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Post by Seymour Glass on May 29, 2012 7:48:38 GMT -5
*laughs* Oh, Lenny & Carl. I had forgotten how gay they were XD Lenny and Carl are definitely not ones to talk.
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Post by blakegriplingph on Jun 1, 2012 3:37:45 GMT -5
Olaf: If I had a dollar off the Baudelaire fortune, I'll have one dollar.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Jun 5, 2012 11:27:11 GMT -5
*Klaus ends up in an alternate universe*
Beatrice: Morning, dear.
Klaus: Mom! You're so... young!
Beatrice: You're sweet. Now you better hurry up and get dressed, or you'll be late for school.
Klaus: School?
Kit: *walks in* That's right. It's time for school.
Klaus: Kit!
Kit: Oh, listen to him. Kit. It's Mother Snicket. Hello! I'm going to be in meetings all day, but I won't be home too late for supper.
Beatrice: I hope not.
Kit: Oh, you're such a hoper!
*Beatrice and Kit kiss and Klaus makes a weird face*
*Bertrand and Lemony come in*
Beatrice: Oh look, it's your dad and Daddy Snicket. Now what could they want so early in the morning?
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Beatrice: Klaus Baudelaire!
Klaus: Yes?
Beatrice: You're home!
Klaus: Yes.
Beatrice: Why?
Klaus: I live here?
Beatrice: It's Thursday night! You're supposed to be at your father's and Daddy Snicket's tonight.
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Post by Invisible on Jun 7, 2012 17:38:09 GMT -5
*Monty and Dakota are at karaoke bar together* Monty: Dakota, I can't let you sing. Dakota: Why not? Monty: Because I'm gonna sing! Dakota: What?! *Monty goes up on the stage* Woman: Let's spend the night together? Monty: I'm flattered, but I'm not a date. You got anything else on the cue/queue? Woman: Rocketman? Monty: Not tonight! Any other song? *points at the machine* Oh, that's good. *I'm Too Sexy starts playing* Blonde woman: What is he doing? I thought your father hated karaoke. Dakota: He does. Monty: *sings* I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt! So sexy it hurts! I am a model, you know what I mean. I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk! On the catwalk! I shake my little tush on the catwalk! ... I'm too sexy for my cat. Too sexy for my cat. Poor pussy p-p-pussycat! And I'm too sexy for this song! *Song ends and everyone cheers.* Based on this hilarious scene from a show starring the incredibly wonderful William Shatner ;D www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjkhprxoYu4&feature=relatedHe would make the perfect Uncle Monty, don't you think?
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Post by Very Funky Disco on Jun 25, 2012 12:54:05 GMT -5
That's a good one, Freebird!
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Post by Very Funky Disco on Jul 4, 2012 23:46:23 GMT -5
Since the Maxwell-isms topic is probably too old to bump up, now.
*A few years after Maxwell Squalor has disowned Jerome*
Interviewer: You don't miss him? You don't miss your son?
Maxwell: No, why would I miss him?
Interviewer: Because he's your son!
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Post by Seymour Glass on Jul 5, 2012 10:57:36 GMT -5
Since the Maxwell-isms topic is probably too old to bump up, now. *A few years after Maxwell Squalor has disowned Jerome* Interviewer: You don't miss him? You don't miss your son? Maxwell: No, why would I miss him? Interviewer: Because he's your son! Is that from that Westboro Baptist video?
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Post by Very Funky Disco on Jul 5, 2012 11:39:17 GMT -5
Yeah, it is.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Jul 5, 2012 12:29:39 GMT -5
I feel sorry for the kids.
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Post by Very Funky Disco on Jul 5, 2012 23:19:07 GMT -5
So do I. As much as we may despise Westboro Baptist Church, it'd be highly insensitive to extend our disgust for the church to the children. After all, they were indoctrinated into their parents' beliefs - and are being used by their parents to incite hatred. I don't doubt that there are people who hate every single member of WBC, including the children - but the children can't help who they were born to.
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Post by Invisible on Jul 13, 2012 7:06:10 GMT -5
Inspired by a recent events...
*18 year old Monty had just started to learn to drive. His mother is watching from the front porch. Monty drives for the first time, albeit very very very slowly*
Monty: Look, Mom! I'm driving! Hi, Mom! *waves*
Martha: Don't look at me! Keep your eyes on the road! Monty! Keep your eyes on the road!
Monty: I'm driving! I'm driving a real-life car!
Martha: Monty! Put the brake on! Brake!
Monty: Look, Mom! You're not look-
*he crashes into a lamppost*
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Post by Very Funky Disco on Jul 14, 2012 17:58:18 GMT -5
*In Sophie's Universe*
Jake: Could I please have a... single chocolate ice cream?
Esme: You shouldn't say "please" to her. Only to people you know.
Jake: *sadly* Oh... I'm sorry, Missus Ice Cream Lady. Am I still allowed a single chocolate ice cream?
Esme: No, don't apologise, either! Just say what you want and don't talk to her. You'll waste good manners otherwise.
Jake: Oh, okay... I would please like a single chocolate ice cream and nothing else.
Esme: No, you said "please" again! Look, it's not that hard! Your manners are terrible!
Person Behind Counter: *after creating gigantic ice cream sundae* Here you go, young man! You're the politest customer I've had today, and polite customers always get rewarded! If there were more customers like you, wouldn't the world be a nicer place?
Esme: Ugh! He's not supposed to be polite to people on minimum wage!
Person Behind Counter: *ignoring Esme* Thank you, young man, for battling the forces of rudeness and for making the world a better place!
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Post by Seymour Glass on Jul 15, 2012 14:10:00 GMT -5
Emma's absences really worry me.
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Post by Invisible on Jul 15, 2012 15:41:04 GMT -5
Me too.
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Post by Hermes on Jul 15, 2012 16:10:29 GMT -5
I think that's true of all of us (though I'm not sure why we're saying it in this thread).
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