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Post by PJ on Apr 16, 2005 3:00:15 GMT -5
Nicely done. Now Dante will be out for revenge, and somoene will be on the case at last. I wanna be the murderer.....
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Post by Akbar Le Grey on Apr 16, 2005 11:29:53 GMT -5
The whole community was abuzz with the strange disappearnce of Dante and Antenora. Some said they were the latest victims. Yet others claimed that they had gone away together to 'find a better place'. However, there were a few who knew. The Mods. Derik, the interim administrator, gathered them together and ,in a queit ,slightly scared voice, told them what had happened. They were shocked, of course. But it's worth noticing that one of them was more surprised than the others. After the meeting she immediately ran back to her five-story tower, just next to the 'crime scene'. -------- "But it isn't faaairrr!" squealed Cha Ching Verdigo,"it's not like they want to kill ussss...its just the mods." "Yes," explained Beatrix, in a strained voice," and so, if every-one's under curfew, no-one can go commit murders." "Yaaa but...noooo." replied CCV, "I don't like it.OMG I feel like we're being locked in. The elevators and stairs are locked..." "Desperate times call for desperate measures." replied a rather annoyed Beatrix. "Noooooo..." sobbed CCV. Beatrix stomped off, her hair angrily whipping the sob-filled wind. ------ Derik felt a shdow of fear as he descended into the SSS. As he strode to the hall straneg thoguths ran through his head. What if he was next?He knowcked on the solid wood door. "Come in." drawled a sardonic male voice. Jesus, he thought, as if this murder isn't enough.Now I have to put up with Mr. Who too. "Hullo Derik," said Fancy brightly, "have a seat." He sat. " No offence,"He said "but I'm really very busy. What did you want to see me for so urgently?" "Sebastian, could you please leave?" The aformentioned slammed the door behind him with a nasty 'hrrmph' "Look Derik," she went on, "I have a feeling that this was a cover-up of sorts. So that the murder would be forgotten." " I see what you mean...first the Giudecca thing ,and now this." he replied, not a little inquisitive. "Exactly. We really need to solve it, don't you think?It should be a priority." "Yes, yes ,maybe. "Good. You see my point. So starting tomorrow, we begin Trag-week. Members will grieve and mourn for their leader and the murder will be back in the limelight." Wily ,he thought, but very pushy. "Thankyou, Derik, that will be all. You may leave now." Fancy chirpily commanded.
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Post by Dante on Apr 16, 2005 11:41:34 GMT -5
CCV's brilliant in this bit.
And so is Derik in the starring role now? Is there a star at all? Or are there multiple stars?
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Post by Akbar Le Grey on Apr 16, 2005 11:53:09 GMT -5
I'm trying to write it from multiple points-of-view to show the effects it has on different people and their reactions.
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Post by ersatzbeatrice on Apr 16, 2005 11:57:42 GMT -5
Yay I'm in!! XD Even though I only talked to CCV. But that's a very nice story, I like the way you made the sections in 667 towers and etc etc. Do write more!
"Desperate times call for desperate measures." I specially like this bit.
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Post by Dante on Apr 16, 2005 12:01:18 GMT -5
I'm trying to write it from multiple points-of-view to show the effects it has on different people and their reactions. Excellent. Quite excellent. That will be very good.
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Antenora
Detriment Deleter
Fiendish Philologist
Put down that harpoon gun, in the name of these wonderful birds!
Posts: 15,891
Likes: 113
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Post by Antenora on Apr 16, 2005 12:19:27 GMT -5
This chapter was quite good. CCV was very good, and pretty accurate.
I like how you're using various viewpoints.
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Post by Akbar Le Grey on Apr 16, 2005 12:31:27 GMT -5
Thanks for the kind comments every-one. Chapter 6 should be up in the morning. Unless the world mysteriously ends.
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Post by Amber on Apr 16, 2005 13:54:44 GMT -5
Thanks for the kind comments every-one. Chapter 6 should be up in the morning. Good, you don't think you could work another person into the story, do you? *points to self*
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Post by Indistinguishable Blob on Apr 16, 2005 15:49:11 GMT -5
I heart this story so far, it's really spiffy and you're a good write. </really lame but first review in a loooong time, so feel special>
(:
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Post by PJ on Apr 17, 2005 0:56:17 GMT -5
Nicely done. This makes me want to write a 667 story....
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Post by Akbar Le Grey on Apr 17, 2005 6:28:15 GMT -5
I heart this story so far, it's really spiffy and you're a good write. </really lame but first review in a loooong time, so feel special> (: Thanks. *feels special* I'm suffering from a bad case of writer's block right now... I was actually writing it but there was a power cut. It featured Amber and Kimia and I'll try to have it up soon.
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Post by Amber on Apr 17, 2005 8:52:17 GMT -5
Thanks. *feels special* I'm suffering from a bad case of writer's block right now... I was actually writing it but there was a power cut. It featured Amber and Kimia and I'll try to have it up soon. Yzay! *spasm*
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Post by Akbar Le Grey on Apr 17, 2005 9:27:51 GMT -5
It was a cool, shady morning and the trees towering above them gave the stroll a woodland feel. "If Ennui was here," said Amber dreamily,"he would probably have been able to figure it out by now." "I'm sure he would," replied Kimia, "I wonder if he'd be able to find Fef-wef and Aunty Nora." "I'm sure he would!" cried Amber, rushing to his defence. "Yes,yes me....what is Char doing over there?" Amber glanced to where Kimia was pointing. Char had apparently taken it upon herself to do the gardening, and was busily digging a hole in the grounds. "Oi! Char! Whatcha doing?"yelled Amber amiably. She had just popped out of a rather pleasant daydream concerning Ennui and felt that all was right with the world. Char looked up and an expression of alarm crossed her face. One that 667ers had seen many ,many times. "Umm...hi!" she yelled back, "just doing some...er..gardening." "Can we join you?" asked Kimia. "No, no I really have to go."she replied, running away busily and leaving assorted garden tools in her wake. "How strange." wondered Kimia. Amber was lost in another daydream. "How very, very strange."
Strange indeed. But stranger things were soon going to be happening.
Sorry about the length, but I only write when I get an idea. And this is the only idea I got today.
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Post by Dante on Apr 17, 2005 9:31:48 GMT -5
Char is behaving suspiciously! But is she a red herring or... er... red! Due to being covered in blood!
Yeah. The plot thickens. Keep it up.
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