The Gloomy Gym

[Tiago James Squalor]

- - - - -

Dear Reader,

It is my most distressing duty to inform you of the dreadful events that befell the Quagmire triplets as their search for the Baudelaires led them to the setting of this most exhausting book, THE GLOOMY GYM, and to warn you to read something more amiable to your health.

Unless of course, you would like to read a story involving a pack of vicious dogs and their equally vicious owner, raw eggs, a mysterious scrapbooking collection, two trainers with clashing philosophies, unsuitable lighting, a merciless training regimen, a hidden clue left by a friend, a boorish brotherhood of brutes, and nasty bruised and sore muscles.

It is my duty to continue to investigate the Quagmires and their search for their friends, but it should be your duty to ignore it and live in blissful ignorance.

With All Due Respect,

Tiago Squalor

P.s.: Beware GW

[Tiago James Squalor]

Here pictured : G in his early days

- - - - -

Dear R,

I have sent my dossier to the address in RXXXXXXX. I still haven't heard anything from S, H, E, or D, or even I, or E, or D in a long time.
Still no word about N, or J, or C or C, or even K or S. If they have turned up anywhere, it hasn't been here. I am prevented from leaving as you must know. Please keep in mind that i am doing my best to carry out the mission you set for me, but there have been complications. A G.W. unit is in place and i'm prevented from conducting any XXXX exchange in the shop as it is.

With All Due Respect,

M

P.S.: What about B?
P.P.S.: I don't believe it for a second.

[Dante]

Sounds like one of the most aggressive settings yet, without being actually criminal - though I'm sure there'll be plenty of criminality, too. It's a good thing the Quagmires have gotten plenty of hard training in over the years, whether it's through S.O.R.E. or their time aboard the Great Unknown.

A small request for early on in the story, if it's not too much trouble: As I'm sure you'll be the first to point out, the series has become a little protracted (though admittedly still less so than if it were a published series of books, which I applaud). Would it be too much trouble to recap the major points of the overarching narrative as we begin this tale? If you weren't going to do so already, that is.

[Tiago James Squalor]

Jan 14, 2017 11:36:48 GMT -5 Dante said:

Sounds like one of the most aggressive settings yet, without being actually criminal - though I'm sure there'll be plenty of criminality, too. It's a good thing the Quagmires have gotten plenty of hard training in over the years, whether it's through S.O.R.E. or their time aboard the Great Unknown.

A small request for early on in the story, if it's not too much trouble: As I'm sure you'll be the first to point out, the series has become a little protracted (though admittedly still less so than if it were a published series of books, which I applaud). Would it be too much trouble to recap the major points of the overarching narrative as we begin this tale? If you weren't going to do so already, that is.

Thank you Dante. I do plan a recap as this is a turning point for AQSoUE as we near it's end.

I greatly apologize for my schedule slip. My life has been quite a series of unfortunate events and it affected my creativity, energy and drive to write. I have however been recently reminded that in order to live, we must live for goals, no matter how small, or life can be unbearable. My goal is to finish what I started.

[Dante]

I agree entirely; having some sort of motivation is important to finding the will to continue. No judgement intended for how long the story has taken; I know nothing about your life. Nonetheless, as I noted, if this was a published series of books it would probably have taken a lot longer anyway, so you're still getting them out there faster than the original ASoUE, after all.

[Tiago James Squalor]

Jan 14, 2017 12:34:19 GMT -5 Dante said:

I agree entirely; having some sort of motivation is important to finding the will to continue. No judgement intended for how long the story has taken; I know nothing about your life. Nonetheless, as I noted, if this was a published series of books it would probably have taken a lot longer anyway, so you're still getting them out there faster than the original ASoUE, after all.

Thank you. And even though AQSoUE will end i will continue the stories and this ficverse somehow. I have ideas, but we'll see. Also since ATWQ has been out i've been wanting to do something related to it in the future. Kind of a way to tie the events of ATWQ into my ficverse, and i think i know just the way. I'm having fun writing again, at the very least.

[Dante]

There has been very little ATWQ fanfiction overall, partly as fanfiction in general seems to have been supplanted in prominence by fanart these days, but for that reason I value any ATWQ connections in fanfiction all the more (and I've written a few myself). But, first things first, of course.

[Tiago James Squalor]

Dear M,

I write from the Archeological Wing of the University of Arkham, near Rogueport. Things have been dire, which is a word which here means "fraught with woe and despair". I cannot be sure you have been following my investigations of the Quagmire case closely; in fact, i know you haven't. Ever since our reunion in Ultima, the last, last safe place, the world has changed, in more ways than one. Evil lives on like a hydra which just has had a few heads cut off, but has since regrown two for each that fell. A Hydra, as i'm sure of you can remember from our Greek Mythology seminar at Training School, is a being that can grow two heads when one is cut off. I feel that it is also the only appropriate way to describe our enemies.

With the destruction of their Ultimate Weapon and the loss of everything they had worked to achieve, those terrible two, Dominique Fulfillment and Vladimir Ivankov, have renewed their vow of revenge. V.F.D. only exists in the memory of of us who still survive. Dominique and Vladimir, or, as we refered to them to avoid having to say their names, the woman with hair but no beard and the man with beard but no hair, have founded a new organization called Gothic Works, and their aim is very specific. They mean to put an end to all of us, V.F.D. agents, official or no, and erase all evidence of our organization. Fires and schemes to steal fortunes? Dominique and Vladimir are past such trivia. In their organization they have scientists, led by Dr. Ludovico Lugae, researching the legendary substance, Grimstone, a chemical compound of unknown elements of extraterrestrial origin that arrived on this world with a meteorite. Once the family jewels of the Ivankov family, Grimstone was discovered to possess extraordinary capabilities in several scientific fields.

Not only does it possess incredible energetic potential, Grimstone particles can alter humans when they are exposed to it in regularity. That is why the grimstone was hidden in the sugarbowl, the very sugarbowl that was at the epicenter of our schism. They only had a few shards left, but it was enough for them to complete their plans. They were stopped, as you know, by no other than their own children, the noble Cindry Fulfillment, and her brother, Nemo Vladimiroff. Cindry had been raised by her family, the Fulfillments, while the unfortunate Nemo had been raised by his two monstrous parents.

The events of two years ago still haunt me. The Baudelaires went missing, and so did the majority of those imprisoned in the Great Unknown.

The Quagmires, they washed up ashore in their escape pod in the south. They made their way to Bayou Lafayette, where they met Jeremiah Hudson and his family. Jeremiah had many secrets, and one of them was his journal, which due to tragedy, came to ownership by the Quagmires as they escaped the Bayou. You'd think they would manage to escape into safety, but they walked out of a jam into a deathtrap called Firefly Farm, home of the twisted Crowe family. I won't go over exactly what made them so twisted, but the policeman i interviewed said he'd never seen something so grisly as to what they found in that farm once not just the Quagmires, but the Crowes, were long gone.

I have been to Cronenberg Colossus Apartments near Crooked Creek where the Quagmires took refuge with the help of no other than one Natalie Finch. I am sure you will remember Natalie and how she was taken in by Esmé along with her brother, Nathan, after the disaster at Addams Asylum. Natalie had been living at the Apartments for a while and it was she who helped the Quagmires during their stay, which was rife with misfortune, for the Apartments were to be the site of murder. It was also the Quagmires' first encounter with Gothic Works.

In this dreary chapter, Quigley was gravely injured, and they had to escape. Making their way to a town to the east, across the surface of a lake, Deluge Dam, a strange town built right on the Dam. I can only describe it as if the locals had seen a picture of the Anwhistle's house at Lake Lachrymose and thought: "What a good idea! Now let's build several, just like that, on the wall of a dam, which will totally never break despite it's major structural flaws. What could go wrong?"

Everything. Everything went wrong, and soon the Quagmires witnessed a disaster that wiped away the hometown of Cid Jetsam and his sister, Isabella, who had been so kind to the Quagmires. It was also there they reunited with Cindry Fulfillment, who was also searching for the Baudelaires herself, but specially her brother, Nemo. Cindry tagged along the Quagmires and the recovering Cid as they traversed the nearby Malaise Mines, a network of mining tunnels with air so stale, foul and sickening that no one in their right mind would choose to explore or work in.

The Quagmire, unfortunately were afforded no such choice, and after many more disasters underneath the earth, they wound up at the worst place they could possibly find themselves at: Lugae Laboratory. The Laboratory connected to the mines, as Gothic Works had dealings with the corrupt mayor of Deluge Dam. It was there that the Quagmires finally reunited with Dr. Jill Nebra.

Doctor Jill Nebra is an enigmatic figure even to me, and i researched her extensively in my pursuit of truth concerning this case. She is deeply entangled within the web of conspiracy that lies at the very heart of our organization's history. She was unfortunately forced to work for her terrible older sister, Dominique, and the arguably just as monstrous Dr. Lugae, employing her intellect in the Grimstone research and it's many offshoot projects.

What I also know about her is that she was Chess Champion four years in a row in our school's Chess League. Dr. Nebra never touches her King and lets pawns do her work for her and rarely moves herself. She is content to play the long game, and her unnerving calmness drove many a rival to a humiliating loss. There must, however, be a missing element to which i'm not yet privy, a word which here means "knowledgeable about secrets of a villainous family", some dark reason as to why Dr. Nebra was unable to escape her sister's grasp. R has assured me she is confident we can find Dr. Nebra and assist her, though i'd prefer to find the Baudelaires the Quagmires, and help them.

*tear stains*

I'm sorry. I went on a sad tangent.

As I was saying, the events of Lugae Laboratory only served to show the extent of the evil this organization has wrought. Human experiments. Toxic waste. Terribe bedside manner. Dr. Nebra helped the Quagmires understand more, but withheld crucial pieces of information which she must have deigned unsuitable to share with the Quagmires, or maybe she was being watched. I'll never know that but what I do know is that what happened at the Laboratory, the blighted, toxic ruin it became, was a major strike against Gothic Works. Their scientific advances, halted if only for the moment.

This time, the Quagmires escaped death by a hair's breadth, an expression which here means they really nearly got themselves killed. By "killed" I mean "infused with Grimstone while awake" which tends to be fatal.

They were then helped by an acquaintance of Dr. Nebra's, the waitress, Sookie, who i am sure you will remember. I don't really have to say what happened. Disaster struck the Roadkill Restaurant (where Roadkill was definetely not on the menu, as far as I know). Their stay at the Restaurant went without any major setbacks to themselves. They were volunteers, and experienced enough. It was everyone else at the Restaurant that really had an agenda of their own. That restaurant was teeming with conspiracy, lies, secrets, and some say, vermin. That the Quagmires should have been able to walk out of it alive was a most fortunate change for them. The same cannot be said for the people who died that night, though of them it is best I say as little as possible for now so i will say nothing.

What you must know, M, is that my research has not yet ended. I am staying in Arkham until i hear from R, or, until I grow tired of waiting to hear from her. I refer to her by her initial for the same reason i refer to you by the wrong one.

I have to run now. I have been in the library too long, and i cannot trust anyone but R. I hope you and our friends are well. I certainly could be better.

Yours truly,

R.

P.s.: Do you think I should lose some weight?

[Dante]

Just what I needed; thank you. I think that takes care of bringing the reader back up to speed, and you even managed to pull it off stylistically without it reading like a mundane recap, too.

[MisterM]

Thanks for the letter.