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Post by BSam on Feb 7, 2013 19:23:44 GMT -5
whoa sals
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 7, 2013 20:15:21 GMT -5
I love when you put real life salsa in and nobody can tell the difference. Also Im just glad Duncan and I weren't lovers.
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 7, 2013 20:15:52 GMT -5
AND IM SUPER GLAD I DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY SAYING DANTES NAME BEFORE YOU POSTED THIS ANYMORE.
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 7, 2013 20:16:11 GMT -5
ALSO WHAT WHAT LIME A RITAS. AND SHERRY BE DYIN'.
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Post by bryan on Feb 7, 2013 22:11:53 GMT -5
IS THAT ACTUALLY HIS NAME
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 7, 2013 23:19:35 GMT -5
MAYBE IM SUPPOSED TO BE MYSTERIOUS ABOUT IT GUESS. If you managed to stay in skype for more than ten seconds you would have heard me saying it on accident.
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Post by bryan on Feb 8, 2013 0:16:43 GMT -5
WOW LOW BLOW CAUSE THATS NOT EVEN MY FAULT
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Post by Fancy on Feb 8, 2013 1:19:15 GMT -5
Lol Dante giving Pandora a strike.
Also, wtf, I thought for sure Pandora was going to win.
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Post by Charlie on Feb 8, 2013 5:51:23 GMT -5
Wow, sure am glad Dante's not here yet, otherwise he'd have totally have been all mad and salsa. Nice chapter by the way. Sherry Ann's last words were my favourite bit
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Post by Lucas on Feb 8, 2013 6:27:20 GMT -5
Just for reference Tryina, in English "Pedo" is used in relation to children, and is usually used in reference to the word "pedophile"... And a pedophile is someone who has... Inappropriate relations with children. Pedo Bear ;D
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Post by Sixteen on Feb 8, 2013 11:42:47 GMT -5
I'm not ready for this to end.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2013 17:38:12 GMT -5
BSam, Emma Squalor and Dante stood, each awaiting a potential attack. Dante was wielding a sword, BSam had some nunchucks, and Emma Squalor had no weapons. Dante started laughing. “Emma, you fool. You think you can beat us with nothing? That’s insane!” BSam swung his nunchucks, and started running towards Emma. Emma did a backflip, kicked the nunchucks out of his hands and caught them herself. Then she crushed them with her bare hands, and started screaming. She did a jumping kick into BSam’s face. On the ground, BSam tried to get up, but Emma body slammed him. She gave him one final punch in the stomach, which mercifully killed him. Emma got down on her knees and said a quiet prayer for BSam, because she’s still the most compassionate member. Then she got up, and faced Dante. “I’ve been watching every single fight in these games from afar. I’ve been using all the information I obtained to become the most fearsome fighter in the entire arena. And when I beat you, I will return to rule 667 as the kindest queen in its history. Never again will the citizens suffer.”
Dante began to cry. “Emma, I want the same thing that you want, don’t you see. Everybody at 667 needs to be happy and free,” he sniffled, and looked down dramatically. “I want to be that ruler. But deep down, I know I can’t be. I betrayed my teammates to win. I’m a fraud, and I don’t deserve to be called king of Dark Avenue.” He took out his sword, and threw it to the ground. “Emma, you’re the ruler 667 Dark Avenue needs. Please, kill me. It’s for the best.”
Emma looked at Dante with sadness. “But Dante, with that speech, you just proved you’re pure of heart. Let’s end this right now. Tragedy certainly wouldn’t have any problem with us ruling together. You have my word that I won’t kill you.” And everybody knew that Emma Squalor’s word was gold. Unfortunately, Dante also knew that. He started laughing maniacally. “Oh, silly naïve Emma. Now that I have your promise to not kill me, it won’t even be a challenge to kill you.” He took a gun that was secretly taped to his back, John McClane style, and shot Emma in the heart. “667 is not meant to be fun! It’s not meant to be a place for friendship, or kindness, or anything like that. It’s about Lemony Snicket, and Lemony Snicket only.” With Emma’s last breath, she said “I forgive you, Dante.” Kind until the very end. “I have won!” exclaimed Dante. “From now all, all citizens of 667 Dark Avenue will spend 18 hours a day researching Lemony Snicket theories. They will spend the remaining 6 hours a day bowing to me.” He raised his arms in the air in victory. Suddenly, an arrow pierced one of his hands. “Who shot that arrow!” he yelled. “I did,” said a voice from behind him. Out of the shadows walked Bryan, holding a bow and arrow. TWIST!
“But, you died! We killed you,” exclaimed Dante. “I faked my own death,” explained Bryan. I had to make it convincing, so I faked it in every other 667 fic as well. You see Dante, I knew about your plan this whole time. Aligning yourself with other powerful members to take out threats, then betraying them all when the threats were gone. I knew before the games even happened.
*Flashback* - Bryan is walking through the library when he sees some blueprints. He snoops around, looking at them. As he starts leafing through them, he is shocked. He sees plans for the Dark Games, how to rig the drawing process so that it gets certain contestants into the game, how to convince Tragedy to let the winner actually become the admin. From there, he sees plans on how to kill everybody in the game. He leafs through it, looking for his own name. He finds it on the last page. “Make fun of Emma Squalor, who has come out with no weapons, until BSam and Bryan foolishly try to attack her. She will kill them. Next I only have to emotionally manipulate Emma, and the crown is mine.” Signed at the very bottom was Dante’s name. I don’t know why he signed it, or even left it sitting out in the middle of the library at all. I guess he’s not as smart as everybody thinks! Also he had scribbled out the word donut before he wrote his signature. Weird. *End Flashback*
Dante looked at him. “Yes, I was anticipating you to be my toughest opponent. I should have known that your early death was too good to be true!” Dante started to get nervous. He hadn’t planned for this to happen. He started to laugh, because Bryan is such a funny guy, but then he stopped because this was serious. Dante thought quickly, and pulled out his magic wand. Fortunately for Bryan, he also pulled out his magic wand. They pointed them at each other, and beams of bright light shot out of them. The two streams of light collided, and the two of them were holding on to their wants tightly, trying to fend off the magic. Suddenly, the ghost of Emma Squalor came out of Dante’s wand. “Bryan,” said Emma’s ghost. “All the people that Dante has killed are coming out of his wand now.” Ghost Pandora emerged next. “We’re here to help you, Bryan,” she said. “You have to defeat Duncan.” Ghosts of several other former members that Dante had killed previously to this story such as swans and Charlotte came out of the wand too, because Dante was a murderer during his time at 667. Twist! All the ghosts teamed up to try to weaken his beam. “Bryan,” they all said. “You have to use all your power.” Bryan nodded, knowing what he had to do. He was in it to win it, so he used all his power, and his beam sliced through Dante’s. A huge explosion happened, and both of them fell down.
Bryan dusted himself off. He looked over and saw Dante’s dead body. Tragedy’s voice announced “The winner of the Dark Games is Bryan.” Bryan was brought from the arena to his new throne. All the 667ers were glad that he was their king. His first act as king was to bring everybody who died to life who had died during the Dark Games. Everybody was very happy about this. Bryan ruled for years and years, and was the best, funniest king ever. The End
Correction – In a previous chapter, it was stated that Songbird died a heroic and selfless death. In actuality, Pandora just beat the salsa out of her. It was pretty badass. The Dark Games regrets this error.
The Dark Games is brought to you by Bud Light Lime-a-ritas. Not to be confused with Bud Light Lime. Bud Light Lime-a-ritas, for when you want to drink a popsicle.
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Post by bryan on Feb 18, 2013 17:53:05 GMT -5
Unsurprising.
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Post by bryan on Feb 18, 2013 17:53:32 GMT -5
But really tho
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Post by Charles Vane on Feb 18, 2013 17:54:32 GMT -5
AMAZEBALLS.
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