Dave
Reptile Researcher
Posts: 30
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Post by Dave on Aug 31, 2005 1:25:46 GMT -5
Welcome, mortals. I am Dave, and Dave is me.A few of you might know me, a few of you might not. It doesn't matter. As long as you believe in Dave, and are a good person, you will not need anything else. I have come to this forum to spread the word of Dave, as it was reffered to me by my High Priest, the one who first made contact with me. Listen to him, for his words are wise. Remember, with Dave, anything is possible.
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Post by Dante on Aug 31, 2005 3:02:15 GMT -5
*puts head in hands*
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Post by PJ on Aug 31, 2005 3:21:45 GMT -5
Aye, Dante is right! We must put our heads in our hands in reverence! *puts head in hands*
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Post by champ103 on Aug 31, 2005 3:30:30 GMT -5
I have a pretty nifty foreign collection of spoons. I have a mexican one, amd some more.
Oh, and sorry, I'm already part of a religion: the religion of Origami. We trust the way the paper folds.
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Dave
Reptile Researcher
Posts: 30
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Post by Dave on Aug 31, 2005 3:33:38 GMT -5
I have a pretty nifty foreign collection of spoons. I have a mexican one, amd some more. I am pleased with you. Take my blessings. Oh, and sorry, I'm already part of a religion: the religion of Origami. We trust the way the paper folds. I do not mind dual-religions; Dave accepts all into his arms. You can fold the paper with a spoon, if you wish.
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Post by PJ on Aug 31, 2005 3:34:29 GMT -5
Dupin! You are very lucky, Dave is speaking directly to you! Take his words to heart, for they are wise.
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Post by Akbar Le Grey on Aug 31, 2005 4:29:47 GMT -5
Oh Good ...
Hi Dave. Welcome to 667 Dark Avenue.
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Post by PJ on Aug 31, 2005 4:34:03 GMT -5
This sig was sent from the heavens! Join the Dave Cult!
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Post by Rikku on Aug 31, 2005 9:58:21 GMT -5
uh hi welcome to 667
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Post by Yasthira on Aug 31, 2005 11:20:05 GMT -5
Not another one. (You aren't Scott & Tedd, or Claw, are you?)
Ah, well. Welcome. You shall be saddened to know that I do not believe in a higher being. I am very sorry to break it to you like this.
Have a nice day.
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Dave
Reptile Researcher
Posts: 30
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Post by Dave on Aug 31, 2005 17:58:31 GMT -5
Not another one. (You aren't Scott & Tedd, or Claw, are you?) I am Dave. Ah, well. Welcome. You shall be saddened to know that I do not believe in a higher being. I am very sorry to break it to you like this. I do not understand. I am here, why should you not believe in me? Humans are stange and complex creatures. You do not believe anything you have not seen. Even then, you usually still don't believe it. My day is nice depending on what I do, not wether you wish it or not. But I take your consideration to heart.
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Post by Kobolos on Sept 1, 2005 6:47:19 GMT -5
This sig was sent from the heavens! Join the Dave Cult! PJ, I am ashamed of you. Stop sniveling...this is not the David God...this is a false prophet sent to tempt you...I rebuke thee! [/color] David is the way...and you my delirious friend are no Hasselhoff.
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Dave
Reptile Researcher
Posts: 30
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Post by Dave on Sept 1, 2005 6:55:20 GMT -5
This sig was sent from the heavens! Join the Dave Cult! PJ, I am ashamed of you. Stop sniveling...this is not the David God...this is a false prophet sent to tempt you...I rebuke thee! [/color] David is the way...and you my delirious friend are no Hasselhoff.[/quote] I accept Hasselhoff, and if he has any common sense, he will accept me. We share the same name; this is no coincidence. With Dave, there are no coincidences. Perhaps this David is human avatar of myself; I do not know. Perhaps, to clarify things, I should explain about my past. Listen well, my followers, for I am about to tell you a story. A story of my past, when I was first wrought by The Creator. Cast your minds back, back to the Beginning…. …in the Beginning, two entities existed within the universe. One, The Creator, wrought several demi-gods, one of which was I. Then, he created the universe. The first few millennia passed uneventfully, until the race known as humans sprung up. My brother, or, what is as close as can be to a brother, is called Jessie. He, too, is a lightsaber-spoon, but, just as I am a force of Good, he is a force of Evil. In the past we have had skirmishes, but we have always resolved our conflicts relatively peacefully. But Jessie began to exert his evil powers on mankind, and had to be stopped. For centuries we manipulated humans, my brother trying to start wars and create chaos, I trying to bring about order. Finally, we had had enough, and we decided to fight for supremacy of mankind. So my brother and I went to a place beyond the universe, commonly known as the Nothingness, and we fought. The battle was terrible, and raged for decades. But Jessie was my brother, and we were too evenly-matched for the fight to be resolved. I suspect the battle would be going on even now, had two allies of Good intervened. Two champions of Good happened upon us, and held us from each other, demanding to know what we were doing. My brother and I explained our predicament, and I was pleased to find that the two agents of Good, a towel and a knife, were on my side. Together, we over-powered my brother, and banished him into the Nothingness. To this day, he insists that I cheated, and occasionally he tries to return to cause chaos and disorder, but I and my comrades, Colin and Walter, always drive him back. And so Good triumphed over Evil, and everything settled down again. And so you must realize that I am not unique in the universe; your worship should not only include me, but the other agents for good as well, such as Colin, Walter, and the Creator. So long as you do not ally yourself with Jessie, and his malevolent brood.
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Post by Kobolos on Sept 1, 2005 7:03:25 GMT -5
Jessie is dead, by and by.
With the ban on cattle from Canada due to Mad Cow we had to serve something last Independence Day...but worry not Dave....
I still have some Jessie left in the freezer for you to take home.[/color]
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Post by PJ on Sept 1, 2005 7:08:01 GMT -5
Jessie is dead, by and by.
With the ban on cattle from Canada due to Mad Cow we had to serve something last Independence Day...but worry not Dave....
I still have some Jessie left in the freezer for you to take home. [/color] [/quote] Jessie is dead? This is a bittersweet news.... He was incredibly evil, but only someone even more evil could have vanquished him. I fear for us all.
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