Post by Akbar Le Grey on Nov 11, 2007 14:49:46 GMT -5
November 11th - November 18th.
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Emergency Editors: PJ, Linda.
Contributors: Linda, Shruti, Zaid, Cybermystery, PJ, tim, Alice, J., Dismay
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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On Wednesday night (American time), strange things were happening on 667, as those who were there can attest to. Posts were disappearing, threads were vanishing, Swans lost her G-mod powers, and Betsy's account was deleted. It was all very confusing to the casual observer, and as nearly all posts from that night were deleted, many people were unaware that anything had even happened. So what was it? Was it a hacker? Was it a staff member playing tricks? What really happened that night?
It all began when Swans got a friend of hers, known only as Nightingalesbain, to IM Tragedy. "I was hoodwinked, man," Tragedy says, explaining that this person pretended to be the former member known as Mamba and demanded to be made a moderator. He wanted to teach Swans a lesson about wasting his time, and so proceeded to take away her G-mod powers and give them to Nightingale.
What followed was a prime example of why inexperienced members should not be given power. Nightingale wanted to play a trick on her friend Swans, she explained, and so decided to ban her. Not knowing her username, though, she just began banning random people. By the time Swans herself was banned, a lot of others had also been affected, including Betsy, who through a mistake on the part of Nightingale had had her account deleted.
Other people who were online at the time and had noticed the strange occurrences tried to make threads and posts asking what had happened, but everything was deleted, leaving an air of mystery over the whole affair and frustrating a lot of curious members. Nightingale, a little embarrassed over what had happened, explained she had done this to try to erase all evidence of what had occurred, though all it really did was make people more determined to find out what had happened.
Once Tragedy realized what was going on, he removed Nightingale from power and put things back to the way they were. All recently-banned people were unbanned, and Swans' powers were restored. Unfortunately for Betsy, her account was lost forever and she is now using a new account. She is still pretty sad about the loss of her account and what she thought was indifference to her plight (which isn't exactly true; in reality, most of the posts worrying about her got deleted before she could ever see them), and wishes she could get her posts back. And Tragedy has lamented, "I still haven't got Mamba back."
- Linda.
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Well, hey guys. It’s Cybermystery here. I’m glad that we have gotten a chance to bring the 667er back, it’s a great feeling. 667 has been changing a lot lately. Seems once summer ended and school started again, we’re losing people. A lot of people have said their farewells and have deleted their accounts. But we aren’t fully losing everyone, I myself am one of the people who cannot contribute to 667 as much because of school. But, hey, I’m trying and everyone else is.
Seriously, we need something to bring the site back. People need a great reason to come back, but obviously can’t duplicate what happened last summer. I feel that we need something great. I have had an idea. Our Christmas celebration is pretty plain. We do change our usernames and the banners for the 13 days, but I feel maybe we should do more. I don’t know what really, but this should be something where we bring everyone back. We should get them to come again, so maybe just maybe they’ll stick around.
Well, you don’t want to hear me talk, so I guess this is the end of my rant. Someone else has probably got a better rant, and frankly, I haven’t even given my idea to Tragedy yet (though, by the time you read this, he’ll probably have it, so watch out if you try to steal my idea.)
Well, in addition to my rant I’d like to make some song suggestions for you iPod listeners out there.
Fall Out Boy – I’m Like a Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get Me Off You (Me And You)
youtube.com/watch?v=aT434G38OBg
Damn, if they made these titles any longer, we wouldn’t be able to say them. Well, we can’t really say them now, but this song is great from them. It has a great feel to it.
Under Pressure (Cover) – MCR and the Used
youtube.com/watch?v=Cz7rkKx7Sow
The original song is great, but this new cover adds a flare to it I never thought could be added. Now for my last, because I know most of you don’t care what I think.
Until The End of Time – Justin Timberlake feat. Beyonce
youtube.com/watch?v=X_niDJeWcao
Now this song is good for people who like Justin Timberlake or who like Beyonce or who like Justin Timberlake singing with Beyonce or with…never mind. This is a good slow song for those people who like having slow songs on their iPod, like me.
And that is the end of my rant, thank you for reading and listen to a song or two, it will make you feel good. If you want me to rant about something particular or if you want me to recommend a song or if you want me to do something totally different, I almost wrote a part of a story for this issue, pm me.
- Cybermystery.
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So we stand, oblivion at our heels. A forum forgotten. Lost as the series fades. Daniel Handler hasn’t even released information on his pirate novel. So what if he wrote a book about potato pancakes? Despite my biological father’s best efforts, I’m not Jewish.
And a writer, also forgotten. What am I, Alice Wilde, doing back on 667 Dark Avenue? And what could have possibly distracted me during these months offline? It is a tale of intrigue, of drama, of sexuality, my dear members. But it is not the tale I tell today.
The tale I tell is a story...about love.
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THE ALICE WILDE GUIDE TO LOVE AND DATING
(And Threads)
So I’ve witnessed the burgeoning thread in MM. The 667ers are discussing their relationships, ranging from “i’ve never been kissed” to “i’m marrying this one dude”. And I believe this is an unholy curse from hell. What is wrong with you, 667ers? What happened to the days where you wanted to bang someone on the site?
What happened to shelling out meaningless e-sex? To long walks on a moonlit e-beach? To twenty-seven lovely, lovely women having a crush on BSam at one time? To my Natasha and her e-advice on how to woo my very own Lost Lenore?
Well, both Natasha and her advice are the subjects of this article. Some e-advice on how to woo some raven-y chick winking at you from the back of Advanced Bio.
RULE NUMBER ONE: THE FIRST RULE ABOUT FIGHT CLUB IS YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB
Do not talk to anyone about love unless you are in love with them! Do you want to avoid that awkward “oh, i’m sorry you thought i liked you but it turns out i don’t” type of relationship with your really good guy friend? Don’t talk to your friends about love unless you need their help in getting someone to love you.
Loose lips sink ships, kids. In more ways than one, but I’ll save that for Alice’s Guide to Sex and Dating.
RULE NUMBER TWO: WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED ABOUT LOVE?
The majority of the forum members are teenagers. We barely have any idea that we have a sexuality, let alone the capability of having a relationship. How can we talk of love, love, love when most of us have never had it, had it, had it.
And we don’t need it either. Love is great when it’s just the two of you in the back of some car but when you try to fall asleep at night and all you can see is their face? It sucks. Sucks like a good vacuum cleaner.
The best policy is the most paradoxical: The less you think about love, the more of it you’ll have.
It’s true, as well. I swore off love Thursday morning of this week. Two hours later, I kid you not, a guy asked me out. I said ‘no’. And then two hours after that, another guy asked me out as well. I say this not to brag, but to educate. Don’t think about love.
RULE NUMBER THREE: DON’T TAKE ADVICE FROM FORGOTTEN FORUM MEMBERS.
Anyone who claims to know something about love is only telling you what worked for them. Or what isn’t working for them. Lord knows I haven’t had the most pleasant of affairs, my dear 667ers. But who is it that I turn to when all fails? You.
In the end, it is up to you to decide what to do in the game of life and love. Some will ignore it, some deny it exists, and some will fight over it. The agnostic, the atheist, and the zealot. Can we expect someone to tell us exactly what to do? And would we follow their advice?
And, remember, whatever you do, 667, I’ll be waiting when you get back.
(For further advice on the subject of Love and Dating [And Threads], please consult the awesome movie musical Moulin Rouge. But remember that Satine dies in the end. Because I forgot. And I cried. Like a little girl.)
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Alice Wilde is the Queen of Incest Fanfiction as voted by 667 Dark Avenue Members in 2004. She is also involved in several really really bad relationships. Sorry, David. Sorry, Aaron. Amber...call me? Jennifer...you’re probably the most stable thing I have going. But you hate me.
Justin should dump you soon, though. We’ll have grand ole time without him.
- Alice.
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Shruti: Welcome! On behalf of the 667er, I offer my thanks. How are you?
tim: i am magnificent
Shruti: Glad to hear it. Okay, well let’s get down to business. There are some on 667 who have accused you of being former member “Ernist,” or of mocking him. You have denied such allegations, correct? Do you have anything you would like to say to those people?
tim: i am not ernist i am tim
Shruti: Do you know Ernist personally? I believe both of you are from Newfoundland.
tim: no i am just a fan of his work and i am from newfoundland
Shruti: Ernist professed to be a dragonologist; I believe you are a mermaidologist, correct? Can you tell us about your work?
tim: it is very interesting and more people should study it if you have any questions just ask me
Shruti: Hmm, okay. What’s the most interesting/exciting fact about mermaids that you can think of to share with our readers?
tim: if you eat mermaid meaet you are immortel but it tastes bad and its illigul
Shruti: That’s terrible! Have you ever tasted mermaid meat? I hear they’re actually in the process of developing a tofu product that exactly mimics the texture and taste of mermaid meat – do you know if it would offer the same chance at immortality?
tim: listen mister i would never eat mermaid meat so lay off the attitude and also that tofu stuff isn’t even real
Shruti: Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t intend to be offensive.
tim: that is alright just please be more careful with your attitude
Shruti: Will do. We all know that mermaids are a touchy subject in this day and age. I’m sure you heard Joe Biden in last Tuesday’s Democratic debate, where he said something along the lines of “[the] only three things [Rudy Giuliani] mentions in a sentence [are] a noun, a verb, and mermaids.” What do you think of that statement, and who do you think is the most mermaid-friendly candidate in the race at this point?
tim: ididnt hear that statement but i dont follow that election because im in newfoundland sorry
Shruti: Okay, fair enough. So what are your passions other than mermaids? How did you happen upon 667, for instance?
tim: i read the reptile room and i liked it it and found the form
Shruti: Great! Well, I really hope you’ve enjoyed your time on 667 and that you can stick around. I’ve enjoyed talking to you. Is there anything else you’d like to say to the people of Dark Avenue?
tim: well first of all thank you and please ask questions about mermaids and also i might need a new girlfriend soon so if somebody wants to be her they can
Shruti: All right, well, we’ll get the word out. You seem like an eligible bachelor! Thanks again, and on the behalf of the 667er and its affiliates, good night.
Tonight’s guest was tim, username newfoundlandtim. If you have any questions you’d like to ask him about mermaids, you can do so in this thread. For more information on tim’s personal life, see this thread. And as always, thanks for reading. This has been a production of the 667er, ©2007. Until next time, this is Shruti, signing off.
- Shruti.
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I am J’s Fat
I am J's fat. I keep her warm in the winter. My parents are grease, carbs and sugar. Most of the time, I am found in marine animals such as whales and manatees, but I am also found in J, a land mammal. Eskimos sometimes eviscerate J and use me for warmth, food, and oil. J tries to run to avoid the harpoons, but I weigh her down. I like making a difference in the world.
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Tim Speaks On Love:
tim here im going to talk to you today about the happiest thing of my life, my girlfriend. her name is dragongirl9397 and she is my favoriteperson in the world. we first started to dating when i asked her if she loves me and she said sure!it was love at first site and i still love her. except one problem is happening. sometimes she does not reply to my message and i do not know why. so even though she is my happiest hing she is also my saddest thing
[sic]