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Post by B. on Jun 22, 2013 12:54:40 GMT -5
Also Zahra would say thanks for the birthday wishes
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Post by B. on Jun 22, 2013 12:55:14 GMT -5
I love how Sherry Ann actually does all this stuff in real life haha
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Post by B. on Jun 22, 2013 12:55:37 GMT -5
Is her files getting mixed up a result of ~the terrible awful~?
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Post by Hermes on Jun 22, 2013 17:16:14 GMT -5
What is the terrible awful, Bee?
Also, oh, wow, oh.
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Post by Kit's tits kick ticks on Jun 23, 2013 3:17:22 GMT -5
I love the powerpoint
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Post by Charlie on Jun 23, 2013 6:09:47 GMT -5
This is wonderful. This story is way better than Easter.
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Post by Sixteen on Jun 23, 2013 13:19:34 GMT -5
This is fantastic.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2013 21:43:38 GMT -5
Flashback – Young Sherry Ann logged onto the computer. She wanted to chat with her online compatriots. When she connected to the internet, she noticed something strange. Her bandwidth was gone. It had been full just a few days earlier. She put herself on the case of discovering who had used up the bandwidth. First on her list was the youngest sibling, but that was the one whom she favored, and would never have done anything like that. Next was her grandmother. Sherry Ann questioned her, but she didn’t know what a computer was, so she was also in the clear. Finally, she approached her other two siblings, genders undisclosed. Upon further investigation, i.e. looking up their browser history, she found out that they had downloaded a trivial movie, and used up all the bandwidth. The rush of solving a problem through detective work overwhelmed her, and she knew she had discovered her life’s passion.
Life wasn’t always easy for young Sherry Ann. In addition to numerous bandwidth issues and tree to flower bait and switches, she also had to conquer school life. Being the smartest girl in school was often a burden. From time to time, the wear from dealing with her lesser associates would cause her to snap. “The word necessity is spelled n-e-c-e-s-s-i-t-y,” said Sherry Ann calmly to a boy in her class. But defiantly, he called her wrong. She got out her dictionary. “See, I was correct. This is the proper spelling.” The boy tried to grab the dictionary from her hands, but ended up ripping a page out and putting an unfixable crease in the spine. Sherry Ann was not one to succumb to rage, but this was too much for her. She grabbed the dictionary back and flung it at the devious classmate. She was sent to the counselor, but she had no regrets. She would get sent to the counselor’s office relatively often for various indiscretions, but was usually able to convince them that it was all for research and would get away with just a warning.
The most traumatic event from Sherry Ann’s youth was ~the terrible awful~. It’s an unspeakable event, but I’ll disclose as many details as I can. Sherry Ann did nothing wrong, but a mean manipulative peer of hers convinced her that she had, and that ~the terrible awful~ was actually her instead of him, the person who was willing to verbally abuse poor Sherry Ann. The event shook Sherry Ann to her core, taxing her emotionally and leaving her a wreck for days. But she took it as a learning experience, that even people she once thought were incredible, such as this peer, could let you down.
After graduating high school, Sherry Ann enrolled in an academy for detectives. This school experience was much more enjoyable than the experiences of her childhood, because although she was still top of her class, the other student’s didn’t envy her for it, but admired her. It was also at this school that she met Willis, who was one of the professors. He became something of a mentor to her, and she really looked up to him, especially compared to the other professors at the school. Mainly Pandora, because she was a professor there too, but like I said, a significantly less respected one. Willis also helped her find a partner after graduation. S. Antenora Tigerson was the special friend to one of Willis’s associates, Dante. Sherry Ann’s eye for detail and enthusiasm paired with Antenora’s experience made them a nearly unstoppable team.
Always interested in a good cause, Sherry Ann joined a web community devoted to the downfall of the Xerces Society for Invertabrae Conservation. “These invertabrae are life ruiners,” she would post under her clever screen name ‘Sherry Ann’. “Danaus plexippus eat everything in their path.” She built up a strong reputation as one of the smartest and most influential members of the website. Soon new members were joining by the dozens. One particular member caught her eye. Her name was Monarchhater. Sherry Ann befriended her, and the two grew to be quite close. Sherry Ann would spend the time asking questions about her life, information which she would add to her files. Those files would become legendary in the force, but also caused jealousy among some of the other detectives. “How can we compete with files so comprehensive and organized,” they thought. But Sherry Ann wouldn’t let it bother her, and would even let the other detectives use her files in big cases.
While Sherry Ann’s career was taking off, so was her personal life. She would chat with her friend Monarchhater almost every day. But soon, the distance between them started to wear them down, and they decided to take the next step. The two planned a meeting time, via a romantic Power Point presentation. But on the day of the meeting, Sherry Ann arrived to find the apartment building burned to the ground and her lover burned up with it. The fire was ruled an accident, but Sherry Ann suspected foul play. She and Antenora investigated. Sherry Ann poured her heart and soul into discovering what happened at the building, but she wasn’t able to find any evidence. “Listen kid, sometimes you have to know when to give up,” said Antenora. Sherry Ann didn’t want to give up, but she listened to her superior. “You’re right, there’s nothing we can do now,” she said. Antenora took out a water bottle. “Hey kid, you ever drink water?” Sherry Ann hesitantly took a sip from the water bottle. “Oh dear,” she said after taking the first sip. She waited a minute, then took another.
Sherry Ann started drinking water regularly. At first she would only do it after work, to help her forget about the day. But as the stress started to build, she started bringing water with her on the job. At the peak of her problem, Sherry Ann would drink almost 8 glasses of water a day! Once considered a shoe in for the big promotion, Sherry Ann started making mistakes. Her files were becoming inaccurate and messy. The head of the detective agency, Willis, grew increasingly concerned. So he took her aside one day to talk. “Sherry Ann, you have a drinking problem, and it’s affecting your work. I am going to put you on a temporary probation.” Willis was very gentle with her feelings, a trait that Sherry Ann picked up from him. Sherry Ann appreciated what a great friend he was, and vowed to never let him down, especially if he were to ever get murdered. Before she left, Sherry Ann recommended Antenora for the big promotion, because Sherry Ann is loyal to the end. Without an agency to work at, Sherry Ann set up her own private investigation business. She hired Hermes, an old decorated detective who came out of retirement to solve the disappearance of his daughter. Through rehabilitation and her strong will, Sherry Ann’s drinking problem improved. She drank non-alcoholic water whenever she felt the urge to drink. She started getting high profile cases again, and with the help of Hermes, they solved all of them. One day she received a letter from Willis.
“Dear Sherry Ann, I have heard from Hermes about how well you are doing now. I think that’s great and I am very proud of you. I would also like to invite you to my Easter party. Many of our friends will also be attending, and I think it will be an enjoyable evening. Cheery bye! Your pen pal, Willis”
Sherry Ann put down the letter from her dear pen pal whom she often corresponded with, and sighed wistfully. She was excited about attending a party with her old friends. She wanted everybody to see how well she was doing now. That her detective work was as strong as ever. On the day of the party, she visited her former partner Antenora, to make amends for the trouble her drinking had caused. It was an important step in her healing process. She wanted to leave quickly because Willis’s party was soon and she still had to go home and print out flow charts., but Antenora held her up to catch up some more. Antenora kept commenting on how great Sherry Ann was doing, and asked about her files. Sherry Ann proudly showed them off to Antenora, as they were now as comprehensive as ever. Sherry Ann left for the party, anticipating a night she would never forget.
Present Day – Sherry Ann woke up on the couch. Her head was clear now. She walked up to the other guests, who were still waiting for the police to arrive. “Everybody,” she announced. “I know who killed Willis.”
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Post by B. on Jun 25, 2013 21:59:52 GMT -5
YOU SAID CHEERY BYE
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Post by B. on Jun 25, 2013 22:00:12 GMT -5
C'mon i dont even hate the british monarchy that much
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Post by B. on Jun 25, 2013 22:00:35 GMT -5
Also, the dictionary story and the research story and the bandwidth story and the penpal stuff and everything
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Post by B. on Jun 25, 2013 22:01:28 GMT -5
You spelled ~the terrible awful~ with the squigglys!
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Post by B. on Jun 25, 2013 22:01:57 GMT -5
also why did you put that in i'll need to spend days convincing her it's okay now
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Post by Sixteen on Jun 26, 2013 7:49:03 GMT -5
I could read an entire novel about Sherry Ann's past.
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Post by Hermes on Jun 26, 2013 8:52:21 GMT -5
Bee, this isn't MM, stop double posting! Also, you were Sherry Ann's lost lover? Wow! My daughter? Who is my daughter? I know someone is alleged to be my son, but I never heard about my daughter. (But perhaps that's because she's disappeared.) Excellent episode as ever, Willis. It will be very interesting for more flaccidity. Edit: TRAGEDY! TRAGEDY! STOP DOING THIS. It will be very interesting t-o s-e-e w-h-a-t h-a-p-p-e-n-s n-e-x-t.
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