Chapter Five
The ride to In'N'Out was more swift than the Baudelaires had hoped for. The road was straight for the most part and it led straight to the diner. After Violet parked the motorcycle outside the diner, she and Klaus checked each other's disguises. 'I think we look pretty tough. Maybe if Esmé sees us she'll only think how
in we are.'
Klaus said, looking at Violet, who looked a bit like Esmé with the heavy make-up Colette had applied on her face. 'Yeah. Let's just go in and ask Sookie about Kevin's order.'
Going into the diner, the Baudelaires saw Sookie running around carrying trays with plates filled with food, managing to not let them fall. The place was just as crowded as the night before, with music playing in the background, along with the sound of dozens of voices talking all at the same time. It was unsettling, but not as unsettling as the people that the Baudelaires saw sitting in a booth table in the right side of the diner. Esmé Squalor, Carmelita Spats and Felix Casanova were having their own lunch, while Felix also scribbled on his clipboard. They were also sporting different outfits which were just as absurd as anyone who had ever met - or read about them - would expect.
Esmé has used soda cans as curlers, and she was wearing nothing but a black leather bikini and a black leather jacket complete with boots and gloves. Carmelita wore a transparent plastic outfit with strange boots that seemed to be made of plaster. Felix wore a leather jacket with bright yellow tights and enourmous, black and round dark glasses. The villains were sitting and eating their lunch, too distracted to notice the Baudelaires. In a daring move, Violet and Klaus chose the booth next to them.
'I wish we could just do it and move on. I'm getting sick of this food.' Carmelita whined, while playing with her burger. Esmé gave Carmelita a nasty look, but then smiled. 'Carmie, you know very well this sort of food is
in right now. Also, we can't rush things. There are some things I must get done before we execute our plan.'
'Esmé, did you purchase all the necessary items?' Felix asked. 'Yes. Our
friend in the kitchen has all he needs. Also, Felix, you look very handsome in that outfit. It's very
in.' Esmé said. 'Why, thank you, Esmé.'
The Baudelaires were listening carefully, but they were distracted by the arrival of a waitress. The waitress in question was not Sookie, who was in the exact opposite side of the diner serving a table of eight people. The waitress who came to wait the Baudelaires' table was the one person they never expected to meet in that diner.
'Hi, my name is Cindry and I'll be your waitress. Have you decided on your order?' Said Cindry Fulfillment. Klaus' sweetheart and a long lost friend of the Baudelaires. They hadn't seen her since they fled Casanova Casino aboard the
JubJub and they were worried sick about her, as she was absent in their encounter with Esmé and her gang at Jupiter Island. Cindry didn't look like she recognized either of the Baudelaires, and stared blankly through the window, waiting for their order. Her hair was wavy, and for some reason she sported bright yellow streaks that matched the walls of the diner, and light purple lipstick, together with a similar outfit to Sookie's.
'We'll have the In Cheeseburgers with fries and bacon. We're actually picking up the lunch for the people of Caligari Camp.' Klaus said, hoping both at the same time that Cindry would recognize him, so he could hug and kiss her, and that she wouldn't, so she wouldn't act all surprised and ruin his disguise.
'Oh, alright. I'll tell Sookie. She handles the Caligari Camp orders.' Cindry said, walking away from the Baudelaires' table. They both wanted desperately to call her and remove their disguises, but Esmé Squalor was
right next to them, along Carmelita Spats and Felix Casanova. Cindry also wore a similar outfit to Carmelita's, only with the In'N'Out Burger logo. Following Cindry's leaving, the Baudelaires were left unsure what to do next. They didn't know if they should try to make contact with Cindry and leave the diner with her. If they did, they would surely be taking Esmé and her two followers to the Camp with them and that they did not want.
'What do we do now?' Violet whispered to Klaus. 'I don't know.' He whispered back.
'Hi.' Sookie said, appearing out of nowhere, suddenly and scaring the Baudelaires. 'Oh, sorry about scaring you! I already ordered the Caligari Camp's lunch. You can pick it up in a few minutes. Cindry will bring you your personal orders. Don't mind her, she's new. Did you know she breaks every piece of tableware she carries? We have to send out orders in plastic and paper now.' Sookie said, and then walked away. Esmé's cackle was heard. 'That's hilarious, Carmie. Now, would you be a dear and go ask Cindry to bring me a refill?' Esmé asked. Carmelita protested, but went anyways.
'Good. Now that she's gone, we can take care of the...
details of our plan.' Esmé said.
'Hi again' Sookie said, arriving at the Baudelaires' table. They were both startled as they were so focused and concentrated on Esmé and Felix's conversation. 'I've already put Caligari Camp's lunch orders outside, in your motorcycle. I don't mean to push you two out, but now that you've eaten and gotten your order, could you give up the table? There is a bunch of hungry bikers needing burgers, and they're...angry when they are hungry.' Sookie said. The Baudelaires were extremely aggravated - a word which here means irritated
and annoyed - by Sookie's request, as it would prevent them from hearing whatever Esmé had in the works with Felix. Violet and Klaus got up and out of the diner in no time, wasting no time in getting away from Esmé. She could still recognize them.
'I have this sick feeling this is not the last we've seen of Esmé Squalor for today.' Violet enunciated while walking towards their motorcycle, which had a sidecar full of burgers, fries and sodas to go. 'Me too. But let's take care of getting to the camp now. We've gotta warn Kevin, Colette and the kids about Esmé. Whatever she's doing here, she must have heard of Caligari Camp.' Klaus said, sitting behind Violet as she started the motorcycle, and the two headed away from In'N'Out Burger towards Caligari Camp.
Their ride to the camp was also a quick one, and in no time the elder Baudelaires saw themselves in the company of Kevin, Colette, Sunny and Beatrice inside Kevin and Colette's cabin. The kids were outside, at the outdoors camp table, eating their lunch, while Kevin and Colette looked at them with a worried expression on their faces, having just heard what the elder Baudelaires had to say from their visit to the diner.
'Esmé Squalor? Here?' Kevin said. 'What could she possibly want in the hinterlands?' was Kevin's doubt. 'I don't know what, but I'm certain she's up to no good, as always.' Colette said. 'What if she comes here? What if...She tries to re-recruit us? She
must have heard about us at the diner.'
'Now, don't be silly, Colette. We've been living peacefully for a while now. There's no way Esmé would even need us. We're good, I think.' Kevin said, but no matter how much he tried to cover it, his face was still with the same worried expression. 'But Kevin, you remember
their recruiting plan atop Mt. Fraught, don't you? I was so afraid those eagles would drop all of us to our deaths.' Colette said. Once, she and Kevin, along with Hugo
and Fernald, were 'recruited' in a plan engineered by two 'friends' of Count Olaf and Esmé Squalor atop the Mt. Fraught, in the Mortmain Mountains.
'Anyways, we better prepare. If Esmé comes here, we must be ready.' Violet said. She had her hair tied with her ribbon, and an inspired look on her face. 'I'll probably need the help of you and the kids. This is quite possibly, my largest invention.'
'Whatever you need, we'll help you.' Kevin said. 'Also, Colette, do you feel better? You were not very well this morning.' Violet felt it was polite to ask. Colette did look a lot better than that morning, for some reason. 'Oh. Right. Yes, thank you. I do feel better. I think I know what is my illness.'
'Maladie?' Beatrice asked, a question that meant something along the lines of 'Do you have the flu?' which Sunny translated to Colette. Colette smiled and so did Kevin. 'Actually, I'm not sick at all. I was unsure yet, but four days in a row...I'm
pregnant!'
'Oh! Congratulations!' Violet said. Klaus, Sunny, and Beatrice, too, congratulated Colette - and Kevin - for the good news. Because, in life, the coming of a baby is generally good news, unless it's coming to two clueless teenager parents who were irresponsible. Colette and Kevin were far from irresponsible, and they so wanted a child of their own, they deserved one and they were happy. 'I've already decided on the name. If it's a boy,
Hugo. I haven't decided on a girl name yet though.' Colette said. She and Kevin held hands, and he admired her with great love.
'Well. We'll get started with Violet's invention outside. Let's go!' Klaus said. He felt that Colette and Kevin needed a moment of privacy, and the Baudelaires were not ones to get in the way of others' privacy.
'Hey guys!' said the camp kids, who were eating their lunch outside, as they saw Violet, Klaus, Sunny and Beatrice come out of Kevin and Colette's cabin. 'Do we give them the news?' Klaus asked Violet. 'It's not our news to give, Klaus. Let's go. My invention will not make itself.' Violet said, walking down the steps to the ground, towards the tableful of kids ahead. She would need a lot of help, because out of all the lions wandering in the hinterlands, there was a
lioness who would stop at nothing to reach whatever goals she had. And it was this
lioness that the Baudelaires were most afraid of, hands down.