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Post by B. on Jul 23, 2012 3:38:50 GMT -5
Oh, wonderful!
Wait, who's the father, then?
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Post by Christmas Chief on Jul 23, 2012 6:45:09 GMT -5
Nice! I haven't seen Kill Bill, but I know the basic story line. The casual conversation blended with assassination attempts was executed perfectly.
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Post by allegedly bryan on Jul 23, 2012 17:13:45 GMT -5
Haha thanks everyone Oh Bryan, you are priceless. I don't get the random "Call Me Maybe" excerpt and shopping list in Chinese, though. Yeah that didn't really translate well. I said something like "in the this part of the movie the narrator says something profound in Chinese. So here's my shopping list: butter, milk, eggs, lettuce, whiskey." Then I wanted it to be longer so I added lines from call me maybe. Oh, wonderful! Wait, who's the father, then? Doesn't matter. It can be you. Edit: No it can't. Because you're actually in it. As Brunch though. Later. Also if anyone hasn't seen kill bill but wants to you may or may not be able to see the original uncut Japanese version on Vimeo where I may or may not have seen it: vimeo.com/33460146 |
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Post by B. on Jul 24, 2012 2:44:55 GMT -5
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Post by Kensicle on Jul 24, 2012 6:01:59 GMT -5
Haha thanks everyone Oh Bryan, you are priceless. I don't get the random "Call Me Maybe" excerpt and shopping list in Chinese, though. Yeah that didn't really translate well. I said something like "in the this part of the movie the narrator says something profound in Chinese. So here's my shopping list: butter, milk, eggs, lettuce, whiskey." Then I wanted it to be longer so I added lines from call me maybe. Oh, okay. By the way, is Fredy dead already? |
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Post by BSam on Jul 24, 2012 7:27:14 GMT -5
time jumps around in the film a bit. so who knows
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Post by Sixteen on Jul 27, 2012 9:05:42 GMT -5
LOLOL
I haven't seen this until now but I love it so much.
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Post by allegedly bryan on Jul 30, 2012 3:20:02 GMT -5
Finally, I have more -------------- Chapter Two
The Blood-Spattered BRYD
Part 1 Four years and six months earlier in the city of El Paso, Texas, bodies were strewn about the inside of a small wedding chapel. Cops and sheriffs shuffled in between them. Not far away though, driving up the road, was the Texas Ranger, The Anonymous Narrator. He was on his way to inspect the recent massacre. As he pulled up to the chapel, he was met by his co-sheriff or assistant-cop or something, Colette. "Never fear mortals, the inter-dimensional time-traveling detective or whatever is here," The Anonymous Narrator announced. "So, tell me, how bad is it?" "Not nice. Very bad," Colette replied. "People have guns and get shot to die. Many not live and are die." The two walked towards the chapel's door. "How many are dead?" The Anonymous Narrator asked. "High number no live die," said Colette, "and many die too." "That many, huh?" he asked as he entered the chapel. "Sorry, is my opinion," said Colette, "but many die. Seems like someone no happy in the marriage and go kill kill. Was maybe pedophilia. Say, what you think of pedophilia?" she asked. "I have no idea what you're saying," The Anonymous Narrator answered, "but this reminds me of the quantum loop in the second dimension when the plant on Zorgon attacked the Nargat natives." "I no know what you say either," said Colette. "Sorry but is my opinion." "Regardless," said The Anonymous Narrator, " I deduce that this was either the work of four or five skilled assassins, or the enemies that are following me from the other dimensions." "How you know which is?" asked Colette. "I'll go check the other dimensions," The Anonymous Narrator exclaimed. He ran under one of the church pews and hid there with his eyes closed making punching sound effects for a while. Then he ran out and yelled, "I have gone back in time and vanquished my enemies from the past, so they can't have been responsible for this! It must have been trained assassins." "Or pedophilia?" asked Colette. "Nope just assassins." "Sorry," she said, "pedophilia is my opinion, forgive me." "Whatever," said The Anonymous Narrator. "So, where's the groom?" "There," said Colette, pointing at a man on the floor whose face was covered in blood. "Name on marriage certificate no real, so we just call him 'The Bryd' on account of we good at puns." "Hm," said The Anonymous Narrator. "You can tell he was unshaven before he got shot. You must be crazy to shoot such an attractive man," he continued, kneeling over The Bryd's body. "Seriously. He is insanely attractive, and even I'll admit it. If anyone could get me to switch teams, or change my views on traditional marriage, it would be him." Then, with a sudden start, The Bryd spat at The Anonymous Narrator's face. And then winked. "Colette," The Anonymous Narrator said. "This man isn't yet dead." ---------- |
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Post by B. on Jul 30, 2012 3:42:00 GMT -5
This is so good.  |
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Post by BSam on Jul 30, 2012 4:04:22 GMT -5
No wonder I gave up on updating my fics, they just don't compare to this.
Also I'm bloody lazy.
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Post by csc on Jul 30, 2012 13:10:30 GMT -5
"Sorry, is my opinion," said Colette, "but many die. Seems like someone no happy in the marriage and go kill kill. Was maybe pedophilia. Say, what you think of pedophilia?" she asked. "I have no idea what you're saying," The Anonymous Narrator answered, "but this reminds me of the quantum loop in the second dimension when the plant on Zorgon attacked the Nargat natives." This chapter was HILARIOUS. The whole way Colette speaks and the pedophilia thing, oh man. I laughed out loud many times. |
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Post by Hermes on Jul 30, 2012 13:56:30 GMT -5
Oh gosh. I haven't been following this, because I don't know the film, and the story seems to rely rather heavily on it, but seeing Pen's comment made me check out this episode, and it's amazing.
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Post by allegedly bryan on Jul 30, 2012 14:02:16 GMT -5
Haha thanks. I'm trying to make it so you don't have to have seen the movie to get it for the most part. If you want to see the movie I put a link to where you can see it online for free higher up on this page somewhere. If you want to see it.
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Post by allegedly bryan on Jul 30, 2012 18:23:43 GMT -5
Whatttt already another part. And probably a third up later today or early tomorrow. Or maybe not. ------------------ Chapter Two
The Blood-Splattered BRYD
Part 2 The Bryd, unconscious, was lying in a bed in a dim room in a large hospital. Rain hammered the window pane outside. A man wearing an eyepatch walked through the front entrance of the hospital, whistling a tune that was contrastingly cheerful with the dark, gloomy, and mostly empty hospital hallways. He walked right past the front desk without anyone caring while waving a folded umbrella, continuing to whistle as he walked. The man's shoes made echoing clacking noises on the floor of the hospital. The man entered a bathroom in an empty hallway, changing into a nurses outfit. Getting out a skirt, he cross-dressed quickly, even changing his eyepatch to one with a medical symbol on it. In the bathroom, he also filled a syringe with a dark red liquid. He then exited and made his way towards The Bryd's room, his now high-heeled shoes making even louder clacking noises. He reached a door, and stared through its glass window at The Bryd. This cross dresser's name was Sixteen, and he was a member of the Deadly 667 Assassination Squad. His code name was "Androgynous Cobra." Sixteen opened the door and approached the bed The Bryd was in. "I might never have liked you," he started. "Point in fact, I despise you... But that shouldn't suggest that I don't respect you." Sixteen began to insert the needle of the syringe into The Bryd's IV line. "Dying in our sleep is... A luxury that our kind is rarely afforded." Sixteen prepared to inject the poison into The Bryd's line. "My gift, to you," he said. Suddenly, his phone rang. "God dammit," he said. "Hello, Willis." "What's his condition?" Willis asked from the other side of the phone, while messing with the handle of a sword. "Comatose," answered Sixteen. "You're really bad at shooting people." "Shut up. Where is he?" "I'm standing over him right now." "Good," said Willis. "One thing though." "What?" Sixteen asked. "Don't kill him. Kay baiiiiiii..." "WHAT?" Sixteen shouted. "Look," said Willis. "You all beat the hell out of him, and I tried to shoot him, but he's still alive. To kill him in his sleep would be cowardly, don't you think?" "... I guess," Sixteen answered. "If he wakes up though we'll probably just kill him then." "... Fine." "Good," said Willis. "Now go on home." He hung up. " I love you toooo," Sixteen whispered. He hung up and turned around to look at The Bryd. "Thought that was pretty potato in' funny, didn't ya?" he asked. The Bryd didn't answer. Because he was in a coma. "Word of advice, salsa head. Don't you ever wake up." Sixteen sassily flipped his hair and strolled out of the room. The Bryd wasn't intimidated though because he was incredibly brave. Also he was in a coma so he didn't know what was happening. ------------- |
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Post by Shelly on Jul 30, 2012 22:24:50 GMT -5
Also he was in a coma so he didn't know what was happening. Favourite line. And yeah I haven't seen it but I know the basics. |
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