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667
Aug 16, 2005 5:20:15 GMT -5
Post by Akbar Le Grey on Aug 16, 2005 5:20:15 GMT -5
Kimia was ecstatic. She’d never seen so many shops before. As she stared down Fifth Avenue, she felt like she was flying. Standing beside her, Amber gaped at the shop displays at Barney’s.
“Knock yourselves out.” Came Akbar’s voice from behind them, “I need to go check up at the office.”
Derik, meanwhile, had gone down to Times Square to walk around for a bit.
“Okay. We’ll meet at Rockefeller center for lunch, at 2, okay?” said Kimia.
“Sure. Bye.” Akbar replied, as he walked off.
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As M drove wearily over the Queensboro Bridge, J. started to cheer, while Celinra whistled “Feelin’ Groovy”.
“Where are we staying, M.?” J. asked.
“Oh, at my apartment. Down in Tribeca.” She replied.
“I want to get off at Barney’s.” Celinra added, “I have to meet someone near there.”
“Er, sure.” M. replied, a little nervously.
They drove on, down 59th street.
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As soon as Antenora arrived, she rang Dante’s mobile from a pay phone.
“Dante?”
“Ah, Nora. Listen, I’m coming to pick you up, alright? There’s been a change in plans. I don’t think we should stay here any longer.”
“Alright” she replied, worriedly.
As Dante hung up, he closed his eyes and held his head in his hands. He began to mutter:
“What have I done? I’ve sold them all. At least we’ll be safe. I hope. What if he finds out? What if?”
The clock struck 10.
--------------
One hour later, he had have set fire to over 216 files and thrown a certain ring into the fire, watching it melt with a mad glee.
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667
Aug 16, 2005 6:36:42 GMT -5
Post by Dante on Aug 16, 2005 6:36:42 GMT -5
My sinister, regrettable actions are most intriguing.
I'm tired, so I can't give any creative comments, but it's good and I like it.
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Antenora
Detriment Deleter
Fiendish Philologist
Put down that harpoon gun, in the name of these wonderful birds!
Posts: 15,891
Likes: 113
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667
Aug 16, 2005 6:37:08 GMT -5
Post by Antenora on Aug 16, 2005 6:37:08 GMT -5
Very cool, do continue. I like how Dante throws the mysterious ring into the fire.
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667
Aug 16, 2005 6:53:54 GMT -5
Post by PJ on Aug 16, 2005 6:53:54 GMT -5
Brilliance. Will effects will Dante's treachery have on us? It's teh coolness.
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667
Aug 19, 2005 3:40:30 GMT -5
Post by Akbar Le Grey on Aug 19, 2005 3:40:30 GMT -5
Here's the next chapter which is, to tell you the truth, rather pathetic. I'm sorry. I'm just in a bit of a hurry. I might edit it later, but don't count on it.
BSam staggered out of J.F.K, PJ pushing the trolley ahead of him. For a moment, he thought he saw some one he recognized from 667. A tall wiry man with glasses, waving a big signboard saying “BSAM!!!!! IT’S ME!!!! RON WEASLEY!!!”
He chucked a beer can at him, thinking he was some type of mirage only visible at 7 in the evening to extremely drunk Australians.
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“Um, Tragedy, sir?” Akbar said into the telephone.
“What is it?” came the snappy response.
“They’re here, sir. All of them.”
“Are you SURE about that?”
“Ye-es.”
“Well, you’re wrong. Because two of them have escaped.”
He hung up. Akbar began pacing his office, unsure of what to do, when the phone rang again.
“Hello?”
“Akbar. This is Dante. Antenora and I have left. I don’t want to be part of this anymore.”
“But what about the rest of us? He’ll kill us!”
“I’m sorry.”
Dante hung up.
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Meanwhile, somewhere in California, another 667er got into his car and began a drive across the country. Halfway to Nevada, his bumper fell off and his personalized license plate broke. It had read “SnIcKeT + rOn 4 eVeR”
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Antenora
Detriment Deleter
Fiendish Philologist
Put down that harpoon gun, in the name of these wonderful birds!
Posts: 15,891
Likes: 113
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667
Aug 19, 2005 4:19:36 GMT -5
Post by Antenora on Aug 19, 2005 4:19:36 GMT -5
The bit about Ron being a mirage was quite funny. Once again, very good.
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667
Aug 19, 2005 6:07:43 GMT -5
Post by Dante on Aug 19, 2005 6:07:43 GMT -5
I liked the bit about Ron being a mirage, too. And the plot exposition. You put yourself down too much, Akbar. There's nothing wrong with this.
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667
Aug 19, 2005 7:30:34 GMT -5
Post by Akbar Le Grey on Aug 19, 2005 7:30:34 GMT -5
There's nothing wrong with it ,per sé, but it is rather shoddy. Thanks for the comments, everyone. Hopefully I'll have a new chapter up tonight, and then I'll start working on another story.
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667
Aug 19, 2005 20:50:47 GMT -5
Post by SF on Aug 19, 2005 20:50:47 GMT -5
Nice job Akbar. This is beginning to become rather mystyrious. I don't trust Tragedy *shifty eyes*
Do continue!
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667
Aug 20, 2005 1:39:11 GMT -5
Post by PJ on Aug 20, 2005 1:39:11 GMT -5
There's nothing wron with it ,per sé, but it is rather shoddy. Thanks for the comments, everyone. Hopefully I'll have a new chapter up tonight, and then I'll start working on another story. It's great! So Sam and I have arrived, then? And let Trag try and kill us! Ha! *draws Dave*
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667
Aug 20, 2005 22:38:23 GMT -5
Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Aug 20, 2005 22:38:23 GMT -5
I don't believe I've commented on this story before. It's really good! I liked the Ron mirage part a lot!
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667
Sept 6, 2005 12:05:27 GMT -5
Post by Akbar Le Grey on Sept 6, 2005 12:05:27 GMT -5
Ennui peered out the window of the cab, his glasses halfway down his nose. Times Square blinked past, and soon he was zooming up Broadway. He checked the address again. Yes, it was here, in Columbus Circle. He’d got Akbar’s address from the New York Times office.
As the cab turned into 65th Street, he suddenly exclaimed: “Stop! I’d like to get out here.”
“Yeah? Well I wouldn’t like you to.” Roared the taxi driver, suddenly swerving onto Central Park West, “we’re going to the boss now.”
Ennui peered at the driver, disbelief written all over his face. An idea sprung upon him and he slowly extracted a paper-thin knife from inside his jacket. “I’m getting out now.” He murmured dangerously, just loud enough for the taxi driver to hear.
“Like hell you are!” guffawed the balding cabbie. Then he saw the knife.
Ennui got out in a dignified ,slow manner. He paid the taxi and then began to walk across 65th Street.
The cabbie gaped.
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Amber walked out of Central Park smartly, walking purposefully up 65th Street. Suddenly she saw someone. Someone she recognized.
Ennui yelled “Amber!”
She ran towards him, almost crying.
Behind her, a shadowy figure stood in front of a skyscraper, his long coat fluttering in the wind. He scratched figures into a notepad, his shadow silently blocking out the last ray of sunlight.
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I know, I went a little overboard with the geography of New York. My apologies.
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667
Sept 6, 2005 13:26:53 GMT -5
Post by Dante on Sept 6, 2005 13:26:53 GMT -5
Mysterious shadowy figures and threats of violence. Good stuff, Akbar.
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Antenora
Detriment Deleter
Fiendish Philologist
Put down that harpoon gun, in the name of these wonderful birds!
Posts: 15,891
Likes: 113
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667
Sept 6, 2005 14:31:07 GMT -5
Post by Antenora on Sept 6, 2005 14:31:07 GMT -5
*concurs with Dante* I look forward to seeing whom the mysterious figure is.
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667
Sept 6, 2005 22:39:29 GMT -5
Post by PJ on Sept 6, 2005 22:39:29 GMT -5
Cool. I hope I appear, soon.
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