Post by Akbar Le Grey on Jun 17, 2007 14:42:45 GMT -5
June 17th - June 24th.
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Contributors: J, une femme auteur anonyme,Robert, Dismay.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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It's 667's Big Birthday. Why is it big, you ask? Because everyone is scrambling to make up for the utter mediocre goings-on that have made up 667 this year. Either way you slice it, there's only so much you can do on a message board, but not for lack of trying. It's easy to be cynical, critical and captious—I am, after all, J. (though maybe my initial should be changed to C) but I do have to give credit where credit is due: to the tenacious little buggers who are trying, like little ants or fishes, to fight against 667's tide of lameness, all without resorting to an easy quick-fix solution for a dose of excitement: posting hentai.
The forerunners of the planning, as they so often are, are Tragedy, Cybermystery, PJ, Akbar, Linda, Lib and others.
Snicket's been conspicuously absent from the planning, but lurking around the board more often than usual. I bet he's too busy making homeless people smile with magic and growing hair in different places for the first time to deal with us immature little kids. Swans and Char are back, which is sort of cool. Hey, did you know they were gone? Just kidding. The theme is “carnival.” Probably carnivorous. From June 20th to June 24th, Tragedy and others will be working hard to make proboards as much of a carnival as possible. As long as there are no clowns, it should be OK.
I'm writing this article with both feet behind my head, so I guess that fulfils the contortionist requirement; and I also have scoliosis and bad posture—I'm a contortioning hunchback. I'm also fairly proficient with my left hand, aren't I awesome? For real.
Linda has an extensive list of ideas for carnival booths. They're fairly cool, even though I don't know what a balloon pond is, and I also don't know how most of these things are going to work. I suppose we can find links to games online, like Whack a Mole and Ring Toss. Or I could just, you know, try to get Willow to use her stupid witch-ass and shoot homing missiles at her girlfriend like she's supposed to on my PS2.
Tragedy has some contests and prizes. I wouldn't mind winning one of those prizes, particularly moderator-ship. Ah, if only you could hear my maniacal laughter! And he purchased a Snicket audiobook. How nice. Songbird suggested an awards ceremony, but Tragedy cryptically said “No awards. I have my reasons and you'll understand later.” Oh, Tragedy. That line was so cryptic Snicket must be hard. They're also going to have an auction, like we did that one time for that one event that I forgot what it was.
I just hope this doesn't end like that little town of Wigfield. Shruti knows what I'm talking about.
- J.
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The Subjective Flaneur's
Number Crunching Happy Time
Number Crunching Happy Time
Those of you who pay far too much attention to my column might recall that, around this time last year, I found the Number of the Beast hidden in this forum's date of founding. (It's much easier to find it, by the way, in the forum's actual name.) In light of our upcoming anniversary, I shall present some findings regarding this date which are perhaps even more startling, in part because this actually works.
Consider the date: 6-22-02
Count backwards nine months from June of any given year, and you find September, the ninth month of the previous year, as if you have neatly halved the number of months. Continuing the pattern, now count backwards half the number of days, subtracting and leaving 11. The year, or at least the last two digits of it, has already been cut in half by the backwards month-counting thing. The resulting date is rather interesting; it if wasn't, I wouldn't be publishing this.
Is this not a creepy but surely meaningless coincidence?
- Une femme auteur anonyme.
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Yo dawg, wassup? This ya boy Robert. Fo' da last couple mizzonths, I been chillin' wit my homies over at www.gangsterrpg.com an' I decided to wrizzite a repo't on ma findin's an' shizzle, nawmean?
So you know, I like stepped up in that beeyotch an' shizzle an' at first I was like, "Yo, what's this joint brah?" an' then I started realizing it was just like one of dem RPG shizzles. After a whizzile, I was cool wit' what I was doin', nawmean? Like it was an' RPG shizzle, nawmean? So I was like whatever, brah.
Then I fizzound the forums an' I ain't got no idea what was happenin', nawmean? Like it felt like I was in Europe or some shizzle, the ish was completely diff'ent than I was used to, nawmean? So I was jus' like whatever an' I started chillaxin' an' I started to fit in an' ish, so I was like iight, we can roxx out wit' dis, nawmean?
But then niggas be startin' beef an' ish, so I ain't really know what to do an' it ended in rap battles an' shizzles, nawmean? I ain't really used to squashin' beef an' ish so I jus' tried ma best an' shizzle an' in the end, it was all good. You know how we do.
So all an' all, it was cool, brah. We all jus' chillaxin' an' ish.
-Robert "the Yellow Dart" Kline
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This article brings a whole new meaning to the word “Doggie Bag”.
So, tonight I was walking with my father and my dog, Rex. I happened to be in charge of “the bag”- the receptacle in which we pick up our dog’s feces and put it in a trash can at a later time, preferably after the walk. We are required to, or else be fined something like $1000 dollars. No joke. But over the years, I’ve noticed different types of “bag” carriers.
There are the fashionable ones, which have bags stored in the leash, pull them out when necessary, and then carry the poo quickly and quietly to the nearest trash receptacle.
Then there are the “swingers” who not only carry the bag, but swing it as they walk! I never, ever, want to be a swinger. Then there are those, like me, who carry it on one finger, bag knotted, and down by the knees, because of the smell.
The final group, the group I like least, is the “pick up and drop it” group, where they put the stuff in the bag, and then leave it for someone else. Our next door neighbours do better than that, but worse for us. They leave the full bags next to their front door, leaving us all to smell the sweet aroma of “dog poo in the rain”. I think the funniest story related to the bags happened recently, when my sister and I were dog-sitting, and when we dropped the dog off, I forgot “the bag” on their kitchen counter- good thing I remembered it… after I got into my own home. My sister STILL teases me about it. We now pick up after our dogs- what’s next in benefit of the dogs? Requirement to send your pooch to a doggie spa?
-Dismay.
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Hi all.
Well, first things first: the anniversary plans seem to be coming together well, so we all have something to look forward to, come Wednesday. So, anticipation, joy. D:
And I’m glad to see that MM’s becoming more active again, what with the return of some of 667’s favourite in-joking postmonkeys. We’re just missing Ann and Kate now, and I hope they’ll be around for the anniversary. So, wot else is happening…
There’s a neighbours thread!
And a father’s day one!
Yzay!
*falls asleep on keyboard and ruins 667er*
Honestly, though, where is the drama? I mean, it’s all very nice to have everyone making nice jokes and amicably posting and having injokes and whatnot, but a good forum needs drama; it feeds on it. A lack of conflict and melodrama is the main reason for the decay of 667. Without angst, controversy and insults, 667, and MM in particular, is just a pale shell of its old self. I think wrote about this in the last editorial, but it’s come to the point where it’s lamentable enough to dedicate an entire 667er to. Even though drama and conflict might seem painful at the time, resolving them just gives one this warm fuzzy feeling y’know?
Okay, even I don’t know what I’m writing now. ):
We have quite a good issue this week, with an article from one of our most-missed columnists, an interesting comment by Dismay, Robert and J’s fabulous articles, as well as a fascinating, thought-provoking, beautifully written short story. Bon appetit!
Speaking of ‘beautifully written’, you should all go read J’s new musical, because it is simply stupendous. (:
CC's actually been inundated with a ton of good stories recently, with new additions from renowned 667-writers like Alice, PJ, Cybermsytery and, of course, J. I still haven't read most of them myself, but I look forward to going through them.
In other news, it’s still hot and humid and yuck. I’m going to London on the 25th, so anyone who’d like to arrange a 667 meetup in England should PM me.
Something else to look forward to is 667BB 5; 667BBs are always fun, and with the new twists in this one, I’m sure it’ll be able to provide tons of what 667 carves: drama.
Peace out,
Akbar.
PS: About the change in publishing time: it’s now going to fluctuate with whatever time is convenient for me, and, in special circumstances, writers. It’ll always be published on Sunday, though.
PPS: I’m sorry, shelly247, but I couldn’t find your interview. I’ll ask someone to interview you for next week, if it’s convenient.
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