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Post by Shelly on Mar 27, 2006 1:24:40 GMT -5
It's very good. And I'm not in it. IF YOU PUT ME IN, THE STORY WILL GO DOWNHILL!
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Post by deanna. on Mar 27, 2006 1:31:10 GMT -5
I love this so much my heart just exploded all over the parlour and now there's black splotches all over the torture equipment. Thank you...?
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Post by Skeleton Key on Mar 27, 2006 1:36:23 GMT -5
You're welcome..?
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Post by PJ on Mar 27, 2006 1:41:56 GMT -5
Yzay! I just found it! It's da skill. Do continue, Deanna.
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Mar 27, 2006 1:59:27 GMT -5
Heh, this is great. Yay for me running an orphanage. And the Dupin fight should be great.
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Post by deanna. on Mar 27, 2006 19:23:17 GMT -5
Heh, thanks, I'm glad you like it.
Scene: The Rhaldeen Home for Abandoned Children.
Betsy: ....huh?
Derik: Don't you remember me, sweets? It's me, daddy!
Betsy: *eyes brighten* DADDY?! I HAVE A DADDY!! *squeal*
Lady Linda: Isn't it wonderful, Bets? I just have to sort a few things out with your daddy, and you'll be free to go! Now, go and get Dante and Swans to help you pack up your things.
Betsy: Will do! *runs off*
Lady Linda: Now, Mr Miller, come and have a seat in the dining room, and we'll talk things over. *ushers Derik into the dining room*
Derik: So, are there any papers or forms I need to sign to get Betsy out of this dump? *cough* I mean, wonderful home?
Lady Linda: Well, you'll need to have proof of some sort that you really are Elizabeth's dad, but I can see the remy butt in your faces clearly. And you and I will have to sign the papers that allow Betsy to leave here.
Derik: Alrighty, then.
Scene: Dark Avenue Hospital.
Freshie: OWW, my wrist! *weeps* You broke it, you idiot!
Libitina: Well, MY neck feels like it's broken! If George hadn't been CHEATING on me, we wouldn't be in this mess!
PJ: Good thing we're in a hospital, with all these injuries. *laughs*
Freshie and Libitina simultaneously: STFU, PJ!! *beat each other up*
Dr. J: *gasps* Girls! WTF are you doing?
Freshie: *groans in pain* Killing Libitina for stealing MY boyfriend!
Libitina: YOUR boyfriend?! He's MINE!
Dr. J: Now, hold up. Who is this boyfriend you're fighting over?
Libitina and Freshie: GEORGE!!
Dr. J: George? You don't mean the George who was killed in the car accident, do you?
Libitina: Yeah, that's him...why do you care?
Dr. J: Uh, I, um....*blurts* I WENT OUT WITH HIM TOO!!
Freshie: *gasp* How DARE you, you filthy, pathetic excuse for a woman!
Libitina: You're a DEAD LADY, J!!
Dr. J: Hey! *unsheaths syringe* I'm the one with the needle here, and I'm NOT afraid to use it!
Freshie: OMFGNEEDLES! *hides*
Scene: The Giddy Grocer.
Snicket: *whines* Stupid Derik. I HATE him. I bet Steve Jobs would NEVER hire him.
Charlotte: *enters*
Snicket: *coldly* Charlotte. My EX girlfriend. Why did you break up with me, even? Things were just heatin' up between us...the oven was preheating...
Charlotte: *opens mouth to show vampire fangs* GRRRAARRRLLL!!!!
Snicket: Good lord, Charlotte. Really, you should buy some plastic fangs that aren't so obviously fake. It's like one of those iPod imitations, but crappier!
Charlotte: *makes out with Snicket*
Snicket: Mmm, Char....does this mean we're an item again? Cause my oven's heated to 450 degrees!
Charlotte: *bites Snicket's neck*
Snicket: Oh, Char, you're so passionate...
Charlotte: *bites harder*
Snicket: YOWZA! Char, that hurt! *rubs neck* *turns into a vampire*
Charlotte and Snicket: *grin with vampire fangs*
Snicket: Let's get hitched, babe!
Charlotte: I say we elope in Transylvania!
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Post by deanna. on Mar 27, 2006 23:29:29 GMT -5
Sorry for the double post. I don't know if I'll have much time this week to write very much, so I'll post some more now.
Scene: The Rhaldeen Home for Abandoned Children.
Lady Linda: Well, there you are, Mr Miller. The papers are signed, everything's in order!
Derik: Thanks very much, Miss...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.
Lady Linda: It's Linda, but people sometimes call me Miss Foxi. *bats eyelashes*
Derik: *cough* Alright then. Well, I'll collect Elizabeth and we'll be off.
Lady Linda: Oh please, Mr Miller, won't you stay for supper? We were just about to eat anyways, and you look in need of a good meal.
Derik: *shrug* Okay. Betsy will probably want to say goodbye to the friends she's made here anyhow.
Swans: *runs down the stairs* Lady Linda, Betsy's all done packing. Dante and I turned it into a game to make it fun for her.
Lady Linda: That's nice dear...but Mr Miller and I need a bit of time together...do you mind?
Swans: Sure. Dante and I will keep Betsy occupied until suppertime.
Lady Linda: Thanks, Swans.
Swans: *leaves*
Lady Linda: Now, Mr Miller...*shuffles chair closer to Derik's* You have divine eyes.
Derik: Erm...thanks?
Lady Linda: And you have a beautiful mouth...such wonderful lips...*kisses*
Derik: Ugh! *backs away* WTF are you doing, Linda?
Lady Linda: It's Miss Foxi.
Derik: W-whatever. Just what do you think you're doing, though? You're - you're seducing me in a house full of children! I have a girlfriend, for goodness' sake!
Lady Linda: Oh. You do?
Derik: Yes, I do! Her name's Euro, and I was actually planning on proposing to her on Saturday.
Lady Linda: Oh. *blushes* Well, then. I, uh, I, well, I have to go, uh, check on the stove. *runs away*
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Post by Shelly on Mar 28, 2006 0:07:14 GMT -5
Wow . . .it's geting really good.
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Post by deanna. on Mar 28, 2006 0:16:32 GMT -5
Thanks. I didn't really mean for it to be good; I did it as a parody of cheesy soap operas, basically. But it's fun to write.
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Post by Shelly on Mar 28, 2006 0:21:52 GMT -5
It's funny, and juicy. It's everything a soap opera needs.
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Post by PJ on Mar 28, 2006 5:18:00 GMT -5
Heh. So Soapie. Love it.
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Post by deanna. on Mar 28, 2006 20:20:59 GMT -5
Yay. I didn't think people would like it that much.
This part'll be short, cause I have to go eat food.
Scene: Aunty Nora's Book Shop.
Robert: *enters* So Char really is gone, eh, Nora? TOLD YOU SO!!
Antenora: Don't rub it in my face, Robert. She's around here somewhere, I know it.
Skeleton Key: Do you really think she turned into a vampire? Cause that would be REALLY cool.
Celinra: *enters* *gapes at Antenora*
Skeleton Key: Wha-how-huh-holy crap! *gestures with hands* You-you look the same!
And it was true. The girl who had just entered the book shop had a scary resemblance to Antenora.
Robert: Hang on - there's TWO Antenoras?? I can't bear it! *runs*
Antenora: Holy Cow....Cel Bell, is that you?!
Celinra: Nora Pora! It IS you!!
Antenora: *hugs* Oh, Cel Bell, I've missed you so much!
Celinra: I missed you too! It's been, what, 8 years since we last saw each other? 9 years?
Antenora: I think it was around there. Oh, I've missed having a sister! Remember when I was 8, and I started calling you Cel Bell because you were in love with that cowbell in music class?
Celinra: Yeah, I do remember that! Oh, good times, good times...*wipes eyes* Ever since I was released from my kidnapper, I've been looking for you. I found out you lived here, and I found you!!
Skeleton Key: You're sisters? Sweet!
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Post by Skeleton Key on Mar 28, 2006 20:30:51 GMT -5
Eek! I have a larger than minor part!
I adore this, Deanna.
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Post by deanna. on Mar 28, 2006 22:44:36 GMT -5
Yay, thanks. *happy*
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Post by Skeleton Key on Mar 29, 2006 0:14:20 GMT -5
You're welcome and welcome!
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