Kill Will(is) Vol I.

[allegedly bryan]

Aug 7, 2012 12:43:02 GMT -5 Linda Rhaldeen said:

I love the Bryd's amazing body.

Thanks everyone! The next part may take a while to get together. It's... Uh... Special.

[Linda Rhaldeen]

Oh you.

[thenarrator]

Jul 30, 2012 3:20:02 GMT -5 allegedly bryan said:

Finally, I have more
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Chapter Two
The Blood-Spattered BRYD
Part 1

Four years and six months earlier in the city of El Paso, Texas, bodies were strewn about the  inside of a small wedding chapel. Cops and sheriffs shuffled in between them.

Not far away though, driving up the road, was the Texas Ranger, The Anonymous Narrator. He was on his way to inspect the recent massacre. As he pulled up to the chapel, he was met by his co-sheriff or assistant-cop or something, Colette.

"Never fear mortals, the inter-dimensional time-traveling detective or whatever is here," The Anonymous Narrator announced. "So, tell me, how bad is it?"

"Not nice. Very bad," Colette replied. "People have guns and get shot to die. Many not live and are die." The two walked towards the chapel's door.

"How many are dead?" The Anonymous Narrator asked.

"High number no live die," said Colette, "and many die too."

"That many, huh?" he asked as he entered the chapel.

"Sorry, is my opinion," said Colette, "but many die. Seems like someone no happy in the marriage and go kill kill. Was maybe pedophilia. Say, what you think of pedophilia?" she asked.

"I have no idea what you're saying," The Anonymous Narrator answered, "but this reminds me of the quantum loop in the second dimension when the plant on Zorgon attacked the Nargat natives."

"I no know what you say either," said Colette. "Sorry but is my opinion."

"Regardless," said The Anonymous Narrator, " I deduce that this was either the work of four or five skilled assassins, or the enemies that are following me from the other dimensions."

"How you know which is?" asked Colette.

"I'll go check the other dimensions," The Anonymous Narrator exclaimed. He ran under one of the church pews and hid there with his eyes closed making punching sound effects for a while. Then he ran out and yelled, "I have gone back in time and vanquished my enemies from the past, so they can't have been responsible for this! It must have been trained assassins."

"Or pedophilia?" asked Colette.

"Nope just assassins."

"Sorry," she said, "pedophilia is my opinion, forgive me."

"Whatever," said The Anonymous Narrator. "So, where's the groom?"

"There," said Colette, pointing at a man on the floor whose face  was covered in blood. "Name on marriage certificate no real, so we just call him 'The Bryd' on account of we good at puns."

"Hm," said The Anonymous Narrator. "You can tell he was unshaven before he got shot. You must be crazy to shoot such an attractive man," he continued, kneeling over The Bryd's body. "Seriously. He is insanely attractive, and even I'll admit it. If anyone could get me to switch teams, or change my views on traditional marriage, it would be him."

Then, with a sudden start, The Bryd spat at The Anonymous Narrator's face. And then winked.

"Colette," The Anonymous Narrator said. "This man isn't yet dead."
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Let's just say the Narrator No Longer Exists.....here anyways

[allegedly bryan]

Oh my gad this took forever
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Chapter Three
The Origin of F-Pen
Part 1

F-Pen Dshii, or Pen for short, was born on a Brazilian military base in Tokyo, Japan. The half Japanese, half Chinese-Brazilian army brat made his first acquaintance with death at the age of nine. It was at that age that he witnessed the death of his parents at the hands of Japan's ruthless Yakuza boss, Boss Kobolos-Moto.

Young Pen, under his parents instruction, hid under the bed when the three of them heard Kobolos-Moto and four of his cronies, J, Shruti, Dear Dairy, and Alice Wilde, coming. Pen, still hiding, looked on as Kobolos-moto strode into the room. The three cronies rushed onto Pen's parents, and Kobolos-Moto strode over to Pen's father's chair and lit a cigar. Pen watched as his mother, Violet Marie, was held at knife-point by J. He also saw his father, Songdrib, paused in motion as he was preparing to fight Alice.

Alice made the first move, thrusting her knife straight at Songdrib's head. He dodged it, and grabbed her arm. She kicked him and he lost hold, but he managed to grab her upper arm when she came at him with the knife again, and from there he put her into a headlock. She got out, and came at him with the knife again. He ducked, pushing her backwards into the wall. Also he ripped off her head, or avatar or whatever, as he shouted a war cry.

Then, suddenly, Dear Dairy rushed forward, poised to attack. Before she could, he said "Hey I just ate some jelly beans, ask me if you want to know the color." She got that it was a joke but it didn't work so she killed herself. While Songdrib was looking disappointed, Shruti spotted his (her? I dunno these four people.) chance. S/He attacked, pushing the "play" button on his/her radio.

As he bled out through his ears, he fell to his knees next to the bed, then fell forward onto the ground. As his eyes or stars or whatever met with young Pen's from his hiding place, he whispered his last words to him.

And he did. Now though, Kobolos-Moto got up out of Songdrib's chair, threw his cigar to the ground, and walked over to the restrained Violet Marie.

"Please..." she whispered in prayer. "With Regina Spektor as my lord and savior, please let me be okay..."

Kobolos-Moto just laughed. "Hahahaha!" He grabbed her and threw her onto the bed, laughing the whole way. Then, without hesitation, he removed his pants and impaled her with his sword.

What? No. Don't be gross. He literally did that.

As he stuck it inside of her (that wasn't even on purpose), the sword came (neither was that) all the way through the bottom of the bed, nearly impaling Pen as well (that was). Everything was quiet for a moment. Then, suddenly, Pen saw it. Violet Marie's blood began to soak through the roof of his hiding place, the bottom of the bed. There was no red liquid though, no. That was because his mother was so indie as, that she bled vinyls. As the Sufjan Stevens records began to shower down upon him, Pen cried. His two indie as parents, now both dead...

Just as Kobolos-Moto, Shruti, and J were leaving, Shruti shot and broke a bottle of alcohol that was on Songdrib's desk next to his Neutral Milk Hotel albums. Of course it was Pabst Blue Ribbon though. Anyway, because he was a huuuuuuuuuge dick, Shruti kicked Kobolos-moto's still smoldering cigar butt into the hipster juice. The house immediately set ablaze.

Pen, waiting until Kobolos-Moto and his cronies left, barely escaped the fire. Now outside and staring at his burning house, Pen swore two things. One, he really would remain indie as, and two, he would get his revenge.

Lucky for him, Boss Kobolos-Moto was a pedophile.

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[Shelly]

Amazing.

And I like your drawings.

[Deleted]

You have absolutely outdone yourself.

[B.]

What an amazing chapter to come home from school to. This was well worth the wait.

Let's just say the Narrator No Longer Exists.....here anyways

And I'm still sad about this.

[BSam]

a work of potato ing art

[BSam]

also i love how you don't know shruti's gender

[thenarrator]

Aug 24, 2012 10:17:15 GMT -5 B. said:

What an amazing chapter to come home from school to. This was well worth the wait.

Let's just say the Narrator No Longer Exists.....here anyways

And I'm still sad about this.

Well the Narrator still does. I'm just not using that tag line.

[allegedly bryan]

Aug 24, 2012 10:30:43 GMT -5 BSam said:

also i love how you don't know shruti's gender

But really though what is it? I couldn't even find him on the member's list

Or her.

[Hermes]

The person formerly known as shruti is now called simply s (original username SetnicK). Their gender is undeclared.

I still don't understand this story, but your drawings are wonderful.

[allegedly bryan]

Ah okay. That makes sense.
And thanks, haha. If you want to understand, the wikipedia plot summary is pretty short and helpful.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_Bill_Volume_1

[Linda Rhaldeen]

Awesome Also, the person formerly known as Shruti now goes by the name Sloka and identifies as male.

[csc]

This is pure brilliance. The drawings are amazing too, Bryan.
edit: Really amazing. If you did those on Paint, you're my hero.