Chapter Seven
After everyone retreated to their respective posts, the four Baudelaire orphans were left in the company of Augusten Burton and Desmond Fulfillment. They all were very concerned, as anyone would be, in their situation. Desmond nervously paced around the room, holding a picture of Cindry Fulfillment, his daughter, which he every now and then would look at and make a painful expression. Augusten sipped on some tea to calm himself down, tea which the Baudelaires refused. They were not in a tea mood anyways.
‘We have to investigate just about what exactly Carmelita, Nathan and Natalie came here to do. They threatened us, but I don’t think I am alone when I say we must find out what their plans are.’ Augusten said. Desmond looked at Augusten, then at Klaus. ‘Alright. They must be setting up their shops right now. They’ll start working soon, and after they’re done and retreat to the salespeople’s quarters, some of us should follow them, through the alleys. The alleyways are dark enough that it should be very hard for them, even at dawn light, to tell they’re being followed.’
‘One of Desmond’s many talents is coming up with sensible plans in short time, under great pressure, at the most desperate of times.’ Augusten whispered to Violet. ‘That’s why he is so valorous as a volunteer.’ Desmond continued on elaborating his plan before Augusten and the Baudelaires. ‘Klaus and I go over to their shops. We pretend to help Jack and Vincent with their shops. Ed can help us too. We pay attention to the movement in their shops, the customers that patronize them, everything. When they’re done for the night, Augusten and Violet should follow them while Klaus and I report back to Helena Burton about all of this.’
‘What about us?’ Sunny and Beatrice asked. ‘Gummo.’ Said Beatrice, which Sunny translated as something along the lines of ‘I don’t want to be locked in here, I want to be out where the action is!’ Desmond smiled towards the two little girls. ‘I know Nellie wouldn’t mind a bit of help in her pie-shop and Sally, with her ragdolls, but, I’m afraid it’s best our
younger ones sit this one out. We don’t know exactly who, among our salesmen, we can trust.’
‘You obviously trust Ed, Vincent, and Jack, Desmond.’ Augusten said. ‘While I cannot say I don’t trust them, it’s best if we avoid informing them of our plan. Like you said, we don’t know how well they are infiltrated in our Bazaar, and why not, let’s say, our
organization.’ Desmond frowned, worried about the prospects of the evening which had turned to a more dark sequence of events he would have personally enjoyed. ‘Yes, Augusten, but without letting in at least some of them, we might just lose the rest. If we become too distrustful towards Ed, for an instance, we don’t know what kind of damage that would do to our friendship with him. Poor Ed. He hasn’t had a nice life before this Bazaar took him in, and now we must refuse his help?’ Augusten frowned at Desmond’s way of putting things. ‘I’m not saying this because of Ed. I would trust him with my life. But we have to be very careful here. Remember, tonight you might or might not get your daughter back. Asking the wrong salesman or saleswoman to help us would be fatal to our plot.’
After a brief discussion, during which Augusten and Desmond argued about the pros and cons of trusting and not trusting some of the salespeople, Augusten and Desmond decided it was best to not include any of the salespeople of the Bazaar. Augusten and Violet got out of the Burton’s house, and headed for the Bazaar, followed by Desmond and Klaus. Sunny and Beatrice stayed behind, with the promise that either Emily or Sally would go to pick them up. While Violet and Augusten headed for the lower section of the Bazaar, near the exit to the inner alleys that led to the warehouses and the dorms. Desmond and Klaus, on the other hand, were left with the task of pretending to help Jack and Vincent, whose shops were right next to each other. ‘Vincent, this is Klaus Baudelaire. He would like to help you.’ Desmond said to a boy with very messy, tangled, black hair and pale skin. He had dark circles around his eyes, as if he couldn’t sleep – maybe because of the many horror novels he was always reading – and wore a black and white stripped t-shirt with suspenders. ‘Oh, alright. Can you organize these novels for me please?’ Vincent asked, very politely. Klaus took some books in hand. The titles were very eye-catching, with ones such as ‘One Hundred Stories of Death and Horror’ and ‘Edgar Allan Poe: A biography’, and ‘The biography of Vincent Price’ and ‘The Book of Demons’.
Right next to Vincent’s book shop was Jack’s shop, Dark Decoratives. It basically had anything you could ever want if you wanted to decorate your living room to make it seem as funeral after funeral could be celebrated there. Dark fancy wallpaper, glue, scissors, black curtains, everything was very dark, and there were also several Halloween items displayed. Jack, the salesman, was also very dark, minus his perfect pale skin and his hair – which was strangely enough, prematurely white – and had grayish blue eyes.
‘Hello, Jack’ Desmond said. ‘Oh, Desmond! Sally told me you were here, I almost couldn’t believe her. I thought you were looking for your sister, and your brother.’ Jack said, while cutting some wallpaper. ‘Yes. But there were more urgent matters for me to deal with here at the Bazaar.’ Jack frowned. ‘What could be more urgent than finding your sister and brother?’ Desmond smiled pensively. ‘Finding one’s daughter.’
Saying this, Desmond looked to the opposite side of the alleyway they were in. The main alleyway of Burton’s Bazaar was wide enough to be almost considered a traverse, but it couldn’t properly be classified as one. On the opposite side to which the shops of Jack and Vincent stood, three new shops had been set up. Natalie and Nathan Finch tended to ‘Personal Psychiatry’. There was a sign that read ‘Psychiatrical advisory for 13 dollars a session.’ Klaus’ only thought was that if anyone could use psychiatrical guidance, it was the two Finch siblings themselves. Carmelita’s shop was worse. Heavily decorated with pink hearts. ‘Carmelita’s Kissing Booth’ with a sign that read ‘Kisses from the prettiest girl in the whole wide world! Just 13 dollars a smooch!’ Klaus could not fathom why anyone would want to kiss Carmelita, let alone for 13 dollars. Cindry had also set a up a shop, and however absurd Natalie and Nathan’s and Carmelita’s shops were, he was pleased to learn that an aspect of the old Cindry Fulfillment he knew and loved was still there. Cindry’s shop was ‘Cindry’s China and Crockery’ and she displayed several exquisite tea sets for sale, with intricate, colorful and delicate patterns, while Cindry herself enjoyed a cup of tea.
‘Willy, can I have thirteen dollars?’ Klaus heard a boy’s voice near him and turned his head to see a tall man eating a candy bar while a freckle-faced boy stood by him with a boxful of candy. ‘Of course, Charlie. What for?’ Said the man. Charlie, the boy smiled enthusiastically. ‘I want a kiss from that girl over there. I never kissed a girl, so I thought I’d buy a kiss from her. She’s so pretty!’ Willy, the man, frowned at hearing this. ‘Charlie, you can get any girl in this bazaar to kiss you. You don’t need to pay thirteen dollars for it. Now let’s go, I need to talk to Helena Burton about opening my candy shop at Burton’s Bazaar. I hope she’ll be reasonable this time. There’s no reason a Bazaar can’t have a candy stand, is there?’ Willy said, taking another bite from the candy bar. Then, Willy headed down the stairs which led to the lower section of the Bazaar, with Charlie in tow. ‘Poor thing.’ Klaus heard a familiar voice say. He turned his head and saw a gorgeous woman, dressed in an exquisite purple dress with a sophisticate purple hat and amethyst jewelry. She looked more beautiful than any woman Klaus had seen, but as soon as she spoke, Klaus recognized her. ‘When I was his age, I thought I’d never kiss anyone too. Amazing how much of a big deal everyone makes of their first kiss, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, Ed.’ Klaus said, recovering from the shock of beauty that had overtaken him. It was no woman that stood in that purple dress, it was Ed, who had shaved off his thin mustache and looked more like a woman than ever. Klaus hoped Ed failed to notice his blushing, which, in turn, Ed did. ‘Are you enjoying your stay at Burton’s Bazaar, Klaus?’ Ed asked. ‘Oh, yes. It’s a very interesting place.’ Ed smiled. ‘Oh, I have to go, my prop Octopus has fallen again. Cheerio!’ Ed moved away gracefully, in a very lady-like manner. Klaus turned his attention to the shops of Natalie, Nathan, Carmelita and Cindry, all the while organizing the books in Vincent’s tent, while Desmond and Jack discussed Halloween decorations, and how amazing it would be if it could be Halloween more than once a year.
Down at the lower section of the main Bazaar alley, Augusten showed Violet around the bazaar as well. ‘This is Ichabod’s shop, Investigatory Inventorium. It has all kinds of mechanical gadgets for proper investigation. Ichabod used to be in the police force, until he was sent away to a village in the north, where he met Katrina here, and they both returned to the City, but came to live here instead.’ Augusten said while the two approached Ichabod and Katrina’s tents. Ichabod’s tent was covered in all kinds of strange gadgets and devices that Violet would very much like to examine, but she knew there were other priorities. Katrina’s tent, however, was also very intriguing. All kinds of books involving magic and potions and several strange objects such as a golden triangle with a hollow triangular shape in the middle, four blue crystals, and other strange magical objects, including a crystal ball and a tarot deck. The smell of incenses was very strong and dominated the air around both tents as Ichabod’s tent was very close to Katrina’s. ‘Oh, Ichabod. This is Violet Baudelaire. She’s a talented young inventor. Maybe you two could discuss your inventions later.’ Augusten suggested. Ichabod, who was wearing a strange head device with several lenses and scopes on his head which made his eyes look enormous – not unlike the same head device Elizabeth Anwhistle sported when the Baudelaires first met her at Anwhistle Aquatics – was at first startled by their sudden arrival, but quickly recovered. ‘Oh, nice to meet you, miss Baudelaire. I always say, female inventors are way underrated.’ Violet smiled, not sure if that was a compliment. ‘Nice to meet you, but please, call me Violet.’ Ichabod smiled nervously. ‘I prefer Miss Baudelaire.’ And turned to whatever device he was working on at the moment, while a long-haired, blonde woman with dark brown eyes and a gorgeous stripped black and white dress, and a purple crystal pendant hanging above her cleavage approached Violet and Augusten. ‘Hello. I am Katrina Crane. You’ll have to forgive Ichabod, he gets nervous around strangers, specially females strangers.’ Katrina smiled, but Violet sensed something unnatural. Not being able to quite grasp what it was, she nervously smiled back at Katrina, who took Violet’s left hand in hers. ‘Would you like me to read your hand? It’ll just take a second.’
Violet was not too comfortable with the idea. In her comprehension, people who read hands always predicted catastrophe and Violet seriously did not need any more catastrophes in her already catastrophe of a life. There was also the experience with Madame Lulu, who made such an impression on Violet that – even though Madame Lulu was no Madame at all, and yes a fallen volunteer named Olivia Caliban - the eldest Baudelaire still felt uneasy about crystal balls and tarot and all that gypsy and magic related nonsense. Before she could say no, however, Katrina was already at it. ‘I predict…A reunion with a long lost loved one. A fleeting meeting, a desperate escape…A device to end all devices… You will be torn from the one you love once again. But he will find you…
someday.’ Katrina said, while carefully reading the lines on Violet’s palm. Before Katrina could predict anymore disasters, Violet removed her hand. ‘Thank you, Katrina. That was very…Um, interesting.’ Katrina smiled, then showed her own palm. Augusten took over. ‘Oh, of course, Katrina. Here it is.’ Augusten handed Katrina thirteen dollars. ‘Thank you Augusten. You should let me read your hand one of these days.’ Augusten laughed. ‘What for? So you can predict my grandmother’s death and the end of Burton’s Bazaar like last time?’ Katrina didn’t smile, and she merely stood in silence, next to Ichabod, as Augusten led Violet across the plaza.
There were two shops standing exactly opposite Katrina and Ichabod’s. In one of them, a pale dark haired man in a leather outfit with lots of belts and buckles cut the hair of a customer’s wife while a blonde woman put make up on the customer’s wife’s face. ‘Those are Kim and Edward. Please don’t confuse Ed with Edward. Under Ed’s make-up and female clothes, Ed and Edward look surprisingly like each other.’ Augusten approached Kim and Edward, just as they gave the finishing touches to the woman’s hair and make-up. ‘Oh, hello, Augusten.’ Said Edward, while receiving twenty-six dollars from the woman’s husband, and handing thirteen of them to Kim. ‘Care for a haircut?’ He said, holding two glimmering special custom made scissors in one hand. The scissors were the oddest kind Violet had ever seen. They were very long and sharp, and made it seem as if Edward’s fingers were scissor blades in an unsettling manner made even more unsettling in the fact that Edward handled them so fast and fearlessly. ‘Not today, Edward. Just showing this young lady around the Bazaar. This is Violet Baudelaire.’ Kim smiled at the sight of Violet. ‘Violet. With that name, you should be wearing more purple make-up. Want a makeover? I’ll make you a femme fatale with my cosmetics, you’ll be so beautiful men will throw themselves in front of you while you use them as a ladder to success.’ Kim said enthusiastically holding a powder puff. ‘I’d rather not stump on people, but thank you.’
‘Oh, come on, it’ll just take a second.’ Kim forcibly made Violet sit down on the chair and applied several cosmetics to Violet’s face, and before Violet could form a sentence, Kim was done. ‘Just look into this mirror, Violet.’ Violet looked into the mirror and for a moment, she thought a younger Esmé Squalor was looking back at her, but no, it was herself. While not a big fan of too much make-up, Violet had to admit Kim was a skilled make-up artist. She did look great, and if she could tone it down just a notch, Violet thought she could wear that to work everyday without the need of any men throwing themselves to serve as a sidewalk or a ladder.
‘Wow. You’re good at this.’ Violet said to Kim, who smiled and then looked eagerly at Augusten. ‘Thirteen dollars.’ Augusten said, handing Kim the thirteen dollars. ‘Care for a haircut too, miss?’ Edward said. ‘Oh, no thanks. I’m letting it grow, I guess.’ Violet said. She didn’t want to be near Edward’s large scissors. ‘Thank you, Kim, for making Violet’s loveliness even more lovely.’ Augusten said, while pulling Violet away from the odd couple of beauticians.
‘What exactly are we doing, Augusten?’ Violet whispered to him as they walked on the plaza at the middle of the lower section of the main alley of Burton’s Bazaar. Several customers and passers-by came and went. ‘I’m just curious as to what your thoughts are about our salespeople. What did you think of them?’ Augusten asked, leaning on the iron light bulb pole in the middle of the plaza. ‘I think they are all very strange in certain ways. I couldn’t exactly outline suspicions. I barely met them, I don’t think it’s right to draw conclusions about people so immediately. That’s prejudice.’ Violet said. ‘I understand. You haven’t met Victor or Todd yet, have you? Ah, you’ll meet them later. Not exactly like Todd is the very talkative type, either. He runs the Blue Beard Barber Parlor. Unlike all our stores, the parlor is reached by a staircase in the upper section, and is directly above Nellie’s Precious Pies shop.’
‘But, Violet, be honest with me…’ Augusten asked. It was really hard resisting his charm, Violet thought. ‘If you had to pick six of them…Who would you pick?’ Violet didn’t feel like answering the question, because she was afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, and thankfully, she didn’t have to, because apparently, Nathan, Natalie, Carmelita and Cindry were all done for the night, and descended to the lower plaza after closing their respective shops. If Violet and Augusten were to discover anything about their motives and a possible scheme, the time was now. When Natalie, Nathan, Carmelita and Cindry entered the adjacent alleyway that led to the warehouses and the dorms, Violet and Augusten followed them in, unsure of what would happen from now on.