Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Jan 7, 2008 15:17:38 GMT -5
January 7-13
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Contributors: Libitina, tim, PJ, Linda.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group
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Snicket, the Apple enthusiast, occasional 667er columnist, and magician extraordinaire, was named by Tragedy this week as the new moderator of Hall of Justice. Snicket has had staff experience before; in 2005 he became one of the three Detriment Deleters, and in 2006 he was MM moderator for a short time, during which he became well-known for his tough policies against really cool member-bashing and his fearlessness in standing up to some of the most popular members of 667. He was also the organizer of the 667 Creativity Contest in late 2005 and early 2006, one of the helpers for the 667 Apprentice during 2006, and a responsible helper in the auctions that took place during 667's fourth and fifth anniversaries.
Snicket's real name is Paul, and he originally lived in Florida. His favorite colors are blue, black, and white, and his hobbies include computers, movie trivia, and magic tricks. He works for Steve Jobs and Apple, and has been relatively quiet about his personal life.
During his nearly four years at 667, Snicket has truly established himself as an integral part of the 667 community, and inspired nearly every emotion in his fellow members. In an attempt to explain this phenomenon during an interview for Edition XXXI of this paper, he said "I am a popular member. Everybody knows me. And everybody who knows me hates me. It's hard to explain." He has stormed away from 667 in a huff only to return soon after, invented the idea for Detriment Deleters, botched an awards show, had a crush on Antenora, sucked up to those in power, stood up for the underdog, given invaluable tech advice, been told off by Tragedy, been defended in glowing terms by Tragedy, been written in slash fics with Tragedy,composed music, posted pictures of his cute Asian friend, been mistaken for a five-year-old, been mistaken for a forty-year-old, been scorned, been called a geek, been called a genius, been compared to Percy Weasley, been compared to Dwight Schrute, and made his mark on all of us.
Snicket's reputation has improved immeasurably since his days as a new member. When it was announced that he would become the new moderator, the news was recieved with congratulations and well-wishes, rather than the protests that accompanied his first appointment as moderator. Which is not to say that he is loved by all. As Robert said, "He gets on my nerves, but not as much as back when he started that whole Award Show fiasco." But he has come a long way.
And, just as a treat, here's something I dug up from the archives: Snicket and the attack of the exclamation marks!!!!!
-Linda
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A fine farewell
Tim here one last tim to tell you of what is my most happiest thing that you might think is tacos but well my good sire you are sadly mistaked. Because that is not my most happiest thing now that my mom says we have to eat taco of tofu because otherwise tim you will gained wait and it is very healthy for your health mister. So then you might be wondering what in the good lords landlords earth can my most happiest thing be if it is not tacos. That is a good question to be complied at once so just sit back relax and red this article that is so hot of the press that it is bruning up on fire like something in a fire. My most happiest thing is a drum roll please. It is 667 Dark Avenue the most happiest website in the world to be sure. Even that some people take fun at some other people and some people are people that lie and say bathroom words it is okay because all in good fun. and all is well that ends well don’t you forget it. Here are some happy wonderfull memories about my life of 667 Dark Avenue newfounaldantim. Well lets see I was a monitor that was a good job if I say so myself. And there is peace because there is no war of kobolos and swans so thanks you to my article people will make letters instead of make war. And don’t even think about to forget the girlfriend contest which was a fiece compeditionl ike some kind of lion or tiger or bear oh my. and everyone is a nice foak to be counted at. I will continue to do my research on mermaids so that some day ernist will be my partner so we can write some kind of book that will have fans like harry potter except I am not a woman like jk rowling and also I have a real name that is tim not some kind of strange letters jk. This is the best website in the world so don’t get of your high horse mister and dont take any lip from someone who is not respecting your piracy. i can only say one truth thing in the world that is true that is to be a friend in need always and a friend in deed forever. you might say hold the phone one hot second tim how can this be do? and i will tell you because i am your friend in deed of all time. that you make more flies with honey than you can do it with vinegar. that means to be nice not mean like some kind of grinch person got it mister.
but it is a unfortunate event that i can not be part to this website some more times like when mr. poe can not stop coughing. I got a bad grade in my report card so my mom say tim what in the heck sort of horsing about you think you are doing it is time for doing serious business at school. But have no fear maybe sometime I can come on this wbeiste when I have my computer classes also goodbye to Helen who is my girlfriend even though she did not talk to me. also I have Messager newfoundlandtim@hotmail.com but only at my cousins house well do not forget me because I will be back even though I am not a terminator and no bus about it mister. Also I told my mom that I have a girlfriend and she said what are you thinking maybe it is a big man that will do bad thing to nice lads like you. Wow this is the longest thing I ever write but pardon is such sweet sorrow never forget this that it is what i hunk.
Also I know that some of you are wondering what the devil happened to doctor love well something very bad happened out of expection. He was in florida and now he is stuck in some srange tropical island storm so who knows maybe he will never come back but I hope he is happy and that he does not eat too much cocoacnuts.
-tim.
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My mom and 11-year-old sister got into a rather nasty car accident on Wednesday. They both managed to get away without any serious injuries, but they had some whiplash and haven't been feeling too well. And the car was totalled, which completely ruined our family's plans to visit my great-grandmother and my dorm (there are six of us and there's only room for three people in my dad's truck). Still, I'm just glad they're all right. There was a bit of a misunderstanding when I first heard about it that caused me to think my sister was hurt really badly, and I spent the next two hours brooding about it like a panicked mother hen until they arrived home and clarified things for me. It really got me thinking. Life is short; you never know when something bad will happen and everything you know will be gone. Make the most of the time you have.
-Linda
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Libitina: Hi, I'm Libby, and this week I have a marvelous tip for you. If you are walking in the hallway in school, whether it is out to the bus, from class to class, or on the way back from lunch, do not turn around when someone taps you on the shoulder.
Fantine: Or the head or the backpack.
Libitina: Their intentions are malevolent. They wish you no good.
Fantine: If Christmas carolers bring tidings of joy, these people bring you tidings of death.
Libitina: Really, though, they just want to see if you'll turn around, and then they'll laugh at you. Someone tapped me on the head yesterday for fun, but I fail to see what's fun about it.
Fantine: I felt it right through the skull.
Libitina: Alright, moving on to normal people tips. Eric Clapton. He's a fabulous fellow, a brilliant fellow.
Fantine: Not a hooligan.
Libitina: For a more practical tip, don't catch ebola.
Fantine: That is, of course, unless you enjoy blood pouring from your eyeballs and internal organ soup.
Libitina: Another tip: Spanish accents.
Fantine: Use them even if you aren't Spanish! Well, you should actually only use one, as you cannot quite have multiple Spanish accents. They are grand fun.
Libitina: If you have Guitar Hero or you play it regularly at a friend's house, do not allow yourself to become addicted. Instead, spend your time learning how to play an actual guitar.
Fantine: You could also try to learn the sitar. That would be great, and we'd love you forever!
Libtina: Now we've got one final tip.
Fantine: Yes, we're short this week, but valuable.
Libitina: Look up Duncan Hunter. He's a very smart guy, and he's running for president.
Fantine: You probably won't like him, especially if you are Leslie.
Libitina: But look him up anyway; he's wonderful. On that note, we will see you next week, after New Hampshire.
Fantine: Farewell, dearie.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SNICKET!
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Movie of the Week: No Country for Old Men
Trailer / IMDb / Rotten Tomatos Score: 95 %
If you hadn’t noticed by now, I tend to review very good movies. At least, movies that I find very good. This is no coincidence. With the exception of last week’s Brick, they’ve all been films I’ve watched recently in the cinema. The reason? Well, I like to think that I’m an excellent judge of movie trailers, so the movies I choose to watch are almost always ones I like a lot (I have been fooled once or twice, however. See Ultraviolet (the trailer looked ok, the movie was horrendous), Eragon and Rennesaince. But I’m not here to tell you how talented I am. That’s what you guys are for).
So if you check out the Rotten Tomatos score, you’ll notice that it’s by far the highest of any movie I’ve so far reviewed. I’ve just checked up the list, and there are only 13 movies of 2007 that rank higher than it (plus it’s got like 175 reviews, and less than 10 of them had anything bad to say about it). So in case you’re already getting bored, according to roughly 166 other reviewers, this movies is bloody good. So watch it.
Now for my opinion.
It’s great. It really was a fantastic movie, and I loved every bit of it. It’s directed by the Coen brothers (The Big Lebowski, Fargo), and if you haven’t heard of them you mustn’t be much of a movie enthusiast (to put it in a non-insulting way). They are great directors, simply put.
On to the plot. Llewelyn Moss is some hardworking metal welder in the southern part of the US who lives in a caravan. While hunting some wild game, he stumbles across a drug deal gone wrong – a bunch of dead Mexicans, a truck full of drugs, and a case full of 2 million dollars. He also finds one Mexican who is still alive and is begging for water. Llewelyn has none, and leaves, taking the money with him.
Later that night, after hiding his money at home, he returns with a jug of water, because he feels sorry for the man he left behind. He finds the Mexican dead and is jumped by two anonymous hitmen, who cut the tires of his car and force him to flee for his life.
And thus, the chase begins. Llewelyn stumbles home to his wife and urges her to leave for her mother’s place straight away, while he rents another car and tries to get away as fast as he can before the Mexican gangsters or the police can follow him.
The rest of the movie entails his struggles to avoid Mexican gangsters, policemen, and one bloodily simply minded assassin who is after the money as well.
Looking back at my synopsis, I realize that this movie could potentially be any sort of movie – an action flick, a drama, or even a thriller. If you’re familiar with the Coen brothers, then you should know that this isn’t a gung-ho action movie.
This movie has themes and cinematography and awesome acting skillz coming out of every pore. The only thing that wasn’t particularly great was the soundtrack. I don’t recall much about it, which means it was neither terrible nor awesome, simply average. Actually, now that I think of it, No Country… had comparatively little music in it. It helped greatly build the suspense in it, I guess.
We’ll start off with the themes. This movie has a very particular one that has in fact changed the way I see the world, the universe, and God himself. No joke, really. I’m being dead serious here.
You and I and everyone else (probably) have been conditioned. By
Always. That’s why I was shocked when I saw No Country. I’ll try not to spoil it too much, but, basically, it ends with the good guys dying and the bad guy escaping – with all the money – and absolutely no repercussions. Heck, he even returns to finish off an innocent, after everything has settled down. Which is another thing most stories have. The hero may suffer, but true innocents – women and children – never suffer something truly horrible. We’re almost conditioned to see the world this way.
But No Country is all about how there is no point, how there is no grand design, how the good guys don’t always win and how the innocent children don’t have magical plot armor around them that prevent them from getting hurt too badly. The entire story is one long winding, pointless plot. Which in another review, would be a bad thing. But this is intentional.
For example. Llewelyn Moss is running with the money, but he is being hounded by an almost priest-like assassin who kills people ideologically. He kills them if they are in the way, he kills them at the toss of a coin, he kills even when there is no point to it, when everything has settled down and the plot is resolved, for no other reason than that he has promised to do so. So this assassin is hired by the Mexicans drug gangsters, right? But he goes AWOL and decides to take the money for himself. Consequently, a bounty hunter called Carson is called in by the same Mexican drug gangsters to track down and kill this assassin.
In any normal movie, there would be some epic showdown, or at least, SOMETHING. But no. Carson the bounty hunter arrives on the scene, has a brief chat with Llewelyn, and is instantly dispatched by the assassin with ease. From a plot perspective, there is absolutely no point for bringing this bounty hunter in – he just arrives, and gets killed off within 10 minutes or so. There just isn’t any point. Which is exactly the point.
As Death so famously says in Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather:
“Then take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet you act like there was some sort of rightness in the universe by which it may be judged.”
Good stuff. It really opened my eyes, this movie did. The themes in it were incredibly powerful (it also has a bit of a morality theme, which ties in with having clean feet. Don’t ask. It just has to do with blood getting on your shoes, and the difference between the assassin and the hero). There is another large theme to the film, concerning the elderly policeman (Tommy Lee Jones) who is tracking down Llewelyn and the assassin and the trail of bodies they are leaving behind them. This is the titular “old man”. He sees all the chaos and destruction caused by the stolen two million dollars and believes that he is getting too old to keep up with the new crime and new evils of humanity. At the end of the movie, he has the revelation when speaking with his uncle that this evil is not new; it has always been there.
On to the actual cinematography. It was also great. Freakin’ great. The movie follows the paths of Llewelyn, the Assassin, and the Policeman. We see Llewelyn running, the Assassin following closely behind, and the Policeman picking up the pieces they leave behind. It was exhilarating to watch, from one side, the Assassin’s point of view as he tries to sneak up on Llewelyn (and fails). Later on, in a similar scene, we watch from Llewelyn’s point of views as he awakes in the middle of the night and hears the Assassin slowly approaching, and sees his shadow as he stands in front of Llewelyn’s door…and…
It was very suspenseful. The acting was great. Especially that of the Assassin – his conversation with a random petrol station attendant in one scene is particularly noteworthy. He makes several semi-threatening remarks to this old attendant, and then flips a coin, and asks the man to call it. They bicker back and forth for a bit, building up the tension as it becomes clear to the audience – if not the old man – that if he loses the toss he will be killed. The old man argues that he cannot call the toss unless he knows what he stands to win, upon which the Assassin replies “Everything”. The old man successfully calls the toss, and the tension instantly dissipates as the Assassin leaves after paying for his petrol, with the old man never knowing how close he came to dying.
According to my rating system, I’m giving this movie, predictably, a Great (watch this movie or die trying). I must admit, this really isn’t my type of movie. I’m more into the crazy fantasy or sci-fi or film noir or anything, really, that has an epic ending. But despite this not being in my preferred genre, I recognize that it is an immensely good film, and urge you all to watch it. I warn you, it is rather bloody (the Assassin kills at least a dozen people on screen, and a few more off), but it’s still crazy awesome. So watch it.
Coming next week, I’ll be review the drama Darjeeling Limited, another good movie. I plan on watching The Golden Compass and I am Legend in the near future, although Sixteen already reviewed the latter, so I doubt I’ll do that one, unless I really do have a lot to say.
Also, look out for There Will be Blood and The Band’s Visit, two movies that look ridiculously good, but for reasons unspecified I probably won’t watch.
Until next time, good night. Don’t forget to read my latest mini-story, An Interview with Death.
-PJ
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From Akbar:
"Please put a little note about how sorry I am and how terrible I feel. I just can't do it this week. Will explain later. Thanks."
We all love you, Akbar, and hope that things will improve in your neck of the woods. Thanks for being so responsible and awesome. (: