The Revived 667er - Edition One
Feb 1, 2015 15:00:44 GMT -5
Cafe SalMONAlla, Charlie, and 5 more like this
Post by Isadora Is a Door on Feb 1, 2015 15:00:44 GMT -5
Original Idea by Akbar Le Grey
They say that writing a book is like giving birth. If that's true, the this was like giving birth to 8 babies at once. It was all going well util my laptop died about 30 hours ago ad there seemed like there would be no possible to way to put this issue together. But now here I am and here it is. The First Issue of the Revived Revived 667er. But i'll just call it the revived 667er for simplicity's sake. So, I think this would Be a good time to introduce the new Staff
Editor - Mister M
Wait, what? How did this happen??
Co-Editor - Anka Awhistle M
The brains behind the operation. Also good at correctin typen misatkes.
Designer - Lemona Snicket
The Australian girl with a lot of sass and a lot of nails. She's done a helluva lot of work so everybody lets give her a round of applause
Art Editor - Terry Crai
He makes art. He also threatened to quit if I gave pandora a column. One of those statements is a lie. Bonus points if you can work out which it is.
Gawky Editor - Charles 'Charlie' Snicket
He doesn't do anything, but He said he will sue if i don't credit him somewhere, so there it is.
So Hey. Here we are. The Start of a brand new era of the 667er. There is some stuff this issue. Lemona has a rant, Sophie has some Poems, Pen has some advice, Bandit went to the theater (and nobody payed him to), Somebody is the guest writer, Charlie will blow your mind with some k-pop stuff, There's a cool announcement about Daniel handlers birthday, and someone very cool is taking over the power rankings. You do not want to miss that.
If all goes to plan there will be a new issue every four weeks. If you're interested in contributing then PM me or one of the staff members.
But enough rambling. LETS PET ON WITH IT!!!
- Mister M
Thanks This Issue to : Anka Anwhistle M, Bandit, Terry Craig, Akbar Le Grey, Dante Rubens, Pandora, Pen, Charlie Snicket, Lemona Snicket, Sophie
I couldn't decide whether or not to start the issue count from 1 or not, If you dont aree with my decision then ah well, too late.
I couldn't decide whether or not to start the issue count from 1 or not, If you dont aree with my decision then ah well, too late.
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The Dilemma of Recurrent Unconscious Usage of the Style of Communication that Obfuscates
“Weasel words” is an informal term used to describe unnecessarily opaque writing or speech. Intentionally or otherwise, they obscure meaning. They are waffle or guff, and the opposite of clarity.
Apparently the idea is that weasels can suck the contents out of eggs without crushing the shell, so post-weasel eggs look like regular eggs, but are empty. Weasel words look alright, but have no solid meaning. There’s some controversy about who coined the term; it might have been Theodore Roosevelt, it might have been a person who wrote satire for the Century Magazine in 1900, and it might have been the mobile nebula that slithers through time creating phrases out of nowhere.
Anyway, while politicians, bureaucrats and advertisers are all criticised for using deliberate weasel words to confuse people or hide lies, I am here to rant about a much more preventable example.
Accidental weasel words. 100% pure accidental weasel words. They come up all the time in business communication. I’ve seen them in written instructions on how to enrol sent to me by an educational institution I’m studying at this year, and in letters from phone and internet providers. The words chosen are long, formal sounding, confusingly arranged, and there are way too many of them.
Here’s a rather nice example from the British Department of Education. Ready yourself: “Where a pupil is unable to complete a SAT due to his absence from school… if in the opinion of his head teacher he has not done enough work as aforesaid, the levels of attainment determined by the teacher assessment shall be the levels for the purpose of article 7 unless the local education authority (in the case of a pupil at a school which the authority maintains) or SEAC (in the case of a pupil at a grant-maintained school) disagree, in which case the levels of attainment shall be such as the local authority or SEAC determine by reference to the work the pupil has done on the SAT in question.”
Yeah. To add to the fun, this was apparently part of a document sent out to clarify some previous information. Of course.
I don’t think the department’s use of weasel words was deliberate. I guess it might have been, but it’s much more likely that the writer had no potatoing clue of how to set out the information clearly. It was all one sentence, in case you didn’t notice.
It’s possible that people who use waffle accidental are unconsciously repeating the style of writing or speech that they commonly hear, without questioning whether it’s actually the most clear or correct option.
A lot of the time, accidental weasel words also come from insecurity; from feeling that what you’re saying isn’t formal enough if you don’t dress it up. Bullsalsa. Generally, waffling formal is only going to get people looking at you weirdly. And get Lemona writing rants. Weirdly.
And now it’s time for everyones favourite advice-giver to give some advice!

"Dear Pen,
Responsibilities are encroaching upon me. How do I deal/escape?
Yours, Person Upon Whom Responsibilities Are Encroaching."
Dear Person Upon Whom Responsibilities Are Encroaching,
I find myself in a similar position. I’m starting school again this week and boy will this year be a rough one. I’m supposed to get into a good college and to do so I’ll go through a series of rigorous exams. And the preparation for those is just as tough. My way of dealing with it is by making a schedule. Once I’ve got all my responsibilities listed out in a neat little to-do list, it doesn’t seem as overwhelming. Sometimes you get trapped in your own head and start thinking of all the things you have to do and you barely know where to start. Turns out, that’s the worst of it. If you only figure out where to start and where to go from there, I promise you, everything will seem much clearer.
Best of luck,
Pen.
"Dear Pen,
Recently I accidentally saw somebody whose art blog I've been following, but didn't say anything. Should I have mentioned I was following their blog even though I didn't have much else to say?
Regards, Hopeless Introvert"
Dear Hopeless Introvert,
Well, I don’t mean to drive you into a spiral of regret, but my answer has to be yes. For a couple of reasons. First of all, I’m sure that the author of that art blog wouldn’t mind it that you didn’t have much to say. Most of the time, artists are very appreciative to receive positive feedback, and having a fan recognize you on the street? That’s got to mean something to them. I’m not sure how popular of an artist this person is, but in any case, if you come across a similar opportunity in the future, a lack of things to say is not something you need to be worrying about. Second of all, I understand how paralyzing social anxiety can be, but you should try your best not to let it get in the way of what you want to accomplish. These little “what-ifs” can be really damaging. If this is something you’re really struggling with, you should not feel ashamed of seeking help- professional or otherwise.
Best of luck,
Pen.
"Dear Pen,
I don't know if i'm any good at being editor. What do you think?
Regards, Editor"
Dear Mr. M,
I’m not sure yet. I guess I’ll just have to wait until this edition of the 667er is posted to find out. You did do a good job at getting me all these questions, though I’m not sure if you just wrote them all anonymously. It's still a commendable effort.
Best of luck,
Pen.
"Dear Pen,
I am your biggest fan and I really love your advice column. I want to send you a question every day, but I don't know what to ask you. I just don't have enough problems. What can I do?"
Dear Anonymous Person with an (Allegedly) Perfect Life,
I’m certainly dubious about your lack of problems. I mean, how well (or sane, for that matter) can a person who cares this much about an advice column on the 667er be? And to be willing to find or get into problems just so you can send me, a person you have never met, questions on a daily basis? Yes, that all seems very troubling to me. I think a psychiatrist could help you uncover some of those issues you’re looking for.
Best of luck,
Pen.
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Mister M looked up at the tall, powerful building that rose from where he stood far into the clouds. Even though his eyesight was bad, he was sure even a normal sighted person would be unable to see the very top of the building, that’s how tall it was. And now it was his. He felt the keys in his hand, and lowered his head to look at the glass front doors. Very posh.
He put the key into the lock and opened it, and found himself in the lobby. It was completely empty, nobody had been in here for a while, and it felt strange to be standing here after all that time, especially on his own. It was like entering a haunted house, except it wasn't a house, and it wasn’t haunted, but still Mister M felt a little on the back of his neck.
He went over to the fit, and headed straight to the top floor. That was the best place to start, he thought.
The elevator stopped and the doors slid open, and Mister M found himself face to face with a man in a long beige coat holding a broom.
‘AAH,’ said Mister M and he stood back, lost his balance, and fell over.
‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ said the man, ‘did I scare you?’
‘...Yes, of course you did,’ said Mister M ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Cleaning,’ said the man, as if that should be obvious. Which it should have been, as he was celarer the caretaker.
‘You’re still working here, even after all this time?’
‘Yep.’
‘Is Charlie still paying you?’
The man smiled ‘Not as such, we have an…. agreement, let's put it that way.’
‘Well I guess you can still work here then.’
‘I guess so.’ He pointed to a door down a corridor ‘Your office is there, by the way. It still doesn't look too good in there, I'm sorry. But I've been very busy.’
‘Okay.’ M pulled himself up off the floor. ‘Well I guess I'll see you around then.’
The caretaker stepped into the lift, pressed a button, and a few moments later he was gone. Mister M turned and walked down the corridor.
When he opened the door, he saw what state the office was in. There were a few small tables around, but they were all broken and charred, and all the ceiling and walls were coated in cobwebs. Half finished copies of the magazines were strewn everywhere, and the room smelt like burnt toast. Or burnt something.
Mister M went over to the front desk and put his suitcase down on the table. He picked up the small nameplate that siad ‘Charles Snicket - Editor’ and threw it in the bin. He brushed the dust off of the chair and sat down.
It was time.
The first place Mister M went was the park. He liked the park. He liked the fresh air, and the squirrels, but he wasn't too keen on the people. But he wasn’t there for the fresh air, or the squirrels, and definitely not the people. He was there for the lake.
He sat down on a bench next to the lake and looked out. There was a girl swimming in the lake, and the girl was why he was there.
‘Hey,’ he shouted to the girl.
‘Quack,’ she replied.
‘What are you doing?’ he asked her.
‘I’m a duck,’ she replied, ’and ducks swim in lakes.
Mister M smiled. ’Can you still spell?’
‘Yes’ said Anka ‘Ducks are very good at spelling.'
‘Good. Then I have a job for you.’
Terry’s art studio looked like an ordinary building from the outside, but inside is a mess of colour and noise. It was a mess of colour because Terry was throwing paint everywhere at random moments, and it was a mess of noise because he also insisted on playing his hipster music at increasingly loud volumes.
When Mister M had spent an hour knocking on the door with Terry failing to hear, he tried the handle, and it opened on its own. He walked inside and saw Terry laying fast asleep in a chair. Mister M walked over and turned the music off. He stepped in some paint, and now he had red shoes.
‘TERRY,’ he shouted.
‘Whaatter?’ said Terry, refusing to wake from his sleep.
‘TERRY CRAIG, I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU!’
‘Bud i don wannnaotoscool.’
Lemona Snicket was awfully busy. She was designing an areoplane, something that was timidly difficult and tremendously time consuming. So when Mister M arrived, at first she wasn't sure if she even had time to talk to him.
‘Hey,’ she said, ‘I’m sorry but I'm kind of busy right now.’
‘Doing what?’
‘Im designing.’
‘Designing what?’
‘Buildings, chairs, mobile phones. Anything. I just love designing.’
‘Well then,’ said Mister M, ‘I’ve got a treat for you.'
‘What?’
‘I’m, putting together a team of people. The brightest and the best... That I could get at short notice anyway.‘
‘Who?‘ she asked.
‘Well there's me, obviously. Anka, also obviously. There's Terry, and I’m waiting to hear back from someone, and then there's… you.‘
‘What do you want me to do?‘ said Lemona. She was very glad she had decided to talk to him.
A few days later, and Mister M, Anka, Terry, and Lemona were all standing on the top floor of the 667er building. The caretaker had done a good job of clearing up the office, and work had now finally begun on the first issue. After a long day’s work of brainstorming ideas for the next issue Mister M told the other three to go home and get a good night's rest.
So, Mister M was sat at his desk thinking about who could take over the power rankings column, and the caretaker was busy fixing the leg of a broken table.
Then the phone rang, and Mister M answered.
‘Hey,’ said a voice.
'Umm… hey?’ replied Mister M ‘Who is this?’
‘It’s me,’ said the voice
‘And who are you?’
'It’s Charlie,’ said Charlie.
‘Oh,’ said Mister M, surprised, ‘hey.’
‘How’s it going? The 667er?’
‘It’s okay I guess. I got some people to help me.’
‘Oh, that’s good.’ Charlie sounded slightly sad for a moment, but then he cheerily replied. ‘Who? Tell me, tell me!’
‘Well there's Anka and Terry, Lemona is the designer...’
‘Oh that’s great.’
‘And I had some cool ideas for this. Bandit could have this -’
‘Listen,’ said Charlie, ‘I have to go. But I’m hoping to stop back it down soon. And I was wondering something.‘
There was a short silence. ‘Well what?’ asked Mister M.
‘I was wondering if you’d like my help?’
Mister M smiled, even though Charlie couldn't see. ‘Charlie, I’d be honored.’
‘Thanks, cool. But I have to go. Seeya!’ And Charlie hung up.
Mister M put down the phone. ‘Bye,’ he said to himself.
He stood up from the desk and picked up his suitcase, careful not to knock the new nameplate off of the desk. He stood up and walked over to the door.
‘Are you going home now, Sir?’ asked the caretaker, who had finished repairing the leg and was now busy attempting to remove more of the cobwebs.
‘Please, don’t call me Sir. And yes, I am.’
‘Do you want me to lock up?’
‘I'd like that, yes.’
‘What time will you be in tomorrow?’
‘Same time as always’ said Mister M, pressing the button for the elevator ‘Same time as always.’
‘Okay.’ The caretaker smiled ‘Thanks Mister M.’
He stepped into the elevator, and pressed the button for the round floor, and said ‘Thanks, Mr. Le Grey.’
And now for something a little different...
If you are a 667er well versed in your knowledge of me, you may recall that my favourite girl group is the one and only Orange Caramel
So all of you reading are prolly like about as excited as Nana evidently is here, but that's ok, bc soon you'll be proper excited ok.
Okay so first some basics. If you took the Powerpuff Girls, but instead of adding chemical X you added polka dots and giant bows, you would end up with Orange Caramel. Infact I dunno if you even need to add the polka dots, I'm pretty sure they're just magnetically attracted to them.
Figure A- note how the polka dots cling to Orange Caramel, and this one chick in the foreground, but are not anywhere else in the image.
If you break down Orange Caramel into its constituent parts you have:
Raina-
Raina is the leader of Orange Caramel, a total boss singer, and a master of all things cute.
Nana-
Nana is the lead dancer of Orange Caramel, but is also a rocking model, and queen of not actually giving a salsa about anything.
Lizzy-
Lizzy is the lead rapper of Orange Caramel, is their youngest member, and is perfectly delightful in every way imaginable.
Now you have the lowdown, we head into the bigger picture, which is basically that, Lizzy has released a solo single, and it's as marvellous as could be expected (ie. very).
Without further ado, here it is in all its resplendence!
If you were like "yeah okay" well watch it again because you're wrong, everything about this is amazing.
The story of the music video is based on the classical korean story of chunhyang who was all like "no way don't touch me I don't like you" which in of itself is pretty great! The video itself is made up of cut up clips from a 1961 movie, with the lead actress edited out and Lizzy edited in, which I can only imagine was quite a feat!!!
Plus video aside the lyrics are fantastic anti-bullsalsa pieces of wonderfulness!
"Love is not a supermarket... you can't buy my love with your money". Damn right Lizzy, take down those entitled d-bags!
"Just because I was being nice, just because I smiled at you, did you think I was easy?". All right! You tell those no good, patriarchal low-lives how it is!
Plus I really like how even though this song is about not being an "easy girl", Lizzy isn't like shaming ~easy girls~ (sexual promiscuity isn't even mentioned, positively or negatively), she's actually just sticking up for her rights and like telling dudes to stop objectifying her, because that is totally whack and just no thank you.
Also the song itself, which is arguably the most important bit of the song, lol, is super catchy, extremely fun, beautifully sung, and has a wacky satirical rap interlude from like some dude. ha. In short as an esteemed colleague of mine put it "well that was a song". YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT WAS. If you don't like the song, the easy way to begin to like the song, is stop listening to it, and then slowly you'll find it's stuck sideways in your head, and you'll be forced to go back for more, drinking from the poisoned well, until you bite the bullet and download the album. Plus it's super fun to sing
For all of you wondering, this will (hopefully) be a monthly column, focussed, not just on Orange Caramel, and substituents thereof, but on the whole of Kpop, unless something happens ha, you guys know how I am with regularity
Ooh also, you guys out there who love me enough to have waded through this much of this article, send me a PM and you could be part of the next super fun interview phenomenon. First in best dressed, there's only five places up for grabs. Like let's be serious, only like one person will volunteer... but make my day, and be that one person!
And now I leave you with a Lizzy polkapocalypse:
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Dear 667ers,
As is his annual tradition, Mr. Handler will age a year on February 28th, 2015 to become forty-five years old, and as is our annual tradition, we will be celebrating with him, by delivering a collaborative, commemorative project to mark his birthday and grant him our best wishes for the year ahead, as well as expressing our appreciation for the year behind. For those not familiar with projects of previous years, text and art based around a theme somewhat tenuously related to Mr. Handler's birthday is assembled and delivered to him electronically in time for said birthday at the close of February, and you can view the past three years' examples here:
42nd Birthday, 2012
43rd Birthday, 2013
44th Birthday, 2014
We have now decided on a project, and it is the following: Snickety Sentences. As this is the final year of All The Wrong Questions, we'll be trying our own hands at writing a line that might appear in the final volume of the series, but being fans and individuals rather than an author who knows what he's doing, the results are likely to be pretty strange, and probably funny - or intriguing... The idea is to come up with a sentence that only you can write - fun spin on an oft-repeated phrase in the series, an interesting or amusingly wrong question of your own, a witticism or aphorism, an unlikely line of dialogue, an unflattering description, a parodic event, even a birthday present Snicket could receive in the story - anything that pays homage to ATWQ in our own unique and irreverent style, or is completely off the wall and doesn't pay homage at all. There's plenty of room for manoeuvre, but what matters most is you, and what ATWQ would look like if some terrible accident left us in control of the story. In case that's not very clear, here are some suggestions me and Antenora whipped up:
- There was a town, and there was a girl, and more importantly, there was me.
- There was a town, and there was a girl, and there was a statue, and there was a librarian, and there was a theft, and there was a person who had been kidnapped, and there was a fire, and I’m pretty sure there was a kitchen sink in there as well.
- I thought dragons only showed up in tedious stories that begin with 'Once upon a time...', but this story begins with 'There was a town...'
- A lighthouse without an ocean is like high-cocoa chocolate: Dark, dry, and not very popular.
- A friend with a temper is like a nail sticking out of the floor: You have to tread very carefully around them, or else.
- Victory is like a sugar bowl: It only tastes sweet to the person who gets there first.
- "Who would have tea at this hour?"
- "When did you three work last?"
- "Shouldn't you be uncool?"
- “It's time for me to tell you my greatest secret, Mr. Snicket; the truth is... my eyes aren't really green, I'm just wearing contact lenses.”
- “Also, my hair is dyed; it's actually so brown it makes the woods look like white chocolate.”
- “Your chaperone was right; actually, my name really is Eleanor...a Poe.”
Optionally, you could do a Snickety Stencilling, which is to say an illustration along similar lines:
- An illustration of Snicket with an octopus on his head.
- The Stain’d Lighthouse, or the Ink Inc. building, with the Bombinating Beast coiled around it.
- Other fanart of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, preferably from an angle we haven't seen before. What makes the Clusterous Forest so frightening? How are Ellington and Qwerty passing their days in a jail cell?
We'll need 45 sentences in total - because it's a forty-fifth birthday, and that's our running theme. (We can reconsider on Mr. Handler's centenary.) Illustrations do, of course, count among that forty-five, unless you were to choose to illustrate somebody else's line, in which case it would merely be very cool. Once we have that many, preferably from a diverse range of people and preferably all good, they'll be arranged in a semi-logical order and, as usual, accompanied by a congratulatory letter I'll write. These last two items can be completed fairly quickly, so let's say last submissions are on Thursday 26th February, two days before Mr. Handler's birthday on Saturday 28th February. That gives us just under four weeks. Take some time to mull over a few ideas, get your metaphorical creative juices flowing, consider whether you have the time to draw something, and I hope everyone will turn in a good idea or several.
Click here to participate! Or at least take the first step!

Before I begin, I should include the disclaimer that it was absolutely not my original intention to review “Aladdin”, the raucous new musical comedy from the Broadway Theater District. I’m extremely biased towards the production-- I just love it so much! In fact, if someone were to pay me heaps of money to give it a good rating, I would almost certainly decline the offer with great offense. With an enchanting cast like the one in “Aladdin”, the hilarious new musical comedy from the Broadway Theater District, I would blather on about it for free!
But that’s neither here nor there. The simple truth is that “Aladdin”, the rib-tickling new musical comedy from the Broadway Theater District, deserves to be seen by every person alive today. It’s just that “Jafar out!” If someone had bribed me to rave about this play for a substantial amount of legal tender, I would probably use my profits to buy a ticket for everyone I know. How would I be able to stop myself, when it’s as easy as dialing 1.800.BROADWAY and securing a reasonable seat for the bargain price of $49.50?
Not only does this rollicking new musical comedy from the Broadway Theater District include a dazzling performance from exotic man candy Adam Jacobs, it also showcases America’s sexiest princess, Courtney Reed. Rrrr! I was so glued to my seat through the entire show that it almost felt like I was legally obligated to be there.
On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being a new musical comedy from the Broadway Theater district that is not “Aladdin”, and 10 being “Aladdin”, I absolutely give this roller coaster ride a 10. Make sure to look for “A Night At The Theatre” next month too, where I will be auctioning off half a page of advertising space.
"oh no"
oh no, whatever shall i do
i spilled my oatmeal and now i can't eat it
well i could
if i had a spoon
but someone took my spoon
and stuck it up their butt
i dont really see why people are into that
whaaa
my oatmeal
oh no
"frick"
frick sounds like thick
like a really thick wall
a soundproof one
but you know what isn't thick?
fishing line
which can be used to catch fish
but you shouldnt bc fish dont like to be caught much
and THEY CANT BREATHE OUT OF THE WATER
so why would you deny them respiration
AHHHHH KREBS CYCLE
the end
"my problems"
i have some issues
but that's okay
my parents just accept it
like today
my dad obliged to make me brinner
which stands for breakfast for dinner if ur dumb
my other issue is i hold too many hands
but not all at once, so it's okay
now if i held FIVE HANDS AT ONCE
that wouldn't be so stupendous
bc i would have to sprout 3 extra limbs
or use my feet
so like yeah NO
also, i spent my whole snow day watching dance moms
so i guess you could say im a rebel
thug life
sophie b over and out
AND NOW ITS TIME FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to the newer and better rankings, which are better than the old ones because I am the one doing the ranking. I even have proof these are better because look:
Power Ranking Power Rankings
1. Rankings by Pandora
2. Rankings by Willis.
There you have it. Science.
Here are the first of many wonderful and accurate power rankings that I totally didn't forget about
POWER RANKINGS (Can you put lightning bolts before and after the title? If you can't, leave this here because I want it to be known that I asked.) [Editors Note : Sorry. Next don't send it in 24 hours late. ]
10. Qliquey - Go you! You were on the forum in the last 24 hours, and I think that deserves recognition.
9. Songbird - Being a really strict mod (FOR THE GAMES SECTION) is uncool but she makes the list solely because she is better than like at least 95% of this forum because she won my heart, a feat which many have done but she's also Jewish.
8. This cat because it is a balla 36.media.tumblr.com/11166be600acc70458bda7bdb011c0e1/tumblr_ni4o0hF7LQ1qewacoo2_540.jpg
7. Sophie - For being pretty.
6. Bee - Hey girl hey. <3
5. Sophie, Again - Sophie is much more than just her looks so she needed double recognition because feminism.
4. Linda - My love. Not that I played favorites or anything. (#LindoraBestPairing2014 or #LinddoraBestPairing2015idkhowthedarkieswork)
3. Bryan- I figured I better put a dude on the list. Not that Bryan isn't powerful because I get really excited whenever he rises from the dead and posts one thing.
2. Me- While arguably the most powerful person all weeks, I graciously accepted the second spot instead because it would be tacky to put myself first for my power rankings debut.
1. This person is truly deserving of this honor and is without a doubt the best and most powerful member of this forum. Let's hear it for Harry Styles. 38.media.tumblr.com/b29cc0c765f263f03ca5b7864faabe16/tumblr_niw8s1DqOX1rh2dxuo1_250.gif
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~If anybody wants to contribute something (whether positive or negative) then feel free to PM me or any other staff members with your ideas~
~Also, feel free to make Lemona irritated so she has something to rant about#
~Also, PM Pen with questions! If you don’t ask him questions, then we don’t get answers, and then Pen is sad,~
~Who wants to be a guest artist? If you just shouted ‘ME ME ME’ Loudly at the screen then calm down, I can’t hear you. Instead I recommend that you PM concerning the guest artist slot next issue~
~Who wants to be a guest writer? If you just shouted ‘PLEASE PICK ME, PLEASE!’ then hold your horses, you’re talking to a computer. Instead, why not PM concerning the guest writer slot in issue 3?~
~Do you have a special announcement? No? Oh dear..~
~Can you write poetry? You can??? Why Sophie, of course you can contribute again~
~Does anybody want to be interviewed by charlie? If so then PM him~
~Send me feedback! I thought it could be fun if we had a letters section or something~
~Does anybody have money for a new laptop?~
BEGINS NEXT ISSUE
A RANDOM JOKE
This Month brought to you by Anka
What? A joke from me? I'm German, I have no humour, I don't know any jokes!
A RANDOM VIDEO
This Month brought to you by Mister M
THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING
Apparently there is something called a teleban. I’m not really sure what it is or why it exists. Ask Charlie. Or Teleram. Maybe Charlie, because look he did this.

By Charlie
The world is beautiful, and every day, each of us can witness that beauty if we open our eyes to it
Find someone that makes you happy, and do your best to make them happy too
So yay. Thats the first issue done. I hope you all enjoyed it, or if not, i hope you enjoyed not enjoying it. Hopefully there'll be another issue in four weeks time. Till then, seeya