Chapter Eight
'We have to go to In'N'Out Burger.' Violet Baudelaire said, as she looked at Kevin and Colette, and the camp kids. 'You probably should get out of here. I have a feeling Esmé might comeback.' She added. Colette and Kevin were shocked upon hearing this. Also, the Baudelaires had again disguised themselves in their biker outfits, making themselves look almost entirely different.
'Leave the camp? But Violet! We have nowhere else to go!' Colette said. 'And I'm with child, I have another life in me I need to take care of. I can't go running in the hinterlands with the lions, the Sanity Squad and Esmé Squalor out there.' Kevin now hugged Colette, and everyone was very tense.
'Maybe you could spend the evening at Rusty's junkyard. It would probably safer there than here just for tonight, at least until we can tell for sure that Esmé is done and gone.' Klaus said. Whatever Esmé had in the works, the Baudelaires were going to stop her.
'We have to go.' Violet said. Kevin said nothing, merely walking towards the camp gate. He opened it, and a cold rush of wind came through lifting a cloud of dust up in the air. The four Baudelaires headed out of the camp towards Violet's motorcycle. The air was colder now, and the famous blue twilight hour of the hinterlands approached. Soon, it would be night.
'Baudelaires...Watch out for the Sanity Squad. They will do anything to snatch you.' Colette warned them. After putting Beatrice and Sunny in the motorcycle and climbing on top of it with Klaus, Violet looked back at Colette and Kevin and the camp kids. They were all with worried expressions in their faces. Clearly, Esmé Squalor and her two cohorts' visit had affected the camp's morale - a word which here means 'spirit' - and the Baudelaires' own morale was affected by it, as it was everytime they met Esmé Squalor.
'Don't worry. We'll be back.' Violet said, starting the motorcycle. The Baudelaires moved away from Caligari Camp, while the camp kids waved goodbye. Too bad that was the last time the Baudelaires ever saw those kids, but it was not the last time they had seen Colette and Kevin. Because, as the Baudelaires drove to In'N'Out Burger, Esmé Squalor was setting her plan into motion.
'Look!There's someone walking alone on the road!' Klaus pointed, spotting a silhouette in the distance. As they got closer, and the sky got darker, Violet turned on the motorcycle's headlight. The headlight revealed the person as Sookie, the In'N'Out Burger waitress.
'Sookie!' The Baudelaires shouted driving past her, then turning and making a circle turn and parking next to a standing Sookie. They noticed she had been crying.
'What happened?' Violet asked. 'I was fired. Some of our earlier customers complained about my service, and the manager fired me. That red-headed girl took over my job.' Sookie was sobbing and the Baudelaires noticed she carried a suitcase with several stickers on it. 'Where are you going?' Violet asked.
'I thought I'd ask Colette and Kevin to let me stay in the camp for one night. After that I'll probably hitchhike to the city. There's a restaurant there I always wanted to work in.' Sookie said. 'It was probably best this way, but still...I worked at In'N'Out Burger for so long and to get fired like this...'
'That's so unfair!' Klaus said. He had no doubt as to exactly who were the customers complaining about Sookie's service, which was flawless.
'That other blonde girl, Cindry, she's a disaster waiting tables. She's not cut out for it. And
I get fired!' Sookie said. It was a given, really, due to Cindry's obsession with breaking dishes, plates, cups and other dinner wares. 'And the redhead is really rude. And no one is complaining about
her. Well, I was thinking about quitting anyways. I don't like the new cook either.'
'Do you know his name?' Sunny asked. 'I don't. I avoided him, he's so brooding and strange. I don't mean to be prejudiced, but out here in the hinterlands, I do my best to avoid people I find strange. You'd be surprised at the ammount of weirdos around these parts, and I'm
not talking about the Caligari Camp kids, they're golden.'
'Are you heading to the diner, by any chance?' Sookie asked. 'Yes.' was Violet's answer. 'Well, then if you are...Don't order anything. I don't think tonight's food will be very good.'
'How come?' Sunny asked, as she was always interested in cooking and food. 'Well, I don't know, but...Just don't eat anything, alright? Well, I have to keep moving. The camp is close by and the lions hunt at night. I don't want to be lion food. See ya, Baudelaires!' Sookie waved goodbye and resumed her walk to the camp.
'What do you think, Violet?' Sunny asked. 'I think we better investigate this.'
The Baudelaires resumed their drive to the diner, and, as they approached it, they noticed the large ammount of cars and bikes outside the place. The diner was clearly a full house, even fuller than before. 'Good. We'll blend in and Esmé will not notice us.'
The diner was indeed crowded, every table was full of tough-looking people. Most of them were also bikers, and they were all eating, talking, laughing, and some, even fighting. Running all over the place, there was Cindry, carrying trays with food in plastic dishes and drink in plastic cups. She still could not be trusted with china, and Klaus specially was sad to see her regress to her obsessive dish-breaking state, and felt guilt remembering when he encouraged it so that the Baudelaires could retrieve the sugarbowl at Casanova Casino. Cindry was busy running and delivering orders to their respective tables, unlike Carmelita, who leaned agains the kitchen counter sanding her nails and putting them up against the light. Cindry was clearly swamped, while Carmelita slacked off - an expression here meaning 'didn't do squat' - and the kitchen vapors made it impossible to see the cook.
The Baudelaires had failed to notice earlier, but the diner had a small stage in one of the corners, coupled with a spotlight shining above and a red curtain behind. The loud music playing in the diner was actually karaoke - a word which here means 'an embarrassing form of entertainment often engaged by people who can't sing.' - and the person who was singing, of all people, was one Esmé Squalor. Esmé still had the soda can curlers, but was now sans the leather jacket, wearing only her bikini top, short shorts and fishnet stockings. The customers of the diner all payed great attention, and as evil and villainous as she was, Esmé Squalor was not a bad singer.
'Yeah baby!' shouted one of the bikers. 'You go girl!' shouted a blonde man wearing mascara in a table to the side. They all watched Esmé sing while eating from the seemingly delicious food that was delivered to their tables by Cindry Fulfillment, who was running all around while Carmelita put on her tap-dancing shoes.
'Oh no!' The Baudelaires said in unison. In the past, they had witnessed a performance by Carmelita inside the odious submarine
The Carmelita. It was torture, plain and simple, and they remembered how bad a performer Carmelita was. 'Esmé! Let me do my tap-dancing number!' Carmelita shouted trying to make herself heard over the voices of the diner's customers.
'I could use a little help, Carmelita!' Cindry snarkingly said, walking past Carmelita with a tray ful of food to deliver. 'Bite me, dish girl.' Carmelita said, showing her tongue and making a face at Cindry. If Cindry didn't have her hands full maybe she would have also shown Carmelita
another gesture, one I cannot describe.
'I hope you're all enjoying the food. I'm friends with the cook.' Esmé said to the microphone after finishing a song. 'Because you're such a warm crowd, I'll sing yet another song for you! Hit it!' She said to the man by the jukebox karaoke machine, which hit a button and then another instrumental song began, followed by Esmé's voice.
'As evil as she is, she's not bad.' Klaus said, realizing how paradoxal it sounded. 'Well, let's find a spot. We need to watch what happens. I have a bad feeling.' Violet said.
The Baudelaires spotted an empty booth table across the diner, and quickly made their way there - everyone knows it's often hard to get a table in a restaurant. I once had to fight my way through an entire karate class to make sure my reservation at Requiem Café, my favorite restaurant, were secured. After all the karate students were lying, defeated on the matress in that dojo, I enjoyed a hot meal followed by a cold dessert at Requiem Café, waiting for a volunteer friend whom I had previous arrangements with.
But this story is not about me and my rendez-vous - a french word which here means 'encounters with friends, lovers, enemies, and family' - as it is about the Baudelaires, and what happened next at the In'N'Out Burger. And what happened next, they did not see it coming. Not at all.