Chapter Six
An unlikely visitor is one that almost always arrives unannounced, unwanted, and most of all, uninvited. They could be a realtor who takes up all your afternoon with small talk, trying to sell you a house by a lake, or convince you to sell your childhood home by the sea. An unlikely visitor is also someone you’d never ever expect to just come knocking on your door asking for favors, but even though they do, you’re still too shocked to being visited by them to throw them out or deny them whatever favors they might ask. That night at Burton’s Bazaar, at Burton House, four unlikely visitors arrived at the doorstep of Helena and Augusten Burton’s house. Three of which were unwanted, unannounced and uninvited, and one of which who was very much wanted to the point that the other three other visitors are also made, if not equally, at least in part, wanted, too. Peering through the magic eye on the main door, Augusten Burton saw the four pale faces of Carmelita Spats, the Finch siblings, Natalie and Nathan, and the poor Cindry Fulfillment who had undergone quite a series of terribly unfortunate events that had led her to that doorstep in such unwanted company.
‘Come on! We don’t have all the time in the world! Open this door! We want to talk to Helena Burton!’ Carmelita’s voice resonated through the wood of the door. Everyone was present at the living room this time around, except for the bazaar saleswomen and Ed, who was still tending to his shop at the Bazaar. Helena Burton apprehensively nodded to Augusten, who opened the door. ‘May I help you?’
‘You certainly may. We want to talk to Helena Burton. Where is she?’ Carmelita asked, not at all impressed by the inner décor of the place, or by Augusten. ‘She’s in the living room.’ Carmelita entered, punishing the wooden floors with her pointy, heart-shaped heel. ‘Like my shoes? A gift, from a certain Italian acquaintance.’ Natalie and Nathan followed Carmelita into the house. They looked so out of place with their dark, extravagant clothes, an extraordinary feat in a bazaar noted for it’s eccentric salespeople and
habitués. Cindry Fulfillment then followed behind them. Upon seeing her, Klaus and Desmond held their breaths. She made no mention of recognizing either one, and looked bored and apathetic.
‘Are you Helena Burton?’ Carmelita asked in a rather insolent tone. ‘Yes, I am.’ Helena answered politely. ‘May I help you?’ She added. Carmelita smiled. ‘We’d like to set up two, no, three shops in this Bazaar.’
‘What?!’ Everyone, but Helena Burton, enunciated in unison. ‘Right now, our friends are closing in on this Bazaar. If you let us set up a shop or two…or three, then we could tell our friends to go away. But if you don’t, then we’ll have to be drastic.’ Carmelita sounded very serious. ‘Drastic how?’ Augusten placed himself between Carmelita and Helena. ‘I don’t feel right about this, Helena.’ Desmond said, all the while looking at Cindry, who still seemed to have no memory of who he was. ‘Listen, lady, all we want is to set up a shop or two. I want to set up a kissing booth. My friends here will tend to another shop.’ Carmelita said.
‘And does one Esmé Squalor have anything to do with this request?’ Helena Burton asked, rising from her chair. Carmelita was noticeably intimidated, but quickly regained control. She was becoming quite a villainess. ‘Let’s put it this way. If you let us, we would be willing to ignore the fate of a certain…rubber duck that is somewhere in this establishment.’
‘How do you know about that?!’ Augusten practically shouted. Helena took over. ‘Yes. Who is keeping you posted on our secrets?’ Carmelita chuckled – a word which here means she ‘broke into a sudden outburst of laughter and stopped soon after - , amused by the question. ‘We know a lot of things, that a lot of people tell us. But don’t expect us to help you. We’ve already warned you, we are onto you, and what you do at this
cakesniffing Bazaar. It’s real purpose is no secret to us. This is not a question of when, but how soon. How soon will this Bazaar be destroyed is all up to you. We have allies in every building that these alleys separate. They are there, watching. One wrong move and it will be the end of all of you cakesniffers.’
‘Where is Esmé? Where is Felix Casanova?’ Desmond Fulfillment asked. He was enraged, but still managed to not harm any of those villains-in-training. ‘Their whereabouts are none of your concern!’ Nathan Finch uttered with his cold voice. ‘They are busy. Elsewhere.’ Natalie added. Cindry stayed silent. Carmelita went to the centerpiece table, where a teapot rested alongside a set of teacups and poured herself some tea, adding five teaspoons of sugar. All the volunteers in the room cringed. They all knew that tea must always be bitter as wormwood and strong as a double-edged sword. Sipping on the now sweet tea, Carmelita smiled with ever-present malice. ‘So, are you letting us set up the shops? You don’t want anything bad happening to Cindry here, do you?’ Desmond was livid. ‘You threaten my daughter?!’
‘I’m not threatening. But I wouldn’t try to do anything against us. Esmé is not here, so, as far as I’m concerned, that girl is just dead weight. But Esmé told me to tell you this much. Don’t even think, for a second, that you can get her back.’ Carmelita said. Natalie and Nathan smiled. ‘We should know. We made her the way she is now.’ Despite being the subject of the conversation, Cindry was idle, as if she didn’t even remember her very name. Augusten positioned himself in front of Desmond, containing him, as Desmond looked very furious.
‘So, we’ll start setting up our shops. Ta-ta, cakesniffers.’ Carmelita said as she put the teacup directly on the wood of the centerpiece table, without using a doily. Nathan, Natalie and Cindry followed her outside and Augusten closed and locked the door. ‘That was…unexpected.’ He said. Desmond took a few steps. ‘I feel dizzy.’ He looked
very pale. ‘Desmond, sit down.’ Helena Burton said. She poured Desmond a cup of tea. ‘At least now we know for sure where Cindry is. We will get her back in no time.’ Helena said. ‘But, gran, if we do…They’ll destroy the Bazaar…Or worse.’ Augusten said. ‘Now is not the time for feeling sorry about ourselves, Augusten. I always knew such a day would come. Right now we need to form an alliance between ourselves. If things should go wrong, we must follow Standard Escape Plans C and D.’
‘A-Are you sure?’ Augusten seemed very surprised. Helena was adamant – a word which here means ‘Completely sure of herself and her decision’ – ‘Yes, my grandson. I’m completely sure of myself and my decision. If we allow those villains-in-training to set up shops at out Bazaar, it will only make it easier for us to see which of our own salespeople have turned against us. Then, we’ll get Cindry back from them as hurry her to Hyde Place.’
As much as they wanted Cindry back, the Baudelaires and Desmond were unsure if taking in those unwanted visitors was the right course of action to take. But since they couldn’t come up with anything else between themselves, it seemed that following Helena’s plan was the right thing. They just hoped that, soon enough, Cindry – the old Cindry Fulfillment – would be going to Thriller Park with them.