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Post by Christmas Chief on Nov 14, 2010 17:43:59 GMT -5
I sense mayhem occuring in the upcoming chapter, if my mental image of "run on a table" is correct.
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Post by Tiago James Squalor on Nov 14, 2010 19:50:57 GMT -5
Chapter Five Of the most dangerous professions in the world is the job of teaching. You can be the best teacher around, and then be assigned to teach a class of dangerous delinquents, rabid teenage girls, or unempathetic seniors, in which case you will be doomed to being assaulted, laughed at or merely stared by your unresponsive students. If a class does not respect a teacher, they will show it, usually in painful manners. So you can imagine Violet and Klaus Baudelaire's nervouness as they woke up the next day, which would be their first - and last - day teaching at Old Oaks Orphanage. Violet had to teach a Science class, and Klaus, Literature. Both fields were right up each Baudelaires' alleys - an expression here meaning 'in their fields of understanding' - but had Violet been assigned to teach Literature, she'd probably do a decent job at it, being a devoted reader - though not as much as Klaus - and had Klaus been assigned to teach Science, he would probably do a good job at it, being a connoisseur of various scientific subjects - though not as much as Violet. The truth is, the Baudelaires were nervous because they shouldn't be teaching orphans; they should be out in the orchard, looking for Esmé Squalor's buried secret. When Violet Baudelaire woke up in the morning, she went to her brother Klaus' room. The door was still locked so Violet had to knock before. Trying not to think of the night's events, Violet and Klaus discussed what they should do with their time. 'What are we even going to teach these orphans?' Violet asked. 'We have zero experience teaching. Just because I once taught you and Sunny how to to make a bungee jump rope out of rubber bands doesn't mean I'm exactly a licensed teacher.' Violet paced around in Klaus' room nervously. 'We should be out in that orchard with shovels and lanterns, not in here, teaching those orphans.' Klaus used his index finger to straighten his glasses, which were uneven. His hair was still messy, and he got up from the bed and picked up a comb and went to the nearest mirror. 'Let's just wing it.' Klaus said, using an expression which here means 'Let's improvise'. Improvising is a dangerous thing to do, but it had saved the Baudelaires multiple times in their past. But improvising, of course, cannot be pulled off in all fields. Violet could improvise any type of invention to save herself and her siblings but she could not improvise a stand-up comedy number. Klaus could improvise methods to research in particularly hard and boring books, extracting only the necessary information, but he could certainly not improvise a dance routine. 'Let's just teach them something from the books, and stoll them around a bit. Normally, I wouldn't do such a thing, but things have never been quite normal for us for some time now.' Klaus said. 'Olive said Esmé Squalor arrives tomorrow. We have until tomorrow to find a way to go into that orchard and find the dead tree and Esmé's secret. After that, it will be much harder.' 'If Esmé is coming all the way here, then she must be coming for whatever she buried in there, years ago. Which can only mean she was an orphan here, or at least, that she lived in Ophelia at some point.' Violet said. 'Maybe Esmé is from Ophelia.' Klaus pondered. 'That would make a lot of sense. She's hiding her true maiden name for a reason, and we need to know everything we can about her origins.' Violet said. A knock was heard. 'Klaus Baudelaire?' Olive Oakley's voice was heard. 'It's time for breakfast. Is Violet in there?' Olive opened the door. She wore an olive green hair band and a pretty olive green dress. 'Oh, Violet. You're here too.' 'Yes I am. We were discussing our classes.' Violet said. Olive smiled. 'Oh, yes. Violet will teach Science first, half an hour past breakfast, after that, the kids have Music class with Nero, then Writing with Mr. Remora, then Home Economics with Ms. Perch. After that, is lunch. After lunch, I will follow with History. Mr. Flounder will then follow with English and Drama classes, then, after all that, the last class is Klaus' with Literature.' 'Is the class mixed?' Violet asked. 'I mean, do all the orphans watch the same classes, at the same time?' 'Yes. The classes used to be divided between boys and girls, but...We decided to change that.' Olive said. 'Put on your clothes and come down to the dining hall. It's where we all have breakfast.' Olive then smiled and walked out of the room, leaving Violet and Klaus. 'Do you think we should tell her what happened last night?' Klaus asked. 'No, not now at least. Olive hasn't quite warmed up to us yet, I think.' Violet said. It was true. Unlike with Audrey Addams, the good doctor at Addams Asylum, the Baudelaires hadn't quite connected with Olive Oakley. They felt a wall was drawn between them, much like the hedge fence separating the orphanage common grounds from the orchard and the forest. After Violet and Klaus got dressed up, and Violet dressed Sunny and Beatrice, the four Baudelaires descended to the first floor, and headed for the dining hall. They walked into a full blown chaos; Pepper, the energetic orphan girl, was running on top of one of the tables, running from Miss Hannigan, who ran alongside the very long table, trying to grab Pepper and failing, as the girl was very fast. 'Catch me if you can!' Pepper shouted, amidst laughter, while the boys chanted a choir of 'Pepper! Pepper! Pepper!' and the girls merely sat still at one of the tables, looking aprehensively at Pepper's tantrum, and the increasingly tired and sweaty Miss Hannigan running beside her. The faculty members were all there, everyone, except Ms. Perch, seemed oblivious to what was happening. 'She's possessed! We must exorcize her! I'm calling Father Oates from church!' Ms. Perch shouted in her shrieky voice, holding a bible and a crucifix up to Pepper, who kept showing Ms. Perch the tongue and doing other obscene gestures which I, dear reader, cannot describe. Olive Oakley, on the other hand, stared blankly at something the Baudelaires could not see, for it was inside her mind, and with a sad expression. The whole scene greatly reminded the Baudelaires of the time when Cindry Fulfillment ran on top of the Casanova Casino's heart-shaped, hollow tea party table, breaking dishes so that the Baudelaires could find the sugarbowl. 'I got you!' Miss Hannigan's man-like, thunderous voice was heard as she succesfully grabbed Pepper. The girl struggled, trying to break out of the large woman's grip, but failed. 'Pepper! This is it! You're going to the room!' Pepper's otherwise sassy face took on an expression of terror. 'No! Not the room!' 'Miss Hannigan!' Olive Oakley yelled. She approached Miss Hannigan and removed Pepper from the woman's grip. 'Pepper behaved poorly, but the kids have class shortly, and Pepper will be in that class.' Miss Hannigan looked furious, and Ms. Perch was holding her black bible in front of her face, her eyes closed, mumbling something about demons. 'This is why these orphans are they way they are!' Miss Hannigan shouted. 'Your lack of a backbone is pathetic, Olive. You are nothing but a poor substitute of your brothers.' Then the large woman walked out fo the dining hall. 'Go sit, Pepper.' Olive told Pepper. The girl went to the orphans' table, while Olive stood still in the middle of the room. She seemed paralyzed. 'Oh, Baudelaires, I apologize. I'm sorry you had to witness this.' Olive said upon noticing the Baudelaires, standing in the entrance. They proceeded onto their seats and started sharing breakfast with the other faculty members. Mr. Remora had banana, while Ms. Bass had six cubic centimeters of coffee, and Nero, candy. Mr. Flounder had scones and italian gellatto. The Baudelaires ate silently, and in no time, it was time for the school hours to start. Olive got up and rang a bell that was inside the dinner, the orphans all arose from their seats and left the dining hall. The Baudelaires were about to find out what it felt like to teach others; and the fact that their students were orphans only made them all the more nervous. It was a large responsability and the Baudelaires were not sure it was a responsability they would like to have, but if they planned to suceed, they had to get past this obstacle, no matter what.
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Nov 14, 2010 22:49:04 GMT -5
What a great chapter, Tiago! I agree with Olive - there's no reason why the boys and the girls can't all learn together. As always, Pepper's antics never failed to amuse me. Ms. Perch is so silly, thinking the girl's personality has to do with demons. However, I don't like the sound of 'the room.' I shudder to think if it's anything like the Chokey from Roald Dahl's Matilda. In which case, Pepper would do best to keep on running! Once again, everyone is so mean to Olive! *hugs her* She does have a backbone - she just doesn't feel it's necessary to raise her voice. On another note, I'm very much looking forward to the return of Esme Squalor, as well as that of Natalie and Nathan. ;D
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Post by Dante on Nov 15, 2010 3:58:44 GMT -5
Haha, I was also thinking of the Chokey. I can understand why someone like Pepper would want to make trouble when the vast majority of the orphanage's teachers are such awful people, but I hope they appreciate the efforts made by Olive and the Baudelaires. As for gender-segregated classes, I've heard theories about why it might be a good idea in certain subjects, but to be honest I doubt it'd make too great a difference.
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Post by Hermes on Nov 15, 2010 10:27:40 GMT -5
Yes, I like Olive. It seesm to be a rule that there's at least one nice person wherever the Baudelaires go.
And the room does indeed sound scary.
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Post by Christmas Chief on Nov 15, 2010 15:34:51 GMT -5
How odd, because I also thought of the Chokey when Miss Hannigan described the room.
The orphans sound as though they have a pretty busy schedule--eight or so subjects in one day sounds like quite a bit of work.
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Post by Tiago James Squalor on Nov 17, 2010 16:42:45 GMT -5
Chapter Seven out soon, stay tuned. ^^
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Post by Dante on Nov 17, 2010 16:43:39 GMT -5
Glad to hear it, Tiago. You've got us hooked.
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Post by Tiago James Squalor on Nov 17, 2010 17:56:29 GMT -5
Chapter Six Violet Baudelaire was now in front of an audience comprised of eight eager and active - not to say hyper-active, which means 'a handful' which in turn means ' trouble' - orphans, Violet taught them as she read from a science book Olive Oakley had handed her. Klaus was also allowed to watch the class, and Olive did so too, in a way of supporting Violet. Violet was about to begin a class on Astronomy - which Klaus would have defined as 'the field of science which studies space and celestial bodies' - with a book titled 'Astronomy for Children: Broken down mish mash of space and everything.' The orphans, however, didn't seem too interested in space. 'Are you going to teach us how to build a rocket?' Pepper asked Violet with a blasé expression on her freckled face. Violet frowned. 'No, but I am going to teach you about space, the universe, and everything.' She said. Pepper shunned with a dismissing hand gesture. The boys were too busy making paper planes and the girls, swapping notes and giggling. Violet feared her first experience as a teacher would not be a very successful one. 'Well, okay, let's pick a planet to focus on. Does anyone have a favorite planet?' 'Yeah, is there a planet called Fun, because I sure would like to be there right now.' Pepper said. 'Pepper! Let Violet teach her class in peace.' Olive reprehended. 'Go on, Violet. Why don't you start with Saturn?' Olive said, smiling. When she smiled, she looked even more like Isadora Quagmire. The resemblance was so uncanny Violet found it a bit disturbing and looked away. She lowered her eyes to the book in her hands and flipped the pages until she got to the page on Saturn. 'Saturn. Interesting choice, Olive. Well, what do you all know about Saturn?' 'I know it's boring.' Pepper said. 'You've made it pretty clear you are bored, Pepper, but quit interrupting Violet!' Olive reprehended again. Pepper rolled her eyes. 'Sorry. Go on.' Violet resumed her class. 'Well, Saturn is one of the most interesting planets in our solar system. It is the planet with the largest rings, and with the most moons. It was named after the roman god of agriculture, Saturn, which in greek, was called Chronos.' Violet paced around a bit in the room and resumed her speech. 'Some of Saturn's most famous moons inclue Pan, Atlas, Prometheus, Pandora, Enceladus, Thethys, Calypso, Hyperion, and Titan.' 'My mom was called Pandora.' Said Pepper. 'She was?' Violet was surprised. 'Yes.' Violet then resumed her speech. 'Saturn has the largest, most visible rings, but it is not the only planet with rings. Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune also have rings.' 'They're married?' Annie asked. Everyone laughed, and she blushed. 'No, Annie. Not that kind of ring.' Violet said. Annie was very little, she seemed about six or seven years old, and she didn't know much of the world outside Ophelia. Neither did any of the other orphans, Violet seemed. Knowing what she knew of the world, she was not sure whether to think this was bad or good. Was it better to not know of the world's treachery and live in such a closed community? Violet was not sure anymore. 'These rings are gigantic celestial bodies made of ice and rocks that float around a planet's orbit, captured by their gravity.' 'Miss Hannigan doesn't have a ring, and she's as big as Saturn!' Pepper said, making all the other orphans laugh. 'Pepper!' Olive reprehended again. Klaus, who was at the back of the room, nearby Olive, was silent the whole time. This was a trait Klaus had, that whenever he thought really hard about something - anything - he would always get very silent and focused. Suddenly, he arose from his chair and tapped Olive on the shoulder. 'Olive, may I be excused? I need to use the lavatory.' 'Oh, of course. It's right down the hall, to the left. It's the door in the darkest end of the hallway, you can't miss it.' Olive said, not knowing Klaus was going very much to miss it. He had other plans than to visit the lavatory, and he needed to go alone. He was scared, of course, because if he got caught it would be really hard to explain himself. Taking a much different route, Klaus treaded the dark hallways of the orphanage and arrived at the double doors that led into the Oliver Oakley's study. Klaus knew that Oliver would not be pleased with that, but he had to go in. Whatever that study could have on Esmé Squalor would be a godsend for the Baudelaires. 'Know thine enemy.' Klaus thought to himself as he closed the double doors behind him. The study was just as it was the last time they had been there. The windows on either side of the room let in the diffuse light of the autumn morning. The clouded sky and the fog outside made for very much darkness even during the day. Klaus was very nervous as he was about to go through the private archives of the orphanage, and he knew he could get into trouble for it. He walked up to a large ebony bookshelf. It had dozens of leather bound black folders, ranging from numbers to the letters of the alphabet. The letter 'E' was in the top bookshelf, a tad to far up for Klaus to extend his arm and be able to get it on his own; he tried to lift one of the armchairs, but they were too heavy, and dragging them would make lots of noise and also, leave marks on the dark wooden floor. He had no choice but to climb the bookshelf; carefully, he climbed; the wood cringed and creaked, but it did not crack; Klaus soon got to the top shelf. When he tried to remove the E folder, he realized it was heavier than he thought. He pulled and tried to grab it, but the heavy folder fell and Klaus did too; with a large thud, Klaus hit the wooden floor of the study with the folder, it opened and spread out several pages contained inside, some very old and stained. He quickly gathered the pages in an attempt to organize the now spread out folder, but one of the pages caught his attention. 'E. Salinger, orphaned at age 8 along with sister B. Salinger, age 7. The father of both, H. Salinger, died in a fire. The mother of E. Salinger, F. Salinger, died at Addams Asylum, where she had been commited, after going insane when H. left her for B. Salinger's mother.' 'Could this be...Esmé Squalor's real maiden name?' Klaus asked himself as he examined the document. He noticed a smaller folder was contained inside the large E folder. He grabbed it and examined the cover. Esmé Gigi Geniveve Salinger - Personal Record - The folder had a signature, which read 'Osborne Oakley.' It was true. Esmé Squalor had lived in Old Oaks Orphanage in the past, during the time which Osborne Oakley was still alive. Klaus had found gold. Proof that not only was Esmé Squalor also an orphan, her real family name, and the relationship to the mysterious B. Salinger, who he had no idea who could be - all he knew was that this B was female - Quickly, Klaus shoved the E Folder back into the gap where it belonged in the shelf, after carefully climbing the shelves again. He left the study, and climbed the stairs up to his bedroom. Taking careful steps and always looking over his shoulder, of course. He shoved the Esmé file under his mattress and locked the room's door. Klaus returned to the classroom where Violet was just finishing her class. 'And that's how Isaac Newton elaborated the theory of gravity.' Klaus heard Violet say as he walked into the room. Klaus sat at the back of the class and looked eagerly at Violet. After the orphans left with Olive, so that they could take a fifteen minute break, Klaus walked up to Violet. 'Let's get Sunny and Beatrice. We need to talk.'
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Nov 17, 2010 19:04:25 GMT -5
Oh, yay! I'm so pleased to see this story continuing. I know it's only been three days, but it seems longer somehow. Excellent chapter, btw. I love the title of the Astronomy textbook - it's so creative, and just the sort of title to something that would turn up in ASoUE. Pepper's continuous interruptions during Violet's lecture were hilarious! I had a classmate in middle school who often did stuff like that. And Pepper's mother's name was Pandora? Interesting! I loved Annie in this chapter. She's so cute, and her innocence ( 'They're married?' Annie asked. Everyone laughed, and she blushed. 'No, Annie. Not that kind of ring.' Violet said.) really brings to the surface her childish innocence. ^^ And we finally know Esme's maiden name - *hugs you for the millionth time for adopting the Salinger idea into your ficverse* - as well as some clues to her (clearly tragic) past. I'm looking forward to seeing how the Baudelaires will go about unraveling this latest mystery, and what will occur as they go about it.
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Fiona Fanboy
Catastrophic Captain
Klaus' rival for the affections of Fiona Widdershins
Posts: 91
Likes: 2
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Post by Fiona Fanboy on Nov 18, 2010 4:09:07 GMT -5
Oh, Pepper. So mean, yet so silly. There's 1 astronomy joke that'll stick in my mind for good: Earth is mostly harmless. Speaking of science, are you familiar with the technological singularity?
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Post by Hermes on Nov 18, 2010 8:27:18 GMT -5
Oh wow! At lasr we are getting some revelations. So B is female - but in that case - oh! - but surely - well, no doubt we will find out in due time. I wonder who H and F are, though.
(Isn't it a bit odd that they are keeping students' files under their first name? Though no odder than filing paragraphs about the weather at Damocles dock under 'paragraphs', I suppose.)
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Post by Emma “Emmz” Squalor on Nov 18, 2010 9:14:27 GMT -5
(Isn't it a bit odd that they are keeping students' files under their first name? Though no odder than filing paragraphs about the weather at Damocles dock under 'paragraphs', I suppose.) I thought the same thing, about the orphans' names being sorted under their first name. It's definitely a Lemony way to go, however, considering how the weather at Damocles Dock is sorted under 'paragraphs'. That's mentioned in LSTUA, right?
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Post by Tiago James Squalor on Nov 18, 2010 10:11:59 GMT -5
Chapter Seven out in a bit.
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Post by Dante on Nov 18, 2010 10:27:08 GMT -5
Depending on the origins of some of these orphans, it might be impossible to identify their surnames. First names, which might themselves be concocted by the orphanage staff, would be all they had to go by. Also, Klaus would otherwise have no chance of finding Esmé without going through every folder, so...
Anyway, I'm glad to finally be able to read this, and it seems like there will be revelations aplenty as this tale continues. Lots to mull over here, which is as it should be in aSoUE at its best.
Edit: Oh, I posted just at the right moment. Chapter Seven soon, too.
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