And she hasn't even got 20 posts yet. Let me see... 13 posts, divide by two, that's roughly one strike for every six posts, so she'll be gone before she's even a Catastrophic Captain.
Anyway, to stay on-topic, I'll do a very brief analysis of which guardians were best and why.
Monty - The Baudelaires liked him, he liked them, he was mentally stable. Good.
Josephine - They found her slightly annoying, she liked them, she was mentally unstable, with all kinds of irrational fears and dreams of spending the rest of her life in a cave. Bad.
Sir - They didn't like him, he didn't like them, cruel, made them work hard at lumber, gave them gum for lunch. Bad.
Nero - They didn't like him, he didn't like them, they were learning, they had to live in an awful shack, the pupils were mean to them, the rules were ridiculous, looking at Duncan and Isadora, they might have been able to leave the Orphans Shack after a while. On the whole, bad.
Jerome - They liked him, he liked them, financially secure, nice home (if a little confusing), friend of their mothers, a coward. On the whole, good.
Village of Fowl Devotees, Hector - They didn't like the people, they did like Hector, the people didn't like them, Hector liked them, ridiculous rules, reasonable home. Medium.
Heimlich Hospital - Don't be silly.
Caligari Carnival - They didn't like it, the customers didn't like them, no pay, humiliating. Bad.
Mortmain Mountains - See under "Heimlich Hospital".
Captain Widdershins, Phil, Fiona - They liked them, they liked them, situation veered between stable and dangerous, captain was volatile. Medium.
