EXTREMELY bored and you want your word to be strange but awesome, look at (or think of) 60 things and somehow put all 60 words together. For example:
Pear + Apple + Shoe + Television + Cat + Dog + Tail + Snake + Poster + Mohawk + Book + Chair + Church + Sofa + Couch + Snicket + Hair + Guitar + Lemonz + Teh + Toilet + England + Soccer + Grass + Dirt + Bed + Stillettos + Knife + Redrum + Murder + Suicide + Stephen King + Contacts + MSN + Lost + Rap + Wrap + Mummy + Egypt + Penguin + Polka dots + Dress + Red + Romance + Day + Chili + Rock + Stone + Michigan + Letter + Pen + Mongoose + Kiss + Love + Dupin + Rachel + Stonehenge + Wheat + Blobs + the shrink FINALLY =
Peappeshotvatogailakeposthawookchasofcourchicketgatiroztehtoilglandccerassirtedettosiferummuricidkingtactsemesen
losehwrapmygyptguindotressremancedachiliocktonchiganterpenoosekislovdupchelhengeatblohehink.
Whoa... good luck trying to pronounce that.
-Jemima.
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BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU
evil667bb.proboards107.com
So, 667 Big Brother 4 finally started last Sunday, and in just a week, a lot has happened. Feuds, laughs, and even an evil twist that was to decide the fate of all the housemates.
A mysterious thread entitled ‘VOLUNTEERS’ asked housemates to, simply, volunteer. Descartes and Twistedbrain were the (un?)lucky members who did so, and were unsure about their future on the forum until it was announced that they now led a club named ‘The Big Brother Posse’, which was the theme for this week’s task. As the leaders, the two of them were immune from eviction, and as well as getting special treatment, they got access to a secret hidden clubhouse, where over the week, members would slowly join them.
Libby was chosen as the next member, and Eoghann, SetnicK and Jemima joined not long after that, down to the member’s choice. On Wednesday, all the members of The Big Brother Posse were asked to nominate two people each to join. Euro, Robert, and Kyle each received the most nominations, and joined the Posse, leaving Jacques, Songbird, and Klaus19 to face eviction in Week One.
Things wound down between the announcement of the end of the Big Brother Posse task, until yesterday, with 60% of the vote, Klaus19 became the first housemate to be evicted. She claims to have been “treated like a wild animal” by other housemates, but her interview has not yet taken place.
So, the first week, and twist, is over, but what does Big Brother have planned next? A challenging fashion-themed task is on the way, and more twists are just around the corner…
(Remember, you can still join the forum and request to be a viewer by sending me or Linda a PM!)
-George Dupin.
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Movie Review
Does the world really need another Superman movie?
by Sora
After almost thirty years since the last Superman movie, audiences around the world were asking, 'Do we really need another Superman movie?'. The last film in the Superman series, Superman IV was the flop of the decade, and with the actor, Christopher Reeve, having just died one year previous, the movie seemed destined to fall harder then someone jumping out of a top floor window from a screening of Gigli.
But it didn't.
Maybe it was the fresh new face that dazzled the ladies. Maybe it was the look of Lois Lane soaked in water with her shirt nearly off. Or maybe it was the fact the movie actually wasn't that bad.
I'm going with the latter.
Superman Returns takes place five years after the events of Superman II, with the Man of Steel returning from planet Krypton, or what remains of it. Many things have changed and many things haven't, but the biggest change is Superman's eye candy. Lois Lane has fallen in love with another man, and had a child. Also, she has declared Superman redundant, and wrote a Pulitzer Prize winning article on 'Why the World doesn't need a Superman'. She feels Superman betrayed her by not telling her he was leaving, especially when she just had spent the night with him in his fortress of solitude. J-E-R-K, in my books.
But, anyway, Superman returns to Earth and resumes his dual life of saving the world and writing articles for the Daily Planet.
Meanwhile, the evil Lex Luthor has escaped from jail and, big surprise, has a dastardly plot up his sleeves, one he has achieved the funds for by having some special time with a few dying old ladies. He and the guy from the Producers should team up some time; they would rule the retirement world.
Lois catches on too this plot after several blackouts caused by crystals stolen by Luthor from Superman's Fortress. These crystals have the power of a million trillion civilizations, and can make a continent in a minute. Luthor plans to make a continent of the coast of Washington D.C, destroying land in all directions of it, and costing billions of lives.
The film has some excellent special effects, namely one where Superman is shot in the eye with a bullet, and it crushes and bounces of his eye. The plot may be a tad B-movie-ish, and the dialogue is occasionally corny, but heck he wouldn't be Superman without his cheesy mannerisms, so I guess you'll have to suck it up and deal with them.
So does Superman save the day? Does he get the girl even though she's engaged to another guy? And what's the deal with the Kurt Cobain looking son? I won't spoil it, but I suggest you fly over to your local cinema and catch the flick that definitely makes up for its predecessors.
Rating: 4 out of 5.
-Sora.
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This is just going to be short, rant-y editorial, directed at my staff.
Okay, I am sick and tired of having to beg random people to write articles on Sunday morning. If you can’t regularly submit columns, please resign. If you’re just going away for a while, just PM me. But don’t agree to be a permanent columnist and then not send in articles. I’m looking at Eoghann, Snicket and Sixteen here.
Robert didn’t send in his article either, but made up for it by writing a lede. Frankly, I don’t need columnists who aren’t going to take their job seriously. You have the entire week to notify me if you’re going somewhere and can’t submit your article, or if you want to resign before the next edition. But, no, why show unnecessary politeness, right? Good grief, it’s really quite pathetic.
As of now, everyone who didn’t submit a column or an excuse this week is off the ‘columnists’ list. If you want to get back on there, you need to send me an article by the end of today (Sunday), which will be counted as your article for this edition (though it won’t be published). You will then have to agree to keep sending in articles every week, or send me an excuse when you don’t intend to. It takes about 10 seconds to write ‘Sorry, Akbar, I can’t write an article this week’, and PM it to me. Show some courtesy, at least.
I’m very disappointed. However, I’m very proud of everyone who sent in articles. You guys are the people I can trust. (:
Peace Out,
Akbar Le Grey.
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The 667 Advertiser is not being published this week, but will be back next week.