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Post by allegedly bryan on Jul 10, 2012 22:52:43 GMT -5
I'm just going to write my own 667 fic and kill everyone. That was a joke. Was.Death List 5 1. F.D. Brilliant, I just saw the little interlude. I might relive Emma in 667land just to kill Bryan. 2. Linda Rahldeen ^ Same. Also, I'm kind of regretting already putting Bryan in my 667fic, because I want to kill him and I'm not sure how I'll be able to fit it into the framework of the story. 3. BSam! But that didn't stop Agent Coulson from appearing in the lift minutes later. "I said I wasn't here, go away." But swans yelled out "Bryan! Have a drink!" "I'm pretty sure his name is Agent, since when was he Bryan?" As an apology to Bryan for always killing him fics, I've decided to make him the title character in this retelling of Weekend at Burnies. I'll begin writing later, but I hope you enjoy it! Chapter 15 Bryans family wept as they buried him. He was the latest victim of the dreaded threadu. Will this horror never end? 4. Sixteen InterludeWhile the DeLorean was jumping through time, the lights on the dials flickered. The dates flashed and changed in front of Kensicle's eyes. Momentarily it changed to 2012 and the town square once again formed around the car. Kensicle was still travelling at 88 when she ran over someone. She yelped and smacked the dials which reset themselves, shooting off into the past. Luckily, this did nothing to change the cyberspace-time continuum as Bryan was destined to die anyway. 5. WillisBryan broke the silence by exclaiming “Hey, I have an idea. What if we all threaten to kill ourselves? They would have to stop the fight, and let us all free! It’s a perfect plan.” The other twenty three contestants looked at Bryan, and then looked around at each other. Could this work? Would Tragedy allow it? Then, as if on cue, every single contestant attacked Bryan. Arrows were shot into his chest at long range. Throwing knives pierced his body. Dante slashed off his right arm with a sword. Even a couple spears flew through the air and impaled him. He hit the ground, saying to himself “maybe next time I won’t spoil the Hunger Games in the comment section.” A cannon sounded to signal his death. The contestants scattered, not wanting to be the next one killed. -Old Klingon Proverb |
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Post by Shelly on Jul 10, 2012 22:57:42 GMT -5
My goodness.
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Post by BSam on Jul 10, 2012 23:02:24 GMT -5
I think I'm in love.
With Bryan.
In a proper manly way i mean.
I am dearly lookign forward to this fic.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2012 23:04:38 GMT -5
This is the most fantastic thing I've ever seen.
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Jul 10, 2012 23:16:56 GMT -5
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Post by Cafe SalMONAlla on Jul 11, 2012 1:53:32 GMT -5
 , yes, but also ;D, to my mind.
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Post by B. on Jul 11, 2012 2:29:21 GMT -5
I look forward to this immensely.
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Post by csc on Jul 11, 2012 11:24:36 GMT -5
This is amazing. Can't believe I'm in the top of the list, though. Alright, I had it coming.
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Post by Hermes on Jul 11, 2012 11:35:50 GMT -5
This is wonderful. This is amazing. Can't believe I'm in the top of the list, though. Alright, I had it coming. I suspect the list is in reverse order, i.e. the most terrible death will come at the end. |
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Post by csc on Jul 11, 2012 11:43:57 GMT -5
Oh, good. I laughed at all the BSam quotes.
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Post by BSam on Jul 11, 2012 14:56:37 GMT -5
If the list corresponds with the actual, I'm Budd, the alcoholic redneck. and Willis is Bill.
the rest of you are women.
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Post by allegedly bryan on Jul 11, 2012 23:29:47 GMT -5
Yeah, genders of some of the movie's characters had to be compromised. Including my own.
------------------
Introduction
There was a labored breathing coming from a small wedding chapel in a small town in Texas. The echoing gasps were coming from a man shuddering on the floor, with his face covered in blood.
The atmosphere was only broken by footsteps echoing around the dead silent room. Slowly, the owner of these footsteps reached his victim.
"Now, I'd like to believe, even now, you're aware enough to know there isn't a trace of sadism in my actions," the man said, swatting his victims bloody face with a handkerchief elegantly embroidered "Willis". "Okay, maybe to all of these other jokers, but not to you. No, this is me at my most... masochistic."
"Gross," the victim managed to shudder.
The room reverted to its original tense silence. This silence was quickly broken once again, this time by the sound of a gun being cocked and loaded.
"Willis..." the victim, who from here on will be known as "The Bryd," managed. "It's your baby-"
BANG! The gunshot echoed around the chapel.
"...What?" Willis asked his target, having missed out of shock.
"Okay that was a lie. But I do have your beard-"
BANG!
This time Willis did not miss.
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Post by Kensicle on Jul 11, 2012 23:39:59 GMT -5
Heh, heh. The Bryd, eh? I liked the baby part. Um, keep your tense consistent. But other that, I like it. Intriguing. (I've already used that word in the other thread. Oh well.)
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Post by csc on Jul 11, 2012 23:44:13 GMT -5
Hah, The Bryd. Can't wait for the first chapter.
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Post by allegedly bryan on Jul 13, 2012 3:27:13 GMT -5
Right, thanks Kensicle. And didn't someone ask my gender in this? ...Was it Bee? Well anyway I'm a guy. I get your confusion though. In the movie it's a woman and I'm called the Bryd. Anyway... -------------- Chapter 1
"2"
Part 1 Fast forward four years. A bright yellow van emblazoned with the words "Schlong Mobile" pulled up in front of the sidewalk next to an average looking building in Pasadena, California. The driver looked at the family history center for a moment, knowing what was about to come, then opened the door of the van. The Bryd got out, walked to the front door, and knocked. "Hermes, I already told you, I can't find any information on parents or grandparents. It seems that you were literally the first of your family from centuries ago..." the woman inside the center trailed off when she opened the door and looked into the face of her visitor. The Bryd's brain was immediately flooded by an onslaught of memories from his fateful wedding day. He remembered the woman rushing in with Willis and the rest of the Deadly 667 assassination squad, and distinctly recalled her magee slapping him upon her arrival, then watching as he lay on the ground, completely helpless. Now The Bryd didn't even hesitate to magee slap the woman back with all his might. "Payback, bi-" The Bryd taunted until he was cut off by the woman, who lifted him up over her head and promptly threw him against one of the history center's glass tables, shattering it. She ran over and attempted to stomp on his pristine face, but he grabbed her foot and threw her back onto another one of the center's glass tables, shattering this one as well. He rushed to stand over her. "Payback, bi-" he tried again, but was cut off by a shard of glass the woman pulled out of her side and stabbed into The Bryd's leg. The Bryd jumped back in pain, and the woman jumped to her feet to thrust another glass shard at him. The Bryd managed to dodge it, but consequently tripped over and shattered another of the center's glass tables. He grabbed hold of a broken table leg and tried to fend off his attacker, but the skills she gained through recreational knife fighting were difficult to overcome. Thankfully the history center was abundant in glass tables. The woman tripped and shattered a table only to advance upon The Bryd, who, in turn, tripped and shattered a table. So continued the tripping and shattering until they ran out of tables, and The Bryd managed to club at the woman's knife fighting hand with his table leg. He managed to get her into a headlock, and was able to utter the words "payback, biiiiiii-" for a third time before the woman grabbed hold of one of the center's glass chairs and shattered it over The Bryd's head. He fell to the ground, but just as she ran at him he kicked her square in the chest, knocking her into one of the many filing cabinets littered about the center. Before he could move though, the woman tipped the cabinet over right on top of him. Knowing this was her chance, she ran over to her desk and grabbed the knife she had won the knife fighting regional championship with out of her top drawer. As she did so, The Bryd, thinking fast, pulled himself out from under the cabinet and opened a nearby filing cabinet drawer. He rifled through the files, and eventually, in one marked " Dave-Cousins," found a knife. He turned around just in time to see the woman primed to attack him. He jumped backwards, dodging her. The Bryd raised his arm and pointed his knife at the woman as she mirrored him. And so they stood, face to face, leg to leg, arm to arm, knife to cousin, with the woman occasionally advancing on The Bryd. "We really got to do this now? My daughter'll be home soon," the woman remarked. "It's payback biiiiiiiii-" The Bryd began, repeating a joke that's probably not that funny anymore and savoring every second of it. Immediately though, he was drowned out by the sound of a school bus pulling up in front of the research center. "Please-" the woman said. |
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