Post by Akbar Le Grey on Apr 13, 2008 17:07:18 GMT -5
April 13th – April 20th.
Editor-in-Chief: Akbar Le Grey.
Contributors: Libitina, tim, Shelly, Willis, Zaid, Sixteen, Pandora, LINDA the Tyrant the Tyrant.
Published by 667er Publications, ltd.
A subsidiary of the 667er Group.
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Amidst the joyfulness of nominating and voting for 667 members in the new "Darkie Awards", a sinister hater has emerged from what is no doubt a small hole in a town far from you. Naming themselves "pipepiper", this mysterious entity proceeded to post a series of hateful and abusive messages. Evidently unaware of basic grammatical rules, this poster seemed to possess the extraordinary gift of patience - enough of it to shower the entire forum with the menacing posts, all of which were directed at a harmless and well-liked member of 667 Dark Avenue - Samreen.
Through their almost illegible writing, it was discerned that the poster intended to warn the forum against Samreen, and that they had been "duped and cheated" by her. "She Always LIES of her LIFE 2 create SYMPETHY & Later EXPLOITES for Money & GIFTS." [sic] So were the words of the mysterious poster. And yet, instead of 667 swearing their allegiance to this unknown troublemaker, they rallied around Samreen, fighting back with their own bitter words.
Not to be swayed, the poster kept at it, even going so far as to say that "SHE WILL EVEN GO TO THE EXTEND OF HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH YOU FOR GIFTS & MONEY..........& EVEN PROMISE TO MARRY YOU TO EXTRACT CASH......
I CAN PROVE ALL of THIS IF TIME COMES." [sic] Let us hope the time never comes, for it will be no doubt marked by the blood of pipepiper splurted over our beloved forum, a result of another admin power surge (see below for more information).
Once again, members resisted this cruel manifestation, and supported Samreen. Seeing this, pipepiper, not realising that we all love Samreen too much to care, fought back again, with more cunning words. "I Just LOVED Ur Sprit to Defend SAMREEN...
Who So Ever U Are....& What So Ever your Feelings Towards Samreen Might Be....
I RESPECT THEM & APPERICIATE THEM too" No doubt, in the same way in which they respected and "appericiated" Hitler.
He did not seem to realise that liking Chinese food, diamonds, and gold, as well as watching movies, was normal, and these accusations he made against Samreen next. He asked us, from the bottom of his empty aortic pump, to keep her happy.
And we will, my friends. We will.
"what ever has Happened is PAST....
SHE CHEATED ME FOR DRESSES & DIOMOND JEWELLARY
just a suggession,
U be AWARE...
AT LEAST DONT GET CHEATED LIKE ME....
& ITS not just Me....there are a lot more people here in our Town who has the SAME Complaint about her".
Above are posted two of the most beautiful and moving verses of a poem ever invented; credit must be given to pipepiper. However, still intent on "informing" the forum about Samreen, he posted again, telling us that we would get "cheated and abused" by her. Yet again, we paid little attention. And yet again, he still charged onwards. Calling Samreen a "cursed beggar", he asked us to provide her with the "best shampoo", and told us all that an insurance man would call and pester Samreen every afternoon when they were together (can you guess what they were doing?). And yet, surely, that was incorrect - 2 pm is the time when all insurance men sit down to watch InsuranceScam (ITV1, if you're interested).
And finally, with an almighty leap, our great admin jumped into the scene (stumbling a bit on the landing) and ...
- Zaid.
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Love saves the day [/u]
This week, a new member named pipepiper joined the forum. A seemingly innocent name, this member meant business. As soon as they joined, they started spamming up every popular thread with posts slandering Samreen. These posts were not only untrue, but with poor grammar and random capitalizations. Fancy banned them after the first day, but they came back with a new account. Everybody tried to figure out who this doctor really was, as they continued to make confusing posts about Samreen. Hilarious and non-notorious members like Willis changed their usernames to match silly phrases this joker posted. However, pipepiper made their fatal mistake when they posted in Fancy’s appreciation thread. This caused fancy to make a sad emoticon. Tragedy then did some sort of power surge and deleted all their posts. Thank god they offended Fancy, or they might still be going today.
- Willis.
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Piping a strange tune – an evaluation
Last Monday, a new member known only as "pipepiper" began posting strange messages all over the forum. Reports from various members indicated that PMs were sent as well. These messages were posted in threads all over the board and all said the same thing: that Samreen was really a 30-year-old woman from India and that she had done all sorts of things like steal pink dresses and demand gifts and money.
The forum's response was quick and overwhelmingly united in favour of Samreen. Samreen, of course, is well-loved amongst the members of 667 and many were upset that she was being treated this way. There had also been a 667 meetup between Jemima and Samreen with photographic proof in which it was established that she really was a teenage girl from Michigan. Within a few hours, the posts had all been deleted by various moderators, the culprit had been banned, and things were back to normal. Or so we thought.
The next day, though, pipepier had returned, this time under the guise of "successisrevenge". The mystery person had posted more messages, this time painting Samreen as a person to be pitied rather than despised. She had had a difficult past life, and had not had the freedom to do what she wanted. She had hair on her lip. She loved chinese food, large beds, and "jewellary". These more sympathetic posts, while still untrue, were so hilariously full of spelling errors that they really did nothing more than get people to laugh at them and change their display names to various snippets of the post.
Who is this mysterious pipepiper, anyway? Tragedy, with his admin-given ability to check IP addresses, says it's not any of the actively-posting members; in fact, he was unable to identify even a country of origin. So we're really not sure who it is. Samreen suspects it might be a person that knows her in real life, though, and suggests that the person has at least a rudimentary knowledge of Urdu.
There was one good thing that came from pipepiper's posting, though. It brought on a surge of appreciation threads and brought 667 together in laughter and love. And that's what we do best.
- LINDA the Tyrant the Tyrant.
A 667er report by Zaid, Willis & LINDA the Tyrant the Tyrant.
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The mantle is passed on[/u]
After what seemed like ages, Antenora, the legendary member known for her serene nature, dazzling intelligence and unbiased sense of responsibility, stepped down as moderator of Disturbing Discussion, after a long, “fantastic” stint. It’s sad that this forum, a place for 667ers with an opinionated bent to discuss serious issues, has not been at its most active of late, but it seems that it is merely falling pretty to the general malaise. It is to be hoped that the surge of activity and life in MM will soon have an effect on its neighbour. Following Antenora’s resignation, BSam was inducted as the new moderator of Disturbing Discussion – a worthy choice. Meanwhile, she will be kept on in a supplementary position as moderator of BBooks, along with Dante.
Au revoir, monsieur[/u]
Renowned member and longtime moderator of (and most active poster in) the Horrible Harry Potter and Leering Lord Of The Rings sections, Jaques, tendered his resignation as mod recently, citing “other obligations”. After a long and distinguished tenure, Jaques’ calling it quits means that there is now an open staff position, and it is expected that this will be filled following discussions at the meeting in the Penthouse today [April 13th].
Movin’ on up[/u]
667 underwent a proboards update on Friday, moving on to the shiny new version 4.5. Although there were not very many changes, apart from random stuff about ‘v45’ appearing in the URL and a new colour (orange fading into black) for the top and bottom bars, the upgrade did mean that 667 was down for quite a while, prompting panic among some members. However, the sun came out the next day, and 667 was restored, putting to the rest the crazy rumours (eg Tragedy and Fancy broke up, and tragedy deleted 667 out of spite) that had spread following the suspension.
JAYSIE WINS, YET AGAIN[/u]
On April 12th, in a thread entitled "Mr. Who needs help with a senior prank.", everyone’s favourite member, J., became even cooler, by making the forum’s 667,000th post. Jubilation, mirth and happiness ensued, with faith in 667 being restored and people congratulating J.
The landmark.
Of course, Triangle Eyes then promptly arrived to ruin the fun and be anal, by announcing that, well, really, it was the 668,825th post. Way to go. Woohoo. *snore* Luckily, BSam soon made an excellent statement – “taking into account many deleted posts i beleive J's is close enough to the 667000 mark to claim the victory nonetheless.” And with that, it was settled, and 667 was happy again.
New story takes 667 by storm[/u]
The genre of the 667fic is back with a bang, and the latest project, initiated by BSam, has become wildly popular. Check BSam Dies At The End out here.
iJacob=Jack Tripper[/u]
‘nuff said. [on his “5th chance”, according to Tragedy.]
- Akbar Le Grey.
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Tim here and since you are in a lemony snicket website I know that a series of unfortunae events is one of your happiest thing so you know about the bad happen with the council of olders will not let the baudelaires read any book or do things that they happy. Well my mom does not let me webkin anymore because she says I am getting to obsessed that it is all I think about do it. That is why I am grounded from playing with balto my dear friend in deed. Even that I am sad it is okay because I have something that is my happiest thing to telling you of! It is a saycred artful called caligriphy it means writing fancy. We are doing it in art class and I am do it great! I write with a snazzy pen like pikachu olaf has in the movie when he is writing to marry violet. I showed my teacher my caligriphy and she said tim this is very interesting keep trying. I showed my mom my calligraphy she says tim this is beautiful work to be sure of I am so proud to you! I showed my dad to my calipgrahy he laughed so hard and I said dad what is to funny and he said tim this is so good that I am laughed. Maybe I will be a caligriphman when I grow up to make beautiful writings for all to see. Well I am going to practice because practice makes perfect and dont you forget it!
- TIM
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Libitina and Fantine's Tip on Life, the Internets, and Other Illusions
Libitina: Hullo, I'm Libitina, and I am very, very happy that 667 is alive.
Fantine: My plot failed.
Libitina: Wait a second, what? You did this?
Fantine: Nah, I'm just messing with you.
Libitina: Original, Frenchie. I've got a good tip this week! There is a new Potter Puppet Pals video out.
Fantine: It's short, but it's amusing. And that Neil is so attractive.
Libitina: Now, back to reality, where brains do not date men. Tip: The weather! If you are like me and live somewhere in New England, you know that the weather has been fairly lovely this week. I actually went to school without a jacket on Friday! So, nice weather makes one happy. Take advantage of it.
Fantine: If you do not live in New England, we can't help you there, so this tip was more or less useless for you. Libitina is a racist.
Libitina: Says the brain who detests her own dead French baker. Next tip: Jason Castro. He's incredible.
Fantine: Mmhm, he's creative and passionate and likely on drugs.
Libitina: Therefore, we love him! Next tip: Ukuleles.
Fantine: I believe you have brought this one up before.
Libitina: Probably, but they are really quite grand and fun to play. Tip: 21.
Fantine: *sigh* Numbers are not advice, Libitina.
Libitina: No, the movie. It's a great movie, and there are tons of Asian people.
Fantine: Oh, then I'm in!
Libitina: In the movie, they also talk about this probability problem with cars and goats. This same question is on a quiz called the Impossible Quiz--
Fantine: Not that crazy one.
Libitina: --and it's really cool. Personally, I would have wanted a goat instead of a car, which alters the problem.
Fantine: That's because you're a freak.
Libitina: Unfortunately, we have no more tips because I have a headache.
Fantine: I wonder whose fault that is.
Libitina: Make sure you participate in the awards and everything. Good day, 667!
- Libitina.
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Top 10 Ways To Win A Darkie
1. Post in every section. Instant recognition, widespread interest.
2. Write articles when you're supposed to, instead of ten minutes before the deadline.
3. Share your opinions on mod matters.
4. Participate in groupfics like BSam Dies At The End.
5. Go to Penthouse meetings.
6. Hone your artistry skills.
7. Create epicness in every thread you post in.
8. Sway the votes by using multiple accounts.
9. Become a moderator and utterly own all noobs.
10. Date the admin. It's a tried and tested method.
-Sixteen.
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Pandora and Willis' Reality Show Column[/u]
Last week Willis talked about why the Gauntlet III ended fairly. Tune in right now to see why Willis is wrong. The Gauntlet III was probably the least exciting ending to anything ever. At the beginning of the challenge TJ told the teams that everyone had to cross the finish line and I thought oh great the fat guy probably isn’t going to make it since they’re emphasizing this so much. And the fat guy didn’t make it. They took away all elements of surprise first of all and second of all they should have seen this coming. I don’t get how the veterans could have possibly stayed in the competition. What if he died? The Gauntlet has some strict rules but I’m pretty the law is even stricter and I figure people would sue if a guy died on a reality show because the team dragged him to win thirty thousand dollars. And also theres no way they could have carried him or dragged him and still made it. He was flailing around and they only would have made him worse. I kind of wish they had kept going and then Eric had almost died because that would have been exciting and I’m pretty sure the reality show people who thought of the stupid rule would have learned a lesson.
Reason Three: That guy with the glasses, Frank, is such a tool bag. He gave up and started bashing his team. All the rookies played poorly and the veterans gave it their all. They played better so they should have won even if stupid Eric passed out. Even CT who Willis thinks is a tool stepped up to try and help Eric. The veterans have made some stupid moves during the season and some of them suck but they still deserved to win.
Tune in next week when we maybe discuss the hills.
- Pandora.
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ASOQE #229, "Inseperable" by Jonas Brothers. Not sure which way to spell it.
* * *
Violet laughed, feeling on top of the world.
Take my hand tonight
We can run so far
We could change the world
Do anything we want
She adjusted the straps on her roller-blades and zipped up to Quigley, who was waiting patiently on his own blades.
We could stop for hours
Just staring at the stars
They shine down to show us
He held out his gloved and protected hand, and she took it, holding on as best she could.
You know when the sun forgets to shine
I’ll be there to hold you through the night
We’ll be running so fast we could fly tonight
They then started to furiously glide down the path, catching each other's eye and smiling.
Even when were miles and miles apart
You’re still holding all of my heart
I promise it will never be dark
I know, were inseparable
They stopped at the boardwalk and got some ice cream, and sat on the pier to eat them, taking off their gear.
We could run forever
If you wanted to
I would not get tired
Because I'd be with you
Quigley could never just lick ice cream. Chomp chomp, and his cone was gone.
I'd keep singing this song
Until the very end
And we'd have done all these things
She bit her lip to force back her new laughter, and said, "Want some of mine?"
I will give it all
Never let you fall
But you know, we're inseparable
Quigley took a big bite, and she put an arm around him in a kind of hug.
He put both his arms around her, and she dropped her cone.
I would give it up
Just to show you I'm in love
Cause you know
We're inseparable
"You owe me a cone." Violet joked.
- Shelly.
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Hi all.
The awards are happening, and they’re fantastic and fun and awesome, and you should post and participate and be happy.
I’m really sorry that Jemmy and I couldn’t get around to doing the DH meeting thing, but we’ll hopefully have it up by this week.
Samreen’s stalker was horrid, and I’m glad Trag resolved the issue.
I’m sleepy, so I must apologize for my lack of eloquence.
That will be all.
Peace out,
Akbar.
PS: LINDA the Tyrant the Tyrant rawks. Sorry for my outburst earlier.
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