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Post by Hermes on Sept 3, 2010 11:26:37 GMT -5
Hmm...'You-know-who' appears to be a reference to Harry Potter. Ah, not really. It's from TUA - Arthur's letter to Eleanora has a postscript saying 'Have you heard from You-Know-Who?' This chapter seeks to explain this. Thank you! Thanks. Yes, he was in chapter 1. He was in chapter 1. It's canon! I was hoping to get a physical description of Geraldine from her appearances in the later books; I didn't really find one, but I did get that she wore a grey suit and chewed gum. (Whether she would do so in the editor's office is another question, but I'm inclined to think she would.)
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Sept 3, 2010 13:23:05 GMT -5
It's canon! I was hoping to get a physical description of Geraldine from her appearances in the later books; I didn't really find one, but I did get that she wore a grey suit and chewed gum. (Whether she would do so in the editor's office is another question, but I'm inclined to think she would.) Oh! I had no idea that Geraldine's gum-chewing was actually canon (much time has passed since I've read the books, so I'm sure that's why). As for her description, I always go by the one May wrote for her in our A Tale of Three Friends RPG (short and chubby with mouse brown hair and glasses). As for whether or not Geraldine would chew gum in the editor's office or any other place of business I, too, have no doubt she would. If she is indeed a member of V.F.D., I can imagine her being continuously told to spit out her gum during her days at Training School.
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Post by Christmas Chief on Sept 4, 2010 6:59:54 GMT -5
(Whether she would do so in the editor's office is another question, but I'm inclined to think she would.) Is she not allowed to do so, then?
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Post by Hermes on Sept 5, 2010 12:22:08 GMT -5
Not not allowed as such, but it's rather disrespectful.
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Post by Hermes on Jul 29, 2011 16:19:20 GMT -5
At last the slowest fanfic in the world has an update! The next chapter, which features several characters whose names begin with S, should be a bit quicker.
Some of the ideas in this chapter, and one line in particular, were inspired by Very Funky Disco.
Apologies to Tiago for - to avoid spoilers - doing something a bit like something he is doing. I'm afraid I planned this some time ago.
6. The Lamentable Liftshaft.
‘And another cake I stole’ said Count Olaf (or Gunther, as he was currently calling himself) ‘was a wedding cake. It had three tiers, all covered in white icing, and on the top it said “Lemony and Beatrice – Love Conquers Nearly Everything.” But it didn’t conquer me! Oh no! I threatened to set fire to them if the marriage went ahead, so it was cancelled at the last moment! Then I went to the wedding venue – it was the Vineyard of Fragrant, er, Grapes – and climbed in through the kitchen window, and took the cake while the chef wasn’t looking. Don’t you think that was a clever plan?’
The Quagmires were sitting in a cage at the bottom of a deep elevator shaft. Only a small oil lamp illuminated the space they were in, as Gunther sat before them boasting of his crimes.
‘You went to all that trouble just to steal a cake?’ asked Isadora, incredulously.
‘No, of course not!’ said Gunther. ‘I did it for revenge! Mr Snicket had persuaded my fiancée to leave me. And then Miss Baudelaire had stolen a sugar bowl from my girlf-, um, from a good friend of mine. And then Mr Snicket had written a very insulting review of one of my most successful plays. They clearly deserved to die! But one should always take advantage of situations. That’s a good principle to live by. For instance, if you burn a house down but there turns out to be no one in it, you can use the embers for a barbecue.’
There was a question Duncan had been meaning to ask Gunther for some time. This mention of burning houses brought it back to his mind, and he finally plucked up his courage and spoke.
‘Gunther’, he said ‘did you set fire to our house? Did you kill our parents and our brother?’
‘No,’ Gunther replied. ‘That wasn’t me. It was a quite different villain. I didn’t even know about it until quite a while afterwards. Do you think that if I had done it I would have left it until now to kidnap you?’
Duncan and Isadora glanced at each other, uncertain whether the villain was telling the truth. Then Isadora spoke.
‘What about the Baudelaires’ house? Did you kill their parents?’
‘Well, no,’ said Gunther, though now he sounded a bit embarrassed. ‘Not exactly. I didn’t actually set fire to the house myself. I would have liked to – it would have been revenge for the death of my parents. Don’t suppose those Baudelaires were totally innocent! They call themselves the good side of V.F.D., you know, but that doesn’t mean they always act in a noble way. But actually it was our leaders who started that fire. The Baudelaires had just made some important discoveries which would have put the whole villainous side of V.F.D. in danger, so they had to act.’
‘When you say your leaders, do you mean the man with the beard-’
Gunther shivered slightly. ‘I’d rather not talk about them more than is necessary. So anyway, I didn’t set the fire myself. But I helped – I showed them a secret way into the basement of the Baudelaire mansion. As a reward, they said I could keep the fortune, if I managed to get my hands on it.’
‘So,’ said Duncan cautiously ‘you’ve told us a lot about how to burn houses down, but-’
‘Oh,’ Gunther replied, with a hint of annoyance, ‘are you thinking I never burn any houses down myself? That’s not true at all. Only a few months ago I burnt down Professor Stephenson’s house.’
‘Really? I’ve heard of her,’ said Duncan. ‘she was an inventor, wasn’t she? She invented a thousand-year clock. And she had an idea for a rocket-powered train.’
‘That’s right. She was also one of those annoying volunteers, though, and she invented a lot of devices to stop burglary and arson. But they didn’t save her! She was rather absent-minded, you see. She had a device set up so that when her house caught fire, brazen bells rang in all the rooms, but she was so intent on her work she didn’t notice them.’
‘I read in the newspaper that she burnt her own house down, trying to make a steam-powered computer.’
‘That’s what I wanted everyone to think. She did have a plan for a steam-powered computer, and it was a perfect cover for my plot. But that’s not what really happened. Actually, I managed to kill two birds with one stone – those bratty Baudelaire orphans were living with me at the time, and I got them to chop lots of logs of wood into smaller pieces. That was good discipline for them. Then my associates stacked the wood under Professor Stephenson’s house, to make it burn quicker. And what’s more, she had three orphans living with her! They were her grandchildren – their parents were killed by a volcano a couple of years ago. One of those orphans was killed in the fire as well! So really, you might say I killed three birds with one stone – a pigeon, a crow, and a bat, so to speak.’
‘A bat isn’t a bird,’ said Isadora, ‘it’s a mammal’.
‘Bird, mammal. It’s all the same. Next thing you’ll be telling me a shark is a fish.’
‘Actually-’ said Duncan, but Isadora squeezed his hand, signalling to him to let Gunther continue the story of his crimes.
‘And what happened to the other two orphans?’ she asked.
‘They were sent to Prufrock Prep. They’re probably living now in that nice little shack the Baudelaires used to have. Once I’ve got you safely on my island, I plan to go back there and kidnap them. Then I may get their fortune as well.’
‘Er, Gunther,’ said Duncan, ‘have you ever actually stolen any fortunes? I mean, I know you are planning to get ours, and the Baudelaires’, and you told us how you once plotted to get the Snicket fortune. But you haven’t mentioned any you actually got.’
‘Well, no,’ said Gunther, rather sheepishly. ‘I inherited my house. And I make quite a lot of money from my acting, and from occasional bank robberies and so on. And a close associate of mine is quite a successful financial adviser.’
‘We know,’ muttered Isadora ‘she was our financial adviser once’.
‘There you are, then. So I get by. But no actual fortunes yet, no. But I will! Just you wait and see! It’s only five years till you come of age, you know, and then I can use you to get the sapphires. Unless you’d like to marry me, Isadora. Then I could get them even earlier.’
‘No, thank you,’ Isadora replied. It was not the first time he had asked.
‘Ah, well. Think about it – it could be to our mutual advantage. I’m afraid I must go now – I have an appointment at the Veblen hall.’ He put in his monocle, and resumed his distinctive way of speaking. ‘I will be seeing of you, please, in a just few hours from now.’ He put out his oil lamp, and disappeared into the darkness.
For a few moments, the Quagmires could see nothing; then their eyes gradually adjusted to the dark. They took out their notebooks and began scribbling. Writing in the dark was a skill they had become very proficient at over the past few weeks.
‘He hasn’t read the Evil Overlord’s Handbook, has he?’ said Duncan. ‘He should know it’s not a good idea to explain your dastardly plot to your victims before you carry it out. If we ever get out of here, look at all the evidence we’ll have against him!’
‘Do you think we ever will get out?’ said Isadora.
‘I think we might. There must be lots of people looking for us – the Baudelaires, and our guardian, and the librarian, and all the good side of V.F.D.’
‘But wouldn’t they have found us by now, if they were going to?’
‘That’s hard to say. I read once about some people who were discovered after being kept prisoner for forty-three years.’
‘But I don’t want to stay a prisoner for forty-three years.’
‘Well, don’t forget Gunther will have to take us out of here for the auction, so it won’t be quite that long. If people are keeping an eye on him – and they probably are – that’s a moment when they are quite likely to find us.’
Isadora thought for a moment. ‘Do you think he was telling the truth when he said he didn’t burn our house down?’
‘I think he probably was. I guess he would have boasted of it if he had. And it’s true what he said – if he had done it, he would have tried to kidnap us earlier. After all, he’s been trying to get hold of the Baudelaires for months.’
‘What he said about the Baudelaires’ parents was rather disturbing. It sounds as if they killed his parents. Do you think that can be true?’
‘I’m not sure. But it might be. It looks as if some volunteers have done ruthless things in a noble cause. There must have been a good reason for it.’
Isadora looked uncertain. ‘I’m wondering if we were right to become volunteers. I know the cause is a noble one, but is it possible to follow it and still be a noble person?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Duncan, ‘but I think just letting the villains win would be worse’.
Isadora shivered. Duncan put his arm round her to comfort her.
‘The most important thing now is to get out of here. And we need to warn those other poor orphans, and to help the Baudelaires escape whatever plot Gunther’s cooking up now. That’s why we became volunteers – because our friends needed our help.’
‘That’s true,’ said Isadora. ‘Let me try and put it into verse.
‘When we have gained our liberty To help our friends our aim must be.’
Suddenly, far above them, there was a tiny glint of light, and then a noise of something descending through the darkness. They looked up in puzzlement. Could this be the long-awaited rescue, or was it some new act of villainy? After a few minutes something struck the side of their cage. They looked at it intently; it was an electrical extension cord. They stared at one another, uncertain what this could mean.
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Post by Christmas Chief on Jul 30, 2011 9:45:41 GMT -5
Glad to see more of this! First of all, the setting is perfect - the Quagmires and Olaf having a casual conversation at the bottom of an elevator shaft has something Snickety about it. This chapter also provides explanation for the more elusive parts of ASOUE; the detail about the chopped wood was particularly striking. There was something about it in the BB:RE, yes?
Also, I really like this line:
So the next chapter will have a number of S characters. We know one of them, of course, but I wonder ...
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Jul 30, 2011 12:44:56 GMT -5
Just as Jerome Squalor and Justice Strauss reappeared in the lives of the Baudelaire orphans in The Penultimate Peril, the time has come for The Good Guardian to make its return to Fearsome Fiction. I always sort of wondered what the Quagmires and Olaf - and Esme, too, I assumed, but I guess it all depends on the reader's POV - discussed within the secret confines of the elevator shaft. I thought at first it was just me, who found Olaf's open confessions of his crimes unusual, before Duncan began talking about 'The Evil Overlord's Handbook'. (Excellent title, BTW. Is it an allusion to anything in particular?) I liked the mention of the two surviving orphans, as well. I had thought they were two other characters, before I went to comment and realized who they actually are. Then again, I suppose there's a small chance that the four might actually be two... *laughs* I can hardly say this surprises me; I'm willing to bet that he attempted to win her over at least once off-screen during the canon. Creepy, creepy Olaf. I'm curious, too, to see which S characters will be showing up in the next chapter. A very excellent and insightful chapter, Hermes; I'm looking forward to the next, whenever you want to update.
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Post by Hermes on Jul 30, 2011 13:37:50 GMT -5
Thank you, Sherry Ann and Emma! The lines you picked up on are among my favourites, though I say it myself. 'Evil Overlord's Handbook' is a reference to this: www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.htmlYes, the chopped wood is in BBRE. I suspect Handler was actually thinking, when he wrote the passage, that the logs were used to burn down the Quagmire house; but that doesn't fit the chronology I'm following, so I used them on another pair of orphans instead. I'm interested, Emma, in your speculations about the orphans - and Sherry Ann, you think you know who one of the S characters is, do you? We will wait and see.
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Post by Christmas Chief on Jul 30, 2011 16:15:11 GMT -5
and Sherry Ann, you think you know who one of the S characters is, do you? We will wait and see. Well, presumably we know the electrical-extension-cord rescuers, the youngest of whom has a name beginning with an S. Although I admit I might have taken it for granted that they'll be in the next chapter, since we're already familiar with the scene that follows.
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Post by Hermes on Jul 31, 2011 14:00:00 GMT -5
and Sherry Ann, you think you know who one of the S characters is, do you? We will wait and see. Well, presumably we know the electrical-extension-cord rescuers, the youngest of whom has a name beginning with an S. Although I admit I might have taken it for granted that they'll be in the next chapter, since we're already familiar with the scene that follows. Nice thought, but no. I don't think we'll ever actually see the Baudelaires in this fic, as any scene involving them would already be in canon. I may as well say now that from now on, chapters following the Quagmires will alternate with chapters telling us what is happening in the wider world.
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Post by Hermes on Aug 29, 2011 8:04:29 GMT -5
I am grateful to Dante for an idea used in this chapter.
Another idea used (more obliquely) in this chapter, on the other hand, is one that Dante and I came up with independently.
Chapter 7. The Reckless Recruitment.
‘Oh dear,’ said Benedict Stephenson ‘look who’s coming this way.’
His sister Scholastica looked up to see a rude, violent and filthy girl walking towards them across the cafeteria of Prufrock Preparatory School. She hoped the girl might be looking for someone else, but it was not to be; she halted right in front of them.
‘Hello, cakesniffers,’ she said.
‘Hello, Carmelita.’ Scholastica replied. ‘What can we do for you?’
‘I have a special message from Vice-Principal Nero,’ said Carmelita. ‘You are to report to his office immediately. Immediately means right now, just in case you don’t know that.’
‘Thank you, Carmelita,’ said Benedict wearily. ‘We do know, as a matter of fact. We’ll go straight away.’
‘Wait a moment,’ said Carmelita as they got up to leave. ‘It’s traditional –‘
They left the cafeteria rather quickly, before Carmelita could ask them for a tip, and crossed the front lawn to the Administration building. Ascending to the ninth floor, they knocked on the door of Vice-Principal Nero’s office, and were admitted by his new administrative assistant, Mr Salmon. He was tall and had a sharply pointed nose; there was a pattern of salmon swimming upstream on his tie. They found the vice-principal sitting behind his desk; next to him was a woman in a grey suit, chewing gum.
‘Ah, hello, triplets,’ said the vice-principal. ‘Do sit down.’ There were no vacant chairs, so they sat on the floor. ‘This is Ms Julienne from the Daily Punctilio. Ms Julienne, these are the Stephenson triplets.’
‘Actually,’ said Scholastica ‘we’re twins, not triplets’.
‘Actually we’re twins, not triplets,’ Nero repeated. ‘Are you sure?. I thought there was another one of you.’
‘We did have a brother,’ Benedict replied ‘but he wasn’t a triplet – he was two years younger than us. And he died in the same fire that killed our grandmother. Or at least we think he did.’
‘Oh dear,’ said Ms Julienne ‘that sounds very distressing. But I want to hear your whole story.’
The twins looked doubtfully at one another. Nobody had shown any interest in their story until now – why was this person suddenly doing so? At last Scholastica began. ‘Well, I suppose our story really begins about three years ago, when our parents died. They were explorers, and they were killed by a volcano’.
‘So then we went to live with our uncle Donald,’ Benedict took up the tale ‘but he was eaten by a hippopotamus.’
‘So after that we lived with our grandmother for a while,’ Scholastica went on ‘but then her house was burnt down while she was trying to build a stream-powered computer. We were told our brother Jeremy died in the fire as well.’
‘After that,’ Benedict continued ‘Ms Caudwell – our lawyer – couldn’t find anyone else to be our guardian, so we lived with her for a while, and then she decided to send us to Prufrock Prep. But we were just about to set out for here when we got a secret message hidden in a cake, saying that Jeremy was still alive. It told us to contact a famous film director who had just finished making a film about zombies.’
‘So,’ Scholastica said ‘we ran away, and went to the mountain where the film had been shot. But when we got there the film crew had gone. We looked around the neighbourhood for several days, but we saw no sign of our brother.’
‘And then,’ said Benedict ‘we were kidnapped by a gang of horse-thieves, who made us work in a glue-factory.’
‘But finally,’ Scholastica concluded ‘we managed to escape and get to Prufrock Prep after all. And here we are.’
‘Well, that’s quite fascinating,’ said Ms Julienne. ‘Now, what can you tell me about the Quagmire orphans?’
‘The Quagmire orphans?’ said Benedict, puzzled. ‘We don’t know them. I think they’d already left here before we arrived.’
‘Oh! Well then, why did you tell me all that, if it has nothing to do with the Quagmires?’
‘We didn’t know you wanted to know about the Quagmires,’ said Scholastica, reasonably. ‘You just asked us to tell you our story.’
‘You just asked us to tell you our story,’ said Vice-Principal Nero, mockingly. ‘You didn’t think Ms Julienne would be interested in you for your own sake, did you? Now, come on, you live in the same little hut that the Quagmires used to live in. Surely you must know something about them.’
Scholastica wondered why simply living in the same room where someone else had once lived should mean you knew about them. ‘I don’t think so,’ she said. ‘Oh – unless they were the ones who decorated the wall. It’s painted green, and covered with little hearts.’
‘Oh no,’ said Nero, ‘I know who did that. It happened when I first came here – it must have been more then twenty years ago. I started out as music teacher. But for some reason, within a few weeks I was promoted to vice-principal! Anyway, there were two boys living in the orphans’, er, hut then They weren’t brothers – they just happened to have been orphaned at the same time. One was called Shg – Dvz – Blth – his name was rather hard to pronounce. And the other was called Charles. They were the ones who decorated the hut.’
‘Anyway,’ said Ms Julienne ‘you’ve never met the Quagmires?’
‘No,’ Benedict replied ‘I’m afraid not’.
‘Come to think of it, I heard that the Quagmires had been seen on a mountain, and later in a glue factory. You didn’t notice them while you were there?’
‘No,’ said Scholastica ‘ we didn’t see any other orphans there.’
‘Oh well. Actually, come to think of it, your story is quite exciting. Perhaps I’ll write about you instead of the Quagmires. TRIPLETS FORCED TO WORK IN GLUE FACTORY. Wait till the readers of the Daily Punctilio see that!’
‘Actually-’ said Scholastica.
‘Anyway,’ Vice-Principal Nero interrupted, ‘you’d better be getting back to class. I’m sure you’re very excited that Ms Julienne is going to write your story. As you know, you will not be allowed to have silverware at dinner this evening, because you have been in the Administration Building. In addition, as a punishment for sitting on the floor, you will have to stand on your heads during class this afternoon.’
‘But that’s not fair!’ Benedict exclaimed. ‘You told –‘
‘Run along now, triplets’ said the vice-principal ‘or you’ll be late for class.’
After a moment’s thought the twins realised that this made sense – they did not want their arms tied behind their backs at dinner, in addition to the other punishments – so they left the room and made their way despondently down the stairs. As they emerged onto the front lawn, they met a smartly dressed woman with grey hair entering the building.
‘Excuse me,’ she said ‘do you know where I might find the Baudelaire orphans?’
‘I’m afraid not,’ Benedict replied. ‘I think the Baudelaires left here a while ago.’
‘Oh dear!’ said the visitor. ‘Wherever I look for them, I always find they have left. And it seems something terrible happens to them in every place. So you don’t know where they’ve gone?’
‘Sorry, no,’ said Scholastica. ‘Perhaps Vice-Principal Nero will be able to help you. His office is on the ninth floor of this building.’
‘That’s a good plan,’ said the woman. ‘thank you very much.’ She disappeared into the building; the twins walked sadly towards the classrooms.
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In another part of the Prufrock Prep campus, the librarian looked up to see a familiar figure approaching his desk; a woman of about forty, her hair done up in a bun and fastened with two pencils. She wore white gloves; her belly showed a slight but definite curve.
‘Ms Snicket!’ said the librarian. ‘How delightful to see you after all these years! I hope – ’
‘Shhh!’ said the woman. ‘I’m not called that here – I’m Ms K. The students think of it as my surname – Kay. I’m working under cover. Perhaps we should go into your office.’
They entered the office, and took their seats. ‘D sends his love,’ Ms K continued. ‘He has fond memories of you from his time here. He says the library was one of the few pleasant places in the school.’
‘Remember me to him when you see him again,’ the librarian replied. ‘And I believe you’re expecting a happy event. Congratulations!’
‘Yes,’ she said ‘it’s due in just a couple of months now. It’s not showing as much as it might.’
‘Now,’ said the librarian ‘here’s something you might be interested to see. It arrived just this morning.’ He produced a freshly printed book, whose cover proclaimed it as The Reptile Room, by Lemony Snicket.
‘Oh, thank heaven!’ exclaimed Ms K. ‘He’s alive, then! It’s so difficult not knowing. Of course, once your brother’s death has been announced a few times, you stop assuming every report of it is true. But I can’t help worrying each time that this might be the real one. You don’t know where he is?’
‘I’m afraid not. I think he communicates with his publisher only through D. Not your fiancé D – your cousin D, or whatever he is exactly. So L manages to stay in hiding. Of course, if he’s researching the Baudelaires, he’ll have to come here sooner or later.’
‘Oh, I hadn’t thought of that! But I’m afraid I’ll probably have finished my work her by then. Let me know if you see him.’
‘I will.’
‘Anyway,’ said Ms K ‘what I really came here for was to show you the reading list I’ll be giving my students. You can add L’s new book to it, actually – the first in the series is already on it.’
The librarian looked carefully at the list. ‘Good heavens! There are a lot of provocative books here – books by volunteers, or stories of their lives. And Ivan Lachrymose, Lake Explorer – what are you planning to hide between the pages?’
‘I’ll tell you in a moment. You see, I came here for two reasons – to investigate the Quagmires’ disappearance, and to stop anything like it happening again. What happened to them is really disturbing. It shows how ruthless Count Olaf is. D felt he had failed in his duty as a guardian. We think it means we must do more to combat villainy. Over the last few years we’ve been too cautious – not ready enough to intervene when people are in danger. Of course, sometimes intervening can have disastrous consequences, but now I think we’re going too far the other way. And we’re too concerned to shelter our children from the treachery of the world. Hardly anyone is recruited as a child any more.’
‘Do you think we can change that?’
‘Well, of course it’s natural for parents to want to protect their children. But we’re all in constant danger of death, and if children are orphaned, it’s better that they should have been prepared. I was orphaned when I was young, and D even younger, but we had a community of volunteers to turn to for support. Recently we’ve had three big fires, and three sets of orphans wandering through the world without protection – the Quagmires, the Baudelaires, and now the Stephensons.’
‘Is there anything we can do for the Baudelaires?’ asked the librarian.
‘Not really. We can’t take them from their legal guardians. All we can do is keep an eye on them to make sure nothing worse happens to them. But we must find the Quagmires, and rescue them.’
‘And the Stephensons?’
‘I’m going to recruit them.’
‘Recruit them!’ the librarian exclaimed. ‘Surely you can’t do that without their guardians’ permission?’
‘But the Stephensons have no guardians. They’ll be safer with us than they would be on their own here. And they have good skills that they can use as volunteers. Benedict is a calligrapher, and Scholastica is a bibliopegist, a word which here means ‘bookbinder’; they’ll both be very useful making and preserving records. I mean to use these books to stimulate their interest. I hope you’ll be able to give them any information they need. When the time is ripe I will slip this between pages 302 and 303 of Ivan Lachrymose.’ She produced from her pocket a leaflet headed Infrequently Asked Questions about V.F.D. ‘And when I leave here, I hope they will come with me.’
‘It sounds a dangerous plan,’ said the librarian, ‘but if you think it will work, I’ll support you.’
‘You did something similar yourself with the Quagmires..’
‘Well, I didn’t really recruit them; they recruited themselves, by volunteering to help their friends. But yes, I told them something about the organisation. They had found out a lot by themselves, so I thought it was all right to fill in the gaps.’
‘You were right. Their parents had wanted to protect them from the treachery of the world, and D and I were trying to respect their wishes. But now I think we were wrong. If only we had acted earlier, they might have been better able to protect themselves, and the Baudelaires as well.’
‘Wait a moment,’ said the librarian, and walking towards the door, he opened it sharply. Mr Salmon, the vice-principal’s new administrative assistant, fell into the room; he had been crouched by the door, with his ear suspiciously near the keyhole.
‘Can I help you?’ asked the librarian.
‘Oh – um – Vice-Principal Nero sent me to ask if you had any books about, er, Stradivarius. Yes, definitely Stradivarius.’
‘They’ll be in the music section. The third bay on the right.’
‘Oh, thank you,’ said Mr Salmon, and set off in that direction. The librarian closed the door firmly.
‘Villainy is everywhere,’ he said, returning to his seat. ‘We must keep an eye on him. Now, you were just explaining your plan.’
‘Well,’ said Ms K, ‘I want to reach out to all the students, not just the Stephensons – to make them more aware of the danger of villainy, and of what they can do to combat it. And then, in the long run, that may inspire them to become volunteers as well. We can cautiously distribute these leaflets to children who seem to be showing the right attitude. If they’re enthusiastic enough, we may be able to persuade their parents to let them go ’
‘That sounds a good idea. I don’t know how many we’ll get, but we can do our best.’
‘I’m hoping we can find adults of good will, too – there’s no reason you can’t become a volunteer just because you weren’t recruited as a child. Some great volunteers in the past joined very late in life. And there are a lot of old volunteers who haven’t been active for a long time, but still support our ideals – I’ve been contacting some of them to encourage them to get involved again. Thursday Caliban, Stephin Merritt, Charles Love and so on. I was hoping to find Weyden Anwhistle, but she seems to have disappeared. If you know anyone else who could help – old students from here, perhaps – let me know.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
‘V.F.D. is a shadow of what it was. That’s because of all the schisms, but it’s also because we aren’t determined enough. What happened to the Quagmires has disturbed me – they’re my family now that D is their guardian. And it makes me worried about what might happen to my own child. We need to make the organisation great again, ready to protect people.’
She rose. ‘I have to get to class. Remember what I said.’
‘Good luck!’ said the librarian.
As Ms K went down the stairs, she passed a smartly dressed woman with grey hair, going up.
‘Excuse me,’ said the newcomer ‘is this the way to the library?’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘Oh good. I’m hoping to find out about the Baudelaire orphans. You don’t know them, I suppose?’
‘Not personally, I’m afraid – they left before I arrived.’
‘Oh dear. Wherever I look for them they seem to have gone. I asked the vice-principal about them, and he said he didn’t know their new address, but the librarian might have it.’
‘Yes, he should. He’ll be able to tell you something about what happened to them here, as well.’
‘Distressing things seem to happen to them everywhere,’ said the older woman. ‘I only wish I could do something to help them, but I can never catch up with them.’
‘I didn’t realise this was a sad occasion,’ said Ms K.
‘What?’
‘Oh – I just meant that their life does seem to be very sad. But I’m glad you’re trying to help them. I wish you well.’
As the older woman went on up the stairs, Ms K stood in thought, wondering who she could be. Not a volunteer, clearly, as she had not recognised the code, but certainly a person of good will. If there were such people in the world, perhaps there was hope after all
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Post by Dante on Aug 29, 2011 11:10:35 GMT -5
Excellent chapter, Hermes, and it's really good to read something of this again. It reminds me a little of some of the fics I would write, or the kind I would want to write, certainly; I like it when loose ends that are left hanging in the canon are connected in interesting ways, although there's certainly more to it than that in this fic - there's a message, too, about what ASoUE is really about. It's also the sort of story which, like the best of the canon, requires dozens of footnotes to understand all the references. Actually, I might have to read the preceding chapter as well; I haven't commented on it and don't remember it at all.
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Post by Hermes on Aug 29, 2011 12:36:41 GMT -5
Excellent chapter, Hermes, and it's really good to read something of this again. It reminds me a little of some of the fics I would write, or the kind I would want to write, certainly; I like it when loose ends that are left hanging in the canon are connected in interesting ways, although there's certainly more to it than that in this fic - there's a message, too, about what ASoUE is really about. Thanks, Dante, I really appreciate this. Yes, I wanted to tie threads together, but also to say something about the theme of secrecy and openness, protection and exposure, which become important in The End. I was rather hoping you would write some of the footnotes, actually. I will add some soon, in the 'Who are your characters called after?' thread, but wanted you and other readers to have the fun of puzzling it out first. I think you may have missed it - you were away when it came out. Since you were away again when I wrote this, I held it back until you had returned.
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Post by colette on Aug 29, 2011 12:38:23 GMT -5
Hermes, you are a great writer! I like your fanfic!
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Post by Hermes on Aug 29, 2011 12:54:49 GMT -5
Thank, colette! Glad you like it.
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