Post by Hermedy on Jun 28, 2008 16:25:02 GMT -5
Jun 28, 2008 12:55:36 GMT -5 @moon said:
Round 1 - Match 7Kate changed the channel to MTV so she could watch the next episode of “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila 2” so she could make fun of it in her lj. Ann rollerskated in and started making fun of the reality show with Kate. Mr. Who was being an annoying guy as usual, bothering Trish so much that she considered knocking him out before the match even began. Meanwhile in the other room, the boring MSN 4 were sitting around discussing celebrity Big Brother or something. Dupin was whining about having to face the people who showed the world of 667 his real name. Kimia and Aimee said something semi comforting but still really boring to him. Skalu was masturbating because he is a pervert. The bell rang for the beginning of the match, and the two teams came out ready to fight.
“Today’s match will take place in the operating room in Heimlich Hospital” said Daniel Handler. “Lemony Snicket is busy attending an anniversary of a forum that he values more than you guys, so I will be the sole referee.” He ushered the two teams to opposite sides of the room. “You may use no outside weapons, and also you must wash your hands before the match so that you don’t contaminate the area. On the count of three, the match will start. One, two, THREE”
The two teams lined up at the sink to wash their hands. At the end of the line was Mr. Who. He started making farm animal noises. Aimee, who was directly in front of him, elbowed him in the stomach. “Hey, stop that, Magnetic fields lyric.” Then he started dancing around spastically, and took his shirt off. Skalu got turned on by this and started rubbing Mr. Who’s chest sensually. By this time, everybody else had finished washing their hands. Kate, Ann and Trish had a secret meeting with Dupin, Aimee and Kimia while all of this happened. “Listen” said Kate. “These fu-cks are embarrassing to our teams. How about we take them out, then start a 3 vs. 3 match before one of them screws us over.” Everybody nodded in agreement. Trish and Ann grabbed some blades and drove them into Mr Who’s back. He fell to the ground, yelling “I don’t celebrate birthdays.” Aimee and Kimia took steel bedpans and smashed them against Skalu’s head. He fell to the ground, yelling “Boobs.” The two teams then went to their corners to begin what they considered the real match.
Dupin stood on top of the counter and started yelling orders to the rest of his team, because he always felt he was a great leader. Kimia and Aimee groaned, but still tried to double team Trish. Kimia kicked Trish in the stomach, while Aimee double punched her in the face. Kate was standing in the corner dying her hair, but when she saw her lover Trish being beaten up, she couldn’t take it. She was even angrier than the time Dupin made her stop talking about Degrassi in a thread that wasn’t about Degrassi. She took the bin of tongue depressors and slammed Aimee against the wall. Then, she started stabbing the blunt popsicle sticks into Aimee’s body as she screamed, then passed out. Next, Kate took the bin of cotton balls and forced them all down Kimia’s throat while Ann held her back. Dupin was still standing at the top yelling orders, but he hadn’t noticed that his cronies weren’t following them since he had his eyes closed the entire time. Kate and Ann held hands, then ran up on the counter and clotheslined him. He knocked his head against the bed as he fell, landing face first on the ground. Daniel Handler declared him knocked out, but Kate and Ann kept stomping on him yelling his full name out loud. Daniel Handler wondered why he had bothered having them wash their hands considering how bloody the room was.
Wow. I thought Match 6 would be a tough act to follow, but this was great. I'm looking forward to the end of Round 1.